


Grasping at the Sky

by FeatherFang



Category: Naruto
Genre: Action, Death, F/M, Hidden Story, Romance, Slow Burn, Violence, different pairings from ending, slight AU, slight cannon change, why becuase some of them were awful and you know it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2018-10-09 01:12:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 148,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10400415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeatherFang/pseuds/FeatherFang
Summary: She had spoken out of turn, but she didn't regret it. A small spark that lit the way towards a friendship that would have them both reconsidering their paths in life. Alone they were strong, but together they burned out their regrets and realized that maybe the way of the world, wasn't the way of their world.





	1. Introductions

_**Grasping at the Sky  
** _

"We all live under the same sky, but we don't all have the same horizon"  
― Konrad Adenauer

**Chapter one: Introductions**

The wind blew across the sand village tousling Kira's hair and grabbing the ends of the many strings in her hands, scrambling them. Frowning the teen brushed the grains of sand away from them, before continuing to weave the colorful earth tones together into patterns of knots and twists, her hands moving methodically with speed only known to those who have done the motions for years.

As her hands moved, twisting string this way and that, she listened for the door to open in the room she was sitting on top of. The Kazekage's tower was the highest point in the village and his office was at the very top, making it both a good vantage point and strategically vulnerable, Some Kira had taken notice of years ago.

"They should be done with the meeting soon, Kira."

She looked behind her from her seat on the roof, her black hair swishing as her ponytail brushed over her shoulder. Her two companions were standing, one stiff and straight, the other leaning forward slightly so she could look over Kira's shoulder. The girl was smiling, her blond hair rumpled by her ANBU mask sitting atop her head like a hat.

"Yeah. Thanks, Aya," Kira muttered, glancing behind her friend to look at the other person on the roof with them.

All three of them were ANBU, but the two girls were younger than the man behind them, who kept his almost plain mask, the bottom half covered in red cloth, in place. Shura was a stern man, something that two girls probably needed to keep them in line, even if one of them had been in the force most of her life.

Kira relaxed her neck again, going back to her belt in the making. There were twenty pieces of smooth twine in all – half of them were tan like the sand and half were dark blue. Her steady hands worked, taking the one section she had been working on – the middle – and finishing off another flat circle that was mostly tan with just one small blue bead in the middle. She was almost done, just another hour or so and she'd have a new belt for herself.

Even with her hands busy, she wanted to be done waiting. Her need to calm her mind was much greater than that of finishing her latest project. Her anxiety had been on high since they had gotten back.

They had just returned from a mission in the Land of Grass, and yet they had already heard enough to make her blood simmer in frustration and worry. Gaara, their Kazekage, had been kidnapped a week ago after single-handedly protecting the village, leaving him vulnerable. Thankfully, their allies in the Hidden Leaf were able to rescue him. Their team hadn't even known about it until today; no one had contacted them. She hadn't been there, and it made her feel a bit sick to her stomach thinking about it.

Of course, they wouldn't have made it back in time, but still…

She sighed, carefully rolling up her work and pocketing it in one of her pouches where a handful of glittering beads waited to be used as well. She tilted her head, turning around as she heard the door below them open and footsteps leave the room as the meeting ended. It had been about what happened, she assumed, as Gaara had only been back a few days and was recovering.

"Come," Shura's voice commanded from behind them and Aya smiled slightly before slipping her mask back on, a sad oni-like face replacing her ever-cheerful one. Kira had never understood that, how she could always smile, even after everything. Then again, she and Aya were quite different from each other.

Making sure her weapons were in place on her thigh, she pulled back on her own wolfish mask. She had learned from a teasing Aya that it was not actually a wolf but rather a desert coyote, though she still wondered if it had originally been a trophy from the Leaf before their alliance since most ANBU masks from the Sand were some form of oni or comprised completely of cloth like her two teammates'.

None of them spoke another word and with a small nod from the squad leader, all three of them vanished in a flash, quickly descending from the roof and entering the building. They reappeared in moments, all crouching in front of their leader's desk.

His siblings were there and the elder brother, Kankurō, flinched slightly from his spot near a lone couch at their arrival. Gaara sat behind the desk calmly, his arms crossed over his vest, his sister leaning on the front of the desk, her hands gripping the edge as she tilted her head. Finally being able to see him in person – alive and well – left Kira relieved.

"Team Fukurō reporting in from our mission in the Land of Grass sir," Shura stated. Gaara raised an unseen eyebrow ever so slightly before nodding his head.

"Proceed."

Kira and Aya stayed quiet as Shura gave their report on their Bingo Book assignment. Their job had been to track down a wanted ninja who stole Intel on their village, and dispose of him quickly. Upon finishing his report, Shura stood and pulled out the recovered scroll, placing it on the desk.

While he was doing this, Kira was surveying the Kage. Gaara had always been hard to read, and given his past, he had reason to hide his emotion. Still, even though he had been cruel and bloodthirsty as a child, she had never felt it was his fault; it was his father's. Kira had never felt any sorrow at the loss of the last Kazekage, but then she had never liked him. In fact, she always had loathed the man she had worked for in her younger years; she just hadn't had a choice in the matter. Kira frowned, worry swallowing her hate as she looked at Gaara. He didn't even know who she was, not really, just another ninja, but she knew him. She wondered how he felt, with the one tails now gone.

Even with his façade though, something about him was off. He looked more tired, and his posture was stiff instead of relaxed like he normally was when she saw him these days. The whole event had left an unseen mark on him, and she had no way of knowing what it's impact would be. She bit her lip under her mask and shifted a bit.

"We heard about what happened," Aya said once her leader had finished and they all stood. "We're all glad you're back safely."

As always, Gaara looked slightly surprised. Even after two years, it was hard for him to really get used to the fact that people were no longer scared of him. They looked up to him, loved him. He was a good leader, to be sure, but his actions on some points bothered Kira.

Like the fact that he had a problem asking for help…

"Yes. All things considered, things turned out fine. Thank you for the sentiment."

…All things considered?

As if nothing else could have been done?

He'd died for God's sake!

Kira scowled, her fists clenching at her sides, the leather fabric squeaking slightly and drawing the attention of the others in the room. Aya shifted next to her and even through the mask she could feel Shura's glower of warning.

The siblings all looked curious, though, not angry. She'd spoken with the elder siblings from time to time as they had grown up, Kankurō had even been a friend that she'd lost contact with, but Gaara only knew her as much as most did. She was an ANBU trained Ninja, part of team Fukurō. Just another ninja.

"Is there something you would like to say?" Gaara asked bluntly. Kira swallowed, wondering if she should just drop it. It had been her job before though, even if no one had known knew about it, and now she felt liked she'd failed. It was a silly thing to say; yet if she stayed quiet, nothing would change.

"Yes." She stepped forward slightly, getting in better range of the people she spoke too. "Perhaps in light of recent events, you should reconsider strengthening your personal guard."

"Kira!" Shura snapped. "Forgive her mouth, my lord," he muttered bowing slightly.

Kira scowled under her mask before stepping back again. She was out of line and she knew it, but still, she didn't feel bad about stating what was on her mind. Gaara stared her down for a long moment, before nodding his head and dismissing the group quickly. With that, Kira and her team flashed away and she knew quite well she'd be in for a lecture once they reached ANBU quarters.

…

"Well, it would seem she didn't take missing something so important well," Temari observed once the siblings were alone again. Kankurō shrugged his shoulders.

"I'm not too surprised. It's not as if people haven't been hinting at it recently. She just stated it outright," he replied tilting his head. "Still, it was a bit odd of her to voice it, she's always been rather quiet, kind of shy."

Gaara, who had simply been listening, frowned.

"Do you know her?" he finally asked glancing at Kankurō of them. His brother nodded his head.

"Yeah, I used to run into her at the training grounds. She's younger than me, and for a little while, I helped her with taijutsu. She was pretty bad at it. We were friend for a long while, I use to spend time at her place when…things weren't easy at home. I guess we just… kind of lost track of each other." He shrugged his shoulders.

Gaara nodded his head. Most ANBU were rather quiet people from what he had seen. ANBU did see the worst of what it meant to be a Ninja after all.

"She brings up a good point, though," Temari pointed out, looking to Gaara who simply eyed her. It was not as if his siblings hadn't brought it up before, but it had been a while since the last time.

"Oh come on sis, we can handle this. Besides we both know Gaara prefers people he can really trust," Kankurō reasoned. Gaara could remember a time when his brother had been scared of him, was too afraid to even be near him. Now, though, Kankurō felt the need to protect him in person. No one could do it better, or so the puppet master had said.

"I know, and I get it, but we can't always be there, you know that. You both do." Her sharp gaze turned from one brother to the next with her words. "I'm an envoi to the Leaf, and in a few weeks I'll be gone for over a month, and it's something only I can do. Gaara you know that both Kankurō and I would be more helpful as reaching hands, not just silent guards."

Of course, he knew.

It never left the redhead's mind that his position was one of careful balance. He was young and powerful, but he also had a very negative past and really no leadership skills other than what he had picked up along the way. Gaara had made his sister an envoi because she was friendly with several of the ninja there and she was smart, so she could pass intel back and forth with ease.

He was also aware that his brother could probably do much the same. While not as smart as their eldest sibling, Kankurō had a way of convincing people to listen, and he was far more approachable than the Kazekage himself.

"While that may be true, I wouldn't even know where to begin with such a process," Gaara relented. He certainly didn't need an entire team watching him along with his siblings when they were available, but he also knew that his family did have lives other then what they were doing now. He could not take opportunities from them just because it made him feel better.

Kankurō rubbed his neck, standing up from his place on the couch. "There's no need to figure it out right this moment bro, these things take time," he reasoned. "I would think about looking into the ANBU who just brought this up, though, don't you think? I mean, it's been a while since I had more than a few words with her, but she's in the field she is for a reason, right?"

The redhead eyed him for a moment, his teal eyes skating over both older teens in thought before he turned to stare out at the village below him. The puppet master did have a point, but Gaara was not one to take chances. He needed to find out more about the ANBU nameád Kira before he put her in a position of trust.

"I'll have to speak with her then."

From behind him, in the reflection of the glass, Gaara saw his siblings give each other a sideways glance as smirks crawled upon their lips.

This would be interesting.


	2. Absent

A tired sigh escaped Kira's lips as she placed her mask on top of her ANBU clothes before closing her locker. Shura had not been happy, that was for sure. When he'd left the two girls right after the debriefing, his face had been contorted in irritation, making the scar on it seem more prominent before he'd covered it when his face veil once again. There wasn't much he could do though; Kira was too powerful to be benched for a single offence, and only the Kage could bench her.

"See you later Kira. Enjoy the couple of days off we have, will you? You look half dead!" Aya laughed slightly as she waved, pushing though the door out of the ANBU section. Kira frowned glancing in the mirror at her face.

Her skin was pale, but it had always been, even after spending most of her life here – in the land of sand where the sun shorn brightest – her body didn't seem to want to tan. Her black hair was a bit rumpled, her side braids falling out of their place in her ponytail. If she had to guess though, it was her eyes that her friend had commented on. Besides being cat-eyed with the color of sandstone, she had dark rings forming around them. Four days awake on a mission did that to you. She snorted slightly, a few more weeks and she might start to look like the Kazekage.

She shook her head and got to work, pulling her hair free and redoing her braids before brushing it all back into a tail again. She smoothed out her normal ninja clothes and pulled on the belt around her waist, making sure it was tight and her ninja headband was secure on it. Lastly, she wrapped her left forearm and right shin in ninja wrap. She nodded to herself in the mirror before she turned, grabbing her Tonfas on her way out the door.

With her twin weapons on her thigh and traveling pack on her back, she started the trek out of the tower, her feet taking her out and onto the sandy path. She should go home, get some sleep and have a decent meal that wasn't dried food, but she didn't want to. The woman who had grown to be her mother – Meela – was likely working and trudging in half dead would only give the older women more gray hair then she already had.

The training grounds then, she decided, turning down a street and heading for the covered area built into a sandstone cliff side. When she arrived there, only a few ninja were present, most of them genin getting ready to pass their exams. She passed a boy throwing shirikin madly at a dummy and sat down on a large stone bench for a moment, watching.

Two students were sparing, and at first they seemed well matched, punch for block, dodge for throw. But as time went on, the taller of the two boys got the upper hand, and finally, tripped up the other, pinning him to the ground with a foot. They stared at each other for a moment before the one on the ground grumbled and was helped up by the victor. Kira smiled slightly. It was good to see kids being kids.

"Man, were we ever that little?"

Kira rolled her eyes and looked to the side where Kankurō had appeared, grinning like a fox. She eyed him for a moment before returning her gaze to the front.

"Kankurō."

"Aw, come on Kira! A few years ago we were doing the same thing!"

"I remember." Kira muttered. Of coarse she remembered. She hadn't been close to either of the other sand children, but the puppet master and she had been friends. Kankurō was older then she was, and she remember days where he would help her spar and she would be face down in the dirt. Back then her taijustu sucked, and an uneasy friendship had formed from it. From there it had become a quickly and easy connection and she'd spent almost all of her free time around."What brings you here?"

"Well, you made kind of a scene back in the office you know. Wanted to make sure you were alright." He plopped down next to her. "So, are you?"

"Yes." She said as if by reflex. Kira shifted a bit, setting her pack down and putting her tonfas on her lap. "It was out of line... but I don't regret it."

"Eh, don't worry, Gaara didn't take offense. Hell, I _wish_ he would listen to you. Temari and me started acting as his guards because he didn't want ANBU, but we can't always be there." He glanced off in a different direction, his eyes darting back to the tower as if he wished his brother could hear what he was saying. "So…" The puppet master eyed her weapon – both tonfa's were metal, both holding hidden blades activated by pressure switches. It was hard to master, and deadly to wield, using fast reflexive moves pared with hand-to-hand combat to cut down enemies. He was the one who had given them to her, as a present for graduating from the academy. "You want to spare?"

She thought about that for a moment and felt her body ache in response to it. She could do it; she wasn't in bad shape, but that didn't mean it couldn't protest after a two-week long mission with little sleep and a tough battle.

"…Not really." Kira admitted smiling sheepishly.

"You do look tired." He agreed, after looking her over. "Why are you here then?" From the tone in his voice she knew he was fishing, trying to find common ground again. When her answer was a simple shrug, the puppet master made an exasperated sound and her lips twitched.

It had been too long since the two of them had spoken more than a few words. Years now. She frowned, her chest tightening with guilt.

"I'm surprised you came to find me." She said quietly, her fingers dancing over her weapons. "We haven't really spoken…"

"Yeah well," Kankurō cut in easily, "we've both been pretty busy, and being an ANBU at your age must have been a lot of work," he reasoned, smirking before he gestured to her weapon. "I'm glad you're enjoying my present though."

Kira glanced up at him for a moment before looking back down at her constant companions in battle. Back then she'd been working with a practice version of the weapons for months, honing her skills with them and taijustu. She'd been planning to save up to get a real ones. The puppet master had taken care of that, and she'd been so happy she'd practically tackled him to the ground in a hug.

It had also been the last time they had spoken like friends, or anything at all till now. _Years_. That word echoed in her head like a hissing ghost and she cursed herself for not doing something sooner. It had been almost two years since … since she had stopped being under close scrutiny. She should have tried to reach back out to him… but she hadn't.

"I'm sorry, I guess I didn't now how to approach you… with your brother being the Kazekage and all…" she fidgeted, tapping one of the metal bars with a fingernail.

"Yeah, I kind of figured. Don't take all the blame here though, I didn't do anything either. As I said, we've been busy." He rubbed his neck, sighing. "I guess your little out burst helped me remember why we were friends. I always liked that sense of honor you had." His hand reached out and patted her shoulder, only to have her tense and flinch away from him slightly.

She bit her lip when he drew his hand back, a perplexed look on his face. She shuffled her feet on the ground, her free hand moving to rub the opposite arm. "Sorry," she said quietly, her eyes drawn to the ground. She didn't mean to flitch away, she knew she could trust him but… well she'd never been good at people touching her, not for a while anyway.

"Relax Kira," Kankurō suggested, "no need to apologize. Though I think maybe you should think about heading home to get some rest soon." He shifting before he stood once more. "I've got to get back to work, don't be a stranger, alright?"

Kira eyed him carefully, still wondering why he had changed his mind and approached her. Maybe he was just missing a friend like she was, and that made her feel a bit better. After a moment she gave him a slow nod and the painted ninja grinned before turning, and, with a wave, started his trek back towards the tower.

Taking in a deep breath, her sore bones reminded her of what both Aya and Kankurō had said. It took a bit, but after a few minutes she found the will to stand again and picked up her bag. It was time to get back home, take a nice bath and then sleep for the rest of the day and night.

Maybe then she'd be able to make sense of what had occurred.

…

Kira Araya

NE524

Age: Sixteen

Hair Color: Black

Eye Color: Yellow

Rank: ANBU

Team: Fukurō

Code name: Koyote

Chakra Nature: Earth

Skills: Trained in stealth and twin Tonfa weapons

Mission data:

S Rank: 4

A Rank: 10

B: Rank: 16

C Rank: 7

D Rank: 0

Family:

Mother: Unknown

Father: Unknown

Siblings: Unknown

Other: In the care of Melee Araya

Gaara stared, a bit bewildered at the rap sheet he'd order in the pervious day. Being ANBU at such a young age, he'd been excepting a bit… more in her file then just basic information. Normally, ANBU were what they were because the shinobi had some skill or had achieved something to gain them such a rank. She had nothing, the only interesting skill was her proficiency with Tonfas, which was known to be a hard weapon to master. It didn't even state what jutsus she knew, or how she had been promotional to her current placement. The more he looked at it the more he was sure of one thing: there was no way Gaara would have put her on special ops for just that.

He eyed the date she was registered to the ANBU and found it had not been him, but his father who had appointed her. That made it even more confusing. What had his father been doing? He wasn't known for putting just anyone into higher ranks.

That only left one explanation:

There had to be more to this girl then just what her file said.

It was true that a lot of the information his father had recorded left key things out, and a lot of files were still unorganized and needed to be looked through. It was possible her achievements were just lost somewhere within the mess of disorganization and paranoia. The only way to know was to put in an order for it though, and even after two years a lot of his father's files were still a mess. It could take a while to find anything on her.

Rubbing his eyes he set the paper down and stood from his desk where all of his complete work laid neatly stacked to one side. He'd already sent his sibling back to their family's quarters for the day, as he had wanted to look over the information on his own.

He turned, facing the window as his eyes following the outline of the sand dunes in the distance beyond the village he was sworn to protect. Many factors were still unknown for what the future held. The enemy was fast moving up their plans, and while Gaara was now free of his Tailed Beast, there were still many out there, and he was the only one who had survived.

His eyes moved, glancing over the village as the sun began to sink below the clouds. His people were still moving about just as lively as ever, the night life of Suna nothing to scoff about, or at least that's what his brother said. He had little interest in joining such things. He was much more content to watch the people who passed by the tower.

The two children from the academy that he'd yet to ever see not in each other's company rushed by, darting around the gray-haired old woman who always passed by around this time with groceries for dinner. The old woman stumbled a bit, her cane failing to help her when it was needed, but was righted by the girl who was walking with her and was giving the two children a pointed look to their backs, and Gaara couldn't help but stare.

It seemed a bit too perfect that Gaara would see her now when he had just been looking over her file, but there she was.

Without her mask she looked younger, and after a day of rest, her posture didn't look so forced and stiff. She looked just like the picture on her file, if only a few years older now.

As he watched the two go about their walk, talking and smiling, he couldn't help but wonder who this girl was. She looked so normal, much like his sister in the way she acted away from her duties. Of course, looks were deceiving.

Letting out a tired sigh, Gaara turned away and went back to his desk. Picking up the rap sheet again, he shook his head. There was no reason to suspect foul play with the girl. Why would she speak up about his safety if she were against him?

He couldn't help but be cautious though, even if he knew that the village trusted him. Having constant bounties on his head left him a bit weary.

He would just have to see for himself what would happen.

One thing was for certain, once his siblings caught word of his movements, he'd have a lot more to deal with then he wanted to.


	3. Changes

The cemetery was quiet, as one would expect it to be. Still, Kira had thought she might see someone there, as it was mid-afternoon. Looking around, though, she was met with the company of only tombstones and graves.

It was a stretching length of land far off to the side of the village and out of sight from the main streets people ventured on. After all, no one wanted to look upon the dead every day, no matter who they were. She walked slowly into the thick of them, her sky blue ninja shirt seeming out of place in such a dismal place.

Her feet led her towards the back where larger stones stood tall, the Suna ninja sign carved on them. Those shinobi who fell were always placed towards the front as if guarding the civilians even after death. Nearest to the back, where newly dug graves sat – easily distinguished by the color of the soil – Kira stopped, her left hand gripping the stem of the bright purple flowers. The new graves, over a dozen of them, were people Kira had known, perhaps not well, but once one reached the rank of ANBU, everyone knew each other to a point.

Of all the things she had missed in the time during her team's mission, it was Gaara's death and revival that had shook her most, but the deaths of so many ANBU hadn't gone didn't go unnoticed by her either. Every single one of them had been guarding the wall that stood in front of the village, and they had all been killed, betrayed and caught off balance by it all. It didn't seem right, that Kira and her teammates had been lucky enough to not be there. Could they have made a difference? It was a question that had pledged her mind since returning home.

Now, over a week later, Kira finally had the chance to pay her respects. With all the deaths, her team along with others had been was on village entrance duty, taking shifts with other ninja of the village to guard the only way in. It was long hours of standing and pacing back and forth, something Kira wasn't a big fan of, but also something she knew how to do fairly well. Intel gathering was her forte, but watching people was a lot more interesting than watching the wind play with sand.

Now, with her shift over, she'd stopped by the only flower shop in the village and had headed to where she was now. Gently, she laid one Sego Lily in front of each new gravestone, careful to place it in the small groove so it wouldn't be blown away. She read each name, trying to recall their faces, even if they had never really spoken. Her mother told her that by remembering the dead, you kept them alive, and Kira wanted to help in that.

The last grave she went to had a slightly bigger marker, showing that the person had been prominent in the village. Kira frowned, crouching down in front of Lady Chiyo's grave and brushed away the sand that had settled on it before laying down the last three flowers.

Of all the people in the village, the elder had been the last person Kira had thought would pass on. It had surprised her, finding out how she had died; part of her had not believed it. Not because she thought the woman uncaring, but rather because she had thought Chiyo disliked Gaara.

Then again, she made it appear as though she liked very little.

"Hey, Kira!"

She flinched, startled as she turned slightly to look behind her. Kankurō stood near the entrance of the graveyard, a hand raised. After a moment, she returned the gesture, surprised to see him there, but welcoming it all the same. They had spoken a few times since the day of her outburst, but not very much. They were busy, as he had said before, and that fact remained true.

Taking her acknowledgment as a good sign, the puppet master made his way up to her as she stood up from her crouch and dusted off her black pants. She gave him a small smile when he neared her and he tilted his head, eyeing the flowers she had just set down.

"I was wondering why you were over here, but I guess I can see why now," he muttered, rubbing his neck. He caught the symbol of the ANBU on the graves and frowned. "They were people you worked with."

It wasn't a question, but Kira nodded her head anyway. "Yes. I didn't know a lot of them well, but ANBU all know each other. I remember a few large scale missions with several teams that were made up of some of these people." She sighed, resting her hand on the grave in front of her.

"What about the old lady?"

"Well, everyone knew Lady Chiyo," she pointed out blinking as if she thought he had a marble loose. Glancing at the grave she shrugged. "It's just, I never knew her but I always kind of admired her. How she could still seem to enjoy living, even after everything that happened to her.

He shifted next to her, nodding in understanding. "Yeah, I guess I can see why you'd come see her then since you missed the funeral. Probably makes the old lady happy you felt that way."

Kira smiled at that, liking the idea. "Why are you out here?" she asked, after a moment of silence. Kankurō shifted a bit again, looking a tad uneasy at her question.

"Ah well, see, I saw your mom when I was out walking, and we talked a little. She said you'd be on your own tonight."

Kira paused, recalling what day it was and nodded her head once more. "Yes, Tuesdays she goes to a friend's house and meets up with others to play cards," she explained. "I don't mind; I'm glad she still has the time to have fun."

"Cool," he said quickly before clearing his throat slightly. "So, I got to thinking maybe since you'd be on your own, do you want to hang out? You could come over for dinner and we could talk? Maybe watch a movie?"

Kira blinked once.

Twice.

Three times before her mind restarted from the shock of his sudden invitation. Sure, she had figured they'd talk a bit when they had time, but she hadn't really thought about the idea of them really hanging out again, let alone him inviting her to his house. When they were younger, Kankurō would spend hours over at her house, but she'd never been allowed to his.

Of course, with Gaara no longer trying to kill people, and his father gone, she supposed there weren't really any reasons for him not to invite her over. Plus, she wasn't sure she could really say no to the face he was giving her.

"Uh, yeah, sure," she mumbled, her eyes gluing themselves to the ground in embarrassment. Kankurō laughed at her display, moving to put a hand on her head before he seemed to think better as she tensed ever so slightly.

"Same old Kira, too shy for her own good. Come on, I need to get back and tell the cook to make enough for one more." He didn't wait for her to reply, just turned on his heels and started making his way out of the cemetery.

Kira watched him for a moment, still a bit stunned by the event that had just occurred, but found herself smiling all the same. Quickly, she turned back to Lady Chiyo's grave and gave a short bow, her ponytail flipping over her head for a moment before she stood again.

With that done, she turned away, and hurried after her old friend, feeling more like a kid than she had in a long time. Perhaps, speaking out of turn had done more good for her than she could have ever thought possible.

**….**

They had missed dinner.

Kankurō had actually managed to get out of the office on time. In his days as Kazekage, Gaara had learned his brother was not a paperwork person. Kankurō would do it, but he always got twitchy and he struggled to focus. Having to watch someone do paperwork only seemed to make it worse. With that in mind, on afternoons when it had been calm and nothing was left but paperwork, he would often dismiss his elder brother from guard duty.

Their sister was more than enough, and she could spend hours with her thoughts, much like him.

With the paperwork finally done, Temari had started towards the door out, only for a messenger to come flooding in with a report about one of their father's old less-than-savory contacts that took priority. Gaara had sat back down, Temari had taken her hand from the door and the ninja had quietly left, his sister's eyes following the messenger as if he were the scum of the earth.

In the end, it took him almost an hour to complete what needed to be done, and as they left, Gaara realized that maybe his sister didn't like paperwork very much anymore either.

When they'd finally reached the Kazekage's family quarters, Temari had sighed heavily, her fan banging to the ground as she let it lean on a wall. Dinner had been served already, as per Gaara's own orders to the cooks. The blond was sullen, even if she knew much like Gaara that warm plates of food still waited for them in the kitchen.

It was the interaction she mourned, the redhead guessed. Temari loved her family and while it had taken months for them to become comfortable with eating in the same room together after the attack on the Leaf, now it was a common pastime that she seemed to cherish.

He would at least make sure the two of them ate together if nothing else.

He knew better than to think his brother would have waited for them this long; food was his best friend, or at least, that's what Temari always said. The puppet master was probably already hidden away in his room, or that had been the assumption Gaara had made before reaching hearing-range of the family room.

The TV was on, which was a rarity all its own. The sound had the two ninjas stopping to listen and Temari raised an eyebrow when she heard a distinctly female voice.

"I'm surprised you would like a film like this."

"Hey, I like watching movies, I'm more surprised you have the time to see anything current," his brother's voice replied back, just as light. He wasn't sure what to do in this position, and when he moved to simply walk around the corner, he found his sister stopping him. The blond shook her head and pointed behind him. On the far wall was a mirror, and as convenient as it was, the reflection it showed peered into the living room, though not the whole thing.

The TV wasn't facing the mirror, but the couch was, and his brother appeared to be just sitting down, and he sank into the dark fabric with a sigh. His face paint was gone, as he normally took it off when he was off duty. Sitting beside him, though, was none other than the ANBU Kira, though she appeared to be wearing some blue and black clothing close to his sister's in style.

Gaara wasn't sure if he was surprised or not to see her. Certainly, their family didn't have many people over. Kankurō had mentioned trying to rekindle his friendship with the black haired ninja, but it had never occurred to the sand user that she'd show up at his house.

He hadn't seen much of the girl since that first day, though she did seem to follow her mother around every Friday and help her with shopping. Her files were still being found as well, so Gaara had pushed the thoughts of her aside.

Now, though, it seemed she'd once again claimed his attention. As he watched he saw a smile appear on her face as she took one hand and shoved his brother's shoulder gently.

"I do have a life, you know," she grumbled, waving at her lap where a mess of colored string sat. "Aya loves movies, so she normally drags me to everyone she sees. She's a bit of a romantic, and some of the stuff she likes is a bit too girly honestly. I liked this one, though."

Gaara glanced at his sister and was relieved to find she looked a bit surprised. Apparently, he wasn't the only one who had thought the ANBU girl tended to not speak much. He also, he realized, hadn't seen his brother with that silly grin of his for a while.

"I'm not sure weaving string is a life, Kira." The puppet master pointed out, drawing Gaara's attention back to the mirror and their reflection once more. Kira raised an eyebrow, glancing from the show to her friend again.

"It's not, it's a hobby, and it's much better than your obsession with puppets. Least I don't use string in my ninjutsu."

"Hey! They're not the same thing. I collect marionettes, I fight with giant weaponized-"

"…Marionettes?"

Temari half covered a snort of laughter, muffling it in her hand as Gaara heard his brother make a frustrated sound. "No! I, they… agh. Just watch the movie."

Back in the reflection, Gaara saw the girl look away and give a small, secret smile, before turning her attention to the movie like she'd been told. Temari took that as a cue for them to stop snooping, which Gaara was rather happy to do. He followed her, as she walked straight through the living room to the kitchen, rather than taking the side route.

Maybe she wasn't quite done after all.

"Hey guys," she said calmly, as she walked through, causing both of them to lose sight of the show. His brother, of course simply looked annoying, Kira on the other hand, straightened with a jerk. Glancing from his sister to himself she bowed her head slightly.

"Uhh…" she fumbled, her hand tangled in string, distracting her. "Welcome home, Kazekage."

Gaara almost raised an eyebrow at her. Almost. Ninja were normally not too close to their leaders, but they didn't normally change demeanors so drastically when in their presence.

Gaara shook his head to clear the thought. "Kira, Kankurō," he stated easily, to which she twitched and his brother waved with a small grin.

"Hey, Gaara. Kira was all alone today, so I thought she could use some company. We just finished dinner, so it should still be pretty fresh."

"Alright, thanks. See you around Kira," Temari replied with a smile, and then, just like that the two of them had crossed the room and were headed to the kitchen. As they moved Gaara picked up the sound of his brother laughing.

"Oh come on Kira, it's relaxing time, eh?" There was a pause, and Gaara wasn't sure if his brother was waiting for something or if the girl had simply spoken too softly for his departing hearing range. Either way, Kankurō spoke again." You're off duty, yeah? We're just normal people, and we're watching a movie."

"…Yeah." Her voice was quiet, but not unsteady like before and Gaara took that as a sign that he could cast his thoughts to other things.

"She's really twitchy, isn't she?" his sister muttered, apparently not done with the subject yet. Gaara frowned, looking forward before nodding slightly. He recalled Kankurō mentioning that Kira seemed to have some sort of touch issue, but she'd been so confident in his office weeks ago and had been perfectly fine with his brother, teasing and shoving his shoulder. Gaara hadn't seen any indication of shyness in her before he'd walked into the room.

Was she scared of him after all?

That hardly made sense, seeing as she had brought up his safety. His thoughts trailed back to her lack of information; only the front sheet of her file had been found. No Justus, no background, and no squad leader or trainer. That fact meant that her files were either hidden or had never been made to begin with. The latter seemed unrealistic; his father was careful, but not that paranoid. If they were hidden, there was no telling when her information would be found, if ever.

That left getting the answers from Kira herself like he'd considered doing from the start. She seemed wary of him, though, and that bothered him, made him wonder what she was worried about. As much as it was his job to be cautious, Gaara doubted she was hiding anything too sinister. His brother did seem to trust her well enough, seeing as he'd let her into their home.

It was a lot to consider, he realized as he turned the corner with his sister to enter the kitchen. The matter ended up consuming his thoughts through dinner and for a great deal of the rest of the night, listening to the echoes of laughter from his brother and the girl, and later, his sister. The ANBU agent left a few hours later, and by then Gaara had made up his mind. Whether she liked it or not, it was time he approached her to figure things out.

Mainly, who had overseen her training. If she answered that, it would fill in quite a few gaps in her behavior.

Gaara was starting to have his suspicions, but he sincerely hoped they turned out to be wrong.


	4. Teachers

The Library of Suna was located in a tall spiraling building that branched off from the Kazekage tower. While not as big as some, the amount of books held within was nothing to scoff at. One couldn't simply go to the next town over for a missing book, thus most hidden villages had a well-stocked library, full of books anyone could enjoy.

This was where Kira stood now, high up on the fourth floor. Easily balancing on a ladder, she dragged her figure across book after book, searching. The floor was all but silent, save her teammates that milled about. This was normal, Kira knew, because while the first two floors were open to all, restrictions took place further up. Once on the third floor, one had to be a graduate from the academy, as ninja books and guides were held there, containing basic jutsu and knowledge.

On the fourth floor, one had to pass through a checkpoint, showing ID that confirmed that one was jonin or higher in rank. This floor held more privileged information, some of which could easily get an inexperienced shinobi hurt, or even killed. There were books on the forbidden Jutsu as well, along with Bingo Book information and instructions on creating new styles.

Being an ANBU obviously gave her the necessary access for the floor, though Kira felt a bit guilty since she had never had to pass any test other than her academy graduation to get to her rank. That of course, had not been her decision.

Shaking her head, she went back to her task at hand, reading over the book titles in front of her. The Art of Earth; Earth Style: Advanced Understanding; Molding The Ground. She sighed again, scratching her head. While Kira might have been high in rank, her Jutsu were rather limited in range. Besides her…specialized abilities, she was an Earth style user. Sadly, the Land of Wind didn't have many who were Earth Chakra types, so the techniques she knew, were picked up here and there without anyone to really teach her.

Shura, her senior squad member, watched over her and Aya much like they were his students, and while they didn't mind, sometimes it was a bit annoying. It was that fact that had led to her and Aya's nickname of Sensei, even though they both knew he had never taught any graduates. Kira had to admit, it was fun to see him get all worked up. It really was like her mom said. Dads were defenseless when it came to daughters, and even though they weren't his, their team was kind of like a weird, unconventional family.

Her lack of Jutsu had been brought up, and now Kira needed to find another to work on mastering. She knew he was right – while Shura was rough around the edges and a stick in the mud, he was wise. Kira just hated studying.

"Find anything yet?" Aya called from below, Kira shook her head, her eyes still skimming the titles. While she was the only one here for new material, her two teammates came along, Aya mostly from boredom, and Shura to make sure she did what she was told.

"I've already read most of these," she answered sighing. Much like earth users, the earth chakra books were few as well.

"Well, better pick something out, so you at least look studious."

Knowing she was right, Kira moved and pulled out a book named "Earth style Jutsu" and tossed it down to Aya, who caught it easily. She moved to join her friend on the ground, before something in the newly opened space caught her eye. It was dark of course, but with sharply trained eyes Kira caught the outline of something pushed far back behind the row of books. She frowned, mentally shaming her fellow ninja. Was it so hard to put a book back properly?

Reaching back, she found the bookcase was surprisingly deep, and had to stand on her toes in order to grasp her goal. When she did she was surprised to find it was rounded and cylindrical, not flat and cornered. Pulling it out she found herself holding a worn scroll case, the seal on it nearly rubbed away. For a moment Kira was distracted with how a scroll had gotten into the book section of the library, then she realized the seal on the case was the sign for earth.

Curiosity and hope bloomed within her and she quickly tucked the container under her arm and descended from the ladder. Once her feet were on solid ground once more, she took the scroll case back in hand, hoping it wasn't empty.

"Find something?" Aya asked, coming up next to her. "What's a scroll doing here?" she muttered, to which Kira shrugged and walked over to a nearby table. Aya followed her, setting down the book she had caught earlier, as Kira popped the lid from the case and tipped it down. The paper hissed as it fell from its shell, landing in Kira's waiting hand. It wasn't huge by any means, about the same size around as her tonfas.

The ravened haired girl glanced at her friend who tilted her head slightly before nodding, and Kira set the case aside and slowly unrolled the scroll, setting it flat on the table. The writing was worn, some of the words partially gone or even missing from lines. Kira read over the first of it carefully, trying to make it out.

_Stone Familiar_

_By __

_An alternative for ninja who were unable to make pacts with Ninja Animals. Uses blood pacts to form contracts with bodiless earth spirits and bind them to one's own Chakra. When enabled, spirits take desired form, constructed from earthly materials around the Shinobi. Number and strength of spirits depends on user. Pact does not always work, as spirits are temperamental._

Blinking, Kira raised an eyebrow. She'd never heard of such a thing, and she had no idea if it was viable, seeing as the creator's name was completely gone. If the author even was the creator that is. Frowning she looked to Aya who was still scanning over the scroll. Her eyes lingered on the design of the summon circle before looking back to her.

"It could be worth a shot. You weren't able to make any pacts with anything, right? So maybe this could work, and it would count as another Earth Jutsu, get Sensei off you," she pointed out.

Aya herself had an agreement with the giant owls of the east, something Kira had always envied. She herself might have been an intelligence gathering expert, but Aya was one of the best sealers she had ever seen. The owl she was paired with had taught her a great many things, and it was because of that knowledge the blond had ended up on the team.

Aya with her sealing, Kira with her unbeatable intel gathering, and lastly, Shura with his sensory skills. They weren't the hardest hitting, but they were the best capture and gather ANBU team the Sand had.

That being said, she could see why Shura wanted her to know more. Sneaky though they might be, that meant nothing if battle became too dangerous. She needed more training, and not just for herself.

Aya nudged her, and Kira looked at her friend, letting the lip she'd been chewing on slip from her teeth. "Why don't you get a move on it? I'll let Sensei know you got something. "

Slowly, Kira nodded her head and rolled the scroll back up. She gave Aya a thankful look before waving and starting towards the stairs. While she admired her leader, she didn't need him looking over her shoulder. Aya understood she liked her privacy, and as long as she was able to prove she had something new, Shura would be pleased.

She waved to the head of the library as she exited the building –

\- and almost ran straight into Gaara.

She let a small, almost soundless squeak, only years of training allowing her to smoothly step to the side at the last moment. Sadly her scroll didn't quite make it and clattered onto the ground, making her wince. Lowering her head slightly, she planted her feet and glued her eyes to the ground.

"U-uh, sorry Lord Kazekage! I wasn't paying attention," she said quickly, her eyes darting to the scroll which landed near the young leader's feet.

"It is fine," Gaara replied easily, his voice as steady and calm as ever. She gave a small nod, unsure of how to proceed. She'd been a bit at odds with herself ever since seeing him at his home when she was visiting with Kankurō. She felt bad for acting in such a way, but there she was right now, doing the same thing.

Some habits were just not so easy to break.

A hand moving into view of where her eyes had been staring at her new assignment brought her back from her worrying. She watched, stunned as Gaara picked up the scroll and easily held it out for her.

"Here, you need this don't you?"

She swallowed before nodding her head again, her eyes briefly meeting his as she stepped forward and took the scroll from his hand. "Thank you, Lord Gaara." She waited a moment, watching as his arm lower back to his side as he stared at her. She shifted backward, wondering why he wasn't going into the library. "Is…everything alright sir?" she asked finally.

The redhead nodded his head before crossing his arms over his vest. That stance alone was something Kira herself still didn't quite understand. It could be relaxed, but she had also seen him crush enemies in that stance. His carefully placed mask was one thing that made him a very dangerous opponent.

"I was looking for you."

His words caught her off guard and she met his gaze once again, but only for a moment before they glanced to the side, locking on a crack in the stone. "I… what?" Maybe she had misheard him. It made little sense for him to be out looking for her.

"I was told your team was in the library," he continued without repeating his last words. "There is something I would like to speak with you about if that is alright?"

At first, Kira wasn't sure how to react to that at all. Part of her was secretly overjoyed. Another was confused, and a very small part was scared. Not of Gaara, but rather about what it was he might need to speak to her about. Had her outburst from two weeks ago finally been brought back up?

That seemed a bit…odd, after such a long time.

Yet, he was giving her the option to decline. His words said that clearly, and she wondered why he was giving her a choice at all. He could have very easily ordered her. Then again, as long as she'd known him, Gaara had never forced anything on anyone, not since the invasion of Konoha.

Awkwardly she ran a hand over a braid on her head, only stopping when it met her ponytail. "Yes, of course I have time. What was it you needed?" She pulled at the ends of her hair before her hand fell to her side. Gaara seemed to wait till she was done fidgeting – or was he observing her – before he spoke again.

"I would like to speak with you," he repeated and Kira suddenly felt stupid for asking. She supposed her nerves were making her unfocused. Either way, Gaara didn't seem annoyed with her; instead, he simply turned and started down the stone steps. She hesitated, watching for a moment and wondering if she should really follow. He appeared to have no ill intentions, but memories of speaking with the past Kazekage had never been pleasant. This was Gaara though, she reminded herself. She knew Gaara, better than most would ever think. She could trust him; she did trust him. Adjusting her tonfas on her leg holster, she slipped the scroll into a pouch at her waist.

She was moving down the stairs quickly following the redhead before his feet touched the ground beyond them.

…

Her footsteps were quiet and even. Softer than even some older ninja who had years of experience on both of them. It wasn't uncommon, though, ANBU were silent by nature, as she was now. Where was the fire in her voice the first time they had met? Gaara wondered about that and many other things as he led the way to the outskirts of town, away from prying eyes and ears.

She kept almost exactly two steps behind him, her raven hair swishing with her steps, the tips of her weapons gleaming in the sun. He wondered offhand how she chose such a difficult weapon in the first place. He'd seen the scars on her hands when she'd taken the scroll from him.

With time he might find out if things went well.

He stopped at his normal spot, an area where some of the wall still laid in chunks in the sand. Leaning against the one he always did, he glanced at the girl as she shifted from foot to foot, looking around. She was uneasy, and Gaara realized she probably had every right to be. Even if he hadn't been a killer years ago, being alone with the leader of your home would be a bit unsettling.

Slowly Gaara lifted a hand, making a snap choice and undoing the clasp on his vest. With one swift movement, his giant gourd was on the ground beside him, and he settled himself more firmly to the rock seat. Kira blinked, surprise clear on her face. She hadn't expected him to disarm, but Gaara was hoping it would show her he meant no ill will towards her.

After a long moment, she gave a small, uneasy smile. She walked to a small rock, sitting down on it, and then took her tonfas from their spot on her leg and set them down on the sand near her feet.

"This is…nice," she said softly, though the redhead couldn't tell if she meant it or not. Her eyes skated the ground as she spoke, never looking at him. It was a sign of submission, Gaara realized as she allowed her eyes to dart up to him for a moment, before moving back to the ground. He vaguely remembered ninja doing so around his father, remembered how much the former Kazekage had liked it. Gaara thought about having her look at him, but realized that might only cause distress, so shelved it for the time being.

"I come here often to think," Gaara replied. "It is normally deserted, like now. No one will hear us." He watched her nod slightly, a look of bewilderment crossing her face.

"What was it you wanted to speak of, Lord Gaara?" she asked after a moment, shifting on her seat and brushing off stray pebbles.

"You're friends with my brother," he stated, not sure how to go about starting this conversation. "The point you made weeks ago has continued to stay in my siblings' minds since then. " That was true, and it was how he came to this point, but the confusion on her face told him, he was making little sense. "Kankurō said I should consider my options, and that you were one of them," he explained finally.

Kira looked instantly flustered but gave another small nod. "I didn't mean to appoint myself, sir, it was just…" she trailed off, her eyes flickering up again. She ran a hand along the bottom of her blue shirt before seeming to find her words, and her nerve, once more. "Did you agree with him?"

"I have no way of knowing if you would be capable; aside from the missions you have done under my orders, there is little to no information regarding you." He didn't mean to sound forceful, but the words just came and Kira flinched slightly at the end. Gaara shook his head slightly, crossing his arms once more. "It would appear most of your files are either missing or do not exist," he explained, "Do you know why?"

She was quiet for a long time after that, almost frozen in time, even her hands had stopped fidgeting. A few emotions ran across her face, and Gaara saw the hint of anger and pain as it flitted through her amber eyes. Then, finally, she let out a long sigh as if she had been holding her breath. Maybe she had been. "Maybe," she said finally. "Your father…I mean, the fourth, he was rather careful about such things. Even more so when it came to the information of Ninja directly under his command."

"You worked under my father?" he repeated, confused. Though it was the duty of every Shinobi to follow their leader's command, normally the younger ones were left to their teachers. Then again, his father had ruled quite differently than Gaara himself.

"Yes…I had certain skills he found…useful," she muttered. "He didn't like me one bit, though, I knew that much, it was probably why he kept such a firm control over me." She sighed again, looking tired suddenly. "You didn't find anything, probably because you were looking for information under my name. He rarely used my name. Instead, like some of the other ninja in my…field, he gave us code names. Even then I'm not sure…he wrote anything down."

Gaara hesitated for a moment, but the words were out before he could stop them. "Why are you skirting the question?" That wasn't exactly right, he knew most likely she was having trouble talking about it because she'd been told – most likely by his father – not to speak up about it. "You aren't bound by any commands he gave you, not anymore."

"I know that," she said quickly, almost too quick as her tone become sharp like an animal lashing out. She winced and looked down once more, biting her lip. "I just…aren't there things about your past you'd rather not discuss? "

Gaara blinked, struck silent by the question. Flashes of past memories surfaced, anger and agony among them and in that moment, Gaara understood just what he was asking of her. It appeared his father's death had meant an amount of freedom she'd never had – much like him – and to bring it up again, all at once, might be too painful.

"You are right," he replied finally, earning a glance up at him, her startled eyes connecting with his for the first time. "I will not force you to talk, but, I would like you to answer me one question." He saw the visible tension in her face, but still she nodded her head, even as her arms crossed tightly across her chest, hands gripping her sides. The uneasiness and pain, it wasn't something he wanted her to remember him by. It was almost worse than having her fear him. Yet, he knew so little of the girl, and if he couldn't get her code name from her, then he needed to at least know one other thing. "What ninja did my father assign you to?"

She didn't seem surprised by his question, though her hands gripped her sides firmer at his words. She nodded half-heartedly once more before sighing, "I guess I owe you that much, no, more, but…" She bit her lip again, and Gaara raised a pale eyebrow. Owed him? He had never properly met the girl before her outburst, so how could he have done anything to make her feel as if she owed him anything? It was another question to add to the pile that was steadily growing. When she answered him finally, she didn't look to the ground, or past his shoulder, but rather met his gaze once more. "His name was Korin Esley."

Despite himself, Gaara felt his stomach drop at the name. Korin was not only been an older member of the ANBU and a friend of his father's, but he had been head of the Scorpion Section – a group Gaara had dismantled as soon as he'd come into power. The SS had been a section of the ANBU that was much like the Foundation in the Hidden Leaf, brutality and the stripping of emotions being two of the primary tactics that the two groups shared.

Her answer was exactly what the young ruler had hoped it wouldn't be.

"I wasn't…I never joined the SS," she whispered after a moment, and Gaara realized she must have seen something in his face. "He was just my trainer and I was often put through the same test members were but…once I completed training I was put on assignment."

Questions bubbled up into his throat, but Gaara swallowed them back down. Another time, he reasoned with himself. She'd said enough for him to figure out a lot of his building questions.

The submissive way she acted around him was probably a hangover from dealing directly with his father. Her reflexive shyness was a side effect of isolation and god knows what else. He could only guess at why she was so offset by someone touching her, but Gaara knew better than to ask. The Scorpion Section had been a rather well-hidden part of the ANBU, and while Gaara knew its facts on paper, he also knew much hadn't been written down. Those left of the SS were mentally twisted and deadly, having little care for human life.

They had made good killers, though, and that was what both his father and Esley had wanted.

It seemed somehow Kira hadn't fallen to whatever she was put through, though it had definitely left its damage. She was stronger than he had first thought.

"I see," he said finally, and then because he felt he should he added, "I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your fault," Kira said quickly as if she had seen his reply coming. "I'm just glad that such a places no longer exists." She was looking at the ground again, and Gaara simply frowned, wondering what he should say next. He had planned to ask her more, but now, he couldn't seem to find the words. Perhaps it was time he looked at this another way. His brother, after all, did seem to like her.

Things could be different now, with the One Tails gone.

Slowly, Gaara moved, taking up his sand filled gourd and shouldering it. "You should know you are welcome in my home." His words were even, truthful in every sense, even if he wasn't sure why he felt he needed to state it. "You are, after all, a Ninja of this village, and a friend of my brother's. Next time you visit, you needn't greet me so formally."

When he looked at her again – only now realizing he had been looking back in towards the city, watching the sun as it lowered in the sky – he found wide eyes looking back at him. He waited a moment, for her to let it sink in, before she blinked, coming back to her senses and using a hand to rub at her neck, eyes darting about.

"I…that is very good to know and…" Her skin colored suddenly, flushing as if sunburned. "I will remember that."

The redhead looked upon her for a moment more, before he nodded his head. "Until later then," was all he said, before turning and making his way back towards the village, leaving a surprised, but rather happy girl alone with her thoughts.

To any of those who were wondering, the name Scorpion Section or "SS" was intended to be a comparisons with the Schutzstaffel—or as they're more commonly known, the SS. They were an organization in the Nazi core. When the Leaf Foundation core was first introduced in the series that's all I could think of.

 


	5. Power

Ground. Scroll. Ground. Scroll.

Kira's eyes nearly rolled in her head as she glanced repeatedly from the old worn scroll in her hands to the image she'd tried to duplicate on the ground. Every Shinobi could draw simple sigils, but it had never been one of her strengths.

She couldn't even draw a straight line.

It had taken her over an hour, and her fingers were sore from where she had nearly rubbed them raw when scrubbing away her mistakes.

It was a good thing this was a one-time thing, or else Kira would have been doomed.

Either way, it was done. Well, mostly. All that was left was the final piece, and then all of that work would dissolve away. Kira felt her eye twitch at the thought. Nice! Settling back on her haunches, she rested her arms on her thighs and gave her work a nice, long look over. The complicated circle, swirls, and kanji spanned a two-foot radius, the only blank spot being a smaller empty circle for her hand.

Her eyes wandered over to the scroll now sitting on the ground, its worn, yellow edges nearly blending in with the color of the sandstone. She wasn't sure why she bothered to look at it. She'd spent the last two hours memorizing every inch of readable information left on it, and had been able to fill in some of the blanks. She hoped the rest wasn't too important.

She wished she'd invited Aya now; her friend and teammate was better than Kira ever could be at these things. She shook the thought from her head quick as it came. She needed to do this herself. This was her job, her challenge, and her opportunity.

She needed more options in battle, needed to be stronger so she could prove herself to Gaara, and this, if it worked, would do just that. Thinking about the red haired leader instantly brought back every thought she'd been having for the past two days, ever since he'd spoken to her.

She still couldn't believe she'd been able to say all that; her past had been locked away such a long time ago. He'd taken the information well, though that didn't surprise Kira in the least. There was so much more, though, and she wondered, if he ever found out, how he would react to just what his father had been doing, what he'd had her trained for.

At some point, the truth would have to come out. It would need to if Gaara were to ever really trust her.

"Small steps," Kira muttered to herself, shaking the thoughts away for now. Thinking too far ahead like that would get her nowhere; there were too many things that could change. Slipping a kunai from a pouch at her waist she flipped the handle around in her hand and easily sliced open the pad of her left thumb. Wincing slightly she quickly dabbed the freshly surfacing blood onto each finger of her left hand, making bloody fingerprints.

It didn't hurt as much as she had thought, though she was sure she'd still wince every time she saw Aya bite her own thumb to summon her friend. Biting seemed so much more brutal.

Taking a deep breath she turned her attention to the circle once more and then quickly gathered chakra into her hands before shifting them into the pattern of signs she'd memorized from the scroll. When she finished the final hand seal, she slammed her left hand into the open space of the summoning rune with more force than was needed.

"Summon Justu, Earth Familiar Bonding Ritual!"

There was no smoke, no brilliant light like what came when she watched other ninja summon ninja animals, not even a bit of steam rose from the ground. Kira waited, and waited, staring at her own hand and the lines around it not sure what to do.

Had it failed then? The scroll had said the spirits didn't always take to the person, but she had been so sure… Sighing, Kira slowly and dejectedly pulled her hand away, rubbing at her sore thumb.

She would try again, she thought, moving to stand so she could retrieve more water to start over. It was when she stood, beginning to turn away, that she heard the small tittering of laughter. There were two voices, high, yet different and very, very close to her.

"Oh look, she's going to try again! Such spirit she has, don't you think sister?"

"Yes, yes! Worn rough and built strong!"

Spinning on her feet Kira turned back around, her kunai once again in hand, pointed outward this time. What she found left her staring in quiet wonder, the knife in her hand barely staying in place.

As she stared, the markings she had drawn on the ground, along with her red fingerprints, dissolved away as if the stone were a sponge. Above where it had been, seeming to float in the way only fireflies could, were two small lights, no bigger than her palm. One was a dark green while the other a pale, golden yellow much like Kira's own eyes. They bobbed to and fro in the space where the circle had been, missing one another by a hair's breath.

"I...did it?" she asked warily, eyeing the lights as if they were paper bombs.

"Yes, yes! You have done it, little human." The yellow one pulsed, the light brightening, and Kira saw that it blinked with every syllable that came from its nonexistent mouth.

"With your blood, you called to us, and it sang so sweetly to us, so now we are here," the green one continued.

"We are bound to you," both said in unison, and Kira could only blink with wide eyes. This wasn't at all what she had thought they would look like.

"You're the…earth spirits?" she muttered, not wanting to offend them.

"Good, good, you're catching on," crooned the yellow light, and Kira would have thought it was teasing her except the tone only held a bright joy to it, like a small radiant sun.

"But you're just….lights?" Kira tested and saw the green one bob again, weaving around its sister light easily.

"Did you not read the scroll?" it asked and Kira glanced down at the old roll of paper.

"I read what I could. I'm afraid some of the information has been lost. " She hadn't realized how sad that made her until she spoke the words. So much knowledge was lost over time, forgotten when it should not have been. The green spirit made a huffing sound, her light flaring up with it, before quieting once more.

"Spirits do not have forms as other summons do, at least not the first time we meet. It is why we have a bonding ritual. Then we conform to the shape seen in our partner's soul and the earth makes it for us," it explained. "Next time you summon us, we shall be in that form, Kira."

"You know my name?"

" Yes, your blood has shown us all," it replied, and that made the ANBU grimace. Great, well that was comforting. Kira found her eyes on the yellow one as it bounced about. It seemed much like her friend Aya, full of energy and always moving. If they knew everything, then at least that saved them a long awkward round of introductions.

"What are your names then?" she asked finally, her eyes shifting from one to the other. "I can call you whatever you prefer."

"I am known as Ryoko," the green light said, bobbing slowly up and down.

"And I am Ru!" the yellow one chirped. Absently Kira nodded her head. She would remember that. Taking in a deep breath, she blew it out slowly. She'd done it, now came the rest. There was just the small problem that she had no clue what 'the rest ' was. That part of the scroll had been nothing but curling, yellowing paper. The ink was gone, along with any information that had to do with what happened after the summoning.

She'd have to figure it out; having a pact with orbs of light wouldn't do much good. Though they had said they would change…how though she didn't understand.

Mind buzzing she resisted the need to groan and ruffle her hair in annoyance.

Small steps, she reminded herself. Small steps.

She eyed the dancing green and yellow fireflies before stepping forward and carefully, as to not startle them – if they could be startled – and raised her hands. She reached out, each hand moving to hover under one of the 'sisters'. Then she curled her fingers slightly and felt the warmth of a summer day on the pads of them. Curiously, she slowly moved her hands and found the lights moved with them. The yellow one, Ru, giggled, and she stilled her hands once more with a start. She once again hoped what Ryoko had said was true. Talking, giggling, lights. That would take some getting use to.

Smiling sheepishly Kira stepped into the area where her summon circle had been and took in another deep breath.

"So, what's next?"

…

When Gaara had finished up early at the meeting and made his way home, he'd expected the house to be empty. His siblings had been released from duty earlier because of the meeting and quite often they were off elsewhere during the day. Kankurō was more than likely with Kira because her team was off today as well if he remembered right anyway.

All this considered the Kazekage prepared himself for a quite afternoon as he entered his family's quarters. It was to his surprise that upon entering the main room he found a girl lounging on the sofa, eyes closed, humming quietly to herself. Surprise echoed through him as his mind picked out her features and came up with a name. Long blond hair in two ponytails, tanned skin and a long green ninja dress with mesh armor down the sides. Aya Shinto, a member of the ANBU, was almost as young as Kira and was also on her team. From what he could remember, she'd been picked up by the ANBU for her exceptional skills in sealing.

But why was she in his home?

"Temari come on!" the blond shouted from her spot, not even opening her eyes as she sat up and turned, planting her feet on the ground. Upon hearing the distant muffled reply of his sister, she blinked, her eyes opening and finding the redhead as he stood there, still bewildered by the entire scene. She bowed her head in respect but didn't bother to stand. "Welcome home Lord Gaara."

Gaara nodded, realizing that his sister must know the girl. It made him realize he really didn't know much about his siblings' personal lives. He'd never really met either of their friends until recently and while he knew his siblings well, he couldn't say he knew what they did in their spare time except that they were hardly ever home.

Being the leader of a village, he tried to pay attention to the whole of it, but details, like the people and their lives, had slipped through the cracks. He should try to get better at that, he thought, just as hurried footsteps made their way towards him. Temari appeared moments later, her gear on and her giant fan strapped to her back. She gave him a smile when she saw him and Aya stood to greet her.

"Hey, Gaara."

"Temari. What are you doing?" the redhead asked, mentally flipping through reasons for her attire. Given that Aya was in gear too, he had a few solid ideas.

"Aya invited Kankurō and me to spar with her team. Where is our brother anyway?" she asked, half grumbling the second part and glancing around the room as if she expected him to appear on her command. Aya giggled, placing a hand in front of her mouth to muffle it.

"He left a little while ago. As soon as I told him I left Kira and Sensei sparring together in fact." Another giggle passed her lips and Gaara raised a pale eyebrow. This girl was nothing at all like Kira, and it made him wonder how well they got along. He assumed well as he'd seen them together in passing before, but he might have been wrong.

"Why do you call him that?" Temari asked smiling. " Shura never seemed like one to put up with nicknames."

"Well, we don't call him that when he'd hear, but he does act like our teacher quite often. Given the age difference, it just kind of fits," Aya answered and Gaara's sister nodded her head. That was true. Gaara remembered thinking it was odd when Shura had requested to be a team leader to two young girls, but at the time had been too busy to really think too much on it. Perhaps the older man had thought they would need guidance in the coming years.

If Shura had known about Kira's training under Korin, it could be assumed he knew why Kira had been training in such a manner. Whether that small bit of information would be of any use, Gaara didn't know, but he hoped the girl would simply, over time, just tell him. Going behind people's backs wasn't the best way to gain someone's trust.

"Gaara?" His sister voice snapped him back to the present and he looked at her in silent question like he did so often. She raised a brow and smirked. "You want to come along? I'm sure they wouldn't mind," she asked turning her gaze to Aya.

The ANBU member shrugged her shoulders. "We're just sparing in the normal training grounds, not like we can tell people to leave."

At first, the redhead wasn't sure how to answer that. It was true he didn't really have any plans other than to check on the cacti growing in the greenhouse, but Gaara had never really sparred with anyone. His style of fighting didn't incorporate sparring with others much. Now as Kazekage, being seen doing such a thing seemed somehow impossible. No one wanted to spar with their leader and risk hurting them; it was an unspoken taboo. He was curious, though. Most ANBU didn't train in groups together, and even less in public places. Of course, not many people knew they were ANBU either, only higher ranked ninja.

"I will watch," he said finally, and his sister grinned. He'd had a feeling she wanted to show off. Aya smiled, nodding and then started walking, passing him easily without so much as hesitating. His sister followed after her and a moment later, Gaara fell in beside her, crossing his arms loosely over his vest.

The trek to the outdoor training area was quiet, and Gaara easily surveyed the village as they moved towards the overhang of sandstone, the training place under its cover to help with the heat of the sun. A few people bowed or waved in greeting, to which he simply nodded his head. It still amazed him how the people had accepted him so fast. It had gotten even easier once Shikaku was gone, and he often wondered on whether that was a good thing or not. In the end, it really didn't matter.

He heard the sounds of battle before they arrived. The clanking of metal and the ruff sound of shoes scuffing against the stone. He also picked up on his brother's voice, but it was muffled into noise by the wind. Once under the shadow of the overhang the three of them stopped and took in the scene around them. There were several ninja out training today, many of them still in the academy or on newly formed teams. The targets were being used by some, but for the most part, they stood along the edges, watching or speaking as the center sparring ring was used.

They moved as if the entire encounter was planned, a stage act instead of a sparring match. Shura was taller then Kira by far, at least two heads more. He wore normal sand ninja armor, tan and white, with his headband tied tightly around his forehead, the silver metal gleaming in the threads of light peaking around the stone overhang. His hair was black just like his opponent's, and his signature veil mask laid against his face, hanging past his chin and hiding everything from ear to ear. The black metal staff in his hands moved swiftly, raising up to block a downward cut from a tonfa in his younger teammate's hand.

Kira's other weapon was moving moments later, swinging out from the side, her braided and tailed hair swinging with the jerk from her shoulder. Metal rang in the air again as her team leader blocked once more, the thin hidden blade on the tonfa scraping along the staff before she drew back and jumped a foot away. Her pale skin was wet from what Gaara could see, and parts of the sky blue fabric of her gear darker. They had been at this a while then.

He watched as her stance changed and she flipped one of her weapons around, letting go of the lever on the handle that kept the blade out and turning the long end around so quickly it left an afterimage of a circle. She raised the arm – tonfa firmly laid against it – just in time for Shura's staff to hit it.

Gaara watched with a calmness that came from years of training, much like his sister and every other shinobi that watched the pair with calculating expressions, rather than ones of excitement or wonder like the freshly graduated genin. For the trained eye it was easy to see that this was no act, nor was it simply training. They were trying to hit each other and not with soft blows, but with the full force of the attack behind it. He watched as Kira swung her free tonfa, spinning it to the position of the other one and punching forward. Shura moved his staff, skillfully still pinning her other hand and using the opposite to block the butt end of her attack.

Quick as a whip the raven haired girl dropped both her arms and at the same moment she jerked a leg up, smashing the top of her thigh into the bottom of Shura's weapon. The staff shuddered and his arms raised slightly, recoiling from the blow, but the older man quickly angled one end out, striking Kira's bare upper arm, just as she straightened her raised leg and drove it into her leader's stomach.

The redhead blinked, everything happening in an instant as Shura staggered backward, barely catching himself. He could see Kira's face twist into a wince as she dropped one tonfa and touched her reddening arm.

Just like that, the match was over.

He was slightly surprised, pleased maybe to see such strength in his people.. Kankurō had said when he had first met her, Kira had been less than promising in Taijutsu. Now though, because of her weapon choice, it appeared she had steadily improved to become excelled at it so that she could use them.

"Ouch…" Her quiet mutter hardly reached his ears as she rubbed the skin.

"Nice one, Kira! Hey, you alright?" Kankurō's voice echoed as he pushed past two younger students. Gaara blinked, suddenly remembering that his brother had been there the whole time; the redhead had just never spotted him, only heard him. The puppet master moved to Kira's side as Gaara watched, and peered down at her with a grin. She narrowed her eyes at him, and even though the height difference was rather clear, she didn't shy away from him as his brother leaned closer, saying something he couldn't hear over the wind.

"Kankurō, don't tease her!" Temari snapped from Gaara's side and he followed her with his gaze as she stalked forward, assuming the worst in their sibling as always. His brother took a small step back and raised his hands in front of him, denying any such thing. He caught Kira's small smile at the scene; and then she looked to the side and her eyes widened when she saw him. She looked at him for only a moment, blinking twice before hastily looking away and bending down to retrieve her fallen weapon.

Gaara wondered if she'd ever look at him with the same eyes she gave his brother – ones that weren't averted from years of rules Esley and his father had drilled into her.

"Hey, Lord Gaara?" Aya's voice startled him slightly, mostly because the young leader had forgotten she was still standing next to him. He'd thought she would have moved to her teammates by now, but she hadn't. Instead, her eyes simply flickered over her leader before moving to Kira. When she nodded at the raven-haired girl and smiled, Gaara looked that way as well. "I know she's not very good about looking people in the eyes," she started, watching as his brother tried to hide from his sister, behind Kira. "And she fidgets way too much." Kira quickly stepped to the side and walked over to Shura, leaving Gaara's family to themselves. Kankurō grumbled at her for being a traitor. "But you won't meet another person who wants to protect their home as much as she does."

Gaara nodded slightly, looking at the blond again. "I'm aware."

"Are you?" she retorted quietly, looking Gaara in the eyes before appearing to think better of whatever else she might have said. "Forgive me, my Lord, that was…" She frowned for the first time and Gaara let out a small sigh.

"It is fine," he assured her. After all, it may have been overstepping, but at least she was doing it for the right reasons. She gave a small nod and without another word, left to join her teammates.

Gaara watched her go, and he wondered if it really did look like he didn't trust Kira. He supposed it might have, seeing as he surveyed her from a distance. Had she told her teammate about their conversation? It seemed like a likely reason for the blond to feel the need to say something, but Kira - from what he had seen - didn't seem like someone who would tell others about private conversations.

As those present began to disperse, seeing as the attraction had stopped for the moment, Gaara watched from between passing people as Aya arrived at her teammates' sides and quickly jumped the raven haired girl, encircling her arms around her and peering at the spot on Kira's arm where she'd been hit. He watched Kira stiffen at the action, but then she relaxed saying something that was lost over the distance. Aya answered her, and looked at their leader where Shura gestured to where Kira had kicked him.

Shaking his head, Gaara turned and walked towards his siblings. Now that he saw them together, his earlier comment seemed strangely wrong. He wasn't sure why, but they worked well together. Stepping next to Kankurō, Gaara pushed those thoughts away and tried to figure out what his family was talking about.

"-did you want to spar with?" Temari was asking and Kankurō scratched his head before shrugging.

"Don't really care. I was going to see if Kira wanted to, but after that, I think maybe a break is in order for those two. Had no idea they'd be so intense."

"They are ANBU," his sister pointed out, staring at Kira's arm and rubbing her own sympathetically.

"Yeah, yeah," Kankurō grumbled back. If anything, at least his siblings were predictable. Letting their conversation run over him, the redhead turned to look around the training grounds again. Everyone had gone back to training for the most part. Team Fukurō was still bunched up off to the side talking. A pair of boys just a little ways further off – from the lack of headbands he guessed they were still in training – were talking animatedly over by the target range, one holding what looked like an oddly shaped kunai.

Their body positions told him the one with the weapon was bragging while the other looked at him in annoyance. As he watched idly, his siblings spoke to each other, their conversation a low murmur in the back of his mind. Something prickled at the back of his neck as he watched the first boy toss his kunai up and catch it.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

On the forth one his friend got annoyed and tried to take it from him, making the first one throw it too high. It wasn't 'till he saw the weapon fully for more than a few seconds in the air that he realized what was different. There was a paper bomb wound around it, like so many ninja in combat used.

Except this was not a mission, and it was not air that the weapon flew into.

It was the ceiling.

The area around the knife exploded, sandstone cracking and breaking apart just as aggressively. There were gasps and shouts around him, but Gaara was already willing the nearby sand to life. The two boys, shell shocked by the event, stood there frozen as rock descended on them.

"Oh shit!" Kankurō snapped and his sister echoed his words. Sand rushed forward at Gaara's command, but the chunks of rock were already falling across the grounds and sand could only move so fast.

He wouldn't make it.

He blinked for just a moment and she was there. From out of nowhere, darkness seemed to birth her and Kira lunged forward. Something was different about her; her colors looked muted and she seemed somehow darker than the two genin she was rushing towards. Her arms hooked both boys by the torso and with one final last moment of effort, threw both of them feet away. They rolled and Kira fell on her hurt arm. That was all Gaara saw before the rubble hit and dust and sand blotted out the light. 


	6. Status

Dust and sand coated Kira's throat. Her eyes burned and teared up to try and clear them as she coughed, spitting out gritty, nasty tasting saliva. From where she laid face down in dirt, forehead and nose pressed firmly to the ground, she heard similar coughing on either side of her. Stupid kids. If she hadn't been feet away, if she hadn't been distracted from her conversation with her team by the glint of that knife...

She retched, coughing and spitting again as she pushed herself up, sitting on her legs. The dust was settling, and she rubbed at her eyes, brushing the dirt off of her face. She could hear shouting now, hurried footsteps. It had hardly been more then a minute since her risky action, one Kira knew she'd do again in a heartbeat.

People appeared from all sides, different expressions of worry, anxiety and anger on their faces. Shura reached her first. Crouching next to her, he put a hand on her shoulder to steady her. She hadn't realized she'd been shivering. Not from the cold or from fear, just a side effect of adrenalin and using so much chakra so quickly.

Kira saw Aya crouching next to one of the boys – the one with sandy colored hair, the one who'd had the knife – and sat him up, checking him over. The sand siblings were next, coming up behind her, Kankuro going to the other boy. She could feel Gaara's eyes on her, but she didn't turn. Her ears were still ringing slightly.

"You alright Kira?" Shura asked reaching out and in a rare moment of compassion he rarely showed, brushed her hair out of her face. She hadn't even realized it had come undone. "There's a cut on your cheek."

Kira nodded slightly, the sting she felt on her face now confirming that fact. She quickly checked the rest of herself, clenching and flexing each muscle and joint. She winced slightly, looking at the arm where she'd been hit while sparing. She landed on the thing too, just her luck.

Her upper arm was red and swelling slightly, the darkening shades of a deep bruise forming. She could already tell this one would be a purple and blue one at the very least. In the end though a scratch on her cheek and a sore arm wasn't much.

"Quick thinking Kira," Kankurō said with a small sigh before looking at the two boys. Kira copied the action. They were as dirty as she must have been, both still rubbing at stinging eyes and newly forming bruises. She didn't see any blood though; she'd been farther back then them as she'd basically thrown them forward, so it appeared they were mostly alright. That was until Kankurō hit them both soundly on the head. "Idiots! Where'd you get that bomb anyway?"

Kira let out another low breath and looked down for a moment. She could feel eyes on her now, though the boys and her puppet master friend took most of the attention. She knew to the carefully trained eye she looked off. The training ground stood mostly in shadow, and as normal everyone in them appeared shaded, but as she looked at her lap and her hand Kira knew the difference from that to her.

Shaded she was, but her entire being was darker still, as if wrapped in a veil of see through black gauze. Even her clothes, her pale skin, her bright yellow eyes were darker then they should have been. It gave her an eerie look, one her teammates were used to, one Kankurō had seen before. Everyone else though…

For the first time she turned her head to glance at the young ruler. Gaara was practically staring her down with barely concealed confusion and shock. His eyes were on her hand, the one still on the ground, still touching the cast of a shadow. The edges of her skin seemed to blend perfectly into the darkness, as if eaten up by it. She swallowed, dread making her limb heavy before she pulled her hand up and formed a common hand sign, whispering 'release'. Justu broken, Kira watched with knowing eyes as the veil on her body quickly dissipated, sinking into the shadows around her, waiting for her to need them again.

She had a lot of explaining to do now, and Shura's knowing pat on her shoulder told her he'd seen it to. Glancing at Gaara again she gave him a small, worried smile and nodded her head. He blinked before returning the jerky movement with a smoother version and moving his attention back to his brother. Kira would find him later, once things had settled down. If she didn't – and really she didn't want to – she knew he'd come find her.

"We should get you cleaned up Kira." Aya appeared beside her and held out a hand. "Lets go to the bath house, we haven't been in a while." Kira nodded her head slowly, feeling the grime on her even more now that it was pointed out. There was sand in places there should never be sand. She took the hand and got to her feet. Glancing around once more, she wondered if she should stay, but the tug on her hand got her feet moving. With a fleeting glance at the Kazekage, Kira left the shadow of the training ground. "Don't worry," Aya muttered once they were further off. "I'm sure it won't be half as bad as you think."

Kira was too worried to really think about how her friend always knew what she was thinking. It was one of the reasons Aya was a good Shinobi, as well as a good friend.

The bath didn't take nearly long enough, and the sense of urgency kept her mind buzzing the entire time even as the hot steaming water threatened to send her to sleep. It was all to soon that her blond friend was gone, and Kira was left to climb the tower up to the roof where a guard had directed her. Gaara was waiting for her.

The roof was a familiar place to her, she'd spent countless night there, watching, waiting – doing her job. It was one of the highest points in the village after all, the perfect place to watch over it from. That was how she found him too, as she stepped onto the roof, the trap door closing with a snap. He was facing the village, feet planted on the edge of the building, arms firmly crossed as he looking over what he was sworn to protect. It was oddly breath taking for Kira at that moment. Gaara looked a great deal like some avenging hero of old.

By the time she was standing straight again, her hands running over the front of her gear, Gaara had turned to look at her. She froze for a long moment, caught in that piercing, burning green gaze. She didn't know how this was going to go. Didn't even know how to go about starting. What should she say? A hello hardly seemed appropriate or needed. He knew why she was here.

When she finally tore her gaze away, her eyes landed on her feet, hands itching, twitching for something to hold or do but her weapons and string were at home. The silence stretched on, even after Gaara had stepped off of the lip of the roof and fully turned to look at her. The harsh northern wind kicked up, catching her newly fixed hair, tugging at her scalp.

"I presume you want answers for what you saw today?" She choked the words out, knowing it would be better to get it over with then to stand there waiting. She'd known this day would come, she'd told him she would tell him more, but she hadn't expected it to come so soon.

"What are you afraid of?" he asked her quietly, and it surprised her that those were the first words for him to speak. She expected him to be angry, maybe demanding, but when she glanced up at him she didn't see the pity or annoyance she had been expecting for her sudden tightly clasped lips and cold sweat. She saw concern in his sea green eyes, though the rest of his face was carefully blank. She pressed her lips together again, eyes on the ground once more. She traced a crack in the stone's surface, considering his question carefully.

There were many reasons to be afraid of telling him the truth, many consequences to her answers. Loosing her rank, being stripped of her job as a ninja, being told to leave the sand village. She winced slightly at the last one, thinking about the punishments Korin Esley had used on her when she'd done something wrong. She had plenty of things to be scared of, but in the end it came down to one thing.

"That I'll loose the chance to be your friend. That once you hear this, you'll want nothing to do with me." It defied all logic; surely loosing her home should scare her more. Her eyes flickered up again and surprise lit his face, breaking the careful blankness. She reeled, her next words coming out in a suddenly rush of anxiety. "I mean, at least that's what I thought we were. You told me to call you by just your name, and normally that would mean you want to be friends, but if that's not the case, I'm sorry. It's fine if you don't..." She trailed off, suddenly out of air and gulped down another breath.

"No." It wasn't a rejection; his tone sounded confused, almost bewildered and though Kira would have rather kept looking at the ground, curiosity tugged at her so sharply it felt like it physically tugged her chin up and moved her eyes back to the redhead. His face matched the tone of his voice, pale brows pulled together over almost glowing eyes that seemed to bore into her soul every time she looked at him. It looked as if he were trying to finish the last part of a puzzle, so when he spoke his answer, it startled her. "I prefer to be called by my name, but only Naruto has ever referred to me as a...friend." It was a sad reminder of what Kira had already observed herself, one that made her wince internally.

She cleared her throat. "Well I could be one, if you still want to after this is over." It felt awkward, having to talk about it in such a way. She'd never had to announce such a connection, Kankuro and Aya had just...started being there.

"I would like that," he said suddenly, talking a few steps towards her to stand next to her. "I doubt what ever it is my father had you do would change that."

"That's because you don't know yet," Kira whispered.

"Then tell me." It wasn't an order, more like a request, or the answer to her fears. There was only really one way to find out if they would be true or not. She took in another long breath.

"Alright." She just had to figure out where to start. The beginning? No, Gaara already knew that, he knew how she came to live here, knew who had trained her.

"How does it work?" Gaara spoke, either tired of waiting or seeing that she was struggling to start. "Your ability? It didn't look like a Kekki Genki, but from what I've seen, it doesn't seem to be anything else either."

"Honestly? I don't know what it is. I only know it is a form of earth chakra because that's my chakra type." She eyed the ground again, toying with the empty holster for her tonfa on her leg. "It's just something I can do, like how your sand moves on its own to shield you. If I'm scared or I panic and I'm touching a shadow it swallows me up. I end up somewhere else, normal in the same area just a different spot. It doesn't happen too often now that I know how to use it. I can hide in them too, as I'm sure you've heard. " Kira use to tell Kankurō about it when they were younger. About the world inside of a shadow, about the window that each one created. It was hard to explain that place, like everything was a photo negative except for the bright patches of color where shadows cut into the world. "The ability to completely disappear, not even leaving any scent or chakra behind, I call it 'Shadow Shift', I don't know what the real name is, I'm sure is has one. That's why your father wanted me. It's the only reason I got to live here."

There was a long stretch of silence after that. She could only guess that he was trying to puzzle out her tone. Her feelings towards the former Kazekage were mixed, one part loathing, one part sadness, and a very small part of gratitude. She was sure her tone had relayed all of that rather clearly; she'd never been very good at keeping the inflection from her voice.

"What missions did he send you on if you weren't on a team?" Gaara questioned and Kira shook her head.

"No missions. I had never left the village until around the time of the Chunin exams you went to. I don't think your father wanted to risk anyone finding out about me." She had been one of the former Kazekage's prized weapons, a secret to use against an enemy if the time had come. There was silence again and Kira shifted restlessly, moving to tug at her hair. Just a few more words and she was sure Gaara would figure it out.

"Were you one of his guards?" His words surprised her. She hadn't thought that would be his guess. She almost smiled at the idea of that; surely she would have hated that even more.

"Not quite. I was a guard of sorts, but I was looking after someone I'm pretty sure he thought was more important. Someone who needed a guard to keep people away from him instead keeping a that person safe per say... "

She looked up, still tugging at her ponytail and saw on his face that he was rather quickly putting together the pieces. A girl with the ability to disappear into shadows without a trace, confined to the village to guard someone more valuable then his father.

"Me," he said finally, not confused, merely surprised. He must have seen something on Kira's face that confirmed it, though she had been trying to keep her expression blank. "You were guarding me." At his statement, Kira could only nod in a jerky motion, her hand dropping from her hair to hang at her side. This was the beginning of the end, she thought, and waiting quietly, staring out over the city, for him to turn his back on her.

…

It was that moment in time when everything fell into place and for better or for worse he was stuck with what he knew. Gaara could see now why so many things had confused him about this girl, including the incident that had first introduced them. Staring at her now – her face down cast, eyes locked on the ground, hands limp at her sides – it was like Gaara could see straight into his father's mind.

Some how he'd found out Kira's ability and it hadn't taken him long to realize her potential. He'd let her stay only because she was useful and only on the condition that she was put into the academy. Then upon graduation he'd put his plan into motion, using one of his closest generals to strip her down bare and build her back up as his tool.

Once she'd proven she could master her talent, his father had put her to work. He gave her ANBU status so no one would wonder where she was or why she was never around. He isolated her so firmly that all she could do was what she was told. She'd been his guard, kept as many people as she could from him. Some part of him had wondered why so many of the threats and confrontations had stopped after he'd graduated from the academy, but at the time he hadn't cared to know. In a way, she had been more of a bodyguard for the village then for him.

A knot formed some where between his chest and his gut at the truth that lay out before him. She had seen everything he'd done in the village in those years. How was she even standing there now, unguarded and so trusting?

"How long?" he said finally. "How long did you… guard me?"

She seemed surprised that he had asked the question, her eyes flickering up for a moment before looking back down. After what seemed to be a moment of thought, she took the needed steps forward, past him and sat down on the lip of the tower. One leg pulled up to her chest, she rested her chin on her knee and looked out over the city much like he had been minutes ago. Much like she must have done he realized, for a long time as he had lived here, in this building all his life.

"From a few months before you were put on a team, up until the fourth was killed, maybe a little after… as for times of day, it was random at first. It wasn't till the fourth learned that no one would approach your team that he let the times when you were all together be my time off. So… a lot of nights, normally till mid afternoon the following day." She scratched at the ground with a nail, catching a loose pebble and rolling it on the ground idly as she spoke. "It was… tiring. Often I came home and would just sleep till I had to get back on duty. Mother worried a lot."

She was able to speak with less panic when she was simply retelling something, Gaara noted, and not having to look at anyone seemed to help a great deal too. Still the knot in his body only tightened. All of those hours… had she known nothing else?

"Your weren't allowed to leave." He recalled thinking of her earlier words. She shook her head, back hair whipping around her.

"No. When you were on missions, I normally was put back on regiment training with Esley. Some times I got breaks, once I was better… trained."

Gaara clenched his jaw, once again reminded how in depth his father could be. For the first time it was Gaara's turn to look away, even if her back was to him. "What you saw, when I was in the village…" he ventured, the need to know both consuming and painful. She took in a low breath and he heard it blow back out before she spoke again. She knew what he was asking.

"What I saw… horrified me a first," she whispered. "I remember the first time I messed up, not long after I stared. I fell asleep and a group of ranked shinobi approached you. I woke up to them screaming in agony and to…" She trailed off and Gaara couldn't quiet recall the incident. There had been so many people he had killed senselessly he'd never even given it a thought. They were in his way, they bothered him, tried to hurt him, and so he hurt back. Only he didn't stop there, not till Naruto.

Gaara's jaw ached, guilt and dread curling around the knot, making it worse. So why was it that she was there, this girl that had seen him do those things. Why would she so easily turn her back to him? "You didn't ask for reassignment?"

"I did," she replied quickly, a hint of sadness in her tone. "I nearly begged, I was so frightened, so scared that some how you'd find me. I didn't want to die, but your father didn't budge, and Esley saw my plea as weakness." Kira bit her lip and sighed again. "I didn't have much of a choice in the end, so I kept watching, submitting my reports, cutting people off from your path. No matter how young I was, most listened to an ANBU mask."

"Yes." Gaara agreed off hand, far to distracted for the moment. He didn't understand why she was so calm about this, of all things. Slowly, he took a step toward her. "Your story doesn't add up to your actions now." It was possible she was lying, but that made little sense. He wanted to believe she had some reason for staying, but how could he when he thought about everything he'd done?

"I guess it doesn't." She sighed again, as if tired of her own story. "From what you've heard, I can only guess you think I should hate you, that I should fear you, but I don't."

"Explain." Gaara tried to make it sound like a request, but he knew it was an order. He had wanted to go about this differently, to gain her trust enough so that she would tell him things piece by piece. He wanted to know this piece though, almost needed to in order to understand. He didn't want her to decline his request, and that was why his voice came out a bit more forceful than he intended.

Kira was quiet for a time, her eyes now on the slowly setting sun. Its light outlined her form in reddish gold, making the vivid bruise on her arm even more apparent now. It wasn't red anymore, but a dark angry purple dotted with blues and dark greens. He wondered how much of that had been caused by the first blow and how much from her falling on it to save those boys.

"I saw… a lot of horrible things," she began finally. "But not all of them were caused by you." She shifted turning her head to glance back at him for a moment, and smiled slightly. "It wasn't till I had gone back after trying to get out of the job that I really took to it. I didn't just watch, I listened and I thought. I did a lot of thinking, since it was the only thing I could do in the shadows. I heard the whispers, the looks people gave you when you were out of sight. It reminded me of myself, the whispers they had given me, and then it reminded me that none of it had ever been your fault."

Her eyes had trailed back to the ground again, her head still cocked to the side as the young ruler stared at her in bewilderment. Not his fault? "I'm not sure I understand," he said finally. It felt like he was missing something, or a piece of her story was missing, something.

"I mean what I said," she answered, a smile tugging at her lips again. "I knew the stories of course, I'd been given your file, but a lot of it was bare bones, so I had asked my mom. She told me more. It was just that I hadn't made the connection, not till then." Slowly, she lifted a hand and rested it behind her, letting go of her knee. "You were born into this world that way and for that you were shunned and hurt and left alone. I started thinking about how it didn't add up. You hadn't asked for any of it. It wasn't fair. I felt… guilty. How could I fear someone who had probably never wanted that in the first place, but the world had taken the choice away from?" She shook her head, hair flying about again.

"They had their reasons," Gaara said after a moment. After all, it had been done with good intentions, but the one tails was anything but tamable. She frowned looking intently at the ground.

"That was their reasoning for me too, you know. I'm supposed to be some secret weapon. At least I was. I don't know about now, but that's … It shouldn't have mattered either way. I knew I could do nothing anyway, it was already too late to try and fix things myself, so I watched and waited and did my job, hoping things would change." When she looked up at him again, Gaara saw the smile that had lingered at the edges of her mouth finally form. "And they did, didn't they?"

His mouth went dry, and for a moment he couldn't find any words. If what she had was true, then she was one of the only people that had truly accepted him, even before becoming Kazekage. Slowly, he shook his head trying to clear it.

He recalled her early statements, the ones about him turning from her because of all of this. It was unnerving, he admitted to himself, but how could he turn from her when she'd stood behind him even back then? Granted she'd been under orders, but there had been a span of time between his father's and Esley's deaths, and the reformation of ANBU groups, almost a year's worth of time.

All of this, the pieces that now fit into one whole picture, solved the question for the reasoning of her out burst over a month ago. If it had been her job to watch over him for years and then she had been gone during the one battle Gaara had lost... When he looked to Kira again, she was facing the sky once more. It was a fading red now, the sun all but gone behind the dunes of the land he ruled. Slowly he took the needed steps to stand a few feet to her left and loosely cross his arms.

"Thank you for telling me," he said finally, keeping his eyes off of her because he knew it only made her more nervous. Maybe one day that wouldn't be the case, but for now he'd just do what he could to maintain the trust and the faith she'd so clearly put in him.

"What are friend for?" Kira said quietly, as if testing the waters, and Gaara realized she was wondering where they must have stood now. He didn't say anything for a while, contemplating everything that had happened that day. Aya's words echoed in his mind: _Do you?_ She'd been asking if he really understood how much Kira cared about this village and what she would do to protect it. He thought of the boys, the same ones Gaara realized now, that had nearly knocked Kira's foster mother over in the streets that one time. She couldn't have liked them much, and between her actions and what she had told him today, he was starting to realize just what the blond ANBU had meant. Slowly, the knot in his chest unraveled into nothing.

"Yes," he replied finally. "Friends." Though the word sounded foreign on his lips, Gaara found it pleasing all the same. He felt the girl's eyes flicker to him, felt her stare in shock, but he didn't turn is gaze to her. Instead he kept a close watch on the vibrantly changing sky, where they stayed till the stars took their place in an endless night.


	7. Friends

The once steaming bath of healing herbs had long since cooled to a degree only slightly warmer then herself as Kira lazily stayed planted in the deep tub, everything below her nose submerged. Her skin tingled, the pleasant sting of cuts and deep burses being cleansed and encouraged to heal faster then they might have on their own.

Her mother always did this, always had a bath ready for her when Kira came home from long, draining missions. She had accepted her adopted daughter's fated life as a Shinobi, but she had stubbornly told Kira once that didn't stop her from taking care of her, even if she was quiet capable of doing it herself.

So when Kira had arrived home late from a weeklong mission with her ANBU team out in the Land of Grass, covered in small cuts from a wind user, her mother – old and cane bound as she was – got to work. Soon the water had been heated and the mixture of herbs her mother kept in stock was mixed within. She'd left Kira to herself after that, patting her on the arm and giving her a knowing smile, a smile that Kira knew meant her mother was glad she was home safely.

That had been a little over an hour ago and Kira knew her mother was long in bed. Blowing bubbles into the water she watched idly as her hair floated around her in the water like moss. She should get out, get some sleep, she thought with a frown. She couldn't, or rather knew it wouldn't work. While her muscles lagged and her bones groaned, her eyes were wide, watching, waiting. Her mind was always the last part of her to shift back to normal after a long mission, so Kira knew sleep was far off, even now.

With a tired sigh the shadow user finally stood, stepping out into the chilly air and onto the bath mat before unplugging the stopper and reaching for a towel. Once dry, she pulled on the normal clothes most villagers wore; a long tunic like shirt with pants. She didn't wear them often, finding it too hard to fight and run in, but they were soft and warm, nothing like the tough leather of both her ANBU and normal training gear. She grabbed a thick scarf on the way out her window, wrapping it around her neck for easy access incase her wet hair made her ears and face too cold.

She'd star gaze, she decided, and work on her almost finished belt, the pouch of string and beads calling to her as it hung at her hip. Jumping up onto the flat roof of her home, she knew her feet wouldn't wake her mother – the women was a deep sleeper – but even so, Kira's feet never made sound.

A great sea of stars greeted her as Kira moved to sit on the lip of her home, facing the outskirts of the village. Her mom's home was larger than most since it was a house and tattoo parlor combined, and was set further into the outer ring of buildings than most resident homes were. Rather than neighbors Kira, had grown up with a pet store on one side and a food pill shop on the other.

Both stores were closed for the night, the owners gone home so Kira knew she wouldn't bother anyone by turning on the small oil lamp she kept under a wooden box on the roof for times like these. With a click, the flame flickered to life and a small circle of light grew around her as she set it to her left and pulled out her work.

She twisted and tied and pulled, stringing beads and weaving braids all the while as the stars glittered and the moon glowed its ghostly light. It continued on like that for a while, just her and the sky above as she worked. It wasn't until her fingers had started to complain of the cold that she spotted something out of the corner of her eye. In the distance, not too far off, someone walked. Not really towards her, she realized, just back towards town. Her eyes flickered to where they had come from and suddenly she knew who it had to be, and let her tensing muscles relax once more.

She recognized the area off to the side as the placed Gaara had first questioned her. He'd mentioned once he spent a great deal of time out there thinking, something Kira had observed herself as she watched him over the years. She couldn't image many people would walk out into the cold of the desert to think, but then again, Gaara wasn't most people.

She untangled one hand from her belt and raised it over her head in a wave. She saw the figure pause for a moment and then turn, starting up again, this time towards her. She smiled slightly before going back to work. She'd barely gotten another knot done before the soft skittering of sand falling on rock echoed next to her and she glanced to the side to see the Fifth Kazekage standing there, arms crossed per usual. He was wearing clothes much the same as her, blue highlighting the edges and seams.

"You're up late," he commented after a moment, a barely noticeable hint of disapproval in his tone. She smiled slightly again, glancing away and staring over his shoulder before shrugging.

"Can't sleep, but I guess that complaint doesn't really work with you, right?" She teased slightly and watched from her peripheral vision as a slight curve touched his lips.

Things had been different since that day, almost two weeks ago when Kira told him about her assignment under his father. She'd expected him to hate her, or maybe want nothing to do with her, but it seemed to have done something else entirely. They were friends now, real friends. He was her leader, but somehow they saw past that, somehow when it was just them, Gaara and Kira, that's all they were, nothing more. It was something she enjoyed quiet a bit.

"You should still try," Gaara continued, walking a bit closer to peer over her shoulder when Kira finally turned back to her work. "You were gone for a while."

"Oh I was?" she said dryly, eyes still on her belt. "I had no idea…"

It took a great deal of effort some times to act like she would around Kankurō or Aya. Gaara was, after all, her superior in every sense of the word, but he'd been the one to instigate their first name bases. She had to try though, because he was her friend, she wanted to be his friend, and friends didn't duck their heads and talk in half sentences.

"I'll go to bed soon, don't worry," she assured him after a moment, despite the fact she knew he didn't buy into her words.

After a few more minutes of Kira twisting and turning twine, Gaara moved to sit on the ledge as well, a few feet between them. Whether it was ease her nerves or for his comfort she had no idea, but she appreciated it. Aya tested her boundaries enough on a daily basis.

They stayed quiet for a while as she worked, pulling beads from her pouch and slipping them on. This wasn't their first encounter like this since the day on the tower. He'd seen her in this spot the night before she'd left on her last mission. It had been near sun set and she had just barely started the belt then. They'd talked a little, just a handful of question here and there, mostly given by Kira. Simple things like favorite foods, hobbies; things new friends asked about. It was how she'd found out he had a garden of sorts. Cacti really, and she'd raised an eyebrow at him wondering if he was kidding. He hadn't been.

It had been on the fly, but now after days of travel and nights of silence Kira had time to think and get up the nerve to speak.

"Hey umm…" Her hands paused briefly, the loop of a knot between two fingers. "Can I ask you something?" Stupid, she thought, to ask about asking a question, but she still did it. She felt the young ruler's eyes on her and he shifted slightly. He must have known this wasn't like the other questions.

"Go ahead."

She bit at her lip and nodded slightly. "What's it like… with Shukaku gone?" She winced at her own question but forced herself to get her hands moving again, even if they did shudder for a moment as she tied the knot. She expected Gaara to be quiet for a while, maybe not even answer her, but it only took him as long as it took her to finish two rows of knot work.

"Quiet." Just one word, but she knew it meant quiet a lot. "Even after Naruto, the One Tails was never very easily swayed to be quiet. He was so full of anger, I could never let my guard down." There was almost a sense of yearning in his voice then, as if he had wished to understand the beast that had been trapped inside him.

Kira nodded her head; she knew well enough everything he'd suffered through. The dark rings that encircled his eyes would probably never go away, a reminder of just how difficult it had been. "…Have you tried sleeping at all?" Odd, to think of sleeping as something one didn't do. Depriving one of sleep was a brutal means of torture to most, but she'd watch him learn how to rest through meditation, which worked well enough she supposed.

"I have not," he said wearily and Kira glanced to her side to look at him as he stared out over the sand. "I'm not sure I know how," he admitted before quieting his voice even further. "I do not wish to see what dreams await me either."

"Dreams?" Kira muttered, confused, still looking at him, his hand clasped in front of him. Why would he not want to dream? Dreams were often nice, full of wonder and happiness, memories full of ...oh. She glanced back at her hands, a frown planting itself firmly on her face. She supposed for him, the thought of re-living his past would be enough to shy away from the entire process. Kira didn't have much of a choice; most people didn't. Still, she wouldn't give them up, even after all the nightmares. Nightmares that often woke her to pools of sweat and gasping breaths. She'd learned, over time, that being afraid of your own mind wasn't something one should do. How to tell him that though, without sounding like a dry old saying that meant so little?

"You know… every once in a while, I have this nightmare…" she began as she finished the last row on her belt and slowly tied it off. His eyes were on her again as she spoke. "…remember? I told you I never left the village till around the time you went to the exams in The Leaf? It's about that."

She'd been so happy; she'd longed to venture from the walls of Suna, but she had never thought at the time how much it would change her.

"What happened?" Honest curiosity covered his tone and the shadow user smiled slightly, glad to have distracted him from whatever his thought had been. She ran a hand over the patterned twine, thinking.

"When word came that the forth had been an impostor, along with his guards, Korin Esely among them, the elders sent out who they could to start searching for the real ones. We were short on ninja, with so many gone from our ranks, called away to the Leaf for that battle. So they sent people in reserves, including me. That's how I met Shura for the first time. I'd seen him around, of course, but we'd never spoken." She remembered thinking he'd looked scary with those harsh brows and hair cut. "It was just him and a few others on my team. We started back tracking the steps towards the Leaf; we were gone for days before we found any clues. I'm sure you've read the reports of what we found."

"Yes." No hesitation. Even if Rasa had done terrible things, to read about your father's death like that, it could be nothing but unpleasant to say the lest.

"When we found him, and my teacher, their bodies had been exposed to scavengers and weather for a while. I found them first honestly, by accident, they were just in that ditch and then." She shook her head, trying to shake the image of the corpses from her mind. "My team was alerted by me, well… throwing up. I'd seen dead bodies before… " Gaara had killed a few during her watch, ones she was unable to stop or ones that had slipped through. "…but the smell? Sometimes I still smell it, like it's always there. Shura had come over and patted my back and I just kind of sat there shaking. I don't know why, it wasn't like I really liked either of them, but I was horrified when I had thought I would be… relived." After all it wasn't every day you were suddenly free of not one, but two tormentors in your life.

"You're not that kind of person," he said evenly when Kira stopped speaking, lost in thought. She looked at him again, surprised and their eyes locked for a moment. He didn't say anything else on the subject, just pinned her with a stern look that told her everything she needed to know. He was right, she supposed, but she was surprised he knew her that well after only a few months. It brought her a sense of joy she wasn't expecting.

"Anyway…" She tore her gaze away still messing with the finished belt. "My point it that sometimes they aren't pleasant, but sleeping, dreaming… it's nice. I don't know how to describe it; it's just… worth it I guess. "

"I will consider it," he said after a pause and Kira nodded her head once more before folding up her project. She hated to leave the night with such a heavy question, so she ran through some easier ones as she put the belt away.

"So...uhh." She looked up as he glanced at her again and she flushed, ducking her head slightly. "What's… what's your favorite color?" Simple. At least she thought so, but the redhead just stared at her bewildered for a long moment before she tugged at a piece of still damp hair. "I like blue… if you didn't figure that out already," she coaxed, smiling slightly.

There was another long silence then as he stared at her, and Kira kept glancing back down at her lap before looking up again. She should look him in the eyes, she knew that, but she couldn't get them to stay. She wondered if she'd ever understand why she had such a problem.

"Gold." His voice brought her back and she blinked, raising an eyebrow slightly. He just looked at her calmly. "Like the color the moon turns during the fall season," he finished.

She was surprised, pleasantly, but still surprised. She hadn't been sure he had a favorite color; some guys didn't. But he wasn't like anyone else. It was strange though, that she'd never seen that color anywhere in his belongings.

"Fall gold," she repeated smiling before looking up at the stars above them "I'll remember that."

…

It had been a while since a council meeting had left Gaara feeling exhausted like it had today. He'd been stuck in there for hours, and by the end of it Kankurō was nearly twitching next to him.

Temari was already back home; she'd given her report on her latest envoy mission to the Leaf and then been excused. The news she had brought had started the discussion that had ended up taking almost an hour of the time before they finally moved on. Running a hand over his hair for a moment he repressed a sigh as they entered the main corridor.

"Damn. I can't imagine things are going to get any easier from here on out," Kankurō grumbled from next to him. "We just don't know how it's going to get worse."

"It is unlikely we will be targeted," Gaara replied, repeating what had been said not even minutes before. After all, the sand had already been targeted, somehow they'd just gotten lucky.

"Yeah I know, but it doesn't make anything better. " That was true. Gaara wasn't sure what he could say to make it any better, none of what had happened lately had been much good and for the most part all they could do was watch.

"-keepers!" Like a bolt of lightening formed into two pigtails Aya came barreling out from the ANBU headquarters and went racing down the hall. Gaara saw something long and colorful and recognized the belt Kira had finished days ago clenched in the girl's hand. It was only moments later Kira herself appeared at the door, standing in the doorframe with an exasperated look on her face.

"Aya, come on! At least let me put a clasp on it! Aya!" Moments ticked by and she hung her head and sighed. Her friend was long gone and for the moment the young ANBU seemed too preoccupied to see Kankurō or himself standing feet away with surprised looks on their faces. Though glancing at his brother, he found his expression had morphed into a smirk.

"Not going to chase her Kira?" he snickered, causing the girl to snap her head back up and almost loose her grip on the door, which would have gone straight into her face. She blinked one, glancing from him to Gaara and smiled warily.

"That would just fuel her antics. Besides she's the fastest on our team; I don't stand a chance of catching her." She sighed again and walking a few feet out of the room after a glance back and let the door swing shut. Her hair was down, Gaara realized, the part normally in braids swung around her jaw line and crossed along her neck. She was also, he noted, still in ANBU gear, the sand coyote mask on a hook at her hip.

"She's a bit of a handful," Gaara spoke up finally and her eyes snapped to his again for a moment before she smiled. He still found is a bit odd, the way she would glance away after a few moments, but at least he knew why. At least he knew she was trying to get better at it, and she was. She was able to look Kankurō in the eyes for several minutes now before looking away, but Gaara knew it was a struggle.

"Yeah, but she's good for me, or so she says," she muttered, tugging on her hair. She seemed to really take them in now, Gaara in his formal Kazekage wear, Kankurō all painted up. "Did you guys just get out?" There was an air of disbelief to her voice and seeing as the meeting had been four hours long, he supposed she had a right to be surprised.

"Sadly. Been a long day," his brother grumbled, rubbing his neck and glancing down the hall again as if he expected Aya to show back up. Gaara wondered too, but he had a feeling the blond was long gone for the day. "You still coming to dinner?" The question wasn't much of a surprise to Gaara, but he still saw Kira look down nervously. It had become a normal part of their lives.

"Don't see why not, I'm there every Tuesday." She certainly was. Every Tuesday Kira's foster mother went to a poker night at a friend's and Kira joined the sand siblings for dinner and hung out. It had been his brother's idea, stating that she spent enough time alone as it was. Gaara didn't mind; he enjoyed her company much like his brother and sister did.

"You make it sound like it's a bad thing."

"It's not, it's just, I guess, something I'm still getting use too." She tugged at a strained of hair again, peaking out from under normally pulled back bangs. Kankurō knew why of course, both of his siblings did. He'd kept it minimal in his overview of what he'd learned, giving them the facts they needed. While he didn't want to breech Kira's careful trust in him, he couldn't keep something like that from his family. Kankurō had laughed, saying it sounded like something she'd be good at. Temari on the other hand had been more concerned about the lasting effects Esley had left, but still found her 'job' interesting.

"Humph, well I need to do some work on my puppets before dinner, so I'll see you two at home," his elder brother said finally, turning on his heels and giving them a small wave as he spoke. Gaara simply nodded his head. It was normal for his brother to do busy work when he was worried. Kira seemed to know that too as she eyed the puppet masters back carefully for a few moments before quirking a small smile.

"Have fun with your marionettes!" she called after him, causing Kankurō to stop mid- step and look over his shoulder with a half scowl.

"They're not marionettes!" he snapped out, annoyed. Kira simply quirked an eyebrow at him, as if she didn't quite believe him. His brother huffed slightly before smirking and shaking his head. He said nothing more, just headed off once again after a moments pause.

It took a few moments of silence, the amount of time it took his brother to turn a corner and disappear, for Gaara to fully understand what had just happened. From the now slightly worried expression that had replaced the one before and from how she stared at the wall ahead, Gaara knew Kira was worried about his brother. A distraction, he realized quickly; while slightly abrasive, her jab at his brother had quickly distracted him from darker thoughts. He wasn't sure how long such an act would work, but he still found it interesting that she'd picked up on it so fast and fixed it the best she could.

He looked to Kira again who hadn't moved and was still playing absently with her hair. Did she already know? He didn't see how, but ANBU had been at the meeting, and word could travel fast. When she glanced at him again, she paused in flickering her eyes back down and he knew she must have seen something most didn't. Her hand dropped from her hair and she pressed her lips together into a worried line. The expression in itself dispelled earlier thoughts, even before she voiced them.

"…What happened?" she asked finally looking back down the hall to where her friend and his bother had disappeared. "Kankurō seemed in a hurry, and you look out of sorts," she explained quietly before he could say anything. "Shura was at the meeting but he wouldn't say anything when he came back. " Her shoulders tensed as she spoke. She wasn't use to being left out, Gaara could tell that much from the set of her jaw, but she seemed more worried then angry.

He looked around them. The hall was vacant, but it was still a hall. He took the steps necessary to stand in front of her before jerking his chin slightly as he spoke. "Come with me." With that he started down the hall and while he didn't look back he knew she was following. He led her down two more halls before entering the wing of the tower reserved for his family and walked to a door of to the side of the entrance to their living quarters.

Inside was a large room he visited often, and in some ways it mirrored the green house where herbs were grown in the village. This one was smaller, with two large tables on either side and one in the middle, all three housing deep planter like beds where rocky soil rested. Glass let in the raise of the sun from carefully placed windows and within each bed of soil was a species of cacti or succulents. Everyone of them was something Gaara had planted himself, and, oddly enough, he found it quiet relaxing.

Once inside the room, he glanced back at Kira who was looking about curiously, momentarily distracted from worry. Once her eyes settled back on him she gave a small smile. "I honestly wasn't sure if you were tricking me about this or not…" she mumbled looking about again. "It's kind of cool."

Gaara didn't really understand why she thought he had been kidding, but decided to let it slide. Perhaps it really did seem odd for someone like him to have a garden.

"I suppose." He walked over to a far side and clicked on a few lights and turned on the water for the carefully placed water lines running along the edges of the beds. Water could drip from pricked holes in hollow tubing freely that way, and it didn't take much. Water wasn't easy to come by in the desert, and Gaara knew not to let it run long.

"It must have been pretty bad news," Kira said, breaking him from his thoughts. He found her by one of the beds, hand reached out to touch one of the purple tinted leaves of a succulent, eyes trained on it. "You only stare off into space like that when you're worried or agitated," she explained. "And seeing as you had me come with you, I doubt it's the later…" She glanced at him then, a frown on her face, honey colored eyes worried. "What happened?" she asked again.

It always took him a moment to recover from the fact that she seemed to know him so well, almost too well though it helped to know why. If she'd been his sentry for years, she was bound to pick up on his habits, but Gaara had always thought his mannerisms had changed since the Chunin exams. Perhaps they had a little, but at the core of everything he guessed he hadn't changed. It was strangely comforting to have someone that could read him like that. Comforting and alarming. He was just thankful Kira seemed to know where lines were drawn; she wasn't like her teammate Aya or his bother. If anyone could read him so well, he supposed she wasn't a bad choice. They were friends after all, and he'd once been told friends learned how to read each other.

"Temari came back with news from the Leaf," he stated finally, watching as she moved her gaze back to the plant. "Jiraiya, one of the Sannin, was killed by the Akatsuki member known as Pein." Saying it himself, Gaara still had trouble understanding how that had happened. He'd never met the man, but he had been well known, powerful.

Though she wasn't looking at him, Kira's hand has stopped moving, and her face showed the shock that had mirrored many of the people at the meeting today. When she finally looked at him she looked like she was waiting for him to tell her it wasn't real, but the slight shake of his head made her lips press together and her gaze fell to the ground. ANBU were trained to know every village's strongest ninja, and Jiraiya had been no exception. The gravity of his death would mean more to her then a normal shinobi.

"I…" She frowned and he saw her struggle to keep the fear off her face. "Just was kind of monsters are we dealing with?" she whispered finally. He watched silently as her hand drew away from the plant and rubbed her opposite arm before she looked up again. He reflected briefly on her words. Monster. That had been a word many had used to describe him only three years ago. Yet, now, and even back then, that word had never been uttered, not from her. It showed him the gravity of her words and just how frightened she must have been. "Things are going to get bad, aren't they?"

Gaara sighed slightly, half tired of that question but knowing it wasn't her fault. It was a warranted question, one he would try his best to answer in a way to dispel some of the fear locked behind her eyes. "There's no way of telling, but we will have to be ready. I doubt that such an attack will not cause backlash of some sort." He saw her nod slightly again, peering at him for a moment before walking a bit closer and sitting on a near by stool. They were silent for a while, and Gaara let her think about the information as he worried about other things that did him no good, and had no bearing on the village at all.

"That's not all is it?" Kira spoke up finally. "Something else is bothering you… Did you know him?" she questioned, and Gaara once more thought it was interesting how she could loose her shyness if she was intensely focused on something, something that didn't have to do with her.

"No," he answered turning to look at her and watched as her gaze darted away. "I had never met him, but he was Naruto's mentor." He'd heard that his friend had spent years with the older man. They had been close, and it worried him to no end what his friend must be feeling now.

"You're worried about him…." she stated quietly, running a hand over her black pants, thinking. She stared at her hands for a long time before raising her gaze once more. "I'm sure he's sad, but I think he'll be okay," she said finally, a thoughtful look on her face.

"How do you know that?" Gaara wondered, curious yet hopeful at the same time. With such a distance between them, Gaara had no way of knowing how his first friend was, and a part of him wished he could see him. It was impossible though; he couldn't leave the village for something like that. His people would need him here and Gaara had to push aside personal agendas to keep them safe.

Kira shrugged slightly, her hands knotted together tightly enough that the tips of her fingers were red. "Because he's not alone. You've told me before that he has lots of friend there, people that look after him, just like your siblings do for you." She peaked at him and smiled slightly. "I don't know him, or his friends, but I like to think we're all the same in some ways. Loss is always easier if you're not alone, and he isn't, so I think he'll be okay."

She said nothing more on the subject, just met his eyes with a comforting smile. For the first time that day he felt himself relax, if only a little. She was right, and even if she wasn't it did him no good to worry. Her words were soundly reasoned though, and so the young ruler chose to believe them.

Soon enough Gaara was pulled from his thoughts as Kira's voice inquired about a certain plant, pointing at it with interest. Another distraction, he realized quickly, but moved to answer anyway. Much like his brother, it was just what he needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thus, the plot gets moving again. And yes, Gaara growing cacti is actually cannon, it's in those books they published about the characters... it's super weird, but I kind of like it.
> 
> have questions about my writing, my story, or just want to chat? Hit me up on Tumblr~  
> http://featherfang.tumblr.com/


	8. Friction

Clever deversion or not, Kira's distraction plan for Gaara didn't end up lasting long as even more distressing news arrived by falcon little more then a week later. It had happened early in the morning, waking Kira up to hear a low knocking on the door feet from where she'd passed out on the living room couch. At first, being in the Kazekage's family quarts confused her before memories resurfaced. The night before had been their normal Thursday dinner, followed by a not so normal movie afterwards.

Embarrassed, Kira realized she must have fallen asleep some time during the film and they had simply let her sleep. She brushed her fingers over the edge of the thick blanket that was draped over her and sat up, only reminded of what had woken her when another knock echoed through the room. She hesitated, unsure if she should answer. Clearly it would be odd for her to answer the door.

People might get the wrong idea…

Thankfully her worries were nullified when Gaara came through the kitchen door, dressed and ready for the day. He didn't even glance her way as he marched over to the door and opened it in one fluid motion. Standing, blanket still in hand, Kira walked over and peaked around the corner ever so slightly, using her training to keep out of sight yet see what was going on. Waiting on the other side of the door was a fellow ANBU, expression hidden behind cloth except for the tightening around his eyes.

"Sorry to disturb you sir, but an urgent message from the Leaf arrived by hawk this morning." His gloved hand held out a scroll stamped with a red seal confirming his words, red being the universal color for help in correspondences between villages. Something in Kira's chest tightened, and her gut dropped. This wasn't good. In no way shape or form could this be good, and if it was from the Leaf Village…

Gaara took the paper scroll from the ANBU with a nod, dismissing him in an instant before closing the door once more. Hands clenching into the blanket, Kira moved around the wall, and straightened to stand a few feet from the redhead. Gaara glanced at her now, and, though his face was calm, she saw the worry in his eyes. Quickly he broke the seal, opening the scroll up. She watched with anxiety running through her veins as he read, sea green eyes flickering up and down in intervals before quite suddenly they froze and Gaara stared at the paper. Kira bit her tongue, knowing even if she spoke he wouldn't answer her. Finally, his eyes restarted and he read what ever was left on the scroll before silently closing it once more.

There was almost a weight to the air, as if it were thick with tension as Gaara slowly put the scroll into his sash and stared blankly ahead for a moment. Kira swallowed, and, blanket still clenched in her hands, took a step forward. "Gaara?" she whispered out as if the air couldn't leave her chest.

The young ruler moved his gaze to her and blinked once. He shook his head, as if waking from a dream before speaking. "Wake up Temari and Kankurō and have them come to the council room; there will be an emergency meeting as soon as everyone is gathered." His tone was calm, clearly an order as he looked at her and Kira nodded her head slightly, her ribs starting to feel more like they were there to cage her organs than protect them. After another long moment, Gaara turned to leave, hand on the door before Kira reached forward, dropping the blanket from one hand.

"Tell me what happened, Gaara, please…" She wanted to know so the knot in her chest would lessen. She _needed_ to know so that she could take away some of the burden on his shoulders that had so suddenly landed there.

Though he did not turn, he did glance over his shoulder at her. They locked eyes again and Kira willed herself not to glance away. Finally he spoke.

"Pein, leader of the Atakaski has attacked and destroyed the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Naruto killed him, but the damage was already done. We will need to assist them in anyway we can."

He left then, and it wasn't 'til the door had clicked shut and his footsteps had faded away that Kira was able to blink her wide, shocked eyes. The blanket fell from her hands into a meaningless pile of cloth at her feet and she took a haggard step back, almost stumbling on wooden legs as the words truly sunk in.

Just like that, the world tilted on its side.

The next two days were spent in a haze of subdued panic among ranked Shinobi as new details were learned and plans were made for relief squads. Shura, a veteran of war and battle, merely took the information in, and though his ever-present face veil concealed his mouth Kira saw the frown lines around his eyes lengthen. Aya lost a bit of her glee, and while she tried to remain chipper, the news was too heavy even for her to be completely unaffected by. Kira hadn't seen any of the sand siblings since that morning, constant meetings for them and guard duty for her kept what ever free time they had separate.

Updated news trickled in from fellow ANBU during shift rotations and kept Kira from going crazy as she stared out over the hills and valleys of sand beyond the city walls. While the Village Hidden in the Leaves had been all but destroyed, almost no casualties had been reported. The Lady Hokage was bed ridden, forcing a new leader to step up and take her place for the time being. The fact that one man – thought apparently he had been controlling seven bodies – could bring a village of that standing to its knees made Kira glad for her mask as she was sure a frown was on her face and fear danced in her eyes.

It wasn't until her fourth rotation out, almost three days later that something changed. An hour before her shift ended, a fellow Shinobi called to her from the ground, a hand high in the air. She tilted her head and glanced at her teammates. Aya shrugged at her, but Shura didn't even budge, his eyes glued to the land before him. It was strange for her to be called upon and not her team.

She landed easily beside the ninja, recognizing him as one of the teachers from the academy. "Koyote, the Kazekage wants to see you in his office. Report swiftly." He eyed her for a moment before Kira nodded her head, all too used to her ANBU code name that was used while on missions and in the field. Border patrol counted as such, and most normal ranked Shinobi didn't know the identities of ANBU, mostly so they could still live normal lives when the mask was off. Koyote was simply what her mask portrayed, seeing as to most she didn't have any special abilities like Shura and wasn't wearing an Oni mask like Aya.

She took a few subtle deep breaths as she headed towards the Kazekage tower, trying not to let her nerves overtake her. Gaara wouldn't call her up formally if he just wanted to chat, so this was more then likely business, not pleasure. But for what, and why just her? She didn't know, and it made her head spin in circles as she opened the door into the tower and started up the stairs.

She nodded to the stationed guard as he opened the door to Gaara's office, letting her step inside, the swift click of the door shutting sounding behind her moments later. She took a few steps forward and then stopped, habit bring her feet together and her arms behind her back.

Gaara was half hidden by the stacks of paper that covered the left side of his desk. He was holding one of the sheets, staring at it almost blankly, his head propped up by on a half curled hand, the pads of his first two fingers resting on his temple. He looked tired, more so than normal. His eyes were scanning through the words and Kira hesitated to say anything. It was almost like the desk made a visible wall between them, reminding her sharply that she was his subordinate. When he finally looked up, he looked slightly surprised, a pale brow rising.

"It's just us, stand down," he said finally, and put the paper aside with a small sigh. Kira hesitated before relaxing her stance and carefully removing her mask. It felt weird, not having her mask – the part of her that made her feel more confident because her face was hidden – in the office. She wasn't sure she'd ever been in the room without it on. Hooking it to her belt, she moved a bit closer.

"Are you alright?" she asked as he rubbed his neck. "Things have been so …crazy," she trailed off, her fingers tapping on her mask. Maybe she was worrying too much. After all, he took care of himself for most part.

"The last few days have been complex, but Kages have finally come to an agreement, so, in time, things will more then likely return to normal." He brought his hands in front of him, fingers laced together as he spoke. "While this information will become public soon enough, understand that you are not to say anything until then." He waited a moment and Kira nodded her head, catching the serious tone in his voice. After another moment he spoke again, carefully as if the words were hard to say out loud. "A week from today, there will be a meeting of the Five Kage in the Land of Iron. We have a common enemy, and it is important that we find a solution." He held her eyes as he spoke, and Kira felt how wide they were at the news and hastily blinked, forcing her features neutral.

"That's…" She wasn't quite sure how to respond to that. It was dangerous to say the least; with all five leaders in one place the enemy could see that as an easy target, getting five birds with one stone. There was also the fact that many of the nations lived in a very reluctant truce. The Leaf was Suna's only real ally and Kira knew that the Rikage was known to be hotheaded while the Suchikage was as stubborn as they got. "This could end badly," she finally said with a sigh.

"Yes," he quickly replied and she glanced up to see him nod. "It's a risk all of us will be taking, so it's been agreed that we each will only be permitted two guards into the Land of Iron. If any others were to cross it would be seen as treachery. " He took in a slow breath eyes locking with her again, causing whatever Kira was about to say to fall short on her lips. "Temari and Kankurō have agreed to come with me."

Kira blinked, her mind sputtering as she felt the odd need to scream. Her jaw clenched and she felt like she was back to how she'd felt months ago when she'd first spoken out against Gaara's guard detail. She remembered him saying he would consider it, yet here he was, falling back on his siblings, putting them in harms way when so many ANBU would gladly take their place.

"Shouldn't you take ANBU?" she questioned, unable to stop herself. "It's likely that's what the other leaders will be taking and if something were to happen -"

"My siblings can handle themselves," Gaara cut in and her jaws snapped together instantly, realizing how that must have sounded. She knew she was selfish for it, to even think it, but she had been hoping he would trust her enough to use her. "I informed you of this, because it ties to what I called you here for," he continued evenly. "I told you long ago I would consider ANBU guards, and my siblings both agree they have other roles better suited to them. You are my friend, Kira, and as such I would trust you with that responsibility, but I need to be sure." His words had turned soft, kind even, and Kira felt the tension in her shoulders lesson, her eyebrows pulling together slightly. Honestly she had never thought he would actually choose her, though a part of her had always hoped for it. She had just wanted him safe.

"That's…that means a lot Gaara." And it did, for him to tell her that he trusted her. It made her feel warm and light, something she felt so little these days. She met his gaze this time and smiled slightly, trying not to feel the confusion as to why he wouldn't use the Summit as his test. "What did you have in mind?"

Gaara stood, looking behind him out at the village as he spoke, and she let her eyes do the same. He was getting good about knowing her limits with maintaining eye contact; it made her strive to do better. "Tomorrow I will be sending some builders and supplies to the Leaf. Your assignment is to escort them. While some of them have training as Ninja, you will be their only really protection." It had become odd to hear him talk formally with her when she'd gotten used to him speaking freely. "This will be a test to see how you handle guarding someone outside of the village on your own."

Kira could see the logic in his words. While Kira had spent many years watching over him, it had only been him and it had only been within the confines of the village. This would be a challenge; she hadn't done an escort mission on her own before, nor had she ever been to the Leaf. After a moment she gave a quick nod of her head. Gaara returned the gesture, placing a hand on his desk and opening a drawer with the other, pulling out a scroll and holding it to her.

"I'm ordering you to take this to Kakashi Hatake. It has a detailed description of your orders and mission with in. With Tsunade bed ridden they've elected Danzo, the leader of the Foundation, as Hokage." The frown his words placed on his face mirror Kira's grimace. She had learned of the man through information and study in her ANBU training and to say he was much like her old master, Isley Korin, was an understatement. She could see why he didn't want her reporting to him. Gaara didn't trust the man like he had the Fifth. "After which," he continued, "You will have a short period of rest, two days to resupply before heading back out again. You aren't required to keep watch on your charges once you enter the Leaf. They will be safe. With things the way they are, I don't want you coming back with no rest."

Kira walked forward and took the scroll from him, quickly placing it in a side pouch.

"Alright…" She bit her lip, the nagging presence of selfish desires clawing at her mind. Finally, choosing her words carefully, she spoke. "Gaara… is there a reason why you wont just test me by taking me to the Summit?" Her question hit its target and she watched his eyes shift to the side and he looked down. So there was a reason.

"It was something I considered," he admitted after a moment. "But, as things are now, it is in the village's best interest for you to remain unknown to the other leaders until I know I can trust them. Your ability to walk through shadows is invaluable, and depending on how the summit pans out, it could be essential they not know." His eyes were on her again but Kira was staring at his desk, the silence after his words almost deafening.

How easily things fall back into a past pattern, she thought, and couldn't will herself to look up at him. "I guess I am still a weapon to Suna, aren't I?" She thought her words would echo with how empty, how cold the room suddenly felt. She wondered if she were to look up at Gaara if she would see Rasa in his place. That thought alone was enough to make her never want to look up again.

…

Her words, so sharply spoken, made Gaara pause at his desk. Staring at her, eyes down, hands clenched at her side, brought back her words from weeks ago, when she'd first told him about her role in the village under his father's rein. She spoken about how to the Third, she'd been a means to an end, a secret weapon used to keep himself at bay. A tool. A weapon, guarding another weapon.

"It's more complicated than that," he reasoned placing both his hands on his desk. "As your ability has never been seen before, you could be taken advantage of by other villages. You could be targeted and hunted down. After learning what I have, after truly knowing the weight of being a leader, I can understand why my father never kept any information on you. It was too big of a risk that an enemy might find out." His explanation didn't sound right, not even to Gaara himself, though it was the truth. Kira was his friend, but she also was a ninja under his command that was uniquely gifted. Such gifts could not be so easily over looked in times like these.

He saw her swallow, and shake her head slightly.

"Is this how it's going to be from now on? If so, then why even give me this mission? I can't very well be your guard if you're concerned I may be found out." It was like all of the emotion had been drained from her voice. Gaara frowned. She didn't seem to understand the gravity of who she was, but her sudden change in behavior worried him. Her question did bring up a point though, and Gaara fought the grimace that twitched across his face.

"A lot will depend on the next week," he said finally. "I can assure you though, that things will not change between us." He didn't want that. Kira was a friend, one close enough to him that seeing her agitated as she was made him worry and want to take his own words back.

Finally, she looked up at him, and he nearly flinched at the dejected look in her amber eyes.

"Hasn't that already happened though?" she asked quietly, as if it were meant for only her to hear. Gaara still heard it though, and the statement took him back, stopping his mind in its tracks. She stared him in the eyes for a long moment, and the young ruler found himself at a loss for words. She stared at him as if she were looking at someone else.

Then, as quickly as the look had come, it was gone and she looked away and reached for her mask.

"I understand," she said evenly, her voice all but back to normal. "I will be ready to leave with the relief group in the morning. You can count on me." She bit her lip for a moment, her eyes flashing up only once to his and only for a moment. It was as if all the progress he'd made with her was suddenly gone. "If you'll excuse me, I must inform my team and then return home to pack."

Gaara fought with himself for a moment, part of him wanting to demand an explanation for her behavior so he could understand. The more reasonable part told him he needed to get back to work and to let what ever had happened wait. Maybe with time he would understand why she seemed so agitated with him.

"Alright. I will see you soon." He paused for a moment before adding, "…be careful Kira." That got her attention again and she glanced up at him and gave him a small smile, some of the warmth back in her eyes.

"You too."

With that, she turned, slipping her mask back into place and walked promptly from the room. Gaara stood there in silence for a while after the door clicked shut. He wondered if he should try to find her later, once they were both off for the night, and try to fix what ever he had done. But he couldn't find fault in his words and too many other thoughts demanded his attention.

Slowly, the Kazekage sat back down behind his desk and picked up another document he needed to read over and sign. When he arrived home that night, it was Temari who after a quiet dinner, spoke up.

"She wasn't happy about it, was she?" the blond inquired as she cleared away the dishes, their brother long gone from the room. Gaara looked at her, frowning slightly and she smiled. "I know you pretty well too, you know. I could tell something was bothering you; something more then what was already on all our minds."

"She was upset with my reasoning," he relented finally, pale brows coming together in frustration. "I do not understand why." He watched as she nodded absently and set the dishes down on the counter and turned on the water in the sink to wash them.

"This mission will be good for her," she stated easily. "She's spent too many of her younger years focusing on you, so of course she's a bit upset that you're excluding her in this. A lot could happen at the summit and she worries about what might happen to you and to all of us, I think. She's a very caring girl, but I don't think she's ever been given the chance to think about her own well-being. " As she spoke Temari took a plate and a scrubber and began cleaning it off under the soapy water. "I think some time away without her teammates might give her the chance to really think about what she wants to do. Whether her wanting to guard you is because she wants to, or if it's just old knee jerk habits from before." Done with one dish, she set it in the draining rack and started another.

Gaara thought about her words. Though they didn't truly answer his worries, they did help. It would be good for her, he agreed. Maybe this time away would help her on her own path, and Gaara would be fine with what ever way she went with. He knew where her loyalty was, and that, in the end, would never change. He just hoped that whatever her choice, it kept their friendship intact.

He would speak with her once the Summit was over, he decided, and try to mend whatever had happened before it created a rift between them. Hopefully, by then, Gaara would understand just what had caused it in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who is wondering why Koyote is spelled with a K it's because Japanese doesn't have C making that sound in their language. They also don't have a word for Coyotes in Japan (as they don't have the animal) so this is how they write it. Just a neat little bit of info for you! R&R


	9. Friction

Konoha was vastly different from Suna. Even with most of the village in ruins, Kira could tell that. The massive trees of the surrounding forest were ancient and must have provided cover for towering buildings at one point. Now, as she walked along a calm stream that bordered the outside of the construction area, Kira had an almost completely unobstructed view of the other end of the village.

It had taken nearly three days to arrive due to a sand storm that had pinned her company down in a small cave for a good portion of the second day. The small group of builders and supply wagons were gone now, left to work under the care of leaf ninja and civilians. The trip had been uneventful besides the storm, and for that Kira was grateful, though she was still finding grains of sand in places she wasn't used to.

With her ANBU mask carefully tucked away and her black pants and blue shirt in place, she searched for the infamous Copy Ninja, Kakashi. The sealed scroll almost burned in Kira's side pouch, reminding her yet again not only of her orders to give it only to the white haired former ANBU, but also of the last hours she had spent back at home.

Quickly, Kira pushed away her agitation at her thoughts before she could feel the heavy weight of disappointment and worry on her shoulders again. Stay on mission, she reminded herself, turning at bend in the path and recognizing a training field not too far off to the left. Just like everything else, it was different from Suna, placed in a wide-open field, the far edge lined with trees.

There were four Shinobi there, one much older then the others, telling Kira it was most likely a squad getting in some practice. As she walked along the path, getting closer with each step, her amber eyes picked out more and more details about the group.

Three of them, including the elder of the group were male, leaving the last to be the all too common single girl. The girl and one boy had brown hair leaving the other two with black, strangely identical haircuts. Pausing at the edge of the field in front of the group, Kira realized the last two were almost copies of one another, the separation of apparent age being the only difference.

How odd…

At the moment the team leader was shouting about something, an arm up in the air and a giant gin stretched across his face. His younger version was promptly following suit, fisting a bent arm in front of his own face. The other two looked as weary as Kira felt, the girl in particular letting out a loud sigh and pressing a hand to her forehead. As odd as it was, Kira found it oddly charming to watch the interaction and probably would have kept watching if the brown haired boy hadn't turned and looked at her a moment later.

She could tell, even from the yards in between them that he was a Hyuga. The sharp lavender-gray eyes of his family pierced through her and Kira resisted the sudden urge to take a step back. She did however, look away, wishing for her mask and rubbing the arm she habitually wrapped.

"Hey there, could you use some assistance?" The booming enthusiasm of his voice made Kira's heart jump and she glanced up at the older man who was looking at her with the same grin as before. By now, all four of them were looking at her and Kira hunched her shoulders, the tips of her ears burning suddenly. She hadn't meant to interrupt them.

"Oh… uh. Sorry," she pushed out the word, glancing up at him again before looking down. "I was just trying to find someone, and…well, I guess… " She trailed off, shifting her feet before sighing. It was so embarrassing meeting new people, even worse when she was caught off guard.

"Oh?" the girl chimed in, taking a step forward. "Do you need some help? We know everyone pretty well." She smiled, lines fanning out around the corners of her eyes that oddly put Kira at ease, calming her heart. She took a few steps into the field.

"I'm to report to Kakashi of the Sharingan to deliver a message from the Kazekage." She answered, relying on mission information to keep her words even. It always felt weird, talking about Gaara so formally, when for over a month she'd simply used his name.

The team of four looked slightly surprised, four sets of eyes flickering to her waist where her Suna ninja headband was placed. "Ah, you're sand shinobi, eh? Well now, it's good to see you. Did you come here alone?" the elder of the group asked, glancing to where she'd come from, as if expecting to see others. Kira give a quick shake of her head.

"I escorted some workers and supply wagons here, there was no need for others," Kira explained quietly, casing the Hyuga to raise an eyebrow. She smiled slightly. "I've never been here before… I would appreciate the help." She'd rather not wondered around in circles all day, and they seemed nice enough.

"Well of course! Kakashi happens to be a good friend of mine, a rival in all things." The elder stroked his chin in thought and Kira suddenly wonder if that was a healthy relationship to have. "Well, My name is Gai, the Green Beast of the Leaf, and this is Lee." He waved a hand to the younger copy of himself and the wide-eyed boy grin.

"You must be quiet the fighter to be here alone!" Lee announced moving closer and holding out one hand is almost a fighting like stance. "We should spar some time, it would be fun." By the tone of his voice, Kira could only assume he was serious. Who in the world asked that after just meeting someone? He didn't even know her name. Not knowing what to say to him she just stared, blinking and wondering how to go about dealing with him for a long few seconds. Finally a hand shoved his shoulder and the girl of the group pushed him to the side.

"Knock it off Lee, you're going to scare her off!" she snapped, her tone almost motherly, as if she were scolding him. After a moment she turned her gaze to Kira and gave a gentle smile. "Sorry about that, he's just easily excited." She tilted her head slightly and Kira quickly glanced to her feet, eyes flickering up to her. "I'm Tenten, and that's Neji." She pointed to the Huyga who had crossed his arms and gave a small nod when Kira glanced to him.

"Kira," the shadow user said quietly, her left hand straying to tug at her hair. "It's nice to meet you." They seemed nice, she thought, and tried to look Tenten in the eyes as she smiled more confidently. Tenten smiled back, and turned to her squad leader.

"I can go help her find Kakashi Sensei," she offered, more eagerly then one would think. Gai crossed his arms giving a large nod, and Kira could have sworn tears were in his eyes.

"That's my girl, always so willing to help others. You go on and help our new friend out Tenten." Beside him, Lee mimicked the older man and Kira felt, for not the first time, a bit out of place. It was just so, weird. Oddly sweet, but weird.

"Alright, see you guys later then," Tenten said easily and turned to Kira again, "Come on, there's a few places he's normally found around." She started off then and Kira twitched before quickly bowing slightly to the rest of Tenten's team.

"It was nice to…meet you," she said quickly before turning on her heels and following after the girl with twin buns in her hair. She lead them in the direction Kira had already been heading and once they had cleared a bend in the dirt road Tenten let out a sigh and gave her a sheepish smile.

"Sorry about them, they can be a bit intense, but they do mean well," she said sincerely, rubbing her neck. Kira tilted her head slightly and smiled.

"They seem nice," she replied tugging at her hair. "Kind of reminds me of my teammate Aya." They certainly did, Lee in particular could have been her clone in some ways. The boundless energy and happy-go-lucky vibes were almost identical.

"Really?" Tenten questioned and after Kira nodded she let out a giggle. "Well, good. They're kind of embarrassing sometimes. Well, not Neji, I think he tries to ignored the silliness as much as possible," she rambled and Kira saw a light tint of pink under her eyes.

Kira could see how much the girl truly loved her team, even if she seemed frustrated with them. As Tenten led her towards a part of the villege that was all but rebuilt they made idle talk. Tenten asked where Kira was staying and seeing as it was the only Inn open right now, Kira figured it was okay to tell her. The girl had seen Kira's weapons strapped to her upper right leg and had been rather interested to find another user of Tonfas. Tenten was a weapon master she learned and though Kira had been hesitant, she had let the girl look at one of her custom weapons. The hidden blades in them had surprised her, but she'd handed it back after a quick inspection.

"We should spar sometime, it could be fun. Everyone on my team just uses hand-to-hand. Would you like to?" she asked with a smile. Kira bit her lip, focusing on keeping her feet moving as she thought about it. It might be nice to spar with others, and Tenten probably wouldn't go at her with intent behind each swing like her teammates did in practice.

She liked Tenten, Kira realized quickly. She wanted to get to know her. It was odd, Kira normally had a hard time being around new people but something about the girl walking next to her was calming.

"Sure, I'll be around for a few days," she answered her gaze flickering up to meet Tenten's. The brunet grinned again and as they turned a corner around a freshly built building she stopped.

"Oh, there he is!" she pointed forward, a small group of ninja in front of them. "Kakashi is the one with silver hair." She waved a hand at Kira and started forward again. Keeping pace with her Kira analyzed the group in front of her quickly.

Two of them wore normal Leaf gear and as he had been pointed out, Kakashi was one of them; his silver hair and lopsided headband were easy to pick out now that she saw him. The man next to him had brown hair and some kind of headgear, probably to protect his ears. The last one, who was also male, wore black that seemed to offset his pale skin. As Kira neared what ever they had been speaking about was paused and they turned their gaze on the two girls. Tenten seemed unfazed, giving them a bright smile.

"Hey, sorry to interrupted but I have a Shinobi from the Sand who was looking for you Kakashi Sensei," she informed them, her hands behind her back. The Copy Ninja blinked his one visible eye and looked to Kira who nodded her head. She could do this; it was part of the mission. She just had to focus on her mission.

"Oh? Well, thanks Tenten. You should probably get back to your team for now though. We've got it from here." Even under his mask, Kira saw the easy going smile on his face and she felt herself shift her guard down just a little.

Tenten nodded her head. "Okay. Well, " she turned to Kira. "Do you want to maybe catch dinner later? I can stop by your hotel in a few hours. I'm sure the guys would like to talk to you too," she offered. Kira shifted a bit, her gaze flickering from the men in front of her to the girl she'd so quickly befriended. She didn't have much to do once she'd finished with her mission, so maybe a night out would be fun.

"Alright," she said with a nod. "I'll see you later."

Tenten gave a short wave before she hurried off back towards her team. Despite her earlier eagerness to help Kira out, she could see Tenten wanted to get back to training. She watched her go for a moment before someone cleared their throat, and Kira turned back around. Kakashi raised his eyebrow and smiled again.

"So, you're from the Sand? Never seen you around before." He didn't sound suspicious, just unsure. He had every right to be after all. "Are you the only one that came?"

"Yes," she nearly blurted out, suddenly slightly nervous now that she was alone. The other older man tilted his head slightly and she met his gaze and nearly flinched at the stare he gave her back. "I'm Kira Araya, I escorted a few workers and supply carts here. Lord Garaa didn't see a reason to send anyone else. I was told to find you and give you this," she reaching into her side pouch and pulled out the scroll, holding it out to him, palm up.

He took it easily and nodded, quickly breaking the seal and opening it. There wasn't much paper, just enough for a short explanation. As he read she glanced over to the boy in black, realizing he was probably around her age. He was eyeing her quietly with guarded eyes. She noted after a moment that he was carrying the same kind of sword Aya used. Was he ANBU then?

"Hm…" Kakashi mused, pausing to look at her from over the top of the scroll. "Well, I guess that explains a few things. I'd say you seen kind of young, but who am I to talk?" He chuckled slightly, closing the scroll with a quick twist. "The Kazekage must trust you a lot Kira, so in turn I shall do the same. As you know I'm Kakashi Hatake," he gestured to the other two men who had been silent the entire time. "This is Yamato and Sai. They're both members of Team Seven, my squad."

Both gave simple greetings to which Kira nodded. Sai seemed interested in speaking more with her and offered to escort her back to the Inn but his team leader stopped him, reminding him they were in the middle of something. The boy had frowned and Kira had simply shook her head. She knew how to get back.

"Thanks anyway," she offered in the end and after another moment, bowed and excused herself. She shouldn't keep them from business, and, frankly, Kira wanted to take a bath and a nap before Tenten showed back up. With a tired sigh she pointed her feet back towards the Inn, trying to not think about the unpleasant way she'd left her home.

…

The wind was a gentle sigh across the ground in Suna the day before the Kazekage and his siblings would leave for the Land of Iron. The sun had dipped in the sky, its underside skimming the horizon line, turning the clear sky a range of golds and pinks.

Gaara walked quietly through the main street of the village, alone, for what would probably be the last time for quite a few days. He couldn't blame his siblings for keeping close to him in distant places; it was their job, true, but it was more than that. They only had each other after all, and the redhead knew with certainty the strides both would take to keep him safe. Not that it was any different for him.

Ahead of him, he heard the distant laughter of children, hurried feet brushing against the sand. His eyes moved, spotting the two boys that always came this way around this time. The same two boys he'd watched every day passed by the tower. The same friends that had would have been crushed by stones if not for Kira's quick actions. They were running about, obvious as they laughed, their line of movement bringing Gaara's eyes to a second familiar figure from this time of the day.

Meela, Kira's adoptive mother moved slowly in his direction, one hand clasping a wooden cane and the other wrapped around the handles of the fresh produce of the evening and next morning. The young leader remembered the first time he'd even seen this women walking along this path way and then, much later, the day he had seen his friend Kira walking with her. The very same day Gaara had first truly met her.

Just like that day the boys ran with blind joy and while one arced around the elderly women, the second bumped her shoulder. This time though, Kira wasn't there to steady the woman on her feet. Gaara saw her eyes widen, saw the ample amount of weight that shifted onto the cane in hopes of recovering, but it did little to stop the momentum. Meela tipped forward, and with no helping hands near by the correct her… Gaara's next movements were without hesitation.

His hand flicked forward and the sand in front of the woman's feet shot up and wrapped gently around Meela's shoulders. As Gaara moved closer to her the sand swiftly tilted the old artist back onto her center of balance and promptly let go, the sand dropping in dead weight at her feet. Looking around, not quite confused but still surprised, Meela's eyes met Gaara as he neared her, a yard or so in between them.

"Lord Gaara," she greeted, her dry lips spreading into a pleasant smile, the lines around her eyes and mouth growing with the action. "Thank you so much for the help."

He tilted his head, walking a few more steps forward to stand off to her side, his eyes scanning over her quickly. "Are you alright?" he asked frankly, his eyes wondering to watch the ever growing smaller backs of the two boys. They would have to learn to pay attention to their surroundings more if they hoped to ever become ninjas. Maybe he would speak with their teacher.

"Oh I'm fine, just a bit tried," Meela assured him. "What are you doing out here Lord Gaara?" she questioned, to which the redhead stared blankly at her for a moment before simply shrugging his shoulders. He hadn't really had a reason for the walk, other than to go for a walk and clear his head. "Would you mind terribly keeping an old woman company then?" Her words held no real tension to them. Clearly it was an open offer, one he could easily refuse without having to worry about her being disappointed.

This was Kira's mother though, and as far as he knew the older women had no one else other than friends. She must have been alone a lot. A change of pace wouldn't hurt, he decided, and turned around to face the direction he had come from. The older women hummed, and silently her cane and feet started forward again. After a moment, Gaara followed, matching her slower pace easily, the movement of her cane and then their feet making a calming rhythm.

As they walked in silence, Gaara took the moment to truly look at the older women that had all but raised the ANBU he was considering for his guard. She wasn't short, but her hunched posture over the cane made her look it. She had long, gray and white hair that swung behind her in a single braid ending near her waist. Her eyes were clear, keen for someone so aged, and were a warm brown. Her face was withered some, covered in lines caused from laughter and worry. She was quite old, he realized now, probably close to what Chiyo had been.

"Lord Gaara?" she addressed him suddenly, her eyes meeting him in a steady gaze that was so different from her daughter's jumpy and shaky one. He raised a pale brow and tilted his head forwards slightly in a nod of encouragement. It wasn't often that the villagers spoke openly to him. Meela smiled, continuing her thought. "The mission you sent Kira on, she isn't in any terrible danger, is she?" her voice held a worried edge to it and Gaara felt a small shock of surprise at her forwardness.

He should have guessed she would be worried about Kira. Meela was her parent after all, and from what he understood of such things, it was a normal reaction. "No. It is a simple escort mission; she will be back in a few days. The Leaf will treat her well." He tried to be soothing, but he had a feeling he'd fallen short of that. It wasn't something he was very good at…

"Oh good," she replied with a smile as they turned a corner and headed towards the shops in the outer ring of the village. Gaara knew the way, he'd long memorized where Kira's house was. "I worry about her when she is away, even more so now as she is alone," she explained her eyes ahead once more, sweeping the ground for any displaced objects. Gaara nodded his head and for a few moments the sound of their feet crunching on the ground was all there was. Then, as if she had not finished her thought from before she continued as if off hand. "I worry less for her now though, so much less than when she was younger, when she couldn't leave."

That seemed off some how to Gaara. Didn't parents prefer their children to be close by and under their watch? "Why?" he voiced quietly, not wanting any idle people passing by to hear them. The older women tilted her head and sighed.

"She was so trapped here," she explained, pressing her lips together in thought. "It isn't good for children to feel trapped in their own home, never able to venture out. I wasn't even allowed to take her with me to the next town over where I get my supplies. That meant leaving her alone here. She never truly complained of course, but I would sometimes hear her pace in her room, see the frustration of boredom in her eyes. I did what I could, taught her about the stars in the sky, told her stories about them. That way, she could at least entertain thoughts of far off places, places no one else could go to either." She paused again as if needing to catch her breath, her home now visible in the distance. "I asked about her mission because before she left, she had that look in her eyes. The look she had before she was put on her team."

Before his father had died. She didn't say it, but Gaara could see the unspoken words in her eyes. The old women couldn't have like Gaara's father much, not after what he'd put the girl she'd raised through.

Her words made him look back on the last day he'd seen Kira, the look of hollow sorrow that had laid there. She had looked at him as if she hadn't seen him at all, as if he had seen someone else behind the desk he had been sitting at. The younger ruler stopped short of Kira's home as things clicked together in his head rapidly.

She couldn't have really thought…

Had she truly come to the conclusion that he would do as his father had? Running over their conversation from before, the redhead found that might have been true. He hadn't meant it that way; he didn't see her the way his father had. Yet, he hadn't denied it when she'd asked if she was a tool for the village. He should have, he realized, though it was far too late.

"Thank you for the company Lord Kazekage." Meela broke his thoughts and he looked to her. She was standing a few feet in front of him now, another gentle smile on her face. He gave a small nod, thoughts elsewhere. The older women paused, staring him down for a moment before speaking once more. "She's been a lot better, you know. Since she started hanging around you and your family. I hope I can trust you to be there for her," she concluded with a nod.

Gaara stared at her, eyes widening slightly at the statement. Had he and his siblings really changed her that much? Truly he knew she was trying harder to get over her nearly suffocating shyness, but he hadn't really noted anything else. He hadn't known her before, but maybe Kankuro had seen something. It surprised him that the elder women would ask him of such a thing though. Had she thought maybe they were at odds with each other? He supposed they were in some way.

That was something he needed to fix.

He needed to make it clear to Kira that he had no intention of using her in such a way, nor did he even think of restricting her to the village. It hurt a bit, knowing that she could think such a thing, but perhaps his words had done much the same to her. Letting their wounds heal slowly on their own wasn't something he was willing to do, not when it could be fixed. She was his friend, and as such the idea of her no longer being around bothered him. Her presence was soothing, warm in a way. She seemed to help him and his siblings just as much as they had to her, and only in such a short while. He wanted to be part of what ever would come next.

"She is a friend of ours," Gaara said evenly, holding the women's gaze. "I value the trust she has put in me more than you could know. I can only speak for myself, but don't believe any of us would ever turn her away." It wasn't quite the wording he was looking for, but Gaara found his thoughts hard to put into words.

Meela chuckled slightly and turned back around, starting towards her home once more. "Have a good evening, Lord Kazekage." Gaara watched her go for a few moments before simply turning and retracing his steps once more.

He had a lot to think about.

Knowing he would have to wait to speak with Kira though, he tucked those thoughts away for now, once again hoping he could make things right, even more so now that he understood her agitation. For now though, Gaara shifted his thoughts to the next morning, and the summit to come. He just needed to get through the next week and hope the meeting went well. He doubted they would truly take him seriously due to his young age. He'd have to prove them wrong.

Just like he had to prove to Kira that she'd been wrong.

It would be a trying week to be sure.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come ask me a question on my Tumblr:   
> http://featherfang.tumblr.com/


	10. Departed

The sound of her own breath leaving her lungs was like a low gasp to Kira's ears. Close to her, the panting of another was heard and she opened her eyes to see Tenten resting her hands on her knees as she bent forward, feet planted firmly on the ground. Kira wiped her forehead, brushing back hair that had come undone. Her weapons lay at her feet where she leaned on a tree for support.

It was the third day Kira had been in Konoha, and like she had agreed, she and Tenten had sparred with tonfas. It had been quiet different, as Kira had thought it would be. While her opponent had come at her with intent in every movement, there was a way in which her strikes were made that told Kira Tenten meant no real harm.

It had been a nice change, and to her surprise, a bit of a challenge. She'd never had to face another person with the same weapons; meaning most of Kira's movements were read by Tenten and vice versa. She'd kept the hidden blades of her weapons locked away, and for nearly an hour they had traded blows and studiously ignored the onlookers of Tenten's team.

In the end, whether by luck, training, or experience, Kira had knocked Tenten's left weapon from her hand and taken victory. Those events lead them to where they were now; huffing and puffing like angry bulls but feeling quiet the opposite.

"That was awesome!" Lee shouted from behind them and hurried footsteps put him into view moments later. He looked pumped and ready for a round himself, making Kira groan internally. "You are so fast Kira!"

She gave him a wearily smile, leaning her head on the tree trunk and concentrating on breathing. She couldn't remember the last time she'd spared for so long. Normal with her team, one of them took the win in around 15 minutes.

"Gee, thanks Lee," Tenten grumbled standing up straight, her weapons long gone, the summoning canceled. She didn't sound angry, more like she was simply pulling on the taijustu boy's leg. It worked, and Lee went back peddling and sputtering.

Glancing to the other boy present, she gave Neji a small nod of her head. He said nothing, as was normal, and Kira had a feeling he knew just what Kira was thinking. She might have won, but if Tenten had started using other weapons in her arsenal, that could have easily changed.

"Alright, it is my turn!" Lee shouted and Kira moved her head to look at him, his fist raised in challenge. "Come at me!"

The ANBU blinked and fought a grimace before pushing herself off the tree. As she bent down to retrieve her tonfas, she spoke. "I'll have to decline. I'm afraid that wore me out more than I thought it would… sorry." It was a half-truth; she was a bit winded, but she could have kept going. Kira just used the excuse to get out of round two. She'd watched Lee fight Neji an hour prior, and wasn't quiet sure she was up to that after what she'd just done.

Lee sulked a bit and Tenten put a hand on his shoulder. "Come on Lee, we can't wear her out too much. She has a long trip back home tomorrow," she explained with a smile, glancing to Kira who nodded her head in thanks. It made her a little sad to leave; Kira had enjoyed her time here in the Leaf with Team Guy.

"Maybe next time. 'til then, we'll both keep training," Kira offered to the boy with a smile as she placed her weapons back in their holsters. Lee nodded his head, satisfied.

"I will be training with that in mind," he declared. Tenten sighed, shaking her head, her hand falling from his shoulder.

"Well, I think I'm done after that. Want to go get some food Kira?" she asked and Kira nodded her head. She'd had enough training for the day, and as Tenten had said, she needed to take it easy for her departure in the morning. Kira hadn't ever traveled such a distance completely alone, and she was a bit worried.

"We'll see you off tomorrow then," Neji spoke finally as Kira fixed her hair, pulling it back into a ponytail. Kira looked to him, glancing to his gaze for a moment to figure out what he was thinking, but he gave no real indication other then a slight upturning of his mouth. She wondered if it was some sort of acceptance, one that felt oddly familiar.

It was the same kind of acceptance she'd felt from Gaara. Strange, to find someone with the same calculating calm personality in their allied village. She looked down, heart nearly sinking into the ground. She spent a lot of energy trying not to think about the circumstances around her leaving the redhead. She'd been angry and upset, foolish even. But there was that stubborn part of her that wouldn't be quiet. That whispered that the proof was there. He didn't trust her. That had to be why she was in Konoha, and not in the Land of Iron….

Shaking her head slightly she nodded her head to the two boys before they could suspect anything. "See you then…" Lifting her hand in a small wave, she turned and followed her friend out of the training field.

"Hey, you mind if we maybe go to the bath house first? I feel all gross after that." Tenten laughed as if she was embarrassed to have said that, and Kira smiled and nodded her head. If she took a bath now, she could leave faster in the morning.

"Sounds good…" she said, following the trail ahead of them that lead into the part of the village that had builds again. They walked in silence for a while and Kira bit her lip trying to reason out a way to get herself back on even ground with Gaara. She'd have a few days once she got back to think it over, as he would still be gone. She frowned, aggravated again as she replayed their conversation. How could he say that to her? It made her dread going back home; she wanted to just hide out in the Leaf village.

It wasn't 'til she could see the bathhouse that her friend spoke up.

"Hey… you all right?" At her voice, Kira stopped, looking to Tenten who had a concern look on her face and halted as well. "I know… we don't really know each other that well, but I can tell something is bothering you. It's not easy to see, but I've gotten good at it. Due to Neji and all."

Kira didn't doubt that Neji was one to keep his emotions well hidden, and it only made sense that his teammates would get better at seeing it. Still, it was surprising. Kira had always thought she was good at hiding her problems, but maybe all the years hiding behind a mask – not have to school her expressions – had made her lose practice. She really hoped Tenten was just sharper then most.

"I… its not a short explanation, nor is it really simple," she explained finally, looking at her feet and sighing. How could she even go about explaining something like that? Most of it wasn't something she was allowed to talk about. Being ANBU was complicated.

"You don't have to tell me everything but… I get the feeling it has to do with the Kazekage, yeah?" Tenten must have seen something in Kira's face because she gave her a small smile. "You called him 'Gaara' yesterday when we were talking, but you didn't talk about him much. I don't think you even realized it, so I'm guess you guys are closer than it appears, but something might have happened?"

Had she really slipped up like that? Kira almost smacked herself at her stupid mistake. It was just too easy to be normal around her! Kira wasn't sure whether to wondered if her friend had the ability to read minds or if Kira herself was truly just that transparent around Tenten. Slowly she looked to the side, staring at a tree and nodded her head.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Tenten questioned, and Kira finally met her eyes. She trusted the weapon user, more than she should have after such a short time, but she couldn't help it. Maybe if she talked to someone, she could get some answers. Either that, or at least get her frustration out by saying it out aloud.

"…Maybe," she said finally and the brunet grinned and grabbed her wrist, causing Kira to flinch slightly at the unexpected contact. It didn't matter who it was, Kira just couldn't seem to shake that response. She wondered if she would ever get past that.

"Come on then, let's go take a bath and chat. At this time of day we should have it mostly to ourselves." That at least was a comforting thought. Kira might have been okay with talking about it to Tenten, but that didn't mean she wanted the world to know.

Once undressed and scrubbed clean, Kira followed her friend into the large soaking tube, which, as she had been told, was empty. The water was nice and warm, soothing sore muscles and tired minds. Once comfortable, Kira explained the best she could what had happened. She had to leave out that she was ANBU… and that she had watched Gaara half their lives, but thankfully she came up with a suitable story either way.

After she was done, Tenten had been quiet for a little while, staring down at the water in thought. Kira took the time to worry and fidget with her wet hair, eyeing the ends of a lock.

"I can understand why you're kind of upset… I mean it kind of sounds like he doesn't trust you but…" Tenten swirled the water in front of her with a hand, making figure eights lazily. "I think maybe he made the right choice, not taking you."

Kira felt her chest squeeze, felt the edges of anger in her throat. Why was it so hard to understand? "But-"

"Hold on, I'm not done yet," Tenten interrupted, a teasing smiling on her face to ease the mood. Kira huffed and sat back in the water, back on the wall. "I don't think he's meaning to seem untrusting Kira, I think it's more of a fact that the Summit is such a big deal. While he is your friend, he probably had to look at it from a lot of different views. If you do end up his guard then you two will learn how to fight together, but he already knew how to do that with his siblings. He had to be critical."

Kira frowned and shifted on the tile seat of the tub. She hadn't really thought about it that way. In truth, Gaara didn't know much about her fighting style. He knew about her tonfas, and her Shadow Jumping ability, but that was it. She often forgot that, seeing as she knew most of his moves.

"Plus," Tenten said suddenly, gaining Kira's attention again. "I think maybe he just wanted to keep you safe, you know? From what I saw when my team helped rescue him…. Gaara doesn't have many close ties with people. You're his friend, that's probably something pretty cherished by him."

Kira's ears burned and she shook her head, using her wet hand to slick her hair back. She'd guessed that already, if she were being honest with herself, but hearing another person say it was a tad embarrassing. She wasn't used to being cherished by anyone other than her mother. Taking in a deep breath, she let out.

"Maybe you're right… I just…"

A hand reached out and touched her shoulder making her flinched again and silently curse. "It hurt. I can tell, but I think you should really just sit down and talk with him you know? Nothing gets done if you don't try."

Kira gave a small nod, flicking at the water in front of her and watching a few drops fly. "I'll try… just…. Don't tell anyone about what I told you okay? I'm not sure I'm supposed to…"

"Hey, no worries," Tenten laughed, dropping her hand. "But in return you have to remember to write to me, okay? I won't let you go back to Suna and forget about me."

Kira laughed slightly to, finding the entire idea silly. As if she could ever forget Tenten, or any of Guy's team. "Okay I will, promise."

In that moment it wasn't the dread that made her want to stay in the Leaf, but rather the girl sitting next to her in the bath.

…

No one had said anything for most of the trip home. The wind had been a harsh howl across the dunes of sand during their trek, and the sand siblings had kept their mouths firmly shut, cloth over most of their faces to keep the sand from pelting them too hard.

This was done mostly out of habit as most of the sand around the trio avoided them thanks to Gaara's natural power over it. He just didn't have any power over the wind and it was better safe than sorry. One only got a mouth full of sand once before quickly learning their lesson.

They ran across the sand as easily as they might have a dirt road, leaving them to let their minds wander. Gaara's mind was far away from the dunes of his homeland, replaying the events of the summit in sharp detail that he was sure wouldn't fade anytime soon.

Sasuke had attack them and Gaara had been forced to fight him. He'd seen the darkness in the Uchiha's eyes that was so deep the young leader doubted there was a single light left within them. Yet, even after all of that, Naruto refused to give up on him.

It baffled and worried the redhead. As one with a limited amount of close ties, Gaara could understand why Naruto felt the way he did. He'd seen the two boys together a few times before Sasuke had turned rogue. That kind of connection was not easy to find for ones such as himself and Naruto. Still, there came a time when no matter how strong a bond one had too look at the consequences. In his short time as a leader, Gaara understood that the many would always have to come before the few. That personal vendettas and feelings could not stand in the way if it opposed all logic.

The blond had not listened though, no matter what Gaara had said. There was only so much he could do. Not when there were other more extreme worries to take care of.

Like the Fourth Great Shinobi War.

It seemed that not a single generation could be spared from the brutality of wide spread bloodshed. Gaara wondered if there could be a world with ninja, and without war. Madara had some truth in what he had spoken. Shaking his head Gaara blinked, recognizing the stone gates of Suna ahead. They were finally home.

The three siblings didn't slow, not until they were inside the village, passing one of the farthest out stores in the shopping district. Temari pulled at her face scarf, dragging it down around her neck and let out a sigh. "Finally made it home."

"I don't know about you guys, but I could use a nap, for like two days," Kankurō grumbled, pulling the cloth away from his face as well, some of the paint on it faded and smudged.

Gaara said nothing, but their sister agreed as they trudged forward, a few civilians and off duty Ninja greeting them as they passed by. They didn't stop, not until they had passed through the venders and had made it half way to the tower when someone started shouting their names.

"Temari! Lord Gaara!" They all turned to look behind them to see Aya running up to them. At first Gaara thought it was just her being her normal, cheerful self. She was known for greeting people when they came back from missions, but something was different. Something was wrong, Gaara realized all to quickly.

The blond, whose hair was normally up in twin side tails, had her hair down and it looked slightly dirty and tangled. Her eyes were duller and dark rings painted the skin under them. She looked haggard, nearly burnt out. It was a bit of a shocking sight, and Temari – the girl's closest friend of the three siblings – was the first to take a step towards her.

"Aya? What's wrong? You look awful…" His sister reached out and smoothed a hand over her friend's hair, pulling it away from her face. "Did you have a hard shift?"

"Yes, well no, I mean," Aya let out a large sigh and Gaara glanced at his brother who looked just as confused as he felt. "I just got off my shift, but that's not really the problem. I've been up for the last few days."

"What? Why?"

At Temari's questions Aya frowned and bit her lip, glancing from her to Kankurō, and then finally to Gaara himself. She hesitated for just a moment before speaking. "It's Kira."

It was like something sucked all of the air out of his body. It was startling, how much two simple words could so quickly affect him. While Gaara tried to keep his composure in place, his brother voiced the words that nearly jumped out of his own mouth. Surely she was fine, the mission she'd been on hadn't been dangerous. It was just a test. She was fine.

"Kira? What happened? Was she hurt on assignment?" His words were quick, worried. Gaara knew how much his brother valued his rekindled friendship with the ANBU. All of them were friends with her in one way or another, Gaara included.

"No, no, she's not hurt. She got home just fine but…" Aya frowned, her eyes settling on the ground, eye contact broken for the first time. "Ms. Araya… She passed away quiet suddenly a few days before Kira came home," she spoke the words as if they were suffocating her, her voice grave and sad for the first time Gaara had ever heard it. "Kira didn't take it well."

There was a pregnant silence that settled over the small group. The sounds of the busy market behind them seemed to fade away in Gaara's suddenly stone cold mind. Meela Araya – Kira's only family – was dead. Hadn't he just spoken with the woman a little over a week ago? She'd seemed perfectly fine to him.

"How is she?" Kankurō spoke finally, his voice quiet, saddened by the news. He'd known the women better than neither of the other two siblings and Gaara knew this must have been hard to swallow after just getting back.

Aya looked to him, a frown still on her face. "I've been checking on her when I can. I took her shift yesterday…Shura told her to take some time." Her words explained her appearance well enough. A double shift on top of everything else would leave most looking dead on their feet. "She won't talk to me, not really, but I can tell she hasn't been sleeping… I'm worried. I was hoping one of you could try…"

"I'll go speak with her," the words were out of his mouth before he could even think about it. His siblings looked to him surprised, but Aya seemed to have expected them, her gaze steady on his. He looked to his siblings. "Go turn in our report to the council. I'm not sure how long this will take."

Kankurō looked like he wanted to protest but their sister put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a firm look. The puppet master sighed, looking downcast. "Alright. Tell her I'm here if she needs me." Without a word, his older brother took Gaara's pack from him and stepped back.

Gaara gave them a nod and the two turned and continued towards the tower. He glanced to Aya who was still standing there, looking at him steadily. "Is she at home?" he asked easily, and the blond gave him a tired nod of her head. "Do not worry about her. You should get some sleep." It wasn't an order, but Gaara put enough force behind his words to make sure she knew he was serious. She wouldn't be of much help to Kira or anyone in her current state.

"Alright," Aya agreed before giving a small bow. "Thank you Lord Kazekage." With that she turned on her heels and walked off towards a group of homes. Gaara could only hope she would get some rest.

Thinking no more on it, the redhead turned and headed towards the tattoo parlor on the outer ring of the village. A building, he realized as he walked, that would remain closed from now on.

It was a short walk, and Gaara spent the time worrying and wondering if he should have asked Aya more questions. He wasn't even sure what he was doing or how he was going to go about doing it. This really was out of his normal comfort zone, but Gaara had jumped on it. He was worried about her, and he admitted to himself he had thought about needing to mend things with her during the trip every once in a while. Now everything was different though, that would have to be put aside until he knew Kira was all right.

He would just have to figure it out as he went.

The door to her house was unlocked, but Gaara still took a moment to knock. When there was no sound from the inside he pushed it open and entered the shop section of the house. The sun was still high overhead and so most of the lights in the house were off, but Gaara felt uneasy as he looked around the deserted room. It was rather large and open, a single chair near the back raised above the ground on a metal stand. Beside it was a more normal looking chair with a standing tray of tools. Above it all though, were the colorful designs that seemed to cover all of the wall space, ranging in every subject one could imagine. Every single one drawn with skill and care that made Gaara wonder why the older women had chosen to do her trade in something like tattooing.

Glancing around the room once more the young ruler moved on through a doorway that seemed to lead into the house part of the building. It was a simple layout, with wooden floors and a straight staircase that led up to the next floor. Most of the house must have been up stairs as the only other room Gaara found on the first floor was a kitchen that held dirty dishes that looked days old and an upturned chair. At the foot of the stairs he found the remains of what might have been a vase. Broken pottery and dead, dried out flowers littered the floor.

Gaara frowned, carefully stepping over the mess and heading up the stairs. He hadn't thought Kira to be one to break things, but such loss could very well drive people to do things they wouldn't normally do.

He didn't have to go far to find her once he had climbed the steps. She wasn't in a room like he thought she might be, instead she was sitting in a hallway, her back to the wall as she stared into the open doorway of a room. She glance up when he appeared at the top of the stairs, a startled look crossing her face, though she didn't move from her spot.

"Gaara? What are you…doing here?" Her voice sounded muffled, as if her throat were dry or tight. She looked about as good as Aya had, her clothes rumbled and hair tangled. The forlorn look in her eyes made the look she had given him last time he'd seen her seem almost cheerful.

He took a few steps forward, approaching her the way he might a frightened animal. "Aya told me what happened," he stated softly and she flinched before looking away, her eyes on the ground. He examined her expression, the tight set of her mouth, the sharply pulled down eyebrows. She pressed her face into her drawn knees after a moment and a shudder went through her shoulders.

"I really didn't want anyone to see me like this," she whispered and he realized then why her shoulders were still shaking, why her voice was tight. She was trying not to cry. Realizing this almost made Gaara take a step back. Her words made it clear she was ashamed of herself, to have him see her crying like this. Gaara didn't even have to think about the answer as to why she would feel that way.

Because in the world of Shinobi showing emotion was a weakness, and crying was seen as an inexcusable venerability. It was a rule ever Ninja understood, and Gaara could only assume Korin Esley had nearly drilled such a rule into her head. The Scorpion Section was known for effectively stripping emotions from its members.

As Gaara watched his friend sit there on the ground, trying so hard to fight back the grief that was plainly showing, he realized that such a rule truly was wrong. She was sixteen years old, one year younger then his brother, and only a year older than himself. They were children, and while they may have chosen this path, Gaara wondered when it had become tradition to send children into battle, to expect things from them as if they were twice their age. Even more astounding was the pressure and high standards they were expected to reach.

When had that become the world they lived in?

When had grieving for loved ones become a sin?

Gaara had no answer to those questions. What he did know was that he couldn't just stand there and do nothing. He was the Kazekage, but he was also her friend.

' _Loss is always easier if you're not alone'_

Kira had said those very words to him not long ago to comfort him, and now Gaara realized it was his turn. Taking off his gourd like the first time they'd sat and talked, Gaara took the steps needed to be by her side and then slowly sat down, raising one knee. He kept a foot of distance between them, not sure how close he should sit and then carefully reached out a hand and touched her shoulder.

Kira jumped slightly, raising her head with a start. Her eyes were rimmed red, and tears swam within them like water on glass. He swallowed. He really wasn't sure what he could do for her, and he certainly wasn't someone who knew how to comfort others. Still, he had to try.

"There is nothing wrong with showing how much you cared about her, nor how much you will miss her." He shifted slightly, his hand more solidly on her shoulder. She bit her lip. "I am sorry, for what you have lost. Your mother was very kind. I could tell… she loved you." Gaara had not known the women well; in fact he wasn't sure they had ever really spoken before the day before he had left for the summit. She had been very wise though, and very, very caring. That much had been easy to tell.

Kira stared at him for a long moment and when she spoke, her chin trembled. "You never knew your mother…" she whispered almost to herself and Gaara didn't really have a chance to wonder why she was bring that up before the tears in her eyes overflowed and she buried her face in her arms. He pulled his hand away as a sob cracked through the air, shattering the quiet house. "They said she passed in her sleep, that it was painless but…" Her explanation was muffed by a plugged nose and her own arms, but Gaara understood it, she didn't have to finish to know what she would have said.

The how hardly mattered, and in the end it did little to comfort someone. They were still gone, and Kira would never see her mother again. "It's alright," he said softly, not knowing what else to say. Gaara didn't know the pain she felt in the same way. He'd never known his mother. She had died the same day he was born. She had hated him.

Not knowing what else he could do, Gaara settled in for a long day. Resting an arm over his raised knee he looked forward into the room she'd placed herself in front of. The older décor and numerous art pieces inside made it fairly easy to tell it had been Meela's bedroom. He glanced at his friend who was crying quietly next to him and after a moment, inched slightly closer to her.

It wasn't much but it was all he could think to do. He wanted to do something, for it was almost painful to see her as she was. Kira had always been strong, her ability to not break under Korin had shown him that much. She was shy and untrusting to most, but her determination had always stood with an iron will and her smile had always been true.

He wanted to find someway to bring those back, but at the moment he knew both were unreachable. If there was one thing was for sure, Gaara knew things had to change, for he didn't want anyone to have to hide away like this. He would work for it, he decide, for a day when his people could see tears as simply a way of grieving, and not something they needed to hide.

"Thank you," Kira whispered through hitching breaths after a long time. Gaara looked to her and she met his gaze with a watery one. He pulled his lips up slightly in a small smile, in some attempt to comfort her.

"You don't need to thank me."

She stared at him for a moment and Gaara wondered what she was thinking before she shook her head and rested her chin on her knees. He knew in that moment, if she'd had the strength, she might have smiled.

"No, I guess I don't."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gaara's half was actually one of the two scenes I had planned out before this story became a story due to the fact that I had been thinking about how the Naruto world sees grieving as a bad thing and I THINK THAT'S SO STUPID.   
> It also took inspiration from my muse for Gaara's character, the band Blue October and their song 'Drill A Wire Through My Cheek', Check it out :)   
> As Always, feel free to come bother me on Tumblr about any questions about this story or any of my other creations. I recently did a post about this story in perticular.   
> http://featherfang.tumblr.com/


	11. Moved

The following day a funeral was held for Kira's mother. Meela Araya hadn't been a noble, or a leader, or even a ninja, but many people still gathered. Kira had been told once, long ago, that the number of people that mourn a person's death shows the value of their life. It was comforting in a way, to know her mother had such great value to the people in the village.

There were few left now. Her mother's ashes had been scattered across her tombstone as was tradition, and soon after people had trickled away like grains of sand through fingers. Kira hadn't moved though; she'd stayed standing in front of her mother's resting place among the other graves, watching as the wind played with lingering ashes.

Kira couldn't remember the last time she'd worn a dress. Such fashion was hardly suitable for a shinobi, and they weren't seen much in the dessert either. Still, she wore one now, long sleeved and black, the skirt reaching just past her knees. Her hair was freshly washed and set back into her normal style and all traces of tears had been scrubbed away.

Aya stood beside her, a hand on her shoulder meant as a comfort, but to her it felt like dead weight. She didn't know what to say to her friend, and while Aya had offered caring words, it all felt a little hollow now. Kira couldn't really seem to figure anything out though. The last day had been nothing more than a blur of emotion and exhaustion, as she had passed out not long after crying for over an hour the day before.

The grief was there now, it would be there for a while she figured, but it wasn't the same. She was spent, level headed once more, and while it nearly ate away at her soul, Kira had accepted the passing of her mother. It didn't make it any less painful, but in excepting it, in grieving the way she had, Kira had found a little strength to pick herself back up and move again.

She just wasn't sure where _to_ move.

"I know you probably don't want to think about it," Aya said quietly, her hand squeezing gently on Kira's shoulder. "But my mom said you could use our extra room if you wanted to." She meant well, Kira knew she did, but the idea of moving into a house and a room that had once belonged to Aya's older sister bothered her. Kira had never met the women, but she had apparently moved to the Land of Stone to follow some boy home. It felt like an intrusion to use the room. Still, Kira knew rather well she couldn't keep staying in the house she'd grown up in. Her salary as a ninja wasn't bad, but it certainly couldn't support a place that big. Beside, Kira had no real use for half of that place anymore.

"I'll think about it," she muttered, echoing her friend's words, eyes pinned to the flowers that nearly covered the words etched into the stone.

"Alright. I'll see you later okay?" The only reply her friend got was a short nod. Aya sighed, and slowly her hand dropped from Kira's shoulder and she walked away. Kira didn't turn to watch her go, just listened to her retreating footsteps as the wind picked up and tousled her hair to the sided. Slowly, she crouched down, eyeing the flowers and grave.

There was a part of her that berated her for her actions. How could she be so self-centered, it reason, when a war was brewing that would affect every person she knew and more. It was only a small part of her though, and Kira resigned herself to the fact that the world could go on without her for a few days, that she had a right to do as she did now.

After a long moment Kira reached forward and grabbed a few of the flowers from the grave and turned slightly to put them down on the grave a foot from her mother's, but perfectly lined up with it. The stone was much older; a few cracks had formed along the edges of the plaque. It read: Akio Araya, the date of his death being that of eleven years ago. Kira hadn't known him well, but he had been the reason for her happy home life. She just wished she'd been able to know him better.

It wasn't long after that she heard a set of footstep coming towards her. She knew who it was before he even spoke; the sand siblings were the only ones still present with Aya gone. None of them had spoken a word during the funeral, but Kira had already known everything they could have said.

"What do the words on your back say?" Gaara's voice was quiet just like the wind that blew through. Kira blinked, turning slightly to look at the redhead in surprise. That had been the last thing she'd thought he would say. She welcomed the change in topic though, and suddenly she realized why he'd said it.

Turning to look back at the head stone she could almost see what he was referring too. The back of her dress was laced, showing a small amount of skin. The picture covered most of her mid-back, a dark blue night sky that had faded edges, a full moon and bright shining stares. A single shooting star drew the eye to a line of kanji on one side. Kira could only guess that with the lace, Gaara couldn't read it very well.

"It says, 'The sky has room for every star.'" Kira remember the months it had taken, almost a year, but the tattoo had been slowly placed on to her back. It had taken a very long time due the complicated design and detail, and it held a lot of meaning and hope for Kira during those days.

"Is it new?" He sounded genuinely curious about it, and Kira couldn't help but think about the day before. About how he'd sat there for hours while she'd cried and he hadn't belittled her at all for it. He'd said it was alright. He'd made it feel okay to cry, just like now how he made it easier to concentrate on something else.

"No. I've had it for a very long time. It started being applied shortly after I began ANBU training with Korin." She could nearly feel him tense behind her at the name of her former teacher. Kira busied herself by rearranging the flowers on the grave so that the words weren't covered. "You asked once, or rather you implied once, that you were surprised I wasn't like his other… students." Kira had met some of them once; they had been cold, emotionless, and cruel beyond hope of ever being sane again. Most of them had died during the assault on the Leaf.

"Yes." His reply was curt, but still softly edged. He didn't want to force her to talk about it, not now, when Kira was already so emotionally raw. He should know though; she wanted to tell him.

"I nearly did break…I…some of the things he did to try and break me…" Kira shook her head and rested her arms on her crouched legs. She couldn't seem to form the words needed to describe the training. "I started getting the tattoo every time I went home from a session. Some times I was gone for weeks, but the pain of the healing ink on my back was a constant reminder of who I was. It reminded me of my mother and that I did have a reason not to give in. If it weren't for her…" her voice hitched and she sighed, eyes down cast. "I don't know what to do…"

The wind whirled in her ears again and Kira didn't bother to try and keep her face neutral. She didn't seem to have the strength to. Gaara moved forward, the scuff of sand shifting telling her that. She could almost feel him beside her, though he didn't move to touch her. After a moment the shifting sound of sand came again and Kira's eyes were drawn to the sand around her mother's gravestone. One second it was normal loose sand, and the next the sand seemed to press in on itself, the indented shapes of flowers forming in a relief like stamp.

It startled her, and she looked up to Gaara who stood at her left and met her eyes with his as if he had been waiting. She blinked before glancing at the relief of flowers again, truly surprised that he could do that. She'd had no idea. "How did you..."

"I saw the design on a wall in your house," Gaara informed her and Kira nodded slightly. She wasn't surprised she didn't recognize it; her mother had hundreds of designs. It was interesting that he'd remembered one though. "Perhaps it is one you should take with you, when you move into your new quarters."

At first, Kira thought maybe he spoke of Aya's offer. It was possible he'd overheard them talking, but as she looked up at him confused, that wasn't what his steady gaze seemed to tell her.

"I don't understand."

"You'll be moving into one of the rooms in the Kazekage's family quarters." He said it so matter-of-factly that all Kira could do was gawk. Gaara raised a pale brow as if he couldn't understand her confusion. "You passed the test I gave you. Your new assignment will start in two days, it only makes sense that my guard would be close at hands as all times." There was a pause and Gaara looked past her for a moment before continuing. "Kankurō believes it is the best action to take."

Oh.

Kira glance to her other side where she found Kankurō and Temari standing a good distance away watching them. The puppet master grinned and gave a wave when she looked to him. Kira bit her lip. She couldn't deny that it was logical, but it was still a bit overwhelming.

"I don't know if…" she trailed off realizing Gaara's words hadn't really been an offer like Aya's had been. It hadn't been an order either, but as she glanced back to the redhead the look he gave her silently informed her it would become one if she didn't agree. Did she really have any reason to object besides a bit of awkward discomfort? She looked down again, eyes tracing the imprint he had made in the sand and chewed on her bottom lip for a moment. What other options did she really have? Slowly she let her shoulders drop and she nodded her head slightly. "Understood… Thank you…" she murmured and the young ruler shifted his weight again.

"I told you before, you don't need to thank me."

She glanced up to him again before standing up, her feet protesting. She looked him in the eyes for a long moment before she simply turned her gaze upward. "I know, but I am grateful all the same. Not just for this or yesterday, but for, well, everything." After all where would she be if he hadn't been there? True, the entire reason she'd been allowed to stay in The Sand was because his father had seen her as a means to an end for him, but that wasn't really what she meant. She wasn't quiet sure what she meant, but she did know that he'd changed her life since the day she'd spoken out of turn.

Gaara looked surprised by her words, the corners of his mouth twitching upward for a moment. "Such benefits are not one sided," he pointed out catching her off guard once more. When Kira turned her gaze to him again, he was looking off into the distance, past the graveyard. "I expect you for dinner tonight."

Kira snorted slightly at his tone. She couldn't quiet tell if he was demanding it or just informing her of a possibility. He didn't want to order her around, she knew that much. Nodding slightly, she glanced to her mother's grave again before turning away from it and towards Gaara. "I'll be there. Promise."

Now she just had to go home and pack.

…

True to her word, Kira had arrived six hours later, leaving her some time before dinner would be ready. She'd enlisted Kankurō's help packing, practically dragging him along and saying that since it was his idea, he got to help. Gaara was pretty sure he wasn't the only one who found it amusing that he'd unintentionally set his brother up to be a pack mule. Honestly, Gaara had been surprised by how quickly she had arrived. His brother was leading her down the hall to where bedrooms were kept and it was only late afternoon. The portion of the tower meant for the Kazekage was large, and had a total of five bedrooms. Being as there were only the three of them, that left two rooms vacant.

Gaara watched silently near his sister as Kira glanced in both rooms before quickly choosing the one at the end of the hall, leaving a room between hers and Kankurō's. Temari's was next to Gaara's on the opposite wall, both of theirs larger than the other three. Gaara hadn't really cared, but some how he'd ended up with the one most likely meant for two people to share.

Kira's new room was clean, but mostly empty. There was a desk pushed up to one side and a sliding closet next to it. A bed, bare of sheets, was on the opposite wall, a large window to the left of the headboard.

Kira set the one medium sized box she'd been carrying down on the bed as Kankurō set down a large scroll Gaara didn't recognize. The puppet master unrolled it, revealing a summoning seal. With a quick hand sign and a puff of smoke, four more boxes appearing on the paper, all around the same size as the one Kira had set down.

"Easiest move ever, right?" Kankurō said with a grin, looking rather proud of himself as he crossed his arms. Kira raised an eyebrow at him and Gaara saw her lips twitch for a moment, though she didn't smile.

"Yes, thank you oh great master of summoning boxes," her tone left little doubt of her sarcasm and Kankurō huffed a bit. To Gaara's side, Temari took a step into the bedroom, looking around before her eyes landed on the small stack of boxes.

"Don't you have anything else to get Kira? I don't mind helping." At her words Gaara saw his friend tilt her head and look at her packed belongings.

"No. This is everything."

"Oh."

Gaara could only guess that Temari was confused by how little the ANBU had brought with her. His sister's room was rather full of items and he was sure it would have taken nearly three times as many boxes to pack it all up. It was a little odd; even Gaara himself had found he had slowly begun to collect things over time.

Whether or not her statement had bothered Kira, she simply shrugged and turned, popping the lift off the box on her bed and reached in, pulling out what looked like a picture frame. After a moment she spoke again, as if she had been thinking over what his sister had said. "I guess it's weird…I just, well, never really had the time or money for a lot of things." As she spoke, she pulled out another framed picture and then moved across the room, setting them on the desk.

"Really? I thought ANBU got paid pretty well…" Temari trailed off, apparently realizing she might have been prying. Her statement was true though; ANBU were paid rather well seeing as they were put at risk a great deal more. She should have had spare money.

"They do," Kira replied and continued unpacking the box, pulling out a few books and an alarm clock. She wasn't looking at any of them as she worked. "But the last few years mom's work hadn't been pulling in much money, so I was helping pay for the house payments and food and stuff. I didn't mind really…." She paused; her back tensing and Gaara frowned. Speaking about her mother so soon after her funeral must have been hard, and he could imagine she would have done anything to have the life she spoke of back.

There was a thick silence for a few moments before Kankurō stretched and then yawned. "Hey, so I just remembered I have something for you. I'll be right back." He gave his friend a grin when she nodded her head and then turned, grabbing his sister's shoulder and walking past Gaara into the hall with her. Gaara watched quietly as he dropped his hand and then shook his head at Temari's confused look. After a moment the blond pressed her lips together and gave a quick nod.

"I'll go see how dinner is going." With that she turned down the hall, past Kankurō as he open the door to his room and walked in. Glancing back to Kira, Gaara found her still unloading the first box, taking out what seemed to be a small art piece before she snapped the lid back on the box and put it on the ground, moving to the next one. This one was filled with colorful twine and beads and other supplies Gaara didn't really recognize. It was the one hobby she seemed to have, and while he hadn't seen her weave the twine together lately, he was glad she didn't appear to have given it up.

After watching for a few more moments, Gaara walked into the room and over to the desk, curiosity getting the better of him as he peered at the two pictures she'd set on it.

The first was old; even with the glass protecting it the edges were crinkled. It was still in full color, telling him it wasn't too old, but then he realized who one of the people in the picture was. Meela, perhaps a bit younger, her hair a light brown with just a few silver strands in it. She sat on a bed, one that looked like the ones seen in the medical building, next to a man that looked her age. His hair was short and black, but his skin looked too pale, unhealthy and see-through. Surprisingly, Gaara saw his village headband resting on the side table by the bed, identifying him as a ninja. The last person in the picture was much smaller and sat in front of them; legs sprawled out in front. They had short black hair barely covering their ears and wore a too-big shirt that nearly fell off one shoulder.

It took Gaara a moment to realize that it was Kira, her bright amber eyes staring back at him from a much younger face. They were all smiling in the picture, but Kira's was larger than the others, a thing only seen in a child these days.

"That's my dad."

Her voice startled him and Gaara looked to his side to see Kira standing there, her arms holding the half dozen books from before. She nodded back to the picture.

"You were wondering who he was, right?"

The thought had passed his mind, but Gaara hadn't thought to mention it. Now though, he was curious. "Your father?" It was a bit confusing honestly, he hadn't seen anything about one in Kira's file, not that her file had much. Then, Gaara recalled a memory only a few hours old; he'd watched Kira put some flowers on the grave next to her mother's, but at the time hasn't really thought about it. He remembered the name though, mostly because the Ninja sign had been next to it.

Akio Araya.

"Yeah," Kira started and moved, setting the books down and then began placing them near the back standing, using the wall like the back of a bookshelf. "When I was first brought here, they didn't know what to do with me, so they kept me in the hospital." Like before her voice was even, her eyes and hands focusing on her task at hand. Someday, Gaara hoped her voice would be as strong as it was now all the time. "I got bored though…so I did what any kid would do. I started exploring, and eventually I found his room." After a moment the books shifted and Gaara watched them lean to the side and fall over on the table. Kira made a small sound of annoyance and turned away, stocking over to the boxes and opening a different one entirely.

As she sifted through what looked like bedding and clothes, Gaara turned to watch her and prompted her to continue. "Why was he there?" His words made her pause for a moment before she started up again.

"He was sick. It was… terminal, some kind of disease that eats away at your own chakra." She pulled out a small whetstone. The block was rather worn, but still useable and appeared to be what she had been looking for as Kira straightened once more. "I remember he would get really tired easily and have these really bad coughing fits."

While the proper name for the illness escaped Gaara as it seemed to for Kira as well, the redhead knew what she was talking about. It was rare, but he'd read that in someway it was like having cancer, but it only went after chakra. Once there was none left… the host body would soon fail.

"He was really nice," Kira stated, breaking his thoughts as she walked back over and reset the books, this time using the whetstone as a bookend of sorts. "He let me stay in his room, and he talked to me like a normal person. Told me stories about his adventures. He was an ANBU; I remember thinking that had sounded really cool." She made a face that seemed stuck between a wince and disgruntled annoyance. "I met his wife a few days later, my mom."

An ANBU? Gaara raised an eyebrow in surprised, looking back at the picture again. He wouldn't have ever guessed that. Then again, wasn't that the whole point of the mask? "He meant a lot to you." It was a statement, a truth that rang true in her own words as she spoke of him. Kira nodded her head, hands twitching as they fell to her sides, task done.

"He gave me my name." Her lips twitched when Gaara's eyes widened, like she wanted to laugh but couldn't. "I couldn't remember anything about myself; I still can't from the days before coming here. I didn't know what my name was, so he gave me one. He said my eyes glittered like the stars in the sky, and that was why I was Kira." As he watched, Gaara saw the smallest of smiles touch her lips, her mind lost in a pleasant memory. He wondered what it must have been like for her, not remembering anything. Gaara had been alone, he had been hated, but at least he had always known his name, always known where he was born. "He's also the one who got… your father to let me be adopted." She threw the words out at him so suddenly all Gaara could do was stare for a moment.

"What?" Did she mean to say that his father hadn't planned on letting her have a somewhat normal childhood? He frowned, eyeing the picture again and the man in it.

"I think your father had planned on putting me straight into the Scorpion Section. But my dad, I guess he knew your father pretty well, was one of his trusted gaurds like Korin, and some how he convinced him to do differently. He asked to let him and his wife adopt me, and for some reason…your father allowed it." She bit her low lip for a moment before sighing, her eyes half shut. "I know now that his reasoning was not just to save me from that fate, but also to give my mom something to hold on to. I think he knew he wasn't going to live much longer." She reached out and touched the photo, staring at it. "This was taken the day I became their daughter… he passed away less then a month later. After that it took a while for mom and I to really become close. He'd been the glue that put us together, but in the end we both needed each other."

"He'd be proud of you." Gaara didn't have to think about it, he just knew it to be true. Who wouldn't be proud of her? Kira had done more then most would have thought possible. She gave a nod and then pointed to the other picture. It was newer, and featured Team Fukurō. It looked like a normal team picture, but they were much older than normal.

"That was taken about two months after I became part of the team. Aya found out I didn't have a 'team picture', and practically demanded we get one. Shura wasn't very happy about it, but he put up with it." True to her statement, Gaara could see the sober expression on the older man as he stood next to his younger charges. Aya had an arm over Kira's shoulder and was grinning at her while Kira just smiled slightly, half looking at her friend. Gaara smiled slightly at the photo. It seemed perfect some how in displaying the dynamics of her team.

There was a stark difference between the two photos. One telling of a past and memories of people she would never see again, the other showing the present and the people she cared about. Just two pictures, but they spoke quiet a lot.

As he compared them silently, Kankurō came back into the room and Gaara glanced up at him. He was a bit surprised to find his brother holding yet another framed photo, and rubbing the back of his neck.

"So, I got this a few weeks ago, but then I lost it for a while. But, uh, here it is." He held out the small rectangle, and Kira moved, walking around Gaara and taking it from his brother. She looked down at it for a moment before snorting and shaking her head, that ghost of a smile on her face again.

"I had wondered." Turning, she walked the few steps back over and set the new photo down next to the one of her team. Gaara studied it quickly like the others and was surprised at what he saw. It was a simple photo, the two people in it being his brother and Kira. They stood side by side, looking at each other – Kira having to look up a bit – and where smiling, their fists bumping together in the center. Judging from both of their clothes it was rather recent, and Gaara wondered if it had been taken to mark the rekindling of their friendship.

As Kira turned to thank his brother and moved with him to unpack more boxes, Gaara found himself wondering at the now three photos. They were all stages of her life; all cherished among her few possessions. They were representations of the people in her life that she truly let in. Gaara couldn't help but wondered if maybe one day, He would be in one of her photos too.

He hoped so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter concludes the first of three 'arcs' in the story. Stay tuned for more!  
> FInd me on Tumblr!


	12. Adjusting

_Dear Tenten,_

_I hope this message reaches you well, though I hold little doubt since my last one did. Thank you for your kind words regarding my mother. Though it pains me to think about it I try my best to remember the good times._

Kira paused, her pencil stilling on the paper in thought. Glancing to her right, she looked at the picture of her family from years ago that lay a mere foot from her on the desk. Kira found herself wishing she'd taken the time to get more photos taken with her mother, or more photos in general. Now, this single image and the few mementoes she'd taken from her old home were all that she had left of the woman that had raised her.

The young ANBU sat at her desk in the room that was now completely unpack as of two days ago. It was a lot larger then the room she'd had before and the rather small amount of decor held within it made it look more like a hotel room then one used by the same person every day.

Maybe Temari had a point.

Kira bit at her lip glancing outside, the large window giving her a good view of the night sky. The moon was high; showing how late it was, yet Kira couldn't sleep. Her mind raced in too many directions and so, knowing she would have a busy day ahead of her, she took the time to write back to her friend in Konoha before too much time had passed.

Looking back down, she moved her hand to write again, feeling as though she could truly write what she wanted to the weapon user. The girl had become someone she could truly confide in.

_There is a part of me that is glad for her passing, since my mother lived through two wars before this one and I'm not sure what another would have done to her. She would have worried, that much I know, because I would be in the middle of it. I still can't quiet wrap my head around it. The Fourth Great Ninja War. It is bound to be different than the others, given our alliance, but I will admit I'm unsure of what is to come._

_What do you think?_

_How is the rest of your team doing? I feel like I never really got to thank them for everything before. I hope we can see each other again soon, before the war._

A sigh escaped her mouth and Kira shook her head, setting the pencil down. So much about her life had been thrown upside down upon returning from her mission. The absence of her mother, a new home, new job and then tension of an approaching war being most of it.

The gentle rapping of knuckles on wood drew her gaze to her door. She hadn't closed it, preferring to do so only when she slept or changed. In the doorframe, hand still raised to rest on part of it, stood the only other person crazy enough to be up at such a late hour.

"Oh, hey Gaara," she greeted, giving him a small, tentative smile. She had trouble really smiling lately. There had been so many changes, and so many upsets Kira had a hard time finding much to smile about.

"You're up late again," he noted, nodding to the window as if to back up his statement. Kira raised her eyebrows, giving him a look that clearly said 'you're one to talk'. He might have had an excuse but Kira still found it funny what he would comment on such a thing.

"I'm just trying to get some stuff done before things get busy tomorrow," she answered gesturing to the paper. "You can come in, you know." It was kind of strange how Gaara never entered her room without her inviting him in. Maybe he wasn't sure if she wanted him to. It could have been simply a gesture of respect for her privacy – though she had said she didn't mind unless her door was closed, something Kankurō had learned the hard way – but Kira wondered if there was more too it then that.

The redhead stepped inside, walking over and sitting on the edge of her bed. She should really get more then one chair in the room, she noted and realized she should probably do some shopping in the days to come.

"You got a letter a few days ago, is something wrong?" He looked pointedly at her half-written letter and Kira shook her head, not really minding his curious prodding. He'd leave it alone if she asked, but there was nothing really sensitive or embarrassing about it.

"I made a friend when I was in The Leaf. We've just been writing back and forth, keeping in touch," Kira explained and when Gaara looked at her questioningly she looked down, biting her lip as heat spread over her face. She wasn't sure why that embarrassed her at all. "Her name is Tenten. She helped me find where I was supposed to go when I got lost in the village. She's part of Rock Lee's team."

The air got tense at the name and when she looked at him again there was a mixture of guilt and regret in his eyes. Shifting she turned around in her chair, straddling it backwards and laying her arms over the top watching him shift his weight as if uncomfortable under her gaze. "He told me what happened you know, between you two. He offered to walk me to my Inn one of the nights I was there and took the opportunity to ask about you. He wanted to know how well I knew you, and if you'd ever really forgiven yourself for what you did." She rested her chin on her arms waiting a moment for him to say something. When he remained silent, his eyes looking else where, she continued. "He hopes you will, because he already has."

Gaara met her eyes again at her words, his eyes widening a fraction in surprise. Kira could understand his reaction. From what Lee had told her, Gaara had not only almost killed him, but had almost ended his career as a shinobi as well. It hadn't really surprised her; she'd known what he was like back then. All he'd cared about was himself, and it mattered little who got hurt. That's why his father had used Kira to prevent unneeded deaths.

"You've known what happened for a while then," Gaara spoke finally, carefully, as if he were walking on thin ice and one wrong word would send him into the frozen depths. "Yet you haven't treated me any differently, even though I hurt a friend." Sometimes Kira wondered, when he asked these things, if he was waiting for her to simply snap and leave his life forever. She felt her face soften and she lifted her head from her arms to speak.

"I think we can both agree I've probably seen you do worse," she pointed out and his shoulders tensed, but she tried to hold his gaze, tried to fight back the want in her mind, the almost need to look away. "I've told you already how I felt about that. You don't have to worry; I have no intention of ever turning my back on you. You're my leader Gaara, but you're also my friend. Neither of those are things I wish to see change." Gaara nodded his head, eyes still wide and Kira looked away again, cursing herself for her weakness. She was getting better, she could tell. After a few moments she added to the silence, "I met Naruto while I was there."

"You did?" That peaked his curiosity, and thankfully distracted him as Kira had hoped. She nodded her head, resting her chin on her arms again.

"I was heading out of the village when I ran into him and his two teammates. I'd briefly met Sai days before and he had instigated a conversation. The medical ninja… Sakura, I think? She was healing Naruto who looked like he'd gotten the shit beat out of him." At a perplexed look from the redhead Kira shrugged. "I have no idea…and I didn't ask either. Not my business. He asked how you were though, once I told him I was a friend of yours."

Kira honestly wasn't sure how she felt about the Hero of the Leaf. Sure, he was interesting and his personality glowed with a light that seemed to draw people in. She could see why he'd been able to make an impact on Gaara's life. Yet there was something about him that left her uneasy, as if she needed to speak carefully around him.

"I spoke with him briefly at the Summit," Gaara informed her, causing her to raise a brow in surprise as she glanced to him. Maybe her distraction hadn't work as well as she thought, because once more he looked troubled. "I informed him of Sasuke's attack on the Summit, and tried to sway him to see reason. He must realize that one cannot save someone who doesn't wish to be saved."

Kira frowned, looking at the ground in thought. She didn't have any hope for the rogue herself, and she probably would have tried to kill him if he appeared here now, after what he'd done, but she could see Naruto's reasoning. "It must be hard for him, " she muttered. "He must have had a very close bond with that boy, perhaps stronger than any other he's had. To give that up, to except that Sasuke had thrown it away…" Kira let her thought hang as she pressed her lips together.

She'd never had a bond like that, not really. Sure, Aya and Kankurō were close to her, the later even like a brother. But she'd never had a bond with someone who had accepted her as she was, when they themselves had suffered just as much, or more.

Except… did she?

Glancing at Gaara again, she took his moment of distraction to question herself. Perhaps she was wrong. It might have been a new friendship, only a few months long; but Gaara had accepted her without hesitation, much like she had for him.

How much would it hurt for him to abandon her now?

Probably not as much as it had for Naurto, who'd spent years with the Uchiha, but it would hurt. A lot, Kira realized, and bit her lip. She wondered if he felt the same, if he treasured their friendship like she did.

Tomorrow she would be starting her new roll as his guard, something that would feel much like putting on a well-worn pair of boots. It would be different though, because he would know she was there, and she wouldn't have to hide all the time. It would be a different experience as well.

Gaara rubbed at his eyes the way he did when he was frustrated and overwhelmed. He was looking at the bedspread he sat on, the dark purple and sky blue of the tie-dye brightening her room. After a few moments she hesitated and then spoke an idea that had been festering in her mind for a while. "Do you want to try?" At her question Gaara looked to her, confused and she felt her lips twitch. "Sleeping I mean. You might feel better, and it's not like you have anything to worry about, the one tails is gone so…"

"I…" he hesitated, looking awkwardly around the room. Kira felt the smile tug up onto her face before she really understood she was doing the action. It didn't feel strained in that moment, it felt normal, easy. Gaara caught her look though and stared for a moment as if her smile surprised him as much as it did her. Then after a moment he simply shrugged. "I could try…"

The next few minutes were the most ridicules moments Kira had ever had as she explained – or tried to – how someone went to sleep. Once they were in his room – it was huge, with quite a bit of decor that was shadowed since Kira had left the lights off – she'd told him to get comfortable in the large bed that really looked like it had never been used. He'd lain on his side under the covers, facing away from her as she sat on a stool near the head of the bed. He was restless and Kira had to stifle a laugh when he asked her what he was supposed to do now.

"Do you trust me?" she asked and his replying nod was given without a moment of thought. It made her smile again. She'd never given any really thought to it, but he really did trust her. He'd let her stay with his family, given her a job no one else besides his own family had even had. He did trust her, with his life.

Raising her hand she paused for a moment wondering if she should reconsider. Yet, what else could she do? She wanted so badly for him to finally, finally be able to rest. So instead of pulling back when every fiber of her wanted to she reached out and touched his hair. She felt him flinch under the contact before relaxing again and slowly, she moved her fingers though the dark red strands, over and over again. It was like a trance then, and a song she'd only heard on one other's voice peeling out of her own in a hum.

It was a low, calm tone, one that reminded Kira of days long past. Of nights when she'd been little and would wake up from nightmares she couldn't remember and yet would cry and cry till her mother came in and pet her hair and sang to her. Kira remembered many nights of that and could almost hear her mother singing the words as her lips vibrated the tune out in perfect accuracy.

It took a very, very long time, enough so that Kira had hummed the tune five times over, but once she was half way through it once more, she heard the change in his breathing, the steady, long draw of air that was unmistakable for one who'd fallen into the world of sleep. Slowly, she pulled her hand away from the rather soft hair and peeked over, a smile finding its way onto her face as she saw was his eyes closed.

Kira felt exhilarated by the sight and knew somehow she'd managed the impossible tonight. Not wanting to risk waking him Kira let the shadow of the room take her and in the blink of an eye she was back in her own room, having jumped from shadow to shadow as easily as breathing.

Taking a deep breath she felt sleep drag at her finally and sat down heavily at her desk. She would finish her letter and then get some sleep. At least now, she mused, she knew just what to write.

…

The papers on his desk seemed to have multiplied three times over since the alliance for the Forth Great Shionbi War came to be. Piled high in careful stacks around him, he wondered if people really realized that being a Kage wasn't what it was cracked up to be. Gaara stared blankly at words he wasn't reading on the next document in his hands.

It was only barely past noon and all he wanted to do was bury every single paper under the sand and forget about them. Couldn't people figure out some of this on their own?

The short tingle of chakra alerted him to the return of his raven-haired friend and bodyguard. Kira stepped from the shadows painted upon the far wall, the darkness slowly slipping away from her as if they were spider webs. She wasn't wearing her mask at the moment having just gone into town, the wafting smell of food telling him before he even really looked at her that she had been successful. She held two containers used for carry out orders from a local restaurant, and to his amusement, Kira also held the end of a dango skewer in her teeth, the three colorful balls slowly starting to sag on the far end of it.

She walked over the edge of the desk quickly, setting down the container for him on the only clear spot before using her newly freed hand to save her treat. Gaara honestly didn't understand why his sister and Kira liked that food so much. He found sweets to be distasteful and rather unsavory.

"Got your favorite," Kira spoke, eyeing the box. "Salted tongues and all." By the way her nose scrunched up at the words he could only assume they both were wondering the same things about the other's choices in food. He couldn't fathom why, his was so much better then dango.

"Thank you," he replied and sat down the unsigned document and reached for his food. He needed a break anyway. She nodded her head and moved over to the couch on the left side of the room, placing her box – or rather, large cylinder – of food in her lap and setting the skewer to the side for later. Popping often the lid she was greeted with pork and shrimp Raman, still steaming hot.

It was quiet interesting that Gaara's two closest friends both seemed to enjoy the same kind of food. He supposed she enjoyed it because it seemed familiar. As Gaara ate his food silently, his eyes looking over a piece of paper but not really reading it, he mused over that thought.

It had been a bit of an unsettling start for Kira when she'd moved into his family's home. She'd never lived with as many people and she certainly had never had a maid or cook. The first morning she been there Kira had walking sleepily into the room used as an extra kitchen and dining area and wondered around before simply looking confused. It turned out she'd been looking for the fridge to find something to eat to which his brother had snickered and his sister had looked concerned and explained that the chef would have something out for them soon. The chef had asked later that day to provide him with a list of meals she normal ate so he could fix her things in the morning she'd enjoy to which had apparently been startling to the girl.

Another incident had occurred later that week when she inquired to him if he had any idea what had happened to her clothing hamper. When Gaara had guessed that the maid had taken it to do laundry Kira had blinked, bewildered and then simply said, "oh…"

While a bit amusing to Kankurō, Gaara had worried about her rather easily seen distress for the first few day of her stay with them. Slowly though, thankfully, Kira had adjusted and soon enough fell into an easy routine at his family's home, now her home as well.

This part of her life, Gaara recalled, appeared to be the easiest adjustment for her. Being a bodyguard for him wasn't all that new to Kira, though the premise had changed and she wasn't constantly out of sight from him anymore. He could tell she missed her team at times and spent a great deal of her off hours with them. Gaara knew he would still require her to go on missions with them in the future, so that seemed to quell whatever sadness she had about it.

After over two weeks since she'd moved in, Kira had become a normal part of his daily life, often fetching food for them if only to make sure he ate something during the day. She stayed in the room, normally sitting on the couch and keeping herself busy, but knew when her job required subtly escaping into the shadows whenever another entered the room or when Gaara went to a different part of the building or village. She was meant to be the silent unknown defense for him to most, and only appeared to others when he called upon her, mask always in place.

"Hey Gaara?" her voice broke his thoughts and Gaara looked to her. She was staring at her food, chopsticks in hand, unmoving halfway between her mouth and the bowl. She shifted a bit, seeming distressed for a moment before finally speaking again. "Kankurō mentioned it to me, and, well I'm starting to think he had a point." She glanced to him and Gaara wondered just what his brother had done this time. Last time she'd acted like this it had been because she'd been upset about a new puppet Kankurō had shown her.

Not that Gaara could blame her. Using Sasori's puppet body must have brought up memories and thoughts about the place she'd been trained – the scorpion section – as the puppet master had a hand in making it what it had been before Gaara had torn it down. Kira had since gotten over it, if only because she saw the benefit in using such an advanced weapon, but he knew it still bothered her.

"He thinks… well, I think, maybe we should consider sparing with each other," she said quickly, her eyes on her food again. "If we're working together we should be able to fight together, and how can we if we don't have any idea how we fight?"

It was a good point, Gaara acknowledged. While Kira had watched over him while he had grown up, seen the violent way he'd fought and crushed others, his fighting style had changed dramatically over the last few years. Comparatively, Gaara had next to no idea how Kira fought other then what he'd seen when she'd used her tonfa's in a sparing match with Shura, as well as seeing her use her shadow abilities a few times, though never in battle.

The idea worried him though. As far as he knew, neither of them really knew how to hold back when sparring. ANBU never did as it was the best form of training, and Gaara had basically never sparred with anyone given his power and place in the village. An all out fight could turn out badly and worry ate at him as he envisioned hurting her on accident in the heat of the moment. He had more control than that, he reason, but it didn't stop him from reliving what he'd done to Rock Lee.

He meant to speak his worries to her, but they were interrupted when a sharp knock sounded from the other side of the door. In an instant and with flair of chakra hardly even felt Gaara found Kira's spot empty, her food nowhere in sight either. She was truly a ghost in the room, he thought off hand and set his chopsticks down before turning his attention to the door.

"Enter."

A ninja walked in, bowed and then held out a scroll. "Lord Kazekage, a message has arrived from the Village Hidden in the Clouds."

Gaara nodded his head and took the scroll from the ninja, who then went on to explain what he knew. Eyes flickering to the empty couch, Gaara knew he'd have to speak with Kira's about her suggestion later. For now, it appeared his time would be spent doing more paperwork.

Such was the life of a leader, much to Gaara's dismay.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love poking fun at the fact that half of the main characters want to be Hokage in the show because they think it's some awesome, bad ass job... when in reality it's mostly just a lot of paperwork. Poor Gaara. 
> 
> On another note, the food wasn't random but is another cannon fact from the books I mentioned before. Gaara doesn't like sweets and apparently his favorite food is in fact, salted tongue. ew.


	13. Advice

The headquarters of what had once been the Scorpion Section had seen better days. It was buried deep inside a mountain of sandstone that seemed to grow out of the wall in the far eastern corner of the village. The same training area of stone and loose sand had brought back memories of blocked attacks and being left on the ground humiliated sparing session after sparing session. In the corner of her vision she had even seen a mirage of the blood splattered stains of her own exhausted body laying in a heap on the ground, the ghosts that haunted the recesses of her mind.

Not that she could very well see any stains now.

In the last hour the entire area had changed. The ground was soft, having been covered in a good few inches of mud from one of Kira's justus in an attempt to minimize the amount of useable sand. Said mud was hardly untouched. Footprints, skid marks and long gashes, along with a literal hole in the ground, littered it, carving out the tell tales signs of a battle. The only thing that was similar between the before and after really was that once again, Kira was on the ground.

She was sitting in the thick mud with little decorum, arms resting on knees that were spread wide in a rather un-lady like fashion. She was covered in mud. Her once bright blue top now resembled her black pants more then the sky outside, and her face and hair were streaked with dirt. The mud on her face was already starting to dry from the heat her body was pumping out due to a vigorous work out and Kira reached a hand out and scratched at her cheek, flaking it off.

All in all, Kira was a mess, while her opponent was almost completely unharmed. Not unexpected, but still a tad annoying.

Gaara sat on his gourd, using it like a rock in the mud to rest against as he waited for Kira to catch her breath. His arms were uncrossed, showing the rather silly amount of 'damage' Kira had been able to do during their very first sparing match. There was mud on his neck, and a small splatter of it dotting his left cheek. Kira had used trickery to get around his defense line, making him think she'd used her shadows to disappear during a sand attack when she'd really burrowed under ground in an earth style and come up behind him when he'd been watching the shadows in the room.

His sand had thrown her away before she could do much more then smash a tonfa down on his shoulder near his neck. She hadn't hit him too hard, just enough to break his sand armor, enough for him to know if she'd been using her blade it could have done real damage. The blade on one of her tonfa's had landed the only other 'hit' Kira had managed. She eyed the gourd on the ground; the strap on it was fraying in one area, towards the middle. Gaara was extremely fast, and his defenses were almost impossible to get through, but she'd snuck around one other time using her shadows and jumped out to cut him across his armored vest. He'd dodged it for the most part, of course, her blade only nicking the strap of his weapon, cutting a few threads in it.

He hadn't let her get close after that, though she'd certainly tried. It had taken her nearly 30 minutes to concede defeat and sit down where she was now. She'd only had one other idea, and Kira just didn't have the energy left to really use it.

The Stone Familiar justu was still new to Kira. She'd never used it in battle and only used it at all twice after the original summoning. She was still trying to figure out how to use the sister spirits properly. She would need to soon enough; it would be a resource she would need in the war. Maybe Kankurō had some ideas.

"Are you alright?" Gaara's voice startled her and she flinched, looking up again, and found concern written on his face. She knew from his hesitation to spar from the very beginning what he was worried about. He was afraid he'd hurt her. After all, it wasn't something Gaara was well practiced in, attacking without deadly intent. She gave him a tired smile.

"I'm okay," she assured him. "Just really tried and, well, annoyed, but I kind of figured I didn't stand a chance."

"Your fighting style is not well suited to go against mine," he admitted with a nod. "I did, how ever, find it challenging. You shouldn't be concerned Kira, you're nothing to take lightly."

Kira wasn't sure how to react to that, his praise. She flushed, her face heating up even more under the mud. It was a bit awkward in all honestly, and she looked away to eye her knees. It was embarrassing, but it also seemed to lift a weight off her chest she had forgotten was even there.

"Thanks…I, honestly that makes me feel a lot better, and not just about this." At his confused look at her words Kira let out a small giggle that wavered from her fried nerves. "It just...I never got tested, not like everyone else. I never had any of the exams required to go up in rank. It was just given to me along with my ANBU rank. Sometimes, it made me feel like I didn't deserve it." She remembered watching the other people she'd graduated from the academy with slowly pass those ranking test. It had always been from afar, during pauses in her job or training with Korin. It was just another way she'd been isolated, left out from the world she'd barely gotten to know.

"The training you received, while brutal and…" Gaara trailed off and Kira glanced up again. The redhead was fighting with his own words, fighting back the expression of anger that bled into his eyes. Kira wondered if he hated Korin now more that he knew her better, or if he had simply hid his feelings for her old master better the first time they'd spoken of him. "You did earn it. Never forsake your own value."

Kira gave a small nod of her head. "I'll try to remember that. Either way, I did kind of enjoy this. I think I learned a lot." Learning to deal with different enemy types was an important skill she needed to strengthen for the war to come. Who knew what kind of foes she would be dealing with? It would be far deadlier than any ANBU mission she'd had, simply because of numbers and lack of information.

"Yes," Gaara agreed, the smallest of smiles lifting his lips. "While our styles may not go against each other well, I believe that perhaps when on the same side, the effect may be different. "

Kira raised an eyebrow, taking a moment to think his words over. Truthfully, she didn't see it, not yet. Gaara seemed to have some idea though, and that interested her. Just not enough to want to go into it right now.

"…Next time?" she muttered with a smile. Gaara eyed her quietly before nodding again. After a moment Kira snorted slightly and shook her head. She didn't know when that would be; time was beginning to move faster now, and the armed shinobi forces would have to gather soon. Leaders and key players would go first, and as his bodyguard, Kira had already been informed she would be going with him. Beyond that though... "I don't wish to bring it up but," she paused, gaining his attention again before looking down at the mud once more, afraid of what her next words might do. "You haven't told me… what my role in the war is yet."

Almost everyone else seemed to know what they were doing. Gaara himself would be the commander of the largest attack force, and Temari would be going with him. Shura had been put on escort duty for the Lords of the Lands, and wouldn't be joining the front lines for a long while, if at all. Aya was assigned to the Medical core as one of the few sealing jutu users that would be there to ensure their safety against the risen dead. Kankurō hadn't mentioned what he was doing, and because Kira hadn't been sure of her role, she hadn't asked what his was.

"Your roll has been decided," Gaara spoke with an air of caution and Kira frowned slightly, looking at him. It felt like they were both trying to tiptoe around a tiger. "I just wasn't sure how to bring it up without upsetting you like before."

Oh.

Kira looked away, suddenly feeling the same embarrassment and shame that had come with her realization in the Leaf Village. Flashes of her behavior came to the front of her mind and she winced slightly. She'd meant to talk to him about it, but that had been buried by the grief of her mother's passing, and he hadn't brought it up.

Till now.

"We never really cleared the air…did we?" Tiptoeing again. Kira felt like her insides were bunching together in her chest. "I should have brought it up before, but with things how they were…" she trailed off.

"You weren't the only one who left it to smolder," Gaara pointed out, shifting slightly, catching her eye. "I look back and think I should have taken into account other factors. Thought about how my words would sound to you, and how they reminded you of things you tried to forget."

She wondered if he'd realized who she'd seen in his place that day, if it had occurred to him how much he had sounded like his father, if only for a moment. But it hadn't been him, it had been her friend and she had taken things to far. "I over reacted," she conceded, shifting her gaze up to look at the rocky ceiling. "I got scared and confused. It wasn't fair to you. I was selfish." She felt like she was rambling, throwing out half excuses for her actions. She bit her lip and looked at him again. "I'm sorry."

He held her gaze for a time, as if letting the words sink in before he nodded slightly. "As am I. It was something to learn from."

She moved her feet, mud squishing around her as she did so. He was right, and it was time to put what she'd learned from that into what was going on now. To listen and to think about the _why_ before reacting. "So, what's my role?"

"You'll be with Kankurō." No hesitation. He knew tiptoeing wouldn't stand for mission details. "There will be a small squad of eight hand picked shinobi that will be entering the battle field long before the rest. They'll be an advanced surprise attack divion team that will eventually meet up with Kakashi's group. I've assigned Kankurō as their leader, and you'll be acting as the recon main recon personnel in the unit."

It was straight forward, but Kira could see the merit in it. She knew from what little advanced information she'd seen that Kakashi's forces and Gaara's were on almost opposite sides of the battleground. While they had just practiced fighting together, it appeared Gaara felt her skills would be needed elsewhere. She also had a feeling he wanted her to be there to watch Kankurō's back. She bit her lip, not quiet happy about being kicked from her post but…

"If that's what you want…"

"The advanced forces only holds that role until they meet up with Kakashi's forces," Gaara continued, his voice holding a lighter tone as if he'd expected her subdued answer. "Once you do, the members will be breaking up in to separate duties. Yours, Kira, will be to Shadow jump back to me."

Surprised flickered though her and she found a small smile on her face at his words. Maybe he knew she'd be there to guard his back no matter what, but that didn't mean he could afford to not utilize her talents where needed. Kira understood what was required of a ninja during war. In the end, personal goals had to be put aside.

"Alright, I understand."

Gaara didn't say anything, but she saw him relax his posture; saw the smallest hint of a smile on his face. He gave a single nod, and Kira suddenly felt the same relief.

Letting out a sigh she rather unceremoniously flopped backwards into the drying mud. With that out of the way, she quite suddenly didn't care about much but sleeping. For a moment she thought she heard the redhead chuckle lowly, but it was over as quick as it came and Kira didn't have the will to care at the moment. For all she knew, she'd imagined it. They stayed in comfortable silence for a while before footsteps were heard from the only entrance into the room. The footsteps neared and then there was a curse and a sudden thud as said person fell to the ground, having slipped on the mud.

"What the hell?" Kankurō growled, and while Kira didn't move to greet him or even sit up she did hear him get back to his feet. "I come back from inventory stocking and hear from a guard that you two disappeared down here. What in the world did you two do?"

Kira thought about answering him, she really did, but Gaara beat her to it. "I believe we did as you suggested to Kira and tested our strengths against each other." He said it so matter-of-factly that Kira found herself cracking a smile.

"You mean you two spared?" The puppet master questioned. Gaara must have nodded because he gave no verbal reply and Kankurō groaned. For a moment Kira waited for him to tell them both they were crazy, but that wasn't what he said next. "I missed it!"

That, in itself, drove Kira into a fit of laugher that bordered on to hysterics.

…

Water splashed onto the plants from the drip line in Gaara's greenhouse in a steady flow that created little rivers on the dry dirt before sinking in, as if eaten. The Kazekage stood straight, his arms crossed over his chest near the water switch, his eyes slowly moving over one plant to the next as he let them drink in enough water to sustain them over his likely long absence.

It was quiet in the room, no sounds other than the drip of water and the gentle howl of the wind outside. Calm. Perhaps the last time he'd have this type of peace around him for a long time. The last time he'd be in this room for a long while.

He was leaving today, along with his brother and Kira, to the base the Hidden Cloud had set up. Final packing was being put into order at the moment, and he knew they would be on their way soon.

In less than a week, the war would begin.

All morning there had been an almost numbing buzz to the air in the village, as if that fact had truly sunk in. As if a week was so different than two or three. As if today was so different from yesterday. It was though; the finality of that seemed heavy on everyone's mind and Gaara wasn't sure how to ease the minds of his people. How could he tell them it was all right, when he himself didn't know? Times like these really demanded rulers show their merit, yet Gaara was unsure of how.

There was a knock on the door and Gaara turned as it opened, expecting either Kankurō or Kira to appear, telling him that it was time to go. To his surprise though, it was neither, and Shura stepped into the room and bowed slightly, staying near the door.

"I was told to inform you your group is ready to depart whenever you see fit, Lord Kazekage." The aged ANBU was so different from his two teammates, his words clipped and formal, demanding a certain amount of respect. Gaara nodded his head.

"It is appreciated." He paused for a moment, debating on sending him off or not, before he let the words fall out, his curiosity getting the better of him. "This is not your first war, correct?"

Whether or not Shura was surprised didn't show on his half covered face. His eyes remained as stoic and focused as before, his mouth hidden under the veil. Gaara knew because of medical records that it hid the remains of a different war. "You are correct. I was much younger, but I fought on the front lines during the Second Great Shinobi War." He seemed to read through Gaara then, something that was unnerving for him, but he expected as much, given Shura's talent in sensory ninjutsu - the name 'The Third Eye' given to him because of the fact that he could detect a person's emotions and even thoughts through visual awareness. "It is not easy, any of it. You aren't the only leader commanding an army for the first time. Circumstances are different; better than last time."

It was startling, to hear him speak so freely, still not like Kira or his siblings, but less robotic, more sincere. "Because of our enemy?" The alliance was the only difference Gaara could really see from what he knew of the last war. Not fighting against another nation, but rather a single enemy with a large influence.

Shura's dark eyes held his gaze, unflinching, so different from Gaara's new bodyguard. "Because of the leaders." He paused as if he meant to say no more, as if his answer were so simple, but he must have seen the confusion that flickered across his leaders face. Or maybe it was something else he saw, something only he could see. "The Fourth Kazekage, your father, along with many of the former leaders were faced with decisions that hardened their souls. There are things they had their people do… "

Shura paused and after a moment pulled the left side of his veil down to reveal the damage left from the last war. The skin was dark and marbled, where flesh had burned and then tried to heal. It started near the underside of his cheekbone in a hard red line and then drew down, becoming thicker, wider and, angrier. A chunk of his cheek was even missing, causing that side of his mouth to look wider, showing teeth and gums through a black jagged hole.

Gaara forced himself not to flinch at the sight. Even if he had seen worse, had done worse to others, it seemed more horrible now to see the sorts of injuries his forces might endure on his orders. Shura let the fabric fall back over his face before he spoke again.

"I got that from an Acid Style User in the war, one of the strongest of the enemy forces, that your father didn't feel we needed to know would be at the site we were sent to." His eyes seemed to fade in sharpness at the memory, a hard one, even after all these years. "Arrogance at our own strength led to the deaths of many shinobi that day, including my daughter."

Gaara had known, he had read it all in the files, but it still felt like a blow to the gut. Because he hadn't known his father had withheld information.

"She was barely thirteen, just out of basic training, but back then, every ninja was put on the battle field, regardless of training or age. That is something I truly am glad to see has changed." As he spoke, Gaara wondered off hand if perhaps such an event, the loss of his daughter, had been why Shura had taken to sheepherding Kira and Aya.

"It is something we all agreed on for the most part. The Hidden Cloud will be using a small team of younger troops, but they won't be on the battle field, rather they will be relaying information and supplies." Even if the other Kage hadn't agreed, Gaara wouldn't have put any of his younger Shinobi into the war, no matter their eagerness. He's heard and read too many accounts where that never ended well, and where the loss of life was devastating.

"Remember that fact, that you're different and things will simply fall into place when the time comes." Shura held his gaze again, giving him one last slip of advice, that normally would have been overstepping his rank, but Gaara ignored it. "Just remember to look confident and the rest will follow suite. To win a war, one must believe they will." Bowing at the waist again Shura turned and headed for the door. "Safe travels, Lord Kazekage."

Once he was gone Gaara turned and retrieved his gourd from where it had been sitting on the ground and then turned off the water. Shura hadn't even waited for a thank you from him, but he didn't seemed like one to care for that. He was an interesting man, Gaara mused, and a good mentor and leader for the two girls on his team. Even if Kira was on different duties for the most part, Gaara knew down the line he would send them out together for missions again. Breaking up a team like that seemed a waste.

Gaara paused in as he was leaving the room, realizing he was thinking of events that would be happening after the war. How could he be so sure that they would all still be here to return? He had no way of knowing and yet…

Perhaps Shura's advice worked in more ways than one.

 


	14. Preparations

"I think you found your ace in the hole Kira. Well, besides your Shadow Shift anyway," Kankuro commented as he eyed the two pair of eyes – one set gold and one green - that were imbedded into the stone figures. "It's a little funny really… the form they took." He smirked as Kira gave him a small scowl.

Ryouko and Rue stood in front of him, both carved from the stone and dirt beneath their feet to form the very creature that her ANBU mask represented. Though they were a tad on the large side for sand coyotes, the moss spotted across their bodies matched the markings of the desert canine too closely to be anything else.

It was funny, but that didn't mean she had to like it.

"Yeah, well, apparently that's the form they'll always take from now on," she muttered slightly begrudgingly, her hand straying to the mask on her hip. Something she had been wearing during their travels but would continue to stay where it was once arriving at the gathering sight in the Hidden Cloud.

"The only changes will be the elements that make up our bodies," Ryouko spoke, her jaw opening to show razor sharp flint for teeth. Their eyes were nothing but holes, the light of their spirit color shinning out of them like a lantern. "The jutsu may be called stone familiars, but we can be made up of anything from the earth, even wood or plant life."

Kankuro nodded his head, rather unaffected by their eerie presence and design. Kira could only guess they'd both seen enough that nothing really came as a surprise anymore. "I wonder, could you slip from your bodies and keep them intact? Then make another one?"

Both spirits tilted their heads in a rather dog like manner that could have made Kira laugh if she hadn't been as interested as they were by her friend's words. "For what reason?"

"Well," the puppet master scratched his head. "A lot of earth styles are for holding people, trapping them, because stone and earth and wood are strong. A lot of predator type summon animals will be used for subduing their pray, tackling them to the ground, latching onto a body part with teeth. If they could do that and then leave the bodies…"

Kira felt the reasoning click as he spoke. "It would be like a holding cell."

"Yes, much like my Black Ant is, just not very portable."

Both spirits looked to each other and then to Kira and back again, silently communicating. "We have never tried it," Ryouko spoke, her sister bobbing her head, a mostly moss and dirt tail wagging.

"Don't see why it wouldn't work," the younger spirit chimed in and might have been grinning if such a thing were possible in such a form. Kira could see the possibility, all the ideas that her friend had given her to work with.

"We don't really have time to test it now, we should get back," she muttered, looking up at the dark sky, the moon a half circle among glittering stars.

They were in a rocky canyon like area, a good day of travel still ahead of them. Gaara was waiting for them back at camp and they had left him a little under an hour ago to fetch wood for the fire. Said wood was piled at her feet now, and Kankuro let out a grumbling agreement.

The spirits shook out their coats of stone, dust coming off of them as they did.

"We'll disperse for now then," the elder said and Kira nodded her head. Rue howled slightly, both their colors flashing before their eyes went dark and their bodies crumbling to the ground. It moments they were nothing but piles of dirt and stone. Kankuro let out a low whistle.

"Quite a trick you have now," he remarked, bending and picking up his share of wood. Kira did the same.

"Thanks for the help," Kira replied, "I've been so busy…"

"Yeah, I bet, and it's no problems. Come on, let's get back."

Kira smiled and followed him as he made his way back into the small out cropping of trees and brush. It was no forest, but in such a rocky area it was all they would get for cover since they'd found no caves. They walked in silence, as was normal when out on a mission, not wanting to attract any unwanted company. With war so close and most of the enemy unknown, it was unwise to be alone for long.

She saw the glow of the fire first - yellow, orange and red twisting and dancing, their tendrils reaching for the sky above - and then saw the campsite as they neared. Gaara was sitting silently on a smooth flat topped rock, one knee bent as he stared out over the land with an unblinking gaze.

When they stepped into the ring of light made by the flames he turned his gaze to them and Kira smiled, dropping her wood to the ground. Kankuro followed suite and then crouched, throwing a few pieces onto the fire and stoking it with a long stick.

"We didn't see anything out there, I think we're clear for the night," he muttered, plopping down on his already spread bedroll. Kira rolled her eyes and bent down to look through her small travel bag and pulled out a comb.

"I laid down some traps just incase," she added and pulled her hair out of it's tail, shaking out her side braids. Kankurō yawned, pulling off his hood and stuffing it under his bag that he planned to use as a pillow like he had the night before.

"Let's try to get some rest. We all know that once we get there, it won't be easy." The puppet master glanced to his brother and Gaara gave a nod, which was all the boy needed as he burrowed into his sleeping roll.

Kira muttered a goodnight to her friend as she combed out her raven hair and moved over to Gaara and sat down on the ground, her back against the rock he sat on. They sat in a calm silence for a while; the only sound was the repetitive sifting noise of the comb moving through her hair and the pop and crack of the fire. Her hair was starting to get rather long, much longer then she normally kept it, as it nearly reached the bottom of her ribs now when it was down. She swept the mass of fine strands over her left shoulder and set the comb down frowning into the fire. Her mother had always been the one to cut her hair, and Kira was rather sure if she tried she'd end up looking like she'd gotten trapped in something and had ripped her head loose.

It seemed to take no time at all for Kankurō to slip into dreams, his quiet, off tune snore alerting her and she sighed, running her fingers through her hair. "I don't see how he can sleep with everything that's going on," she muttered, frowning. She'd hardly slept since they'd left the village, too keyed up to do much more then rest and wake to every sound made.

"You're worried," Gaara replied just as softly, both of them wanting to not wake his bother. She glanced at him over her shoulder. Sometimes she wondered if he was waiting for her to disagree with his statements, but so far he had always been right.

Kira bit her lip, her fingers still in her hair. "Don't I have a right to be?" Everyone was nervous; no one in her age range had fought in a war. Kira had seen battle, yes, but not to this degree. She found her chest seizing up every time she thought too long on it. Her shoulders felt heavy with dread that came from too many worries to count.

"It's more then that," Gaara fished and Kira felt the twitch of a smile on her face.

"You're rather talkative," she prodded back and didn't have to even look at him to know he'd given her an all too patient but knowing look. Sometimes she wondered on how he could possibly be younger then she was. She looked at the fire again, her hand slipping from her hair to move to her belt to pull her ANBU mask free. "You're right though."

"You brought it with you, even though you won't be able to wear it?" Gaara questioned and she leaned her head on the rock, saw his dangling leg in her side vision. Kira stared at the mask, the odd dog like face snarling back at her. The surface was battered, scratches and scuffs roughening it, the carved and painted sign of Suna stamped on the forehead.

"It's…. You'll think I'm weird," she expressed with a frown. Though, if she thought about it, maybe he already did.

"You know I won't," he reminded her like she knew he would. It still made her feel better to hear it though. She chewed her lip for a moment her thumb rubbing at the mask's edge.

"I should hate this thing, for everything it reminds me of, and the reasoning behind me owning it." Esley and Gaara's father had said it was perfect for her. A desert coyote, a scavenger that has no home and takes the scraps left over by wolves. "But I don't because, I guess it's always been my shield, sort of." She glanced up to him and saw a flicker of confusion on his face as he waited for her to continue. "I've never gone on a mission without it, never fought a battle without wearing it."

For Kira, it was how she'd bee able to separate herself from what went on in ANBU ops. There was Kira, and there was Koyote, the shadow jumping ANBU. She wasn't quiet sure why that made her feel better, to take off the mask and there for take off the blood on her hands. Kira knew it was still there, in all regards it made no sense.

Kira was so lost in thought, she nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt a hand touch her shoulder. Her mask slipped from her fingers and fell to the ground as she looked up again. Gaara was leaning forward now, his arm stretched out as he tentatively touched her. She glanced at his hand, remembering that touch from when he had sat with her when her mother had died.

He didn't say anything at her explanation, but she could see from the expression on his face that he understood. It wasn't the first time either of them had heard of an odd way to cope with what their job entailed. Reaching up she looked back at the fire as she laid her hand over his.

"You know…Honestly this entire thing, it scares me," she whispered, as if speaking the words too loud would hurt her, as if it were as shameful as her old master had told her. "It seems like every time I leave someone I care about behind, I come back to find something bad has happened to them." Gaara had been kidnapped, killed, and revived; her mother had passed away. She felt his hand squeeze her shoulder slightly, the fingers curling under hers, as if to tell her it was all right. "Aren't you scared?"

When he didn't answer she looked up at him and saw he was staring at the fire much like she had been. His face was carefully blank, as if her question had flipped a switch. It took her less then a full minute for her to understand why. Her question, while normally simple, wasn't something Gaara could truly answer her. Because, as a leader, to openly admit to being scared, even nervous, could cause his people to waver.

Kira looked back down, her thumb rubbing the back of his hand much like she had with her mask. She had hoped that maybe because they were friends and they were alone that he might answer her, but the fact was that she was also one of his Shinobi. After a moment she pulled her hand away and he did the same.

"You should try to sleep," she said finally, "once we get there I doubt either of use will feel at ease enough to get any good rest." It wasn't like he could say he didn't know how, Kira had solved that over a month ago. It was true he didn't do it often, only really when she demanded it. It was strange, having to tell him to sleep.

"Will you?" Gaara asked after a moment, not even really fighting her on it. He must have seen the reasoning in it. Kira moved her hands back to her hair, methodically weaving it into a low braid for the night. As her hands moved she thought about that. She was tired, but realistically one of them should stay up, given that they were out in the middle of nowhere. She had a feeling he'd protest if she said no though, saying that he was use to not sleeping.

"… Will you set your sand up?" she asked softly, and heard the gentle hiss as it floated out of his gourd. She smiled at the ground, knowing that his sand would act as a trap for any that walked upon it, locking them in place where they stood. Between that and her own set traps, Kira had no reason to not nod her head in answer to his question.

She used her hair tie to finish off her braid as Gaara moved off of the rock and undid his gourd, setting it on the ground near him as he stood next to her. Kira tilted her head giving him a silent smile and gestured to their sleep rolls a few feet apart and near the fire like Kankurō's. The redhead looked a bit bewildered and she laughed slightly.

It was still oddly funny to her that sleeping seemed worrisome to him, but Kira knew it helped. An hour later, after quiet humming, the crackle of the fire keeping beat, both teens laid asleep side by side with peaceful smiles lingering on their faces.

…

The fortress was enormous. Foundation built into rock, the highest of its points capped with low clouds. In its shadow stood rows upon rows of barracks, stocked and ready for the troops that would come in less than a week. For now, only the fortress housed people, those that had been called ahead for final planning and arrangements; the Kage, their advisors, the leaders of each regiment, and key players in the war.

Gaara hadn't bothered with the traditional robes since this wasn't some formal meeting like the summit – a gathering that had been nothing but mind games and the careful testing of each other's strength – as he walked down the hall towards the meeting room. On the outside, Gaara had put on his calm mask, constructed to hide the fact that his heart hammered in his chest and that his mind flew at the same speed.

He hadn't answered Kira's question that night about fear or uneasiness; he couldn't have. That didn't mean he didn't feel them though, as he was sure everyone did, even the veterans. Slightly behind him and flanking him were his brother and his bodyguard, both in gear like him, with weapons strapped on. It was a show of might, of readiness and unfailing strength, something they both needed to prove as members of the advanced unit.

From the corner of his eye he saw Kira's hand twitch, flexing for a mask that had been left in her room. She was worried just like he was, though you'd have to know her to be able to tell. She was cunning though, and that worrisome fidgeting would focus once the task was at hand. Kankurō looked as at ease as he always was with these situations. His brother had always adapted well, digesting information and getting a feel for a situation quickly and without fret.

Gaara had made the right choices, that was the one thing he was sure of as they walked through the threshold into the gapping meeting room that most certainly would have echoed if it had been bare walled. A large round table stood in the center, several already seated, while many others stood around in small two or three people groups.

The Raikage stood with his two right hand men, along with a younger ninja that Gaara recognized as the hidden Cloud's member Gaara had picked out for the advanced squad. The Mizukage was fretting over the young Seventh Swordsman from before, a few of her other subordinates standing off to the side looked at the scene their leader was making. Gaara's only really trusted ally, the Hokage, was already sitting down, her chin on her raised hand. Seeing Tsunade was a relief, as it had seemed she might not make it for a long while. Her would be replacement Kakashi – also one of the battalion leaders – stood near her off to the side, his nose in a book. It appeared Gaara and his company weren't the last to arrive, as the Suchikage was nowhere to be found.

The young ruler made his way towards the table, his brother and friend both following behind him. When they were almost to the table, a voice stopped his bodyguard instantly.

"Kira?" The voice belonged to a male Leaf shinobi Gaara wasn't sure he'd ever really met. He seemed vaguely familiar, but no name came to mind. Kira on the other hand seemed to know him and took a few steps away to meet the pale skinned boy half way.

"Sai, it's good to see you." She smiled slightly, her carefully hidden worries making it harder for her to focus on pleasantries. Gaara wished there was a way to reassure her that things would be all right, but to do so would be a lie, and he knew that wouldn't help in the end. It never did.

"I'm surprised to see you here," Sai remarked and Gaara saw how he looked her over in a passive way, eyeing her weapons and gear.

"Could say the same of you," Kira muttered eyes flashing to the ground and gluing themselves there. Gaara watched as she reached up and pulled at a piece of her hair.

"Lord Kazekage," the blond leader's voice drew Gaara's attention and he turned his attention again before finishing his journey to the table and taking a seat next to her. Kankurō placed himself behind his chair, back to them as he watched his friend speak with the Leaf boy.

"It is good to see you're well," Gaara said, nodding to Tsunade. The older women gave a crooked smirk.

"Takes a lot to kill some one like me," she grunted, "have to be durable to lead."

Gaara couldn't agree more with that. "And have trusted allies." He muttered off hand. The Hokage tilted her head and Kakashi, who had been silent, gave a nod of his head in agreement. Gaara had read his file, so it came as to no surprise that the Copy Ninja would believe such a thing.

"Speaking of," Tsunade said off hand, eyes sliding behind him. "Unless your sister dyed her hair black, you have someone else in your circle now."

Gaara didn't have to look behind him to know that she was speaking of Kira who was more then likely still talking with Sai. He supposed he should have known that people would realize the difference.

"Kira is part of the advanced squad, so she had to be here. Temari is going to be helping lead our main troops to the Cloud," he explained simply. "She is also a trusted friend to both myself and Kankurō."

"She's the one I spoke to you of, the one that escorted relief supplies," Kakashi informed her and Gaara blinked, remembering that Kira had reported to the silver haired shinobi when she'd arrived in the village.

Tsunade hummed, a hand under her chin. "I see," she mused nodding her head. "Quite interesting."

Something about the way she said that worried Gaara greatly, and not in the normal way.

Any further conversation was cut short, as the Suchikage finally appeared, his two guards on either side of him while a few others trailed in further behind. The oldest of the Kage didn't apologize for his tardiness, nor did anyone comment on it, but upon his entry it seemed to send a silent cue. Everyone in the room made their way to the table, Kage and advisors taking seats, while others took their places behind their leaders. Kira joined Kankurō at Gaara's back, and he looked back for a moment and saw her staring ahead, her arms behind her back in a formal stance.

Mifune, the leader of the samurai division spoke first, acting as, once again, a mediator between the leaders. "We call to order the first meeting of the pre-war council. In less then a weeks, we will be at war." Heavy words, for an equally heavy truth. Gaara folded his hands in front of him, elbows on the table, waiting.

As was expected most of this meeting would simply be an introduction, showing trust by introducing the key players that would be commanding the troops, as well as other advanced units. Tsunade brought forward her key strategist, the father of the Nara boy – Shikaku – that Temari wrote to often. The Leaf and the Mist brought to light their main players for the communication line they would be using, and the Rikiage informed them of his assistant's transportation justu.

Gaara knew that the Raikage did this to flaunt his power and show his might. Gaara didn't really find that to be a very good tact, even if they were on the same side. He didn't approve of most of his father's secrets, but Gaara wasn't going to share anything more of his men then he had to. The included the people standing behind him.

"Our next line of business is the Surprise Attack Division. Lord Gaara and myself picked the ninja selected because of certain abilities." Shikaku spoke, his face half hidden behind a sheet of paper. Gaara gave a small nod, remembering the conversations he'd had with the older Nara through the communication screen. The man was more cunning than anyone Gaara had ever known. "This will be a chance for the nine of you to get acquainted over the next week. When I call your name please come to the side. Hoheto of the Hyūga of the Hidden Leaf, Ittan of the Hidden Stone…"

One by one Gaara listened to names being called out, each ninja doing as they were told and moving to the left of the room. Many of the ninja were either Jonin or Chunin, chosen not for their rank, but for their skills, a medical ninja from the Hidden Rain being one example, along with an earth user from the Hidden Stone that was known for his traps.

"Sai of the Hidden Leaf."

Gaara heard Kira shift suddenly, surprised when the boy she'd been speaking to earlier went and joined the others. Two more ninja were called up before Shinkaku turned the page over. "Kira Asasni of the Hidden Sand. And leading the team will be Kankurō, also of the sand."

Gaara felt them leave before they entered his vision, both calmly making their way over to the group. From the slight widening on Sai's eyes, Gaara could only assume they had both been surprised by the other's inclusion in the division. A few of the others eyed the raven haired girl, but Kira seemed to pay them no mind, not at all fazed with being placed on a team of eight men. He wondered if that was how she truly felt, or if she was just hiding behind protocol that demanded calm, collected actions.

Gaara turned his attention to the rest of the group. Kankurō spoke quietly with one of the ninjas to his left while Kira gave a bewildered look to the boy next to her, who was at the moment offering her a lolly pop just like the one in his mouth. Kira seemed to hesitate for a moment, eyes looking everywhere but his face, before reaching out and taking it. She gave the boy a small smile and then looked around, connecting with Gaara's gaze for a moment before giving a small nod.

Gaara recalled the conversation from two nights ago when she'd spoken of the mask she couldn't wear. He wondered how hard it would be for her, to fight and show that determination she'd had the first time he had met her. He could only hope one day she'd be able to cross the last hurtle in her way, the last remainder of what her training had done, and be who his family knew her as. This war would test her, just as it was bound to test him and every other person involved.

The only question left was, were they ready for it?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The war last like a whole 4 chapter and some of it's not even the war its self, so those of you like me, who hated most of the war that dragged on and on like a bad DBZ impression, don't worry.   
> :)  
> please review!


	15. Promise

The barracks were alive with movement, filled to capacity with Shinobi from all over the lands that now all seemed to be blending together. Kira stood off to the side, watching a group of Ninja hurry past her with supplies. The animosity of different nations toward each other was still there, as most kept to their own people, but it was still a wonder to see them living together. No fights had broken out at least, and Kira liked to think that was a good sign.

"Got them," the voice behind her called, followed by the ruffle of cloth. Kira turned in time to see the flap of the tent she'd been standing in front of fall closed and Tenten appear from within. The weapons master held up two newly made forehead protectors, and handed the one with dark purple cloth to Kira. Looking at it, Kira felt a bit uneasy not seeing the Suna symbol on the metal, but rather the symbol for the entire war force. The Allied Shinobi. It felt kind of wrong to not be able to really represent her home, but it was a show of unity to the enemy, and Kira could understand why it was needed.

"Thanks," she muttered and began tying it to her belt like normal. She couldn't stand it on her forehead, it always made her sweat more. "For helping with my hair earlier as well."

Tenten rolled her eyes. "You already thanked me for that," she pointed out. "I really don't understand why it made much of a difference, you only wanted a few inches off. It's still likely to get in your way." She was right. Kira knew that her hair looked almost exactly the same, but it had been getting too long for her liking. As for her other comment…well, Kira knew that long hair could be dangerous in battle, even more so when it was within reach of the enemy like hers was. Yet Kira loved her hair too much, it felt like a right to be able to wear it as she did.

"When I was being trained my master wouldn't let me have long hair, he made me keep it around the same length as Sai's," she explained, tying off her headband. "The one time I tried to grow it out he cut it off with a kunai. He hadn't been pleased at my insubordination when he'd come back from his mission. My hair had been in patchy lengths for weeks. When he'd died I'd realized I could grow it out and my mother had started styling it in different ways till I found one I liked."

Tenten made a face that was somewhere between a scowl and a grimace. "Sounds like an asshole," she grumbled and Kira couldn't help but silently agree. She hadn't told Tenten who her master was, it would have made it too easy for her friend to figure out she was ANBU, and Kira wasn't sure she could let Tenten know that yet. She wanted to tell her, but for now, she knew it was best not to say anything. "I guess I can see why you'd want to wear it long then."

"Let's go find something to eat," Kira suggested, and her friend nodded. They started off, walking through the barracks. Some tempary food shops had been put up near the main building, and even though it was an odd time – two in the afternoon – they were still bustling with hungry ninja. They got in line for tempura and rice, a good five people in front of them. Kira shifted, tugging at her hair for a moment before sighing.

"What's up?" Tenten asked, tilting her head, seeming to understand the raven haired teen's fidgeting rather well. It was interesting how quickly Tenten had gotten to know Kira, even though this was only the second time they'd seen each other in person. Maybe letters did more than she realized.

"Just thinking about tomorrow," Kira muttered lowly, not wanting others to hear. Tenten frowned and nodded her head in understanding. Tomorrow was, after all, the day of reckoning. The first day of the war.

"You and Sai better be careful," she grumbled in a slightly teasing tone. "Your running head first into the fray…who knows what you'll find." As she spoke her words got more and more worried sounding rather than teasing and after a moment Kira raised a hand and put in on her friend's shoulder. She'd told Tenten about her mission of course, most people already knew about the attack force she was a part of.

"We'll be careful, we always are, it's part of what being a ninja is." It was even more so what being an ANBU was. Being careful was the only way you stayed alive. "Besides we're all going to be in danger, so take your own advice, eh?"

Tenten shook her head, smiling slightly. Kira had a feeling the girl knew she was bluffing and dropped her hand from her friend's shoulder. The line moved and as they both took a few steps forward Kira looked around at the Shinobi sitting at tables and milling about. She saw several ninja she vaguely knew, a couple from her own unit. Then she saw Neji at a table and raised an eyebrow. He was eating, but he wasn't alone, yet not with anyone she'd ever seen before. He was sitting across from a girl, and from her gear she appeared to be Hidden Cloud and had short brown hair that just barely covered the top of her ears with bags that shadowed her eyes. They were a few tables away so her details were lost, but even from this distance Kira could see the band of dark green that ran across her eyes from hairline to hairline and had fang like marks growing down her cheek bones from it. Her feet, Kira noted, were also bear.

"What you looking at? Oh hey it's Neji and Reiska," Tenten said and Kira looked back to her friend.

"Who is she?" she ask perplexed. It seemed a bit odd to see the Huyga sitting with a girl alone, and the way they were leaned in gave quiet the statement. Tenten smiled, looking over to them.

"Her names Reiska Mu. She's kind of Neji's girlfriend." There was surprise in her voice and Kira raised an eyebrow. "Well, it's just that it's weird you know? Saying that. She came to the village a few months back, I think I mentioned her once in a letter… anyway she was assigned as a represented of the Stone, and Neji ended up being one of her guides. They kind of hit off…" She shrugged her shoulders at Kira surprise. "It's really cute, I've never seen him so happy before."

Kira looked back at the couple tilting her head. That was strange to think about, the idea of falling in love was something that Kira hardly thought about. She was always too busy with friends and work to even try dating, though it wasn't like she'd ever been asked either.

She was pretty sure everyone thought something was going on with her and Kankuro anyway.

She thought back through the letters Tenten had sent, trying to remember her mentioning this girl and after a few minute, slowly the few times she'd come up, resurfaced in her mind. The line moved again and they stepped forward once more. "…Didn't you say she was blind or something?" Kira asked not quite sure. Tenten nodded, a small frown on her face.

"Yeah, from what she told me, it happened during a mission. She got that tattoo to cover up the scaring." Tenten waved her hand around her eyes as she spoke. "Don't let that fool you though, she can hold her own with Neji even."

"Really?" Kira muttered curiously.

"Yeah. She uses these sensory skill she picked up from one of her senseis. She puts chakra in the ground and air around her to sense objects, and feel vibrations. She could explain it better then me though. Did you want to meet her? I'm sure she wouldn't mind."

"Maybe," Kira muttered ducking her head, not quite sure if she was up to meeting another person today. She was stressed as it was. "I'm kind of surprised…" she fished gaining her friend's attention again. "I kind of thought… you liked him?" At least that's what Kira had drawn her conclusion to. Tenten always spoke so highly of Neji, speaking more about him then her other teammates.

Tenten flushed looking startled but oddly not embarrassed. "Me and Neji?" she confirmed and Kira nodded. "Gods no. I mean, yeah he's nice and stuff but… " She shrugged her shoulders. "He's kind of like a brother to me. Sort of."

"Oh. Sorry," Kira muttered, embarrassed and tugged on her tail of hair once again.

"It's alright," Tenten mused, smiling. "I think a lot of people misread our group of friends, always trying to pair us all up." She snorted still smiling. "It's all kind of silly, but I guess they're not wrong completely…"

As they moved forward again, only one person ahead of them in line now, Kira tilted her head at her friend. Was there something more to what she was saying? Maybe Kira hadn't misread her friend's feeling completely, just pinpointed them on the wrong person? She was curious, but also knew this was not the time nor place to talk about such things as crushes. It wasn't like Kira could offer anything in return anyway.

"Maybe you'll tell me about it, once this is all over?" Kira asked finally and Tenten blinked, meeting her gaze for a moment before Kira looked behind her, cursing herself once more for her shyness.

"It's a deal," her friend replied with a smile and then stepped forward as the order window was freed up. Kira smiled after her, looking at her friend's back as she ordered. That conversation would be something to look forward to, perhaps the first thing she'd looked forward to in weeks.

Glancing back to Neji and the Hidden Stone girl she saw that they had just finished and were getting up to leave. Tenten's teammate smiled at the girl, taking her hand and leading her away, none the wiser to his onlookers. It took great courage to find happiness such as that in the face of so much fear and hate. Kira could only hope one day she'd know that feeling as well.

Turning back, she moved forward when Tenten waved her over to order her food. She would enjoy what little time she had left to get things in order, and then, tomorrow, it would begin.

…

He found Kira in the room she'd been sharing with Temari, sharpening the hidden blades on her Tonfas. She didn't seem to see him there, her head cocked down, concentrating on moving the slim blade across the whetstone. The constant, even sound of the metal scrapping across it was like a calm heartbeat; something Gaara was sure wasn't the case for the girl herself. She was good at hiding it though, the trained mask that she'd been forced to create under Scorpion Section's leader, though, now that Gaara thought about it, maybe that could be said for every ninja, not just the ANBU.

"You're lurking again," she muttered, the sound of the blade pausing as she looked up. Gaara blinked, realizing he should have known she knew he was there. He doubted she felt she could put her guard down when she was alone here. She gave him a small smile, her hand releasing its grip on the pressure plat that kept the blade out. She twirled it around in her hand as she tilted her head, eyes shifting off of him to look slightly behind them. "What's up?" she asked evenly before her eyes caught sight of something on him and her smile grew just a bit shy. "Oh! You found it… do you like it?"

Her question was directed at Gaara's gear, or rather, at the strap that held his weapon to his back. It was part of the reason Gaara had come to find her. When he'd gone to his room this morning to retrieve his gear he'd found the strap attached to his gourd had been replaced. The gold and burgundy design was made of over a dozen flat leather strings, weaved together in an ornate design that Gaara had found was rather strong despite it's complexity.

It had nearly screamed Kira in every way.

The redhead had been surprised to say the least, running a hand over it and memorizing the pattern. He couldn't remember the last time someone had given him something beside his siblings. He didn't wish to make a big deal out of it – after all the fact that she had simply put it on there and not given it to him directly meant she didn't want to call attention to it either – but Gaara still found himself wanting to thank her.

"Yes," he said easily, because it was true. She had even remembered the color he had said was his favorite – though really he wasn't sure it was, he just hadn't wanted to say nothing – and the red seemed rather close to his own hair color. She'd taken her time with it, that much was easy to see. "I am… curious to know why though." It seemed a rather odd time to be giving gifts, with war on their doorsteps.

Kira shifted in her seat, looking down and fiddling with her weapons. "I damaged your last one," she explained. "When we spared, I weakened it. I was worried, that it might become a liability in battle. That it might break."

Gaara remembered that day, but found it odd that she had been worried about it for so long. The strap hadn't been that damaged, but apparently her worry had gotten the better of her. She always seemed to think about his – and everyone else's, but especially his – safety first.

"I figured...better safe than sorry," she continued, sounding worried then, and Gaara realized he hadn't said anything to reassure her. He raised a pale brow and then nodded his head.

"I appreciate it. Thank you, Kira."

"Of course. Besides I had said I would make you something a while back, so I was just… making good on that." She tugged at her hair a bit glancing up at him again. Gaara just nodded his head, remembering that from one of their talks together. He supposed he hadn't really thought she would do it. "Was that why you came to see me?" She spoke again, tilting her head slightly, and Gaara had to mentally shake himself from his thoughts.

No. That hadn't been the only reason, but it had been a good excuse to come find her.

Gaara took the steps needed to join her near the window seat and paused, really taking in her gear for the first time that day. She was dressed for battle – same as him – her blue shirt all but covered by the mandatory Suna styled vest armor. Her hand wraps had been replaced with fingerless gloves, metal arm guards attached to the back of them. Her legs were much the same, metal shin guards covering part of her ninja shoes and black pants. She was wearing her travel belt, which held five small pouches with supplies in them, as well as her tonfa holster on her upper leg.

"Your team will be leaving soon," He said offhand shifting slightly. "I wanted to see you before you left." He almost hadn't, thinking it might have been best to not break her focus, but then he'd found something, and wanted to give it to her. Honestly, he wasn't very good at this, and now he was avoiding mentioning it all together. She looked to him again and smiled wider this time, as if something were funny.

"I was about to come find you, make sure the strap was okay… guess you beat me to it." She placed her weapons back in her leg holster and stood up. Gaara waited for her to continue, but she didn't. Instead she checked her belt and her gloves in a robotic motion. Was that really all she had planned to say to him?

"Kira?" he questioned taking a step closer, which got the effect he wanted. She snapped back to attention, their eyes locking for a moment before she bit her lip, shifting her gaze from his again.

"I don't know," she started, shifting her feet. "I don't want to say good bye or good luck, but I don't know what I should say… see you soon maybe?" She struggled with her words for a moment, looking frustrated before simply sighing and shaking her head.

Maybe she was more rattled then she appeared. Gaara had thought she might be. He took another step forward, reaching into a side pouch at his waist to retrieve something smooth and cylindrical in shape. He should give it to her before he came up with another way to put it off.

"Kira?" he tried again and she looked at him a bit less jarringly, tilting her head. He lifted his hand, palm down and waited for a moment. When she simply stared at the hand he held back a sigh and said, "This is for you."

"Oh," she sounded surprised, eyebrows raising before she took the needed steps to close the distance, and moved an open palm under his waiting hand. He gave the container to her and she withdrew it, looking at his gift, one brow arching more than before.

It had bothered him, what she had said the night before they had arrived at the compound. She'd spoken of vulnerability, of fear, and of having no way to shield herself from what would occur. He had not said it, but he had wished she had been able to wear the mask. Even if he didn't approve, it might have boosted her confidence. She couldn't though, so the redhead was forced to simply try to not think about it, seeing no solution to her problem.

Until that morning when Kankurō had been getting ready.

It had been a miracle all on its own really; that a vender had still had some to sell, and maybe even fate that it had been the right color. He watched as Kira looked down at the small container looking confused at first and then startled. She met his gaze again, brows pulled together.

"Paint?" she muttered in confusion and Gaara almost smiled at the curiosity seeping into her tone. It wasn't just a random paint, it wasn't meant for walls or decor. It was a face paint, something many shinobi used to decorate their faces – like his brother – as it took days for it to fade unless a solvent was applied.

"It is the same thing Kankurō uses, just a different color," he said easily glancing at the container in her hand. "You can't wear your mask… but you can create one, with this." At his words Kira shifted her gaze back down to it, and frowned for a moment.

She seemed to think it over for a few moments, maybe trying to understand what he meant by it, before he saw a small smile replace the frown. "You didn't have to do this," she murmured, glancing to him again. She looked… not shocked, but something else. "Thank you." She unscrewed the cap and peered inside, her smile widening. "It's even my favorite color, I'm kind of surprised… you remembered."

Gaara raised a brow, but she didn't sound like she meant it as a insult. Rather, perhaps with everything going on, she'd thought something so small would slip through. "I did," he muttered, shifting a bit. She smiled and then turned, walking over to a small mirror and staring at her reflection. He wasn't sure why, but her eagerness made him happy. Accomplished.

He would need to leave soon, as would she. Kira's team would leave before everyone else, and time seemed to have a way of spinning too fast. For now, though, he cherished the last few minutes of calm they had together.

"Umm…" Kira turned back around, still gripping the open paint container. She'd hadn't done much, just a three finger wide swipe from temple to temple over her eyes and nose, and fang like marks pointing down from it, framing her face. "I don't… know what I'm doing…" Her skinned flushed, embarrassed and Gaara gave her a look.

Why did she think he knew what she should do?

Kira sighed, and sat down on the edge of one of the beds, looking at the mirror again, shoulders slumped. It was a bit amusing that something so simple would cause such a reaction.

"Sorry, I just...wanted it to look like something. Since you took the time to get it for me," she explained and Gaara understood then. Maybe she could feel the ticking of time just as heavily as he could. Maybe… she worried this was the last time they'd see each other. After all, hadn't she been saying she didn't want to say good-bye?

Gaara moved, walking over to her and standing in front of her. She looked up at him – a rare thing indeed, seeing as she was taller then him – and the worry in her eyes answered his guesses. He tilted his head, eyeing the marks she'd made, the sky blue startling against her golden eyes. He tried to remember all the different designs his brother did – Kankurō never seemed to wear it the same twice – and knew those weren't for her. What was though? He stared at her, and thought about things that made her strong, that made her smile. Then, just like that, he knew exactly what she needed.

Hesitantly, the redhead reached forward and dipped his pointer finger and thumb into the inky paint. He rubbed the fingers together for a moment eyeing her face again. Kira looked bewitched, staring at him unblinking for a moment before she seemed to understand he was trying to help, and closed her eyes, staying still.

Gaara wasn't sure what he was doing, but that didn't stop his hand from moving to her face, his thumb touching the edge of her nose and then swiping upward, over the ridge of her nose, between her eyebrows and then stopping more than half way up her forehead. Her skin was warm, soft like he hadn't thought it would be. Also fragile, breakable, where as the will and spirit he admired, was not.

He concentrated on the image in his mind, back tracking down the line to the near center of her forehead and taking both wet appendages, touching then together on the line and then, striking them apart, in a strait line across for about an inch. He paused for a moment, uncertain again, but knowing it was to late to turn back. He wanted to finish, not just for himself, but also for her. He moved his hand down, and touched below her lips, lining up his thumb with the line on her nose and then drew down, under her chin and part back down her neck. Then at the base of the line he drew the straight line like a necklace tight around her neck and pulled his hand away.

Kira opened her eyes after a few moments, looking to him for a second and then to the mirror, and tilted her head at the new markings. After a moment, her eyes widened and she bit her lip, recognizing them.

"These… they're…" her voice caught and she cleared her throat. "This is one of my mom's designs," she muttered quietly. Gaara nodded his head.

"You showed me a few of her pieces a while back, I remembered this one," he explained. The design had been more than what he had done of course, but he'd done the bold lines on it. "It reminded me of a tree, its branches reaching up to the sky, its roots deep in the earth. It's strong, even against great odds."

He wanted to instill that feeling in her, he wanted to tell her that, but wasn't sure how. Kira looked at her reflection for a few more moments and then smiled, closing her eyes for a moment in thought. Gaara's inked fingers tingled, and he clenched his hand together. He felt jumpy suddenly, edgy and yet not distressed in a normal sense. Something about the way she smiled as she looked in the mirror left warmth spreading through him. What was this feeling? It seemed so much more different then just joy or satisfaction. He didn't know, and for once, he didn't mind not knowing.

"You know, next month, the fire flies should start showing up," Kira said suddenly, and rather randomly. Gaara raised a brow once more at her, her change of subject leaving his pondering untended to. She just smiled and stood up, standing next to him. "Do you want to catch some with me Gaara? It could be fun." She smiled at him, as if planning for something like that was normal when they were going to war. Was this another one of her ways to distract them both? Kira always tried so hard to not think about the negative parts of life, even the ones she accepted.

Gaara didn't understand, why was she acting as if everything would be fine? They were going to war, she herself had said she was scared that she might not come back, that he might not…

Oh.

His mind clicked together the answer moments after he'd had the thought. She hadn't wanted to say good-bye, or good luck. She hadn't known what to say to him, but that she had wanted to find him.

Because this very well could be the last time they saw each other alive. Anything could happen, and so Kira was making sure they had plans. That they had something to look forward to, so they would see each other once more and keep pushing forward.

A smile twitched at his lips. "I would like that," he answered and Kira smiled again and laid a hand on his shoulder, meeting his gaze. She seemed to be asking him something in that look, as if she were saying: _Promise?_ They just looked at each other for a moment and then Gaara raised his hand and covered hers much like she had that night by the campfire, silently conveying his answer: _I promise._ "I expect you by my side soon, Kira," he reminded her of her order once her team was done with their task. They would fight along side each other, and win this war.

She tilted her head, and nodded slightly. "Yeah." Then, she pulled away and tucked the now closed paint container into a side pouch. She glanced at him once more, and then, hurried from the room.

Gaara stood there for a few more seconds of time, pondering her words all the while staring at his stained thumb and pointer finger. He could get it off, but oddly enough the sky blue color didn't bother him, nor did the warm tingle that still lingered there, as if he could still feel the heat of her skin.

Running his clean hand over the strap she'd made him once more the young Kazekage left the room, determination lighting his way even more then before. Losing just wasn't an option, not when he had promises to keep.

Not when he wanted to see Kira smile again, her face lit in firefly light.

 


	16. War

They'd known the enemy wouldn't fight fair – after all crazy take-over-the-world enemies never did – but Kira hadn't thought it would be this bad.

Though, in all honesty she hadn't been sure what to expect.

"This can't go on for much longer," she'd muttered, her back to Kankurō as they stood close together, eyeing not only enemies but comrades as well. Bringing back the dead and forcing them to fight hadn't been enough for Madara, and now these white half beings with spikes had every single person turning on each other. There was no way to tell who was an imposter, not unless you hadn't left that person's side.

Thankfully, that was the case with her best friend. The puppet master had needed the backup, fighting two former members of the Akatsuki was anything but easy, even if you had help.

As if on cue, the blond explosives master shouted again from beside her, his voice muffled from inside the prison that was Black Ant. He'd been snapping at them every few minutes about being set free so he could unleash his art, but really, how stupid did he think they were?

"You're right," Kankurō muttered, his hands at his sides, but the gleam of chakra thread still strung on his hands. The puppets of mother and father, along with the shell of Sasori all stood immobile nearby.

Honestly, it had been a bit odd to see that fight with the brought back to life Sasori. It all gave her a bit of a headache.

"Why fight it? Become part of my art and live forever in other's eyes, hmmm!" Deidara shouted again and Kira scowled, clenching her tonfas tighter and taking a moment to kick Black Art in irritation. It was bad enough that the person who had basicly killed Gaara was right next to her; she didn't feel like listening to him.

"Hey, don't take it out on Black Ant," Kankurō grumbled, but didn't turn to look at her. Kira huffed a bit and looked around again. Too many of their allies were accusing others. It was chaos, though that was the point. "We have to do something."

"I'm open to ideas," she'd muttered.

It seemed a bit unreal to her, how fast everything had come to pass. Just hours ago Kira had been scowling half-heartedly at the puppet master as he teased her about the paint on her face. He hadn't asked where it had come from, and she wondered if somehow he'd figured it out. Once the team had landed it had only been a little over an hour before the war had officially broken out. Somewhere down the line, their team had been broken up, and Kankurō and herself had teamed up with the Samurai troop from the Land of Iron. They held their own pretty well despite not wielding Justus, but she could tell the leader had been relieved to see them.

That seemed so long ago now. Time had passed, almost two days of it, and Kira had gone from stalling and eyeing her fellow ninja to suddenly leaping forward to save one.

More enemies had come, four more powerful undead, two of which Kira recognized. Kankurō was fighting the first of them, Lady Chiyo, the elder who had died to save Gaara. The old woman had spoken to both of the stunned sand ninja for a moment grumbling about how unfair it was to be controlled at her age. Chiyo was one the few who had known of Kira's purpose in the village, as the elders were some of the few who worked closely with the previous Kazekage. She had known of Kira's place, know of her mission to keep others away from Gaara.

She had also been the one to order that Kira be put on an ANBU team after Gaara's father had passed. Kira wished she had been able to thank her, but life seldom works like that and thus Kira had been called away to deal with the other undead she recognized.

Kimimaro was as stunning as he had been in his Bingo Book picture. White hair, startling eyes and a power that was nearly limitless. A power that had almost killed Gaara and had led Kira to studying him even after his death, not because she had thought she would ever face him, but because he had been so dangerous.

It was that knowledge that was the only thing Kira thought was keeping her from being a corpse on the forest ground like so many of the samurai division. She told them to back off, to go help their leader who was fighting another resurrected. They had, a few sticking around to watch, maybe back her up if she needed it. She wasn't sure they could help, even when the battle had started simple enough, just the use of her tonfas and Taijustu, a few earth justu here and there.

It just didn't stay simple for long, not when sharp bone spikes suddenly erupted from the ground and Kira had no choice other than to jump backwards and with them following her like striking snakes, growing impossibly fast. One sliced into her cheek just as she touched the ground and the shadows of the trees snatched her up a moment before the rest could impale her.

She appeared behind him using his own cast shadow and landed a blow to the back of his neck with her weapon that sent him crashing to the ground. The blade cut deep, a move meant to sever the spinal cord and kill instantly. Except it didn't kill him, didn't even spill blood, it was like she had shredded paper and as she stared that paper began to float back to their rightful spots, and Kimimaro's fingers twitched.

Kira had known it wouldn't work, known that all of the dead brought back were immortal. Sheathing one of her tonfas she reached into a side pouch to pull out one of the sealing tags Aya had given her. They were imbued with her jutsus, and only needed to be activated by Kira's own charka. They weren't true seals but they would immobilize him and trap his chakra. She just needed to get them on the boy.

Things were just… never that simple.

It was her training that kicked in and told her she was being attacked from behind. Turning Kira struck out with her other weapon and caught the blade of a Samurai warrior. Or at least he appeared to be one; the wide grin on his face told otherwise. Kira let out a sound of frustration and dropped the sealing tag in order to stop a kick to her side from the same imposter. She pushed back, hard, and made him stumble, which gave her the opening she needed to cut his throat. Unlike Kimimaro he didn't regenerate but rather fell to the ground and turned back to his white and green true form.

Before she could even truly register her kill something smashed into the middle of her back, sending her flying forward to hit a tree. She lay on the ground a few moments stunned, tasting blood in her mouth as she blinked. Kimimaro was looking at her pointedly, and good as new. He'd hit her with a bone mass that reminded her of a club. Head still ringing Kira pushed herself back up again, grimacing.

Damn it.

This fight was so far out of her favor she wasn't sure what to do. If she just had the bone user to deal with things would be easier. Not good, but still better.

"You have a very interesting ability," Kimimaro muttered with a frown. "But that won't save you, I will do my lord's bidding, as I have been brought back to serve once more."

Kira raised a brown, the ringing subsiding in her ears as she realized that he really wouldn't have known the truth, would he? After all, he'd been dead long before. What would it do if she told him that Orochimaru was dead?

A sudden spike in chakra and a flash of orange startled Kira from her thoughts and seemed to freeze the entire battlefield. The figure was bright, covered in orange and yellow flames that made some kind of clothing. It took her another long moment for her to realize that standing before her was Gaara's best friend, Naruto. Though he certain looked different from the last time she had seen him – and the only time – he'd been beaten up pretty bad, still this seemed pretty different.

"Naruto," Kimimaro said flatly, and the blond looked to him for a moment frowning before looking around again. Kira wondered what he was looking at before quiet suddenly with a flash of chakra, he was moving and attacking the troops. Not all of them, it almost seemed random and for a moment she wanted to stop him, till she saw one of them fall and turn into a Zetsu. Moments later a tree grew from him, and as she watched, every single one Naruto attacked did the same, a small forest forming from the bodies.

Stunned once more all she could do was watch. Somehow he had found a way to tell the imposters from the real ones. How was he even there? Kira frowned, wasn't he part of the reason they were fighting? He shouldn't have been there, but she was suddenly rather grateful he was.

The question of how he was there was a burning shout in the back of her throat, one she knew she had to ignore. He hardly knew her, probably didn't even remember her. Plus, the middle of a battlefield was no place for such questions.

Kimimaro's growl at the boy had caught his attention, but he didn't turn to him till every Zetsu was dead – or so she assumed – and sprouting trees. Naruto recognized the bone user; a frown planting itself on his face. Would he fight? Kira thought about that, knew from Gaara and her own experiences that he was an impulsive good-hearted guy. It would be easy, she was sure, to let him fight Kimimaro; Kira didn't doubt that he was more than powerful enough. Stepping back was something she thought about doing seriously for a good long moment.

It was just that... it wasn't right to let him take her fight. She'd already started this, and how could she even think about letting him do it for her. She was an ANBU. She was Gaara's personal ANBU. She was his friend. How would she look him in the eyes again if she didn't do this, didn't pull her own weight? She was strong. She was not a coward.

"Naruto," she called out and took some steps forward, placing herself near the blond and between him and her opponent. "You don't need to worry about him," she said easily, her left hand twirling her weapon. "I've got him covered."

He stared at her for a long time, with eyes that she realized were amphibian in nature, and kind of creepy. She really wanted to look away, be her shy, unconfident self. She was wearing a mask, she reminded herself, a mask Gaara and drawn himself. She would not drop her gaze, not be who she was, not when he put so much faith in her. There was a flicker of recognition in Naruto's eyes for a moment and his frown slowly became that grin of his.

"You're that girl...Gaara's friend?" he asked and looked like he struggled with something. He couldn't remember her name, she realized, and found herself smiling slightly. Honestly, it seemed unbelievable that he'd remembered her at all.

"Kira," she said "Kira Ariya."

"Right..." He scratched his head before glancing back at the bone user. "You sure you've got this?" He was concerned. Kira wasn't sure if it was for herself or if he worried about what it would do to Gaara if something happened to her. It was quite possibly both, knowing what she did about the blond.

...What would it do to Gaara if something happened to her?

The thought distracted her, left her wondering, her mind spinning off in hundreds of different directions. He would be upset – of course he would, after all, he was her friend – but how upset? Kira thought back to when Gaara had killed his uncle and the one tails had gotten loose.

Shukaku was gone though, and she felt foolish for that thought moments after thinking. She doubted he would get that upset anyway; his temperament was in much better control these days. She had no way of knowing really, what she meant to him. It startled her how much she wanted to know.

The cracking of paint on her forehead when she drew her eyebrows together snapped her from her spiraling thoughts, reminded her that she knew he cared. Remembered his fingers gliding over her face. He'd gone to a lot of trouble to find that paint, so of course, he cared about her. How much? No, it didn't matter. Not right now. Not in the middle of a war.

Focus.

Kira took a deep breath and gave a sharp nod. "I've studied him before, I know what to expect. Thank you for making things easier for me, though. The Zetsu were a problem." It was a dismissal, not an ungrateful one, but one all the same. She didn't need a babysitter, and Kira was sure Naruto had more Zetsu to find.

"You shouldn't have to do it alone."

Kira felt herself smile.

"I'm not, I promise." She wasn't after all. She'd delayed summoning them in order to let them get a feel for Kimimaro's movements. They'd had enough time, and Kira suddenly felt the need for payback on being outnumbered.

She reached up to her face and wiped at the blood from the cut on her cheek – it had bled a lot more than she thought, a small line of red running down and below her chin – and rubbed a few drops on each finger. She turned fully to Kimimaro and without another word made the string of signs and slammed her palm into the ground.

"Summing Justu, Stone Familiars."

Just like always there was no puff of smoke or flash of light that occurred with most summoning's, no that happened because the summoned were coming from different worlds. They were not, Ru and Ryoko were always nearby, tied to her by blood, they lived in the earth. So, it was only normal that they would come from the earth, the spots of blood on the ground sinking in and mounds growing up and out.

The terrain was much different from when she had shown Kankurō, all sand, and stone. Here it was a lush forest and thus the large dog-like forms – that Kira knew were coyotes but certainly would never admit to it, not after the way Kankurō had made fun of her for it – reflected that. At their base they were made of stone like always, but with an open chest cavity this time, tree roots acting like a rib cage around the glowing spirit forms of her allies. Moss clung to them in spots, creating features on the stone and soil faces that framed glowing hollow eyes. Tails of leaves and ivy hung around the back of their forms, swishing as if it were bone and muscle, not stone, that moved them.

For his part, Kimimaro reacted only with a stiffening of his limbs in surprise as both spirits pulled back muzzles of mud and moss to snarl with stone teeth. Naruto was not so unaffected letting out a startled sound and jumping back, losing the cool demeanor he had been fronting for a moment. Kira felt a smile twitch on her mouth and glanced back at him for a moment.

"See? I'm perfectly fine."

Naruto surprisingly regaining his composure quickly, realizing that his exuberant response wasn't helpful and thus clamped down on it. He gave a sharp nod.

"Guess you do. See you later than, Kira."

His words weren't hopeful, Kira realized as he leapt off to a different section of troops, they were simply and stunningly a truth he believed. As if there were no doubt in his mind that after the war was over they would meet again.

Kira couldn't decide if that was naive or amazing. Maybe both.

Brushing the thought away Kira turned back to Kimimaro and set her face into a blank, calculating mask. "You guys were watching, right?" She asked the sister spirits. Both looked at her, jaws relaxing for a moment, eyes and chest pulsing with green and yellow light as they spoke.

"Of course, you know we see everything, we pay attention to your world when we feel your chakra spike," Ryouko said smoothly, her green light somehow muted next to all the green and brown of the shape she had taken. Her sister was much more vibrant, pulsing faster to match the speed in which she spoke.

"This will be so much fun!"

The bone user scowled and Kira's little pack focused on him again. Somehow they had to confine him and get the sealing tag on him. Pain wouldn't work, nor would amputation, at least not for long. Kira let out a low sigh and readied her weapons once more.

Fun indeed.

…

If someone had told Gaara years ago, that he would one day be facing his father as an enemy, Gaara might have believed them. Certainly in the years before meeting Naruto when Gaara had trusted no one, hated almost everything. The idea of facing off with his father and getting the chance to kill him... would have been enjoyable at that point in his life. He had wanted his father to die back then.

That was not the case now, nor had that been the case for nearly two years. Yet, now was the time that he had faced his father in battle, and thus, things had been very different. It hadn't been the fight he had thought would occur; it had hardly been a fight at all. A few attacks of golden sand easily blocked by his own. Rasa had been somber, unbelieving at the idea of Gaara's growth and place in the world, unbelieving in the thought of him having friends, people that cared about him. Gaara hadn't risen to his bait, but his right hand – still stained in sky blue paint – had tightened around the new strap for his weapon. Nothing too noticeable as Gaara's arms were crossed, just the simple shift of his thumb curling under the strap. His father had momentarily followed his hand, but whatever he had been thinking, hadn't been voiced.

What he had voiced turned out to be some of the most important words Gaara had ever heard. Laid out truths about events that Gaara had been so sure of that were now altered. A change that seemed to free him from something he hadn't known was there, nor could he truly describe what it had been. He hadn't been sure of how to take it, the kindness that his father had suddenly given him. The love that had been hidden for so many years.

It was a lot to take in.

Gaara wished he'd had more time to question his father, to get better explanation for things he had done...but time had been limited and unavailable. Now his father was buried, a sand pyramid covered in binding tags serving as his prison. It was the last Gaara would see of him, he was sure of that.

Three of the four enemies were now down for the count, thanks to the fact that Naruto's clone had appeared. Said clone stood next to him on floating sand, and for the moment Gaara took a second to look around at his force. There were a lot dead, far more than he had thought possible in such a small amount of time, not even a full three days. His sister was fine, as were key justu users, though they had lost two sealing experts. Naruto was apparently alive and fine, seeing as a clone stood next to him, cloaked in gold and black.

Gaara didn't know what his brother was doing, and he also didn't know where Kira was. Contact with their team had been lost shortly after the war had begun. Uncrossing his arms Gaara glanced down at his hand, at the now flaking blue paint and frowned. She should have been there by now. It had been her orders to come find him. Her powers would have been rather helpful in these fights, and her absence worried him. Were his brother and Kira all right? War was unpredictable, plans never stayed the same once the battles started, Gaara knew that. Three days though? Gaara rubbed his thumb over the side of his hand, making more paint flack off, leaving pale skin with a tinge of blue on it and closed his eyes for a moment.

There wasn't anything he could do, that was what frustrated him the most.

"Something on your mind Gaara?" Naruto's voice drew his attention and the blue eyes boy tilted his head. Gaara blinked, wondering if he'd done something to give away his feelings. The paint, he realized. He'd been staring at his hand for longer than intended. Gaara shifted his gaze around, making sure they weren't in danger again.

"I am simply concerned about my brother and his advanced attack group. There has not been any word on them for quite some time." He would have said something about Kira, but he wasn't sure Naruto would know who she was. The redhead saw confusion in his friend's eyes for a moment and then it changed to something like clarity. Like he'd remembered something.

"Oh! That's right, I totally forgot," he gave a sheepish grin. "One of my clones ran into them, your brother and that... girl, uh, Kira?" He scratched his head "I think that was her name anyway."

Gaara's pale brows arched, okay so maybe Naruto had a better memory than he thought. His clone must have dispersed in that area then, for this one to have that information. "Are they alright?"

Naruto rubbed his neck and sighed. "They were both fighting resurrected enemies when I saw them," he explained. "I didn't talk to your brother, he was fighting that old lady, the one that saved your life."

It took Gaara a moment to realize whom he spoke of but the last part of it made it clear. "Lady Chiyo?"

"Yeah." He nodded his head. Well at least they were both puppet masters, and Gaara doubted Chiyo wanted to fight them. "Your friend was fighting that bone user... Kimi... something?" He pondered the name, once again forgetting it.

Gaara had no trouble remembering that name and he felt his joints lock at it. "Kimimaro."

"Yeah, that sounds right," Naruto confirmed.

That wasn't good.

Gaara knew first hand how dangerous that ninja was, and the fact that Kira was fighting him... it was slightly eerie really. He didn't take the ninja lightly – not that he really did with any opponent – when Gaara himself had struggled to win against him. That had been years ago, but because of the reanimation justu, Kimimaro wouldn't be dampened by illness slowing him down.

Would Kira be able to fight, and win against him?

His first thought was, no, not because he doubted her abilities, but because those abilities didn't include sealing. No matter how strong she was, if she was fighting someone who couldn't die, then she would wear out. Just as that thought had ended Gaara remember the tags Aya had practically shoved into her teammate's hands. Kira wasn't a sealer, but she did have pre-made tags that could seal.

"My clone offered to help," Naruto said after a moment, drawing Gaara's attention. "But she didn't take it. Said she had it covered and then used some kind of summoning justu. It was pretty awesome." He grinned, and Gaara stared at him both wondering how he could smile like that during a war and just what he was talking about.

Kira had a summing justu?

Gaara didn't recall her ever mentioning that, nor did she use it when they had spared. It was something he would have to ask about... if they saw each other again.

"I see," he muttered, feeling some amount of relief at his friend's words. If Kira had said she could handle it, then she must have had a plan. Gaara felt foolish suddenly, for letting worry cloud his thoughts on her. This was Kira. She was strong. He had to believe that she knew what she was doing, that she could win. He had to have faith in her, as he was sure she did in him.

The faith she'd always seemed to have in him...

Absently he ran his hand down the complex knot work of his strap and let out an even breath. At least now he knew she was alive, that she hadn't forgotten to come to his side. He was sure she would, once her battle was taken care of. It was time to keep his attention at the battles ahead of him and to not worry about something he couldn't control.

Or at least that was what he told himself.


	17. Tireless

There was a time back when Kira had been under the training of Korin Isley when she had been put through the section's test of endurance. A torment of sorts, where he put other young Scorpion Section members up against her one after another with no breaks, no time for water or food or rest. Kira had fought for three straight hours, battling against seven different opponents that she had either subdued, or knocked out before moving on to the next one. It had been a test that had nearly broken her, and after the last opponent she had collapsed onto the ground, barely able to move, and felt pain every time she breathed. Korin had scoffed, waving off her next would-be opponent, and then left her there on the floor of the arena. Later, one of the people she'd beaten had given her water and then helped her limp back home. Kira never found out if the ninja had done it out of some shred of humanity they had left, or if Isley had ordered them to do it.

As hellish as it had been, she'd almost prefer it over her current situation. Kira let out a ragged breath, sweat dripping off her skin and onto the ground; sweat that Kira was rather sure was tinted blue from the paint on her face. She had no way of knowing how long it had been, but she did know it had been long enough that the sun was more than halfway behind the horizon and that she was running out of energy and chakra. Her hands were slick and trembled slightly due to the drop in temperature.

"Shit," she hissed out, earning concerned glances from the two spirits at her side. This was not going well and Kimimaro looked perfectly fine. Any damage she had inflicted had quickly healed, and now he looked at her with what she could only call pity or disdain. She wasn't sure which one was worse, though she knew for a fact he wanted to kill her, no controlling justu needed.

Telling him that the person he'd sworn his life to was dead hadn't been her brightest idea. He'd outright refused to believe her and now wanted to gut her for saying such slander. It was making him slightly more reckless; Kira had almost gotten a tag on him twice, where before any attempts had been denied by way of being skewered alive if she got too close.

Kira had never thought in all her life she would wish to be back with Korin, but she kind of did now.

Kimimaro gave her a small smirk, bones grown out of the skin on his left forearm in tapering spikes. She imagined that hitting her, goring into her skin and shredding it, and winced.

"It is a sad truth that the human body can only work so long without rest. This justu I'm under, it gives an unfair advantage and that I do regret. You have been a good opponent, if not enraging." He spoke as calmly as ever, the malice he felt for her an underlining edge barely heard. He was honorable. Kira commended him for that, but she wasn't ready to give up. Would never be ready to give up.

"This isn't over yet," she stated, reaching into a pouch and taking out a small handful of tiny blue food pills. She chewed them mechanically, barely tasting the attempt of blueberry flavoring that hardly masked the herbs and food supplements. They were a special blend meant to help regenerate chakra faster and give her energy. They worked fast; even now she felt returning strength in her arms again, found it easier to ignore the pain of injuries she had slowly been accumulating. She needed more time, a few moments of time. She needed to distract him and keep him from attacking. Maybe find a way to get the bloody seal tags on him.

She thought about how Sasori had simply been gone, not sealed. Thought about how somehow, finding peace, finding common ground, clarity, seemed to free the dead from the justu. Was there a way to reach Kimimaro the same way? Maybe. It was a thought that had been rolling around in her head since the fight had started.

"We're not that different you know," her statement caught him off guard, like she'd hoped, and he paused what she assumed had been the start of an attack. He frowned at her, staying silent, waiting for more. She gave it to him. "We were both able to stay where we wanted to because of a purpose, something that made us valuable. Made us tools. My abilities were the only reason the late Kazekage let me stay in Suna."

Kira remembered the first time she realized that. She'd been twelve, just out of the academy when Rasa had called her to his office. She hadn't ever thought about the reason she'd been able to stay before, too young, naive and wide-eyed to ever think it could have been anything other than just kindness. Kira hadn't thought anything of it when her mother had steered her towards becoming a ninja; she'd wanted to follow in the footstep of the man that gave her a home.

That had all changed that day for Kira. The truth had shattered her life, given her guidelines that she couldn't ignore. She hadn't been told specifics only that she was meant for something and that if she didn't comply that she would be banished from Suna. She'd been told to stop seeking out Kankurō as well, or endure the same punishment, not that it had become an issue once her training had started. She hadn't had the time or the energy to do much else other than train and sleep.

"And what was that purpose?" Kimimaro stated flatly, annoyed that she would have the gall to compare herself to him. "My loyalty to Orochimaru is not something easily matched. I was not forced. I was happy to have that purpose."

That's what Kira had thought too for a while. She convinced herself that her job of guarding Gaara was fulfilling, that she didn't need to ever see the outside world. "It's not that you were happy, it was that it was the only thing you have ever known. It still is, because once again you're being told what to do, being put in your place. That's how I was too; I was there to make sure Gaara didn't hurt anyone, that he was kept out of trouble and I did that for years. It was all I knew till things changed and that job was no longer necessary."

It had been confusing and Kira had been angry, but Rasa was gone and so was Isely and so she didn't have anyone to report to. She'd tried, kept watch on Gaara, and gone to the village elders and for a time they had humored her. When it became clear that he wasn't the same as before though Chiyo had taken her off the assignment, told her to take some time while they figured things out. She had been lost and so angry, had tried to keep watching him even though she didn't need to. It wasn't until she'd been assigned to Team Fukurō that things had changed and she'd started to realize there was more to life.

"Gaara?" He sounded just like when he'd hissed out Naruto's name, when his features had darkened for the first time. "That sand user is still alive?"

Kira frowned at him, arms dropping slightly in surprise, a wave of confusion over taking her. "Of course he's alive," she confirmed eyes hardening at his expression that only got darker. Kira thought back to the report of that battle again. Kimimaro had almost killed Gaara, but had failed due to the fact that moments before his strike would have hit he had passed on. Was it possible he hadn't known he'd failed? "You died," she said quietly, hesitating, wondering if he would react the same way he had when she'd told him about his master. "Your last attack stopped before it hit."

He stared at her, his weapon falling to his side, eyes wide and jaw clenched so hard it was visible from where she was standing. Then, after what seemed like hours, but was probably just a few minutes, Kimimaro took in a sharp breath and Ru growled beside her sister.

"I see...I suppose I will need to finish then." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. Something Kira couldn't allow. She bristled, her two pack mates doing the same.

"I can't let you do that," she warned, hands tight on her weapons once more. He narrowed his eyes at her.

"I see now. You are like me. Gaara is your Lord, your purpose, as you said." His words felt like a slap and Kira took a step forward instead of back, no matter how much she wanted to. He was right. That was how she had looked at Gaara for a long time, even after her assignment changed. Even if it had lessened, even if she had gained other purposes, other meanings to her life, he had still been the center of her world. It was why she had spoken up that day, why she'd been so upset she hadn't been there to save him. That had changed though and it had been Gaara who had changed that.

"No. He's my Leader, the ruler of my village, but he's not my purpose." As she spoke, she could feel the pull on her skin from the dried paint. Even if she was his guard once more, it was different. Very different. "He's my friend, someone I care about. That's the reason I'll stop you."

The bone user stared at her for a moment; their gazes locked, and Kira knew, felt, that he really didn't understand. It made her sad, if only for a moment.

"Whatever the reason," he spoke evenly, "it doesn't matter. You will not stop me. If I must go through you first before finding him, then I will." With his words a black pattern spread over his skin and his body morphed. His skin darkened and thick bones grew from his back along with a tail that reminded Kira of a lizard. The spikes on his arm grew together, forming a spearhead that reached past his hand. Lastly, a large thin spike was pulled from his body with his other hand and suddenly he held a sword.

Kira took a startled step backward, shock running up her spine into the crown of her head and then down into her chest like a live wire. He was a monster, that was the first thing her mind came up with as he let out a snarling howl, his eyes wild and murderous. Her second thought was that this must have been the curse mark she had read about. Somehow that didn't make her feel any better.

"That is dark chakra," Ryoko growled, her stone and moss ears going back. "It is not natural."

Kira gave a short nod but didn't dare to look away as Kimimaro let out a ragged, feral breath and locked eyes with her once again. A very long second passed and then he was moving, lunging at her, seeming to have lost the grace in his steps. She jumped backward, blocking the sword with one Tonfa, the sound grinding at her ears and mind as they slid together. He'd gained speed and strength, just as she had read and now Kira had to be defensive or she would die.

Ru launched herself at him, stone teeth wide and latched onto the arm with the bone lance before he can use it, biting deep and pulling backward. Her sister was right behind her, leaping over Kira with amazing height and using her front feet to hit him straight in the chest, claws ripping apart paper skin. Their co-operative movements worked and Kira was able to get away as the bone user crashed to the ground, both stone dogs on him, ripping at him.

Kira reached for a seal in her pouch and rushed forward, but the ground started to shake and then pillars of sharp thin bones broke through the earth from Kimimaro, piercing through both sisters in several places, stringing them up several feet in the air. Kira was caught by one bone spear that cut her right shoulder as she dodged away, leaving a gash that bled instantly.

Looking up at her teammates she panicked, and then cursed under her breath. "Are you alright?" she asked as Kimimaro stood back up, the tears and slashes in his skin and clothing repairing at a rate that seemed even faster than before.

"Fine, but we're stuck," Ryoko snarled out, struggling. Ru wined, biting at one of the bones. "We'll figure it out Kira, don't lose focus!" The warning was too late, and in those seconds of time Kira had lost focus, if only for a moment.

She saw the lance coming at her and ducked, only for the sword to come slicing at her. She jerked backward, bone biting into her cheekbone and up into her forehead, but somehow avoiding her eye. Her hands weaved signs and a wall of stone and mud erupted from the ground between them, giving her a moment of time to think, to breath. How can she get close to him?

How?

Her eyes went to the shadows her wall made and she rushed to them, just as Kimimaro broke through. Stone exploded apart as the shadows swallowed her up and Kira found herself in the inverted world. She let out a long breath, trying to calm herself as she watched through the windows of shadows on the ground as Kimimaro landed on the other side looking for her. His monstrous eyes swept the forest, his tail of bones swiping violently behind him.

Maybe she should say there, in a world only she could travel to. It seemed like the better option for a moment before she remembered why she needed to stop him. With every minute she stood in the negative world her charka was slowly being drained, and once it was gone she'd be expelled and helpless. A few moments then, just a few to catch her breath.

Just a few…

The world slowed and the weight of hours of fighting started to fall down on her. Her mind crawled with thoughts. Panic was giving way to simple white noise in the back of her mind. She really wanted to sleep, to rest, but she couldn't. She had to finish this…

A startled scream broke through her mind and Kira jerked up straight from her slowly slouching stance. She turned, glancing through the portals to look at what she had missed. Kimimaro was farther away now, and it seemed a group of the samurai she'd been fighting with had come to try and help her. One was already motionless on the ground; another was in the bone user's hand, his sword dropped for a moment. Kira stared for a moment, paralyzed. How long had she blackout for?

No. Not now. No time to think about it, to regret.

Just move.

She moved, jumping out of the shadow a tree casted, and bolting at Kimimaro, blade out on her tonfa in one hand, sealing tag in the other. First get the soldier free, and then deal with him. Her arm swung down as she made it behind him, blade aiming to lop off his arm and free the man. His arm wouldn't be gone for long but it was something.

There was a loud, metal tearing sound when her weapon hit, except it didn't hit his arm. Bone plating had formed at her area of attack in moments, to quickly to really see, far too fast to stop her attack. Her tonfa snapped, blade shattering and wood splintering apart at the force of her blow. The bone was hard, too hard, and Kira felt the shock of it up her arm, forcing her backward and making her reel on her feet. The tag in her other hand was all but useless as she tried to slap it on him and missed, fingers inches away.

From the corner of her eye she saw Kimimaro smirk and then the ground tumbled again and Kira heard a curse and a scream echo in her head as she tried to jump away and landed hard, falling on her back. White spikes appeared above her and Kira let out a scream as she flinched away from one and barely missed another as she rolled. The third and fourth hit, one cutting into her side in a glancing blow, the other piercing straight through her right leg, barely an inch bellow her knee, nailing her to the ground.

There was no scream to go with that kind of pain, only agony, silent and raw and shocking. She gasped in silent words, lurching upright and clutching at her knee, wrapping her hands around the bone and trying to yank it out. The bloody thing was long, the other end of it disappearing into the ground feet from her like a blackberry bramble. Blood was already running down her side and pooling under her legs. Her opponent turned to face her, his prey still in hand, still clawing at his choked throat feebly.

"I had a feeling you'd try to help them, your honor and ideals wouldn't have let you stay hidden, just like that sand user," Kimimaro spoke running a hand over one of the bone brambles. "You can't help them though, not now that you're trapped. That ability of yours, I'm guessing you can't take other people with you, where ever you go, or else when you first showed up you would have taken that boy into the shadow, not blocked my attack."

Kira scowled at him, teeth clenched to hold back a scream. True, all true. How had he figured out her Shadow Shift ability so fast? She couldn't move anything living with her into the negative world. When she tried they just got left behind. Glancing down at her leg, bone wedged there, she realized that if she tried it now, the bone wouldn't go with her. It would get yanked out, causing more damage to the already inch wide hole. She was rather sure the bone was the only thing keeping the artery in her leg from bleeding out in moments. She was trapped. He had played her perfectly and now she was at his mercy. She glanced at the broken tonfa near her, ripped in half and shattered. Its twin laid by her other leg where she'd dropped it. Not that it would do her much good now.

"Fine, you have me," she managed to gasp out, glaring at him. "Now let him go." She looked to the still struggling hostage. Kimimaro raised a dotted eyebrow and looked at him. Two long seconds passed before he answered her.

"Your not in any position to make deals," he mused eyeing the lingering forces around them. "Besides, they will all die anyway."

Kira only had a moment to let his words sink in before her heart fell into her gut.

Stop him, please someone… _move_!

"No!" Her scream tore her throat but the bone user simply slid his eyes back to hers and then blood splashed on the ground around him, and splattered onto Kira's face. She flinched and looked away from the body now filled with holes from spikes like the one in her legs, like the ones holding her two partners in the air.

Helpless, there was nothing she could have done to help. She heard the sound of the few other samurai take steps back, gasping in horror and anger. Kira looked back at the monster in front of her and glared. He was a monster, and now, he was going to kill her too.

There was nowhere to run.

Her chakra was all but gone.

She was done for, but she refused to die scared; she wouldn't give him that. Kimimaro seemed to understand and pulled his spear arm up. "In the end, my loyalty out won over your own." He took a step forward.

"Kimimaro?" The voice was new, confused and oddly soft spoken for being so deep. The bone user paused and turned his head to the side. Kira, unable not to look, followed. A boy stood there, with tanned skin and bright orange hair. His eyes were dark and something about him gave Kira a sense of weariness.

"Jugo?" Kimimaro said evenly, a slight confusion to his voice. "Why are you here? Did he let you out of the tower?" He spoke in a manor that told Kira these two knew each other. While she wasn't thrilled about him showing up, his appearance at least meant she was spared. For the moment.

"No," Jugo answered, shaking his head. "Orochimaru is dead, Sasuke killed him a while back. He's the one who freed me, and as you told me, I have followed him ever since."

The irony of those words were lost on her as something from above dropped on her shoulder and tumbled to the ground. A piece of stone? Kira looked over at the palm size mass, slowly taking in the moss dotted on it and the perfectly shaped hole of an eye socket. Kira looked up to where her allies had been and found only remains of stone and root bodies that were slowly crumbling away. Where had they gone? Kira hadn't released them and she didn't feel them return on their own, yet, the glow of yellow and green was nowhere to be seen.

"You lie!" Kimimaro snarled taking a step toward Jugo. "Who else would have brought me back? This is his doing!"

"That is what we are here to find out. Sasuke is headed to their location as we speak."

"Not-"

The ground exploded around them. Kira winced and barely caught sight of Ru leaping from the debris, her form new and perfect, her body smashing into Kimimaro hard and fast, dragging him to the ground. In the same moment, Kira's eyes were drawn to her side where Ryoko had appeared, green eyes pulsing.

"Kira!" Her jaw snapped around the bone pinning her leg down, and bit into it with so much strength her lower jaw shattered. Her job was done though, and now there was only a few inches sticking out of her leg from the top. "This is our last chance, do it now!" Her words mean everything, and Kira only had a moment to realize that the sisters had used the idea Kankurō had given them days before, and then she was up, pulling her leg loose from the ground in one hard yank. Blood splashed out, and Kira nearly blacked out from the pain, but the bone stayed in place so she threw herself forward, stumbling on her feet, hand in her pouch around her last sealing charm.

Kimimaro had just thrown Ru off, and was on his knees, Jugo shouting something at him, distracting him. It was her last chance, and Kira would not miss it, no matter what. She stepped hard on her crippled leg and faltered, but pushed off with her other. Kimimaro reeled his gaze to her and lifted his weapon arm, but it was too late. Kira's hand smacked his raised arm, slapping the seal on it with quick precision. A tiny burst of her charka glued it in place and Kira was thrown backward moments later, Ru having launched herself at Kira, dragging her back to a safer distance.

Kimimaro screamed as the sealing tag did its job. His joints froze in place, and Kira watched from her place on the ground as the curse mark receded, the boy reverting back to normal and his charka disappearing. Jugo was still standing yards away, his face calm and unreadable and he was saying something, but Kira couldn't hear it, couldn't seem to hear anything but the echoes of sound. Ru and Ryouko were in front of her guarding her as the two boys conversed with words she couldn't hear.

Blearily, Kira shifted her gaze up at the now dark sky and grimaced. The moon somehow looked golden to her blurring vision. It reminded her of the promise she'd made, of orders she was supposed to follow, and she realized she couldn't follow them.

She hoped he would understand.

…

Gaara moved on sore muscles and bruised skin in a way he wasn't sure he had ever had to before. Back when he'd been knocked out, captured, and killed, Gaara hadn't really felt any of the pain, only the sharp impact of a bomb near him and the straining need to protect his people, then nothing. Now he felt every inch of pain, every cracked bone and cut in his skin. He'd been certain Madara – the real Madara, not the one who had begun this war but the one who had been brought back to life and then somehow stayed alive when the justu had been broken – had killed him. He'd been sure that every one of the Kage had been dealt fatal blows, yet he was standing, as were the others, all thanks to the Hokage and her healing abilities.

She'd brought them back from having a foot in the grave but hadn't been able to heal them all completely, instead settling for only fixing the damage that was life threatening. Now Gaara stood near Shinkaku of all being, Madara fighting the first Hokage, the tentails ripped from it's host. The young leader was exhausted to the point of not being able to really feel it anymore. His fingers tingled and his head hurt, but he was alive. At least for the moment.

This had become a very strange war, even by shinobi standards.

He wasn't sure where anyone else was. Kankuro had never shown up. Neither had Kira. He wasn't even completely sure where his sister was. A part of him whispered that they could all be dead, and Gaara had to shove that thought away if only to keep his head from not spinning.

No bodies, no death. He chanted that for a moment, telling himself that until he saw their bodies he had to believe they were alive. Keep focused on the people he could see, on the danger in front of him.

Naruto had already gone after Madra with a fleet of ninja behind him and Sasuke next to him. He eyed the purple glow of the Susono, not sure how he felt about Sasuke's apparent change of heart. He wasn't sure he believed the rogue, but knew he didn't trust him. Not that it mattered right now, not when he was helping them. Trust could come later. Shinkaku had asked him if he was Naruto's friend and the redhead had answered without hesitation, but that word, friend, brought others to mind now as he gathered his strength.

Gaara glanced down at his hand. The paint had all chipped off in battle, but it was still stained sky blue. Gaara had a feeling that if Kira had shown up, she might have very well punched the Uchiha in the face, or at least tried. It was an amusing concept and something the sand user kind of wished had happened.

It hadn't though and Gaara forced his thoughts to the present again, knowing he was still needed and with the onetail's at his side, maybe he still could turn the tides. They'd already lost a great deal of people, Neji and everyone left at their base of operations included. There wasn't a soul left on this battlefield who wasn't grieving silently. They just had to make it through all of this; Gaara believed that they could, it was just a matter of doing it. After this was all done, he would watch fireflies and they could all put this war behind them.

That just couldn't come soon enough for him, or any other around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It always really bothered me that Jugo and Kimimaro were in the same vicinity of each other during the war at one point, but never actually met up, which I had thought would happen, else why mention he was brought back at all? But alsa...filler is what we got instead.
> 
> SO I FIXED IT.
> 
> Poor Kira, out of the fight already...
> 
> Be sure to tell me what your guys think!


	18. Perception

The world had become fuzzy and incoherent to her. Up might as well have been left for all she knew, as her state of awareness dimmed to nothing more than a whisper. Her vision was dark but she wasn't sure she'd closed her eyes and sounds seemed to echo in disjointed fragments that spanned the time of the universe. After a time, voices floated around her, still not really recognizable and hanging around her like fog.

"Kira!" Panic, loud, abrasive. Something prodded at her leg and the pain that had been nearly drowning her splashed over her again. She gasped.

"No, don't take it out. It's the only reason she's still alive." Calm, smooth, wise in tone. The prodding stopped and she nearly sighed in relief. "Sai, can you make a transport?"

"Yes." Even but with a restless undertone.

"I'll take her." The first again, calmer now but still abrasive. Something is around her, lifting her up, and the ground is gone. There's a rushing wind all around her and something warm is pressed against her side. It stings, but she likes the heat of it.

Kira is looking at the stars when the wind stops and she knows there are voices but she has trouble hearing them. Has trouble seeing the people they belong to. She was on something hard and stiff and the warmth at her side was gone. Fingers ran over her hair and there's a voice over the rest of them, hard and clear like before.

"Just hold on, you idiot." Something about that made her want to smile. Her lips twitched to do so but something drags at her.

She was floating in and out of her own vision, time slipping around her with smells and words that she can't truly grasp. When it finally stopped she was staring upward, vision still blurred and head still cotton filled.

Red. She saw red, and she was gone.

.

.

.

She woke to the sound of birds singing. Kira smiled sleepily and buried her face into her pillow for a moment, taking in a deep breath. When she got out of bed, she stretched and wandered over to her closet, passing dozens of pictures on the wall, showing moments in time, friends, family, events. Once dressed she made her way down the stairs of the tattoo parlor and opened the door into the kitchen. Her parents are there to greet her, like almost every day.

Her mom, smiled at her, the brown in her hair just starting to show some silver as she stood straight-backed at the stove.

"Good morning dear, did you sleep well?"

Kira nodded her head, still sleepy and took her seat across from her father. Akio was reading a scroll, most likely a message about his next mission. He scratched at his cleanly shaven chin and then glanced over to her. She quirked an eyebrow, as she knew how much mom hated him reading at the table.

"She's not done cooking yet," he said lamely, but rolled it back up anyway, setting it aside. "It's the start of your last break before you graduate. Less than a year from now and you'll be joining me." He winked at her. "I've put in a good word with the ANBU core. They're impressed with your skills so far."

Kira felt like she had a sun inside of her, lighting up everything as she grinned. Her dad didn't praise her often about her training, wishing instead to simply guide her along. "Thanks dad. I'm so excited, I can't wait."

"It's hard to believe you were once twelve and just stepping foot into that building," her mother mused, coming around the table and setting a plate down in front of both Kira and her dad. She moved back to the stove and was back in a short moment with her own, setting it on the table and sitting down on the chair her father had just pulled out.

"I'm eighteen mom, geeze," Kira muttered, embarrassed, and then focused on her food. After breakfast she helped her mom clean up and her dad left, going to work, saying he'll be gone a few days on a mission. She hugged him and he ruffled her hair, kissing her mom and then was out the door.

She left less than an hour later as a client showed up for an inking with her mom. She grabbed her pouch and clipped it to her belt and then headed towards the Kazekage tower where Lord Rasa and his family lived. Kira was across the village and in the building in minutes, waving to a guard who nodded his head in greeting, use to her presence as she climbed the stairs into the living quarters.

Gaara was sitting on one of the few stools in the greenhouse, near the back where the water controls were. His eyes were down, glued to a book he had in hand, an overall peaceful look to him. Kira smirked and walked quietly over to him, heart speeding up as she did so. She stopped next to him, leaning over slightly to get a look at what chapter he was on.

"Hey there," she greeted as his eyes flickered over to her and a gentle smile reached his lips.

"I was wondering when you'd show up," he replied, lowering the book and resting his arm on his lap for a moment to look at her completely. "Good morning."

"Morning Gaara," She answered grinning sheepishly. "You've gotten pretty far since yesterday." Kira nodded to the book and he looked to it again before back to her and shrugged.

"It is very enthralling, I should thank the person that lent it to me," he tilted his head at her and Kira felt his free hand run lightly over the far side of her waist. She laughed slightly, flushing, but didn't look away from his gaze.

"Yeah, you really should," she teased lightly and saw a smirk twitch across his lips, and the hand at her waist went from a brushing glance to resting on the curve of it and pulling her gently forward. In one swift movement he lowered his head slightly and brushed his lips to hers, an action that she had been expecting but that still made her heart speed up as she closed her eyes and kissed him back. Her right hand reached up, finding his hairline and running her fingers over the smooth skin of his forehead and into his hair brushing it back. His hand tightened on her waist at the action before he pulled back and sighed, content.

Kira was still smiling when she opening her eyes to look at him again, her chest tight and warm as she lowered her hand, running it down the side of his face, and tracing his jaw line. "I love you, so much," she whispered and his eyes softened and he pulled her closer again. She turned, standing next to him and leaning against his side, head tilting onto his shoulder. She felt his head tip and press against hers, his nose in her hair for a moment.

"I love you too," he murmured against it, before pulling back and lifting his borrowed book up once again. "Just let me finish this chapter, then we'll head out."

Kira smiled rubbing her nose into his shoulder before looking at the book as well to see how long that would be. A few pages if she was right. It didn't bother her. "Okay." They fell into a calm silence after that, both reading, her head on his shoulder and his arm around her waist. Kira couldn't help but think how perfect the moment was.

Gaara had just closed his book when the door open and Rasa, the current Kazakage and his father, walked in, looking over a sheet of paper as he entered. Kira straightened, pulling away slightly and Gaara reluctantly let go of her waist. When Rasa looked up he blinked, taking in the both of them and then gave a small smile.

"Kira, should have known you'd be here, I was just speaking with your father," he said evenly and Kira gave a small bow in greeting, smiling nervously. She couldn't get use to the fact that the leader of her village was so casual with her. He nodded his head and looked to his son. "Your mother wanted me to check and see if you would be around for dinner. You're welcome to join us Kira, if you would like." He stuck her with a firm gaze again and she twitched before smiling slightly.

"We should be back in plenty of time," she replied glancing at Gaara who nodding his head.

"Was there anything else Father?"

Rasa cleared his throat slightly before shaking his head. "I was going to see if you would help her in the kitchen, but I had forgotten you had plans. Don't worry about it, you two be careful." He said dismissively and turned heading back out the door as swiftly as he had come. Once the door had swung shut Kira let out a low exhale, relived, and turned, putting her forehead on Gaara's shoulder.

"I'm never going to get used to him talking to me like that."

Gaara's light laughter was his response as he stood up from the stool and put a hand on her shoulder. It was still odd to her that he now taller than her – only by an inch or so but still – after having a random growth spurt a little under a year ago. "It has been quiet a while, you just need to relax. He does understand."

Kira blanched slightly looking at him. "Did he say something to you?"

"Yes," there is still humor in his tone as he speaks. "He doesn't know how to make you feel better about it, but he understands that trying to see him as just my family and not someone who will soon be your commander isn't easy. I pointed out to him that he didn't help the issue when we first got together."

Kira grimaced, remembering how awkward that had been. It wasn't like Rasa had resented the relationship, but he had clearly been surprised. She couldn't really blame him, after all who would have thought his youngest child would end up with someone before the other two. Temari was still dancing around the Nara boy like it was a game and Kankuro was...well, he was Kankuro. It had been weird transitioning from just being a friend to the three sand siblings to suddenly dating one of them – the one people hadn't thought would be the one she'd end up with at that.

"I'll try to act like I did before. I don't know why I have trouble doing it." Kira sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "We should go though, or we'll make the others wait." She grabbed his hand, lacing her fingers with his and smiled. Gaara's grip tightened and he slipped the book into a pouch on his belt before silently leading her forward. She let the smile stay on her lips, unable to hold it back as she walked close to him down the hall, feeling a sense of belonging that seemed too right to ever change.

Until the hall swayed and Kira felt her hand slip from his that is. Gaara turned to look at her, shocked and confused, his image blurring with the rest of her surroundings, and then like a bandage, the scene was ripped away in one motion.

Kira gasped, not realizing her eyes had closed and reopened them quickly to reassure him she was fine. They needed to hurry, or less they would be late...late for what? She blinked and found the bland tan color of a thick fabric staring back at her. She was laying down, had she passed out? She was cold, and as she tried to move she felt pain lace up her leg and her side start to throb. She couldn't move her leg, something was keeping it in place. Her face hurt too, she realized and then heard a groan from near by her. She couldn't turn over but saw from the tilt of her head on the cot she was on that Kankuro was pushing a hand to his forehead, looking dazed and confused.

Where had he come from?

The ground wasn't polished or even smooth Kira realized, but simply dirt with fabric laid quickly over parts of it. Something about that realization suddenly brought everything back, crashing into her with so much force she couldn't breathe. They were at war. War. Kira had been fighting Kimimaro and then she'd gotten hurt, badly. Kira knew now she was in a medical tent from looking at her surroundings. Kankuro must have brought her here. A lot after that was blank space... and...what had that been?

Pain, both real and not real seem to tear her chest apart as her mind reeled at what she had just been seeing, what she had been living. She could hear others around her, asking things, saying things but Kira couldn't hear them. All she could do was run her mind over those images and words.

She felt her mother's hug like a ghost around her, heard her dad tell her how proud he was of her. She saw Gaara's face, his forehead smooth and untouched, an easy smile on his face. She felt his grip on her waist and his face in her hair. She heard the echoes of their words, felt the press of his lips to hers and something seemed to both break and click in her mind and heart all at once. It numbed her, running lightning through her veins, unable to grasp at it completely.

Something twisted sharply in her chest.

"Oh god..." She choked out.

Tears pooled in her eyes and over flowed, trailing down her face, and Kira could do nothing but stare in shocked stillness at the roof of the tent.

…

It was over.

He couldn't believe it. After so much pain and loss and impossible outcomes, it was over. They had won. Every enemy they had been facing was either dead, had surrendered, or was just… gone. Over and done. Gaara had a hard time processing it. He didn't even understand how, had no memory of it ending, just that he had been fighting one moment and then the next he had been... somewhere else. When he'd come to everything had been still and quiet and two of the people responsible for such an impossible ending had apparently blown each other's arms off.

For some reason, it really didn't surprise him and after things had been explained he'd eyed Sasuke like a cobra but said nothing. The entire event seemed unneeded to him, but he could see it as some sort of way to make up for what had transpired between them. There were certainly better ways to do it, but Naruto was hardly one to think about his actions and Sasuke was a man who's motives made little sense to him.

He honestly didn't understand their friendship at all.

It had taken hours, but slowly the remaining forces were moved back towards safety. The main base was gone so they had opted to head to the medical cores' base, which everyone had needed. Gaara and the rest of the leaders had stood in the hallway of one of the buildings that had been made for serious conditions, waiting to see how the two heroes would fair.

It had taken a day for things to calm down enough for anyone to make clear reasoning of what had happened. The justu had thrown everyone off, Gaara included. It was like something had been ripped out of him when it had broken, and the memories of what he had seen were still so vivid in his mind... He tried not to think about it. To focus on what was real, but everyone was having trouble, with the exception of the original team Seven who hadn't been put under it.

He stood with them now, along with his sister and the Nara boy, mostly listening as they talked quietly. Both Naruto and Sasuke were sitting up in beds in the room they occupied, and covered in bandages pretty heavily but all in all they were doing pretty well. Almost everyone was injured, Gaara being one of the few not bed ridden like them. Everyone was beyond tired, but hardly anyone was sleeping. Post-war effects he was sure.

"I still can't believe you guys did this to me," Sakura hissed out, hands clenched at her sides. The medical ninja had run herself into the ground to keep both of her teammates from dying of blood loss. Now that she had rested she was, with good reason, upset. Gaara had always had a bit of appreciation for the girl, putting up with her team like she did. "You're both dumber than I thought."

"Ah geeze, Sakura, I said I was sorry," Naruto pleaded, looking like he meant it. Sasuke said nothing, just eyed her for a moment before looking away again. He hadn't said much since waking up. That alone seemed to upset the pink haired girl even more and she made a small sound before crossing her arms. Kakashi had been watching his charges rather lazily, a book open in his hand as he peaked over the top every once in a while.

Temari had been trying to comfort the Nara boy, who'd lost his father in the war, but like most Shinobi refused to show any sort of grief in public. Shikamaru simply gave her default answers and redirected questions, but his sister was hardly one to give up easily.

Gaara let his eyes fall away from the group, wondering if he should be mourning people too. There hadn't been much word about the team his brother had been leading and while no one had said he or Kira were dead and there were so many missing people trying to find anyone was a bit troubling. Not for the first time that day he reached a hand up to run it over the knot work of his strap, only to find nothing and remember that his weapon had been left in one of the tents.

The opening of a door brought his attention forward again and he looked up to see Sai at the doorway, a hand keeping it open. He was battered and looked pretty much the same as everyone else, but a smile turned his normally blank face slightly brighter. "There you guys are," he greeted and turned, leaning back out. "They're in here!" With that he entered the room.

"Sai!" Sakura breathed in relief, hurrying over and pulling the painter into a hug. One that the ANBU agent had clearly not expected but seemed to accept after a moment anyway, returning it without another thought. "We were worried when we couldn't find you," she said, pulling back and looking him over, the doctor in her coming out and making sure he was really okay to be on his feet. Sai smiled and tilted his head at her.

"Sorry about that. I'm alright. Would have been here sooner but I wanted to check on some people and then ran into others looking for the Kazekage." He looked to Gaara and the redhead raised a pale brow just in time for the door to open again and for two people to walk in. Well, 'walked' was a loose term. One walked in and held the door open while the other hobbled in on crutches. Just like that, the two people Gaara had been worried about appeared.

Kankuro was battered, his face paint gone and his left arm in a sling. Kira was another story. Not only was she the one on crutches but the leg that had made them necessary was in some kind of brace and cast around the jointed area. Her shoulder was bandaged and her face was discolored in places other than just the sky blue paint that had smudged and stained the area. There were stitches on her right cheek and one on the other cheekbone, reaching over her eye and up her forehead. Her hair was down, lacking any braids and hung limply in clumps. She really didn't look ready to be on her feet and his assumptions were only confirmed when she winced once she'd stopped, making it through the door so her friend could let go of it.

His sister was the one that unfroze first, relief clear in her voice as she went over to them in much the same manner Sakura had with Sai. "Kankuro, Kira," she breathed out hugging them both, though she seemed to take care in how she touched the shadow user. They both smiled and Gaara had enough sense to move forward to. Kankuro gave him a nod.

"Glad to see you're both alive too. Better off than us in some ways." He glanced at Kira who had turned to glower at him before looking at Gaara and smiling slightly. She faltered after a moment though, perhaps seeing the people behind them, and looked down.

"It's not that bad," she mumbled quietly. Hands shaking, she bit her lip. "I'm..."

Temari backed up a bit, sliding in next to her brother so Gaara could get a little closer, a foot still between them, though part of him wanted to close it. To touch her and make sure she was real, to banish the thought that he'd lost her for good. "Kira?"

She shook her head for a moment before quickly closing the distance herself, the crutches clattering to the ground as she threw her arms around his neck in a tight hug. Gaara froze, every muscle snapping tight as he stood there confused and shocked. Kira had never openly touched him, not like this. Not that many ever touched him like that, but the shadow user had always had trouble being that close to people. The only people he'd ever seen her in close contact with were his brother and her teammate Aya, as well as her mother. Now... to break that careful barrier with him, he wondered what was wrong, what he should do.

His brother snickered and he glanced over to his siblings and saw Temari smiling slightly before giving a small nod of approval and made a small gesture with her hands. Gaara blinked and realized he wasn't doing anything but standing there and felt how she was shaking with the loss of the crutches. Slowly, he lifted his arms and returned the hug, if a bit stiffly, and took a bit of weight off her bad leg. He wasn't sure he'd ever done that before. It was a first for both of them.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, so quietly he was sure the people across the room couldn't have made it out. "I didn't come when you had asked me too... I…" Her arms tightened slightly. "I was worried I'd never see you again..."

Relief seemed to wash over him, relaxing his hold slightly. Maybe it wasn't odd to have been so worried about them. About her. "I was too," he said slowly. "Don't be concerned about not being able to help." He didn't tell her that even if she had shown up, that it was likely she would have been killed or at least just as badly hurt. Seeing the injury to her leg, he was just glad that she had gotten treatment. Kira was quiet for a few moments, thinking over his words before she sighed.

"Okay." She didn't let go of him and while Gaara wasn't sure if maybe he should be the one to, he wasn't really in a hurry either. He liked the feeling of being held close by someone.

"Uh, did I miss something," Naruto chirped from behind him. "I thought, you know, that they were just friends."

"Good friends have been known to do that," Kakashi spoke up for the first time in a while, and Gaara could only picture him with a sly smile under his mask. "She is also the Kazekage's ANBU bodyguard." At his words Gaara felt Kira stiffen and her arms loosened, pulling back slightly as if they had reminded her of who she was. Gaara dropped his arms as she pulled away and looked at her in the eyes for a moment. Her face was red, amber eyes full of too many emotions to really read them right, and then she looked away quickly, embarrassed. Gaara bent down and picked up her discarded crutches and handed them back to her as Naruto answered.

"Oh, I guess that make-Wait what? She's his...?" the exasperation and surprise in the blonde's voice was enough to make Kira smile softly as she took her crutches from Gaara, thanking him.

"Interesting..." Sasuke mused quietly and Gaara noted that it was the first thing he had said in a while. The tone made him just a bit weary. Turning back to team seven he crossed his arms and heard the clicking sound as Kira moved farther into the room. Sakura didn't seem at all surprised by the scene and instead moved to meet his friend half way.

"You really shouldn't be up," she muttered, but was smiling anyway. Gaara wondered if maybe the entire event had made her happy for some reason. "I guess I can understand why you are though."

"Yes, I... Thank you for helping me like you did," Kira said bashfully, her face still flushed. "I don't remember it but... Kankuro said you were the one that saved my leg... so thank you." That was news to the young ruler and he glanced back to his brother who had moved up and was almost beside him now. The puppet master nodded his head.

"Yeah, it wasn't pretty, she had a spear completely through her leg, right under the knee. There was a lot of blood," he said quietly, knowing that his friend didn't want to be the center of attention. Thankfully Sai and Shikamaru had apparently distracted most of team seven, though Kakashi did survey them quietly over his book. Gaara frowned looking back over at Kira. Hadn't she said 'it wasn't that bad'? Either their ideas of severity were different or she was trying to make him not worry. It hadn't worked.

"I was going to come by later and see you, tell you what to do, but I guess I can do that now?" Sakura rubbed her neck glancing to Kira. "I'm sorry to say you're going to be off that leg for at least a month. Bed rest for at least a week. Yeah, you're not staying up." She smiled when Kira made a face and then winced again, moving around. She grabbed at her side and Gaara made a note to check her medical sheet later. "Even with constant medical healing, the damage was pretty bad, but some how it missed the knee cap so you're lucky." Her words made Kira grimace and look down at her leg. Gaara kept his face even but his chest constricted.

For a moment he saw what the scene must have looked like, saw all of her treated wounds, untreated. Saw her on the ground, blood on her face, her arm. Saw the spike through her leg and the blood that must have pooled by the time Kankurō had found her. He pushed the image away quickly, focusing on the present again and thinking about what Sakura's words meant.

Kira wouldn't like being laid off that long, but Gaara wasn't going to let her make that injury worse.

Sakura continued.

"I'll speak with the assigned medical ninja in Suna. You'll need some treatments and once the cast is off some therapy and probably a brace for a while. I know it's not what you want to hear, but you're doing a lot better then I would have thought, and a month is not that long in all honesty. At least you aren't like them." She pointed a thumb behind her at her two bed ridden teammates with a smug look on her face. "They're stuck there for at least two months."

Kira glanced at them and smiled slightly, giggling for a moment and Gaara let out a small sigh. Everything would be okay then. From the sound of it, it appeared Kira had been lucky she hadn't lost her leg. Turning to look at his brother he asked a question that was plaguing him. "Did she win?"

Kankurō tilted his head and then nodded, understanding. "Yeah, when I found her she was basically out of it, but her summonings were still hanging around making sure she was safe. Kimimaro was there, but he had a sealing tag on him. He couldn't move and didn't even respond to me or Sai and Kakashi when they showed up to help." His explanation answered more than just one question. Gaara nodded his head in thanks, and his brother moved to speak again. "How are you doing bro?"

He hadn't expected the question but both of his siblings were looking at him now. No one had really asked, seeing as he was up and moving around just fine, but Gaara wondered if they were asking about more than just physical injuries.

Was he okay?

No one was really okay, not after everything they'd seen and done. Gaara didn't want to think about it or get into it when there was an audience either way. He glanced back a Kira for a moment who was now talking with the group of Leaf ninja, her back to him. Looking back to his family he answered easier then he thought he might have. "I'm fine, now that everyone is here." He truly was, because at least for the time being everything was calm and while things were not great, they would only get better.

He'd deal with the rest later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can I say, a story without drama isn't much of a story?  
> Be sure to let me know what you think and come visit me on my Tumblr under the name FatherFang.


	19. Healing

The next few days for Kira were spent in an unreal daze of sleeping, pain killer induced highs and seemingly random visits from people. She was rather sure they weren't really random but with the other two things throwing her time awareness off, they certainly felt like they were. She was prone to complaining about it, but was often given the reply that she'd done it to herself.

Because really, she kind of had.

So forcing herself out of bed and onto crutches right away hadn't been her best idea. Launching herself at Gaara had been even worse. It hadn't been realized until a little while later – the pain had been practically numbed due to local amnestic which probably wasn't a good thing when moving around – that in doing so she'd ripped her stitches in her side.

Kira still wasn't who had been more terrifying at the moment of realization: Gaara, or Sakura.

Either way, Kira had basically been ordered to stay in bed, at least until it was safe for her to move around. It was boring and agitating, but she didn't care when she was asleep and the painkillers kept her incoherent enough that she couldn't concentrate long enough on one thing to get annoyed. So her fits of boredom only came after the painkillers began to wear off, and it was never long before they were replaced. She was pretty sure Kankuro found it all a bit too amusing.

Kira decided he was an awful person. He'd agreed with a grin.

Other people had shown up besides the sand siblings to her surprise, and relief. Sakura checked on her periodically, normally with a sand medical ninja in toe taking notes on what would need to be done once they all went home. She never stayed long, just checked on her, talking briefly about how others were doing, what her day was like, and other idle chatter. She normal ended her visit with a shot of narcotics straight into the IV, which Kira was really starting to dislike.

On her second day stuck in bed Tenten and Lee had shown up at her door, looking just as awful as everyone looked these days. She'd been so happy to see them that her inquiry about their teammate had just slipped out, but it appeared it had been the wrong thing to ask about.

Neji had died in the finally battle saving Naruto. Further information revealed that Reiska, the girl she had seen with Neji that day, had died as well in Neji's arms hours before he'd been killed. Tenten had started crying and to her surprise, Lee had kept tight-lipped and pulled his teammate into a sideways hug. Kira hadn't really known what to say other then to point out that at least the two were together in the afterlife, or at least that's what she believed. She had found herself wishing she'd gotten to know the calm jonin a little better, and realized that in the end, she had been rather lucky.

Kira hadn't lost anyone close to her. Gaara's family was fine, as were her teammates from Team Fukurō. She hadn't lost Tenten and while she'd known the rest of the weapon user's team, Kira hadn't known them as well as the girl herself. True, that was only six people in total, but Kira still felt extremely lucky. There weren't many who could say they hadn't lost someone.

Maybe the world had been kind to her, seeing as she had lost her mother shortly before the war had started.

Kira sighed, running a hand over her face, over the stitches there. The person in the chair next to her shifted and drew her attention. Tenten was back again, on Kira's fourth day of bed rest. She'd come back a lot, claiming she didn't have much to do, and Kira supposed that was true, though the girl might have just not wanted to be picked for recovery duty. Watching over a critically injured friend was one way of getting out of that. Kira couldn't blame her; searching for the dead in the miles of terrain that the war had taken place in didn't sound like a much fun.

By now most of the bodies had been found and going outside meant getting an eye full of sorted corpses. The bodies were identified then put in summoning scrolls for easy transport back to loved ones. It was all a bit too surreal for Kira and for once she was glad she was stuck in bed.

"You doing alright?" the brunet asked, hand moving to hover near the side table where a pitcher of water and a bell was. Kira waved a hand. Her mind was mostly clear but she could still feel the fuzzy drag of the last dose of pain meds at the edge of her mind. As long as she didn't move too much she would be fine for a bit longer without them. She hadn't been needing them nearly as much.

"I'm fine. Just bored and…tired, but not tired enough to sleep," she mumbled dropping her hand. Tenten smiled slightly before replacing her hands in her lap, on top of a book. "What are you reading?"

Tenten looked down at her lap, flipping the book front so that Kira could see it was the most recent installment of an adventure series Kira had been meaning to pick up herself. "It's pretty good. Keeps my mind off of things..." She trailed off, biting her lip. "Kira?"

"Hm?"

"What did the Infinite Tsukuyomi make you see?"

Kira made a small startled sound and raised a brow at her friend. No one had really spoken about that, or at least no one had asked her. "...why?" she asked wearily. Tenten shifted in her chair again, straightening her back against it.

"Well... it's just you've been acting kind of off, and if it was anything like mine then..." She sighed, shaking her head. "I just think people should be talking about it, you know? It was pretty shell-shocking to wake up from, to see everything you wanted and then have it pulled away."

That was an understatement.

Kira knew she was acting different, though she was trying not too. It was easy enough most of the time to not think about it but with Gaara... her eyes fell to the sheets over her legs, eyeing the lumpy difference between her uninjured leg and the damaged one. She knew she needed to talk to someone about it. Maybe if she did she could make sense of why she'd seen what she had. Tenten hadn't been in her dreams so maybe she was a safer bet...

"I saw a life where I was born in Suna," she whispered, picking at a thread in the blanket. "Where the women who raised me was my real mother and I had a father and the tailed beast didn't exist. I had... a normal, happy life." She yanked at the thread and it broke off in her fingers, leaving frayed ends. Kira had never really told Tenten that much about her life – ANBU wasn't something you shared – but she'd given her pieces, told her what she could. She was adopted after being found wandering the desert. She'd shown exceptional talent at a young age and been given a private instructor. Things like that. Kira was sure her friend was more than smart enough to pick up on the things she didn't say.

"...Was that it?" Tenten prodded, and Kira hunched her shoulders, wishing she could crawl under the covers and hide like a kid. Sadly her knee was pinned down so she couldn't.

"...No," she squeaked out, her mind playing back the scene for the millionth time. Her face warmed and she took in a breath. "I think...well, no, I'm pretty sure I was in a... relationship with Gaara..." She could almost feel his lips on hers again and she shuttered slightly not really liking how much she liked that feeling.

Tenten blinked.

Once.

Twice.

And then a grin lit her face that made Kira turn red.

"Well of course, I mean it's not in your face, but I could tell you liked him the first time you talked about him. I mean you were so upset with him." She shrugged her shoulders, still grinning and Kira stared at her like she'd spoken a different language, and then looked down. "Erm... am I wrong?" The brunet asked puzzled and Kira looked up at her again before returning her gaze down.

"I don't know... I don't think I realized…" Ever since she'd woken up from that genjustu she'd been out of sorts and confused emotionally. She remembered in the moment she'd woken up realizing just what that whole experience had meant and that her stupid head just had never really connected the dots. Except now she had and it stared back at her as she looked at it with a mixture of horror and shock. "I never thought about it that way, saw it like that. We've always just been friends, close friends...I mean I'm his bodyguard..." The small slip on her role didn't even bother her. Kakashi had already spilled it to his entire team so what was the harm in yet another person knowing?

Tenten was quiet for a moment, and Kira looked up at her friend feeling lost. The smile was gone, replaced with concern and understanding. "I guess I should have realized you wouldn't think of it that way," she muttered. "From what you said of your training, and how you acted when we first met… I'm sorry Kira. Maybe I should have said something. I thought about teasing you about it but I've never really liked doing that to people." She rubbed her neck thinking. "I guess it's been quite a shock, figuring things out."

"I…don't know what to do about it," Kira confessed, looking at her hands, which had threaded together in worry. "It was always easy to just be his friend, to watch out for him. Looking back I can see it, that we were... are pretty close but..." How could she do anything different? This was Gaara, and not the Gaara from that dream. She'd already acted on it before, basically throwing herself at him when she'd first seen him, but that had been seen as in the boundaries of friendship to most and Gaara certainly wouldn't have seen it as anything else. Kira wasn't sure how she saw it.

"You know, interaction don't change that much between people just because their relationship is different," Tenten pointed out. "You're always going to be his friend, always going to confide in him and trust him. That won't change just because you realized you want something more than just friendship with him." Tenten was playing with a stray piece of hair when Kira looked at her again. It was surprising that the girl seemed to know so much about it, but maybe it was just common sense that Kira couldn't see because she was in the middle of it. Still, it seemed a bit too knowledgeable, too detailed to be just that.

"You sound like you've already come to that conclusion on your own," she muttered, thinking back to before the war, and Tenten's promise to talk about the guy she liked. The brunet blushed and dropped her hand back to her lap looking off to the side. Kira felt a small smile on her lips as curiosity distracted her from her own problems. "You going to tell me who you were talking about before now?"

Tenten sighed in that exaggerated way of hers, closing her eyes in defeat. "I guess since you told me yours, it wouldn't be fair if I didn't tell you mine." She bit her lip for a moment before looking at Kira in the eyes with an unflinching gaze Kira wished she had. "...It's Lee, I know it sounds weird but...He was so inspiring to me, kept me going when I was having trouble finding a focus in my training. He just kind of became this anchor and then before I knew it..." She gave a small shrug, smiling through her blush. "Of course the idiot has no clue, so I guess we're both screwed on that front."

Kira snorted slightly, agreeing with her. The match didn't surprise her like she thought it would; it certainly explained why Tenten put up with him. As for him not knowing, that was quite possible. Him feeling the same way on the other hand. Kira had never seen Lee act like he had the first day they had visited her together. He'd comforted Tenten with a look of strength on his face rather than tears. He had been strong for her, and Kira wondered if there was a more to that then what she saw. Not that she was an expert by any means on that subject, her own cluelessness proving that. "I guess you're right on both fronts, but I think I need to get a better handle on how I feel before even considering sharing it with him."

Should she share it with him at all? Gaara was...well like her in some ways and then not in others. One of the others being that he was still trying to really get used to the idea of people not being scared of him and looking up to him.

"You know who else needs a push in the right direction?" Tenten said suddenly, drawing her attention, as if to distract her from her own worry. "Our master painter." She leaned back in the chair with a sigh and Kira smirked slightly.

"Sai? Yeah, even I saw that," she muttered smiling softly. "Sakura's just so hung up on that jerk that she can't see anything better. Sai just, he wants her to be happy so…" Kira saw a lot of her self in the fellow ANBU member, and she wondered if he was truly happy with letting Sakura love someone else. How would Kira feel, if Gaara found someone? Her chest twisted unhappily at the thought.

"You think we should do something?" Tenten asked frowning. Kira pressed her lips together thinking. She really wasn't one for melding, and it wasn't like she could give him any advice.

"I think right now it's more important we focus on the big picture. Everyone is hurt and tired. It will take months, maybe even over a year for things to become normal again. I doubt anything will happen within that time frame. Sai has enough to think about, and letting him watch her now that Sasuke is back might spur him into action." She rubbed her neck and leaned into the pillow behind her. "If not… well, keep me updated, maybe I'll pay him a visit or something." She really didn't know Sai that well, but she did like the boy, thought he was a good person despite his lack of emotional understanding. It gave Kira a look at what might have been her fate if not for her mother.

"Good idea," Tenten agreed with a smile. "You know, this all a bit too heavy for me right now, and I know you could use a break for your thoughts too." She held up her book again and cocked an eyebrow. "Want me to read to you? I've been told I'm a pretty good story teller."

Kira raised her brows in reply and then laughed slightly. Well that wasn't something she'd expected. The idea of not thinking for a while did sound amazing though. Looking at her friend Kira pushed away all her thoughts and nodded her head. "Sure, I think I could use an escape from the world too."

…

The wind was calm so high up in the air, the quiet whistle of it streaming by his ears the only indication of its being there. Gaara stared out at the horizon, the sun having traveled over half of the sky, the very bottom rim of the shining globe touching the line where earth and sky met. They were finally on their way home, and they would be there sooner than he would have thought possible. Kira's injured leg had made the idea of running back a bit troubling, even if Kankuro had offered to carry her. Thankfully Aya, Kira's teammate and friend, had been there during the discussion, and offered a solution.

Giant owls. The blond sealing justu user's summoning contract was to two giant owls – not the same size as Naruto's frog summon, probably closer to the size of the bird Sai hand painted to ride on before – one white and one brown. It was a bit amusing that her summoning was what it was, given that the girl's ANBU team was Fukurō.

Something - or rather someone - bumped into the back of Gaara's shoulder, breaking his thoughts apart. "Sorry," Kira grumbled, but didn't move again, her shoulder still against his back. "I'm having a really hard time finding enough room to be comfortable with this damn leg." Said leg was stretched out in front of her, resting across the beginning of the brown owl's wing. They were the only ones on the smaller of the two birds, which made sense seeing as they were the two smaller people of the group. Gaara's siblings and Aya were nearby, flying to the left of them on the much larger white owl.

"It's alright," he assured her, straightening his back and leaning against her shoulder slightly to support her better. He knew she was tired, even after being in bed for nearly two weeks while the Kage and himself got everything settled and the bodies of the dead were recovered. She hadn't liked being stuck in bed much, but she had needed it. Probably still did. "We'll be home soon," he told her. She could probably heal and rest better in her own bed, so he wouldn't make her go back to the hospital unless things took a bad turn. She let out a long sigh and he looked back at her and watched as she closed her eyes for a moment.

"Best news I've heard in a while," she said lightly, opening her yellow eyes once more and glancing at him. She gave him a small smile before glancing forward again, and Gaara felt his chest tighten. Ever since the war had ended, Kira seemed to have lost the headway she had made with looking him in the eyes for longer periods of time. Just what had happened to cause that?

The young ruler looked her over from the corner of his eye, glad that most of the bruising on her face had faded to nothing and the angry red of the skin where her stitches were had calmed down to a dull pink. He ran her medical sheet over in his head again, mentally checking her over.

Her leg had been the worst of it, a hole cut clear through bone and muscle right below her knee. It was still badly injured and tightly bound in a cast. She'd had some fractures in her ribs and clavicle, but those had been healed quickly in order to make sure they didn't worsen and cause complications. A deep cut to her side as well as her shoulder, both on the left side had been stitched up and even though Kira had managed to pull out a few that first day, Sakura had fixed it quickly. That had left the cuts on her face, one barely missing her left eye as it sliced through her cheekbone and eyebrow.

He hoped they didn't scar, as it would be a reminder to both of them about how close she'd come to dying and just how horrible the war had been. He was just glad it was over.

"So..." Kira started, meeting his eyes again. "Temari mentioned... that you spoke with your dad," she said softly, her hands in her lap, fidgeting as if she was working with her twine. She hadn't brought any of it with her. "Do you want to talk about it?" The way she said it, she was clearly giving him room to reject her offer. Kira had always been able to tell when he was bothered, but she hadn't asked him much about what had happened during the war on his side. Not until now. It seemed she had been waiting for them to be alone, and Gaara found it comforting to know she knew him well enough to see he didn't want to speak about any of it around many people. She'd become someone he confided in over the months they had become friends. Gaara hadn't even realized it until she'd asked that he was waiting for her to do so.

Gaara shifted a bit, pulling one knee up and rest his arm over it, staring ahead in thought. "He was brought back with other past Kage sent to attack us," he stated quietly. "He was surprised to see me there." He wondered if his father had thought maybe he had been killed. Technically that was true, but Gaara couldn't get the look on his father's face out of his head when Gaara informed him of his position. "He was shocked, unbelieving that I had taken his place and that I had friends, people that depended on me."

Kira made a scoffing sound and he glanced at her to see a look of contained anger on her face. It wasn't a surprise, since he knew how much she'd disliked his father. "His motives never made any sense to me," she grumbled. "Not when it came to you. At least I could understand why he did what he did with me...but I...I will never forgive him for what he did to you. It doesn't surprise me he never imagined you becoming who you are." Her words were as crisp as ice but Gaara couldn't find it in him to chastise her for them. He did however disagree with her finding reason in his father's motives towards her. Part of him wished he had thought to ask about it, but he hadn't. Kira's treatment made as little sense to him as his own did to her.

"Perhaps. Yet, I was grateful to him in our short encounter. He opened my eyes to things I had been so sure of, only to find out they were wrong."

"Like what?"

"My mother." It felt strange to say those words. Gaara had never personally spoken of her to anyone, not even Kira. It had only been mentioned once when she'd been crying, mourning the loss of her mother Meela. She'd mumbled out that he hadn't known his own mother and then cried harder. Gaara had never really thought much about it, hadn't brought it up because he knew it would probably embarrass her. "He told me the truth about her, and everything else."

Kira shifted behind him, her shoulder more firmly pressed against his own shoulder blade as she turned to look at him better, surprise written all over her face.

"What did he say?"

"That he miss led me in order to test my emotional stability. That he lied about my mother hating me and that in fact, she... loved me from the moment I was born." Gaara went on, recapping the events that had taken place with his father. Explaining his father's choices, that he forced Gaara's uncle to try and kill him, that in the end Yashamaru had never hated him, but loved him just like his mother. His father had given him the means to move on and heal wounds that Gaara had thought he would carry for the rest of his life. He told Kira that his father had told him he was proud of him in the end, that he was sorry for being a bad parent, and then he had revealed that it had always been his mother who had controlled the sand that made up Gaara's sand defense, not the one-tails.

Kira had stayed quiet and still through his explanation, the only sign that she was really there being the slight movement of her shoulder with every breath she took. When he was done and she still didn't say anything, he turned to look at her over his shoulder again and found her staring off into the distance with tears running silently down her face. The redhead flinched at the sight, surprise and worry smashing into him instantly at the sight. Why was she crying? Kira didn't cry much; this was only the second time he'd seen it. He knew she thought it was shameful, that it went against the code of the shinobi, but Gaara had tried to convince her other wise.

But why was she doing it now? He went over what he had said in his head, trying to figure out what could of upset her. He realized there was probably a lot that would upset someone, but he hadn't thought...

"I should have realized," she mumbled, lifting a hand to wipe at her face with the heel of it. "I never even thought to ask about it, I just assumed..." she looked at him, biting her lip and made eye contact, steady and determined for the first time in two weeks, despite the tears in them. "Of course your mother loved you, I could have told you that."

Gaara frowned. That was why she was upset? "Did you know?" The entire village had shunned him as a child, whispered about his mother's death, so why did she say something different from the rest, as if she wasn't surprised it was true. She sniffed a bit, but surprisingly didn't break eye contact with him. Gaara found himself absently counting the seconds.

"Well no. I mean, your father didn't say anything to me if that's what you mean but... I would ask about you, when I was little. My mom would normally divert my attention. But this one time I did ask about your mother because I had never seen her and I was still dealing with the fact that I didn't know my real parents. She said that she had been told by her husband... my dad, that your mother had died with a smile on her face, holding you."

Gaara often forgot that Meela's husband had not only been ANBU, but had also been one of three ANBU that his father had trusted the most along with his uncle and Korin. It appeared that her father had been there during the tragedy that was his birth. "She was smiling..." His father had said as much, but hearing it from Kira somehow made it even more impacting. Finally, the shadow user looked away, scrubbing at her eyes to will tears back.

"I'm so sorry, I never even thought to ask I..." She sniffled again, guilt clear in her voice. Guilt that Gaara found misplaced and unneeded. Of course she had never thought to ask, not when it had never even crossed her mind that such a thing hadn't been known. She'd been ignorant, but that was hardly her fault.

"You have done nothing wrong," he assured her, lifting the hand closet to her, the muscles in his shoulder moving against her own and reached over to touch her raised arm. She twitched at the contact, pulling her hands away to look at him. Her eyes were ringed red, but there was unwavering intensity in them. Strength hidden under pain. "Thank you Kira, for telling me. For caring." Caring enough that she'd started crying. He wasn't sure he would ever understand girls, but he understood Kira enough to know that her tears hadn't been for herself. She moved her hand from her face and grabbed his before he could withdraw it, a small smile on her face.

"Of course I care," she muttered, looking down. She paused for a long moment and Gaara wondered what she was thinking about. "I can't forgive him, but I can be thankful that in the end he told you the truth. Do you think it will help you?" She moved their hands so that they rested on the feathered back of the owl, in the small space between them. Gaara didn't mind the contact, he knew that it comforted her. While Kira had trouble with people touching her, the ones that she did let through that barrier became a source of strength she depended on. He'd seen it with his brother and her teammates and now, somehow Gaara had been given that same, absolute trust. She might have still been having trouble making eye contact with him for very long but he felt as if he were much closer to her than he had been before.

With that in mind, he turned his thoughts to her question, relaxing his neck as he looked forward, feeling like with their hands touching, he knew she was listening. He already knew the answer to her question, because he had said as much to his father before sealing him away. "I believe the knowledge is the treatment that will heal the wounds left behind from the past. It will take time, but things will change for the better." He wasn't sure how it would change him, but Gaara could feel the clarity of the truth as if it were a spot of warmth in his chest. He finally understood what it meant for parents to love their children. In some ways, it helped him understand his siblings better as well. After all, in the end, it was them who had raised and looked after Gaara and he was grateful that they were his family.

"I'm so happy for you Gaara," Kira muttered quietly. "I can't... wait to see what happens." Her voice was hopeful once again, like it had been the day they had parted ways for the war. He remembered the deal they had made, about the fireflies and Gaara found himself looking forward to the return of those bugs more then he would have thought one could.

For a long time they were silent, just the wind in his ears and the flapping of the owl's wings. Gaara lost track of time, lost in thought and memories, only stirring from them when the hand that had been gripping his suddenly loosen and the weight on his back shifted, the surface area of the pressure growing and something resting on the top of his shoulder. Startled he turned his head to ask what had happened but had to stop short when he realized a crown of black hair was in the corner of his vision. Tensing Gaara moved is head to look carefully at Kira, her side leaning against his back, her ear and jaw on his shoulder in relaxed dead weight. Her eyes were closed, lashes kissing cheek bones, neck angled sharply to rest where it was. Her breathing was slow and even and he could only stare at her in shock when he realized what had happened.

She'd fallen asleep against him.

Her hand was limp in his, fingers barely curled around his palm and Gaara swallowed, not sure what he should do. Was she playing around? "Kira?" He spoke quietly, nudging her slightly with his own shoulder, moving her. She didn't reacted, just took in a slightly deeper breath, her fingers twitching around his. She wasn't faking then, he realized; she really had fallen asleep.

He didn't doubt she was tired. Her injuries were still healing and rest was the best way the body healed. Gaara had just never thought...He had known she trusted him, had just been thinking about how much she truly did to allow such closeness, but this was different. She was unguarded, completely at the mercy of the world in this state. It made him realize she felt safe with him there.

Warmth bubbled up in his chest and a small smile twitched his lips up. Leaning back to balance out her weight difference Gaara relaxed, his hand curling tighter around hers. He knew then that this would be a moment that he would remember and cherish for the rest of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost kept Neji alive in this story because of how stupid and unneeded his death was, but seeing as I had already changed a few things, I decided to just give him a side romance - which I'll post once its edit. Also, FYI:
> 
> 1) yes, I ship TenTen and Lee together, their perfect.
> 
> 2) Yes, I'm a shipper of the none canon Sakura X Sai, and yes I'm aware the story is over and that's not what happened. Too bad, it's happening in this one. Why? Cause Sasuke's relationship with her makes no sense. You don't apologize to a girl you 'love' by using the same gesture your brother used on you when he was lying. Sai actually causes Sakura to have character growth. Enough said. So yeah there a bit of side shipping in the works, but the main focus is still with Gaara. Please don't review to argue with me on my choice, cause I'm not changing my mind.
> 
> Please Review, love you guys!


	20. Recovery

The restless tapping of her pen hitting the desk had become a common sound to her in the last hour of time. Kira stared at the blank sheet of paper, a neatly folded letter with a ripped open envelope sitting beside it. Tenten had written her a short letter checking in on her. Things had been so busy in the days following the war that a full month had passed since they'd last been able to talk. The letter had been brief, but still held more content than Kira's reply. She couldn't think of anything to write back to her friend; nothing had really happened that needed to be shared.

Kira sighed and rubbed her eyes, looking around her desk in hopes of inspiration. Her eyes skirted around the three photos and the small collection of books passively before coming to a rest on her tonfas. Kankurō had apparently found them and picked them up when she'd been rescued. One of them looked fine all things considered but its twin was another story. The wood was snapped in half, the hidden blade shattered, making it ready for the trash but Kira couldn't seem to get herself to throw it away. They'd been a gift from Kankurō and her very first real weapons. Even if they were unusable she wanted to keep them.

She'd have to get new ones either way.

Sitting next to her weapons was the half empty jar of face paint she'd used during the war. The paint Gaara had found and given to her. Staring at it, she could nearly feel the touch of his fingers on her face and her neck as he had painted her face for her. At the time she'd just seen it as him helping a friend out who was too worried to come up with anything to draw. Now though, the touch seemed more intimate to her, made her skin flush when she thought about it and a shiver run down her spine.

Grabbing the jar she quickly opened a drawer in the desk and stashed it there out of sight.

The quick movement jarred her leg and Kira winced, frowning down at her cast-bearing appendage as if it had offended her. A month of time had passed and Kira still didn't know how to deal with her injury. Everything else had healed; the stitches in her face removed two weeks ago, though it seemed the one that cut across here lip would leave a scar behind. The stitches in her shoulder and side had come out three days ago and while sore in places, her leg was really the only thing left hindering her. It would continue to do so for a while yet, dragging out her medical leave with it.

Kankurō had taken her place as Gaara's guard again for the time being. Even if the puppet master had broken his arm, it was healing much faster then her leg and didn't completely stop him from being able to do things. Hobbling around on crutches left her slow, unsteady, and bored. You could only do macramé for so long before all of the knots started to look the same.

Maybe she'd go see about finding a book to read. Nodding to herself, Kira set the pen down and pushed away from her desk, grabbing the crutches leaning against it. Maneuvering herself onto them even as her underarms protested, she got onto her one leg, thankful the cast had been done at a slight angle, just enough so her foot wouldn't touch the ground.

Leaving her room she passed through the Kazekage's home – her home now, she reminded herself – and headed toward the door to leave. The only sounds she heard came from the kitchen as per normal at this time of day. Everyone had things to do, jobs to take care of and Kira envied them just a bit. She would have done anything to be back to work; being bored out of her skull gave her too much time to think about things she didn't want to think about.

Like the Tsukuyomi.

Like her feeling for Gaara.

Like how her sleep was awful because she kept having nightmares.

Kira shook her head, closing the door behind her and making her way towards the stairs that led to the bottom floor. She didn't really want to think about any of those things, the second one being the one that reared its head the most. Everything she did seemed to remind her of the nagging truth of how she felt about her close friend...her leader...her boss. She didn't know what she could do except try to come to terms with it and Kira had for the most part. Knowing what to do with it now was another thing entirely.

It took her nearly twenty minutes to get to the first floor – steps and crutches really didn't work well together and Kira had to hold the crutches in one hand while the other gripped the railing and then she very, _very_ carefully hopped down one step at a time. She found a few groups of higher ranked ninja milling about as she hobbled passed, having to pause as she tried to open the door. A few of their voice drifting close enough to hear the words.

"She's still here?"

"...Gaara's guard normally but she's on leave due to injury."

"So she's just taking up space..."

"...probably Kankuro's doing..."

"…doesn't seem smart at all."

Pushing the door open Kira let it shut hard behind her, shutting out the voices as well. It was the second time that week she had heard murmurs like that in passing. She couldn't really blame them for not understanding why she was still hanging around Gaara's home. She'd been given a room because she was guarding him, but nothing had changed on her leave either. She knew she didn't really have anywhere else to go and that in the end, the siblings had given her a place to live for more then just the convenience of a live-in body guard.

Didn't mean the whispers didn't bother her.

There was nothing she could really do about it, she reasoned, and pushed the thought away, staring her long journey over to the library. It normally took her no more the five minutes to get there, but with her leg the way it was it would take a lot longer then she wanted it to. She really hated how slow she was.

Moving through the village at her clipped gate, Kira watched as people milled about, a few smiles on their faces for the first time in a while. It had been announced a week ago that a celebration would be thrown in order to celebrate them winning the war and also so they could honor the dead and there was a murmur of anticipation in the air. It wasn't something she had expected but people seemed to be really excited. This wasn't the first time a celebration like this had taken place, but it had been a few years.

Kira had been surprised that Gaara would do something like that but then again maybe it hadn't been just him. Kankurō had mentioned that the siblings had spoken with the other council members and it had been decided that something needed to happen in order to lift the spirits of the village. Apparently, this was their big idea and even with the event still two days away, it seemed to be working. Shops had started displaying celebration wear, kimonos, and robes. She'd seen a shipment of what appeared to be paper lanterns pass by her early that week on the way home from the hospital. Kira had to admit she was kind of excited too, but would have been happier about it if she weren't stuck on crutches for it. That would make her list of activities quite a bit shorter, though she knew Aya was bound to drag her around anyway.

Lost in her own thoughts Kira brought one of her crutches down wrong and it got caught in a vender's table as she passed it. She flinched, her hand losing hold of it and her balance all at the same time. She threw her hands out in front of her, forgetting the other crutch and bracing to fall on her face for probably the 9th time since being stuck with them. She collided with a solid object looping around her waist before she could hit the ground. It knocked the air from her and she blinked, her nose a mere foot from the sand. Stunned it took her a moment to recognize the deep chuckle that vibrated through what seemed to be an arm holding her up.

"You're going to end up with a battered face for the party if you keep this up," Kankurō teased and pulled her back up straight. She cocked her head to the side to look at him as he kept his hold on her until she'd gotten balance back in her good foot. Where had he even come from?

"Kankurō? Shouldn't you be with Gaara?" she questioned with a disapproving frown. If he was going to fill in for her, he could at least take it seriously. He rolled his eyes, letting go of her and bending down to grab one of her crutches with his own good hand, the other still in a sling and practically as useless as her leg. She took it from him and then the other, arranging them back under her arms, as he stood straight again.

"He's in his office talking with Temari right now about something or another. I saw you out and about, and figured I'd check on you," he explained with a grin. Kira still didn't like it, but she let it go, nodding once and moving away from the shop's front so people could get to it without them both in the way. The puppet master followed her off to the side of the market place and then looked around. "Ag, okay, why don't we just get out of this area? Find a place to sit down for a bit. I've been standing all day," he complained and continued walking, forcing Kira to go after him. She had a feeling this had nothing to do with him and that he just wanted her off her feet. She smiled to herself unable to get annoyed with her friend when he meant well. They found a bench just outside of the busy market, the library in view now as they both flopped down on to the stone seats. "Things are certainly getting busy around here," he mused, throwing his arm out along the back of the bench. Kira smirked at his rather lazy lounging and simply rested her back.

"It's nice," she commented, watching as a couple of kids ran through, stopping at a shop to look at kites. "The festival was a really good idea, the people needed it."

"Yeah, we lost a lot of people in the war so it's about time we did something to brighten spirits," Kankurō replied back, staring ahead at the buildings across the sandy roads. "Everyone's been out of sorts since we got back. I know it hasn't been easy on anyone, including you Kira." He shifted his gaze to look at her for a moment and she frowned before looking down and clasping her hands together.

"I don't think anyone got out of that event without some baggage to take care of." It just depended on the person how much baggage there had been. "Even the people not fighting in the war got a taste of it thanks to the Tsukuyomi."

"Don't change the subject on me, Kira," Kankurō grumbled giving her a knowing look. She glanced down to her lap, avoiding his gaze. "Something's been up with you lately. You're starting to worry me and no doubt the others have seen it too." He had a point. Kira had seen the concerned glances on Temari's face, but the shadow user didn't know what she could really do about it. Everything was just far too complicated. A hand landed on Kira's shoulder and she flinched, not expecting the puppet master to be so demanding about all of this. "Come on, you can talk to me." There was a trace of hurt in his voice that made her look up at him, and she saw concern in his dark eyes that made her feel rather guilty. Why wasn't she talking to him about it? Kankurō was her oldest friend; she shouldn't be so uneasy about talking to him.

Yet he was Gaara's brother and what she needed to talk about was the redhead himself. She didn't want to make things awkward, or put her friend in a roll he didn't need. Who else could she talk to about it though? Tenten wasn't exactly close by and she didn't know Gaara that well. Kira loved Aya to death but talking about it with the blond would be like opening a can of worms. She kind of wanted to talk to Sai about this; he'd probably understand given his feeling for Sakura.

She really wished she could talk to her mom.

None of those options were viable, and really, the puppet master was more than likely her best option. She sighed, ringing her hands on her lap and looking down at them. Her mind wondered, thinking about how long she'd known the boy next to her. Nearly ten years, though a chunk of it had been spent with little to no interaction thanks to his father. Kankurō was someone she kept close to her heart, someone she could count on. If things were different, well, maybe things would have been less complicated. "You ever wonder if things would be easier... if the rumors people say about us were true?" She asked finally and felt him stiffen in surprise at such an out of nowhere question. She smiled slightly to herself, it seemed like a good way to start this conversation off.

"What? You mean about them all thinking we're secretly an item?" he asked confused and Kira gave a small nod of her head. He was silent for a long time after that and after a while, Kira glanced up at him. Kankurō was staring at her, a frown on his face that he only softened once she met his eyes. He sighed, shaking his head. "Yeah, maybe once or twice," he admitted with a shrug. "Not really because I think of you that way, I mean I've known you a long time and I can see why people think that but for it to really be true?" He rubbed the back of his neck, thinking. "I don't think it would work. We don't have that connection you know? We make awesome friends because we know each other so well but the idea of being with you like that? It wouldn't feel right." He was fumbling over his words, clearly unsure of how to explain himself without hurting her feelings. It was sweet and Kira smiled at his rambling. He was right after all, it would be weird and it might even ruin what they had now.

"We'd probably drive each other crazy," she agreed softly and he gave a short laugh.

"More than likely yeah. I'd much rather be your wingman then anything else Kira. You're kind of like a sister in a way. I like looking after you. It's why I'm here now," he pointed out and squeezed her shoulder lightly. She smiled and then looked back down at her hands, biting her lip and counting the seconds as another long pause in the conversation started, Kankurō withdrawing his hand and adjusting his arm sling. "Want to tell me why you asked that if you already knew the answer?" he ask after he was done, a brow rose. Kira ground the ball of her good foot into the sandy ground, trying to come up with a good way to explain it.

"When you were under the Tsukuyomi, did you see what you would have expected if you'd known that would happen?" She fidgeted with her shirt, whipping grains of sand from the sky blue fabric. "Did anything surprise you?" She was kind of hoping she wasn't the only one who had been caught off guard by her own heart and its wants. Kankurō made a small sound, apparently surprised once again by her question, but clearly annoyed that she was dodging his own.

"Not really, I mean that's what it does right? Shows you what you want, so of course I saw what I wanted, nothing else to it," he sounded slightly agitated to talk about it, which was fair Kira admitted. No one wanted to talk about it because of how it had been so painfully ripped from them. She wondered what Kankurō had seen, but knew she couldn't ask that right now, he'd only redirect her again. This was about her. "Did you see something you don't understand or something?" Well, at least he was catching on finally to what she was doing. She wanted to tell him but not without some explanation behind it.

"There was a lot in the Tsukuyomi vision I had that made sense; they were things I wished were true," she started off, agreeing with him and took a deep breath. "But there were other things I never thought of, things that make sense now but that I didn't even know I wanted until I saw them myself. It made me realize how blind I am to my own wants." Emotionally naive. That's how Kira felt about the entire event. She was nowhere near as bad at it as some people were, but it seemed that when it came to matters of the heart they flew right over her head.

"You've always been like that," Kankurō mused, leaning forward and resting his good arm on his legs, tilting his head to catch her eyes as they flickered up. "Even when we were kids you always talked about making your mom proud and protecting the village. You never really wanted anything in the way most kids do. Made getting you gifts kind of hard." He chuckled, more than likely remembering a one such instance. Kira's lips twitched into a small smile as she remembered one too of him asking her repeatedly what she wanted for her birthday and her continuing to say she didn't know.

"I guess I was content with what I had back then." Kira had wanted things, she knew that but she'd never felt like she could ask for them, not when she knew she didn't really need them. Even as a kid she'd realized being able to stay in the village was a big gift in itself and having Kankurō for a friend had been one too. Now that she was older Kira did want things but she normally was able to just get them because they were small things. More twine for her hobby, a treat from her favorite food stand. Anything else she might have wanted 'just because' she'd always made herself leave alone because she knew it would be better to give the money to her mom for bills. She didn't have that excuse anymore, and Kira had been thinking about certain items at the market she would like to put in her room and hang on her walls. That was paused for the time being, seeing as she couldn't do much decorating with her leg.

"Must have been something pretty shocking," Kankurō wondered aloud, breaking her thoughts apart and putting her back on track. "What exactly did you see in that perfect world?" He looked at her sincerely, an emotion the cocky puppet master didn't display all that much but that Kira knew he felt more often than most thought. She closed her eyes and took in a large breath.

Just say it and get it over with.

"I was... dating your brother," she whispered, her voice betraying her as it squeaked half way through. Her mind threw the scenes up behind her eyes again, her lips tingling enough that she bit her lower one to make it stop. Kankurō made a startled sound, sitting up straight.

"You... what?" he asked wearily. She shook her head, refusing to open her eyes. He probably thought it was insane; Kira herself still wondered if she'd lost her mind but the way her heart clenched at the thought of it wasn't easily to ignore. Once she'd gotten over the shock of her badly timed epiphany, coming to terms with it hadn't been nearly as hard as she'd thought. She remembered riding back to Suna on the giant owls, leaning against Gaara's back. It had been, comforting, and she'd felt her heart race when he hadn't pulled back.

That acceptance had only made it worse because now everything made her think about it and her mind refused to shut up, the words nearly screaming in neon colors across it. "I think I'm in love with Gaara," she said quietly, hands clenching together. "Or at least, something close to that..." She'd never been in love with anyone before so trying to figure out if she really was, wasn't easy. Maybe she should have spoken to Aya about it; the blond had been in a few relationships before and probably knew better how to tell.

It did feel kind of good to actually say it out loud, as if a weight were gone from her chest.

She wasn't sure what she had expected Kankurō's reaction to her confession to be really, but it certainly wasn't what happened. The older boy snorted and when she looked up he had a hand over his eyes and was biting his lip to stop from laughing, his shoulders shaking with the effort. Her jaw nearly dropped, gawking at him. Was he seriously laughing at her? She flushed, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Don't laugh at me you jerk!" Once again Kira wondered why she considered him one of her closest friends. Who laughed at someone who just confessed something so personal? If her leg wasn't injured and his arm wasn't broken she would have kicked him for this. After a moment Kankurō lifted his hand and put it out, palm forward in some kind of truce like gesture.

"So-orry!" He snickered through the word, breathing hard. "I just can't believe you finally figured that out!" His words defused into laughter again, this time unstopped and Kira felt her face turn red, her mind sputtering.

...What?

WHAT!

Had the entire world known about her own feelings before her? Did Gaara know? She really hoped that wasn't the case. Her snickering friend took a few deep breath, hand still up in the air before he sighed. "God damn, I really didn't think you would just come out and say it like that." He snorted again, fighting back the remains of his humor at her expense. Kira frowned at him looking down.

"I don't know how this is funny. Honestly it really has me confused." She knew he didn't mean anything by it but she was trying to be serious.

"I know, sorry," Kankurō said with a sigh, rubbing his neck, though a smile still remained on his face. "I didn't mean to laugh. It was just so unlike you to say something so bluntly and to top it off something like that. Shit Kira, I kind of thought you already knew." The stare he received back in reply dampened his grin and he let his hand rest back in his lap, leaning against the back of the bench. "Clearly I was wrong, sorry," he grumbled. She rolled her eyes. No he wasn't.

"Is it really that easy to see?" she said, wincing at the idea of everyone comically knowing her own feelings better than herself. He shook his head quickly and dispelled some anxiety right away.

"No. I don't even think Temari knows. Just me, and maybe Aya," he confirmed. The fact that her ANBU friend knew didn't surprise her; they'd only been friends a few years but Aya was extremely good at reading people. Kira tugged at a strand of her hair that had come loose from her ponytail, eyes on the sandy ground once more. She heard her friend shift again, shoes scraping on the ground. "Guess it was all a bit of a shock for you, huh?" He had no idea.

"I don't know why it never occurred to me..."

"Same reason why you never knew what to tell people to get you."

She heard him shrug his shoulders and she looked up at him for a moment. He gave her a comforting smile, all signs of teasing gone as quickly as they had come. Apparently he realized how much this meant to her.

"Like I said, you never really seem to think about yourself. When you're around Gaara you're thinking about his wellbeing, trying to make him feel better or talking about something else. You rarely ever let conversations with anyone focus on you, so I guess it makes sense that you wouldn't realize how you felt about my bro until it was shoved in your face. I can't really say I didn't see it coming, you caring about him that way," he admitted and Kira raised a brow at that.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, because I can see it. Have since the day you spoke up in his office really. You're a lot alike in some ways, dealt with similar shit growing up." He didn't sound happy about that at all. Kira remembered when he'd talked to her about what his father had done, after he'd found out why they'd stopped speaking to each other. He'd been angry, and rightfully so. "You're both stronger than most can hope to be, even on your own, but when you're near each other? It's like you both subconsciously know how to strengthen the parts of you that need it. I saw it when you got him to relax enough that he slept, and then when he gave you that face paint because he knew you weren't used to fighting without a mask. I never thought about doing either of those things for the two of you and I'm his brother, and your friend." He scratched his neck in thought, sighing. "It was just a feeling that became clearer as time went on."

He was right, Kira realized. She had always figured it was because she knew Gaara so well from the beginning of their friendship. Knew his gestures and expressions almost by heart after years of watching him. Reading him was easy for the most part and doing what she could to make him happy had just been a natural response to that knowledge. She remembered the night she got him to fall asleep, how she'd sat in his bedroom and hummed out a tune her mom had sung to her as a kid. She remembered how soft his hair had been through her fingers as she stroked it steadily and had watched his body relax on the bed. Thinking about that, Kira wondered if that had even been an act of friendship or if it had been her subconsciously doing it as an act of love. When had it even happened? Her relationship with Gaara had never really been a normal one, nothing like what she had with Aya or Kankurō. There had been a sense of trust, of closeness, even from the very beginning that had only gotten stronger as time had gone on.

Maybe she'd had feelings for him even before he'd known who she was. They'd just been so buried, so unknown to her that it had never struck her, not until the war. She might have known now, she might have accepted it, but Kira had a lot to work out still in her head.

"What do you think I should do?" she asked finally, looking to her friend. Kankurō tilted his head, looking thoughtful.

"Not sure," he admitted after a moment. "As things are currently, I don't think it would be wise to tell him, not right now. I'm not saying never tell him, but right now... well, the world is still trying to pick itself back up; everyone has a lot on their mind. I think it would be overwhelming for Gaara, if he knew about it right now, seeing as well, you know how he is."

She did.

Kira knew Gaara almost as well as his own family. There were a lot of consequences to her admitting her feelings to the sand user. Some personal, some political. He was her boss, she was his bodyguard and while they were friends there was always that whisper in the back of her head reminding her that he could command her into battle at any moment. What would happen if people knew his own bodyguard couldn't keep a professional distance from him?

Barring that problem, there was also the problem of Gaara himself. It hadn't even been a month since he'd found out his own mother had loved him and she could tell he was still processing that to a certain level. He was seeing the world from another view once again, just like when he'd met Naruto. It would be... almost cruel to throw something so personal at him like that now.

There was also the chance that if she told him, it wouldn't go well and things may never go back to the way they are now. That alone made Kira hesitate, biting her lip to help her think about something else besides how much she didn't like the right choice to make. "You're right," she agreed a bit sadly. "I can't do that to him. It wouldn't be fair." But not telling him made it feel like it wasn't fair to her. It made her chest hurt in fact, but she still knew the right answer. He came first. Kankurō was right, Kira always put herself last, and this time she was doing it by choice.

"I'm not saying never tell him Kira," Kankurō repeated firmly, the frown on his face somehow more defined by the paint pattern he was using. "You both deserve to be happy and not telling him, well, I think it would eat you alive over time." He patted her shoulder again, trying to be comforting. "Just don't tell him now, it's not like you guys are all that old. You have time." Once again, Kankurō was right. Despite his wisdom, Gaara was not even seventeen yet, though it was coming closer with each day. She was only a year older than him - actually more like a few months as she herself was still seventeen - and by all accounts they were still children. Jumping the gun wasn't a smart thing to do, but Kira had a feeling that now that her mind was made up not to tell him, that she may never find the courage to tell him later.

Maybe that was for the best.

"Okay," she said with a sigh, nodding her head in compliance and looking to her friend. "Thanks Kankuro. I... it helped to talk it out." The hand on her shoulder gave her a gentle squeeze before he pulled it away.

"Sure Kira. Come on, let's go get you a book." He stood up and turned, grinning at her surprised look. "What? You are one of my oldest friends; it was pretty easy to tell what you were up to once I figured out the path you were taking." He picked up one of her crutches handing it to her once she'd stood with the other in place. "Besides, you're going to need help carrying it with those things," he pointed out.

Kira grimaced when she realized he was right, once again cursing her damned leg. She couldn't even go get a book on her own. There were worse things, she reminded herself, thinking about the conversation they'd just had. Getting help from a friend was hardly anything to get annoyed about. Looking to Kankurō she nodded her head.

"Alright, come on human book bag," she teased lightly and started her way forward. The puppet master huffed, rolling his eyes, but he fell into step with her anyway. She would have to thank him later, for everything he'd done for her lately, but for now, Kira figured falling back into their normal childish banter was a good start.

...

He'd been reading a book when he heard it. A simple sound, the small creaking of a door opening. It was a sound that would normally not even register to Gaara, but given the hour his ears picked up on it as out of the ordinary. Except, in some ways, it was becoming normal. He knew who it was by the sound of their footsteps, or rather the one footstep and the creaking sound of crutches as they bared the weight of a person. Kira was up again. Glancing at the clock Gaara saw it was three in the morning and the redhead frowned. This was the third time in a week he'd heard her get up in the middle of the night. He never heard her come back either, meaning she most likely stayed up. It would explain the darkening patches under her eyes when he did see her around.

Setting the book down the young ruler stood up from the window seat in his room, a hand running over the collar of the simple clothes he wore when off duty. He thought about leaving his friend alone - he had so far - but Gaara decided that he couldn't continue to ignore it now that it was becoming a pattern. She'd been so off lately, Gaara worried about her almost daily to some degree. Having too much free time seemed to eat at Kira in an odd way, as if her mind were using the time to cause her problems. She'd been jumpier lately, withdrawn in her own thoughts. The redhead admitted he really hadn't had much time to speak with his friend since returning home, only checking on her when he could. That alone bothered him greatly.

It was time to change that.

Leaving his room he searched for her, down the hall, into the living room, and checked to see if her shoes were missing. They were there, so that meant she hadn't left the house. Pushing open the door to the dining area he found that empty as well. As he passed the kitchen door he heard the same small sound of crutches on wood and raised a pale brow. Pushing the door open he stepping into the area normally filled with the cook and his workers, but was now deserted except one black haired girl. She was only using one crutch as she moved around the kitchen, placing a teakettle onto a burner at the stove. Her hair was down and unbraided, hanging loosely over her shoulder to brush her mid back.

She didn't see him till she turned back around and started, nearly losing her hold on the crutch under her right arm. "Gaara?" she said bewildered, blinking rapidly. "I... What are you doing up?" She shifted her good foot, moving to hold her weight better. He raised his brows at her but she just gave him a small smile before looking off to the side.

"I was wondering that about you actually," he replied, stepping farther into the kitchen. "This isn't the first time this week. You've been sneaking around late at night quiet often." He wasn't trying to trap her into answering, but he was concerned. She needed sleep and for some reason she wasn't getting much. Kira's eyes flickered up to him and she tugged a corner of her lip up into a half smile.

"Keeping tabs on me? Or are you just always up?" She paused, thinking over her own words then made a face. "Uh, never mind." She turned to the side, bending over and opening a cabinet, snatching a cup out from under it and setting it on the table above. "You want some tea?" She was diverting the question but Gaara let her for the moment, nodding his head. She snatched up another cup, then moved to a canister on the table, opened it and pulled out two tea bags. He watched her drop the bags into the cups and then leaned on the table, pulling the crutch out from under her. She seemed to know her way around the kitchen rather well, which probably meant she'd been up at strange hours more than he thought.

Moving closer, Gaara stopped at the other side of the table, two feet of wood between them now, and rested his forearms on it, frowning at her. She met his gaze for a moment before looking down, biting her lip. She knew he wasn't just going to forget about what he'd said and he could see her fighting with herself about what to do. The hand closest to him on the table moved, pointer finger scratching at the finish, clearly not thinking about it as her mind was somewhere else. After a moment Gaara finally reached out and touched the back of her hand briefly. She glanced up at him again, clearly surprised and he caught her gaze in his, stilling her completely.

"What's wrong?" He asked again, eye searching her own golden yellow ones. She spent so much time helping him sort out his problems and was always there for him. All he wished to do was return the favor, but Kira had always been resisting in a way, the only time she'd really allowed it was when he'd sat with her after her mother had passed.

"I'm okay..." she started but he held her gaze still and she faltered in her rather easy to see lie. Sighing she finally broke his gaze, eyes sliding to look down at their hands. "I'm just having nightmares Gaara, it's nothing serious. I just can't sleep for a bit after I have them."

Nightmares?

Gaara wasn't particularly familiar with them, seeing as he didn't sleep that much and dreamed even less. He understood the concept of them, realized they were about people's fears and troubling memories. He could only imagine Kira's were bad, given what she'd seen in her life, but her staying up after them was a new occurrence as far as he knew. Just how bad were they? He would have asked but as he opened his mouth to do so, the teakettle began to boil and Kira straightened up, shifted her crutch back under her, pivoted, and turned off the burner on the stove before grabbing the kettle by the handle. She poured water into both cups quickly and then set the kettle back down on the stove. The tea bags were already turning the water a darker color and she stared at them for a few moments, looking slightly lost.

"Near the end of my battle with Kimimaro," she said suddenly, as she used the table for support again instead of the crutch, her tone soft despite the harsh topic. He was surprised she had suddenly just start talking, but dared not say anything else in case she stopped entirely. "After he hurt my leg I was...unable to move much, pinned to the ground, mind swamped with pain. He'd laid a trap for me that I'd foolishly jumped right into, using one of the Land of Iron samurai as bait." She grabbed the string on a tea bag and started moving the herbs up and down, turning the water darker much faster than before. Gaara hadn't heard about her battle from Kira at all before, only from Kankurō who had found her afterward. "He looked like a real monster at that point, using his curse mark form." He saw her shudder slightly and it brought back memories of his own fight with the bone user.

Gaara knew what she spoke of, how the young white-haired boy had turned into a misshapen demon, his temper changing completely. "I remember that," he said off hand. "His speed was nearly doubled, as was his power. His body became rather hard to harm as well." He saw her nodded in agreement, taking the tea bags out of the cups.

"Yeah. That's how my tonfa got smashed. I tried to hit him with it..." Her eyelids drooped slightly, her mind weary of the topic they were on. "After he had me trapped, I thought he'd let the hostage go, but he didn't, instead he... taunted me with the him. He wanted to prove a point to me because I had told him I was your guard." She paused, glancing up at him and Gaara blinked, surprised that she would have said that to an enemy, but didn't ask her why. It didn't matter, seeing as the bone user was dead once more. "He had it in his head to go find you, finish the fight you had started and I simply stood in his way. He wanted to make sure I knew I couldn't help you because I couldn't even save that samuri." She swallowed hard, her hands clenching together on the table they now rested on again. "He killed the samurai practically on top of me, ran him straight through. I... I got covered in his blood." She went silent after stumbling over those last words, her head tipped down, eyes pinned to the table and the two cups of tea. Gaara could almost hear her jaw clench together.

His chest tightened at her words, realizing just how much that must have affected her. No ninja liked being helpless - they were trained so that they wouldn't be - and Kira was no exception to that norm. He wondered if it had reminded her of her training under Korin, when the man had left her helpless and scared several times.

Was that why she was acting so strange lately?

"Kira..." he began, but suddenly the girl in front of him shook her head and quickly lifted her hand, moving one of the cups, scooting it across the table with a shaky grip.

"Here…it's going to get cold," she whispered drawing her hand back only for Gaara to reach out with a thin tendril of the sand from his armor to wrap around her wrist. It moved without him even really thinking about it, the grains tight but gentle against her skin. She jerked her head up to meet his gaze and he saw how frantic her eyes were, pupils constricted as she tried to calm her mind down. She glanced from him to her wrist and then back to him again. "I, um..."

"It's alright," he told her, unsure of what to do next. Should he let go of her hand? Move it? A shiver ran down her shoulders, onto her limbs so strong that Gaara felt it and he frowned as she shook her head.

"It's not," she argued. "I'm meant to be stronger than this, but he was right. I couldn't do anything to help that samuri and if I couldn't do that how in the world am I supposed to protect you?" Her teeth bit down hard on her lip again, her other free hand curling on the table as she leaned heavily on it to keep the weight off her leg. "How can you depend on me if I can't sleep because I keep seeing him die? If... If I wake up and feel his blood on my skin and hear his scream in my ears?" She hunched her shoulders, her hand clenching under his hold.

Gaara stared at her, unmoving, hardly breathing. He hadn't expected her to just blurt something like that out. Normally Kira was so careful about her words but it seemed that the war had gotten to her more than he'd first thought. Not that he could really blame her... a lot had happened that bothered him as well, not to mention his siblings. Temari was especially worried, not for herself but for the Nara boy who'd lost his father. She'd managed to convince him to come to Suna in the next week, as he was now the Envoy for Konoha.

The sand around her wrist tightened and she glanced up at him, moon gold locking with ocean blue-green. The waters in control of the sky for once. "You aren't meant to be anything, Kira," he said finally. "People can't choose our fates, though they may try. We can be more then they wanted us to be. You know that as well as I do." They were, after all, two people meant to be nothing more than weapons in the eyes of Suna's past rulers. Gaara had broken his own cycle, becoming the Kazekage, gaining the support of those around him. Kira had kept herself from becoming twisted into a killer as Korin had wanted, but he could still see the chains of the past holding onto her in places. "Are you going to let them win?"

She stared at him and Gaara was pretty sure this was the longest she'd ever kept eye contact with him before, her mind racing behind bright eyes. "I... that doesn't really fix the problem," she said softly and Gaara raised an eyebrow. She was clearly avoiding his question. Her eyes flicked over to his sand on her wrist again and she seemed to think about something for a long moment before she let out a long breath. "No. I never have. But now, I just..."

"I told you once before," Gaara said as she trailed off. "That I don't need a guard that is stronger than I am. I don't, nor have I ever wanted you to feel like you needed to keep me safe all on your own. I picked you because I trust you and I know we can work well together." She knew him better than most and Gaara felt like he knew her well enough to read her movements, her expressions. It was essential in a pair of fighters. "As for the nightmares," he added when she started to protest. "You can talk to me Kira, you know that. It would help, make things seem less crushing if someone else carries the weight as well. We have to look after each other." It was what teammates did, and while they weren't that in the common term, in a lot of ways it was similar. They were also friends. Close friends. He wanted to help her, wanted to see her happy.

"You did say that before," she agreed sheepishly, her free hand skimming the lip of her cup with a finger. Her eyes flickered back up to his and she gave him a small smile. "I guess I let things get the better of me. Thanks, Gaara, for reminding me." At least she realized it, Gaara thought, and nodded his head, finally letting go of her hand and picking up his cup to take a sip. She pulled her hand back and just rested it on her side of the table, her other hand still dancing along the edge of the cup, her eyes drawn there now as she thought. "You know," she said after a moment. "If we're looking after each other, we should both probably try to get some sleep." While she was right, Gaara found himself grimacing at the thought of it. Hadn't she just been saying she was having nightmares? For how little sleep the redhead got he certainly didn't want any of those.

"Perhaps," he relented and he saw her lips twitch as if she were holding back a grin. Well, at least he'd somehow lifted her spirits, he'd call that an accomplishment.

"I can stay in the room with you?" she offered. "That way you know I'll rest as well." She had a point, though she could easily just pretend to sleep or wait for him to fall asleep and then get back up. He narrowed his eyes at her, wondering if she would truly do as she said. She blinked, raising her dark brows and then finally grinned, apparently realizing where his thoughts were going. "I promise." She tilted her head and took a sip of her tea. Gaara felt like rolling his eyes, knowing he was already doomed to giving into her since she wouldn't go to sleep if he didn't. Sometimes, she acted a bit too childish. Maybe Kankurō was rubbing off on her.

"I suppose," he agreed after a moment and she smiled, enjoying her little win. They sat silently drinking their tea for a few minutes before the shadow user spoke again.

"You know, tomorrow's that celebration," she started setting her cup down and drawing his attention. "There should be some fireflies later on in the night." She gave him a meaningful look and it took the sand user half a moment to figure out what she was talking about. Their promise, the one they made before the war started, to enjoy the fireflies together. Gaara remembered how much he'd held onto that promise during the war, used it to anchor himself during trying moments. His lips twitched into a small smile.

"I remember. We'll have to do that," he offered and she gave him a smile back, pleased that he had remembered. As if he could every really forget, even with everything that had been going on. He didn't think he had it in him to break a promise to her, not when she clearly trusted him to keep them. She held her cup between both hands, elbows on the table to support her. She looked far more relaxed than she had before.

Later, Gaara would wake up in the early morning to Kira asleep in a chair, head on her arms against the foot of his bed, a gentle smile on her lips that made his chest twinge with warmth. It would be a sensation he would come to realize meant far more then he had ever expected.


	21. Wishes

The tiny fish swam in a cluster of reds, oranges and yellows, in the small clear tub, some speckled, some solid colored. The idea of catch goldfish to keep as pets had always seemed silly to Kira, and having such a pet - one that lived in water no less - in a desert village seemed even more so. Yet, here she was, standing in front of the damn thing, arms aching from crutches as she watched Aya chase the fish around with a tiny net. The blond seemed to be after a particular one, bright red with white spots on it's back half, the tail fin streaked.

Well, at least Kira had been right in her assumptions of what to expect for her time at the festival. Aya had shown up an hour before things had gotten started and basically trapped both Temari and the shadow user in one room, demanding that the three of them get ready together. The eldest sand sibling had agreed after one wary glance to Kira, who had grimaced but not denied her friend the activity she enjoyed so greatly.

So, she sat through it all, being stuffed into a yukata, having her hair played with - the works. Thankfully she got to keep her shoes - or shoe as it were - since the cast prevented traditional footwear and Kira had pointed out she might trip in them. Aya had huffed but relented, Temari smirking at the easy going friendship of the two ANBU.

Now, hours later, Kira was doned in fabric that held the stars and sky, her hair glittering with ribbons at the base of her pony tail. It was all very pretty if you ignored the eyesores that were her cast and crutches.

"Got it!" Aya crowd, her prey trapped in the tiny net, the man running the stall hurrying to save the poor thing as he placed it in a bag of water and tied it off. He handed it to the blond who clutched it eagerly between both hands and turned to look at Kira. "You sure you don't want one? We could find you a chair so you could sit down and do it." The offer was sweet but Kira simply shook her head and smiled slightly.

"I'm good. I don't see how I'd have time to take care of one." She half wondered how Aya was planning to. Maybe her mother was willing to look after the thing. Not wanting to give Aya time to try and convince her, Kira moved from the stand, the click of her crutches bearing her weight lost in the high murmur of voices that littered the stands around them. The blond followed her, keeping to her side as a way to keep people from tripping Kira who was having trouble as it was in the yukata. "Let's go find the others and some food. I'm starving," she offered. She had no idea what had happened to any of the sand siblings, Temari slipping away soon after they'd left for the event, so it was just the two of them, but everyone had agreed to meet up for food later, which was now.

"Alright. I think Temari said something about that food tent down the way, maybe they're there now?" Aya didn't wait for an answer, just started on her way, forcing Kira to follow after her as fast as she could. The blond had slowed her steps, but Kira was still slower than her. That fact alone was probably the most annoying part about her injury.

They did indeed find the siblings hanging near the large food tent, Kankuro leaning against a one of the support polls as his sister peered at whatever was being sold there. Gaara was standing near them, arms crossed and a distant look about him that nearly screamed boredom. This really wasn't his kind of thing, but as a leader he had to be seen supporting the festival.

Aya went scampering up to them, stopping in front of the puppet master and nearly shoving her prize in his face - which was clear of paint for once, his brown hair visible without the hood. He gave her an annoyed look, trying to lean away from the bag only to be denied due to the beam he was leaning against. At the first words from the blond, Gaara seemed to break from whatever trance he'd been in, blinking and looking to her before his eyes flickered to Kira who had just gotten to them a few moments after Aya. The shadow user gave her friend a small smile, shifting on her crutches, her under arms screaming as per usual. Temari also came to life, turning from the stand and moving closer to the group.

"Good you're here. We should have just enough time to eat before the main event starts," she said as way of ushering the group into the undercover eating area. They snagged a table and a waiter was there in moments handing out menus and bowing to Gaara before heading to another table she was serving.

Dinner went by in a happy haze of banter and conversation, Kira perched on the end of one bench because of her leg. Kankuro sat beside her, nudging her when she went quiet for too long. Gaara was the only one more silent than her, which was normal, yet something seemed off about it. Kira saw him give a weary half smile when Aya mentioned the speech he was supposed to give before the 'big event' and Kira caught the worried look in his eyes.

Was it possible he was nervous about it?

The bill was on the house, as the owner insisted it was a thank you to the Kazekage for the event - it had raked it quite a sum for the business - and no one quiet knew how to refuse that. Still, as the group was leaving, Kira dropped a few yen on the table for the waiter who was still scrambling around, far too busy to even realize it.

Gaara was the only one who saw her do it as he waited at the back of the group for her to catch up. They made eye contact and she saw him smirk slightly at her defince but said nothing, both of them falling into step side by side a few feet behind the three chattering older ninjas. They walked in quiet company for a few minutes, the buzzing of the people around them filling the air, a few of the citizens stopping to greet their leader. A small group off to the side caught her eye, wearing frowns and narrowed eyes firmly directed at the two of them and Kira couldn't help but want to step away from the redhead, if only for a second. It seemed those rumors were getting more and more real. Clenching her hands tighter around the handles of her crutches Kira simply smiled at them before returning her attention elsewhere, forcing herself not to move away because they didn't understand, didn't know anything. Focusing on the warm, fluttering feeling she got from walking next to him.

Kankuro was right. It was enough, for now. The sun had all but set now, an even stream of people going in the same direction they were to pick up lanterns and commune around the chosen site for the lift off. Kira saw Gaara fidget slightly with the collar of his formal wear, the dark red of the top going well with his hair. She bit her lip, looking forward and then figured she should try and help.

"Not sure what you should say?" She figured it was best to not ease into the topic given the time frame that crept closer which each step. She felt his gaze swivel to her, surprised and she just smiled slightly, keeping her eyes forward as to not make it seem too personal out in public. There were enough murmurs about them as it was. Gaara, seemed to understand that.

"I have never felt very adequate when it came to speeches."

"Oh I don't know about that," Kira mused. "I remember quite a few people talking about the one you made right before the war. Seems you set some ninja straight." She had already been gone with the rest of her advanced unit and didn't know what he had said, only that it had been what people had needed to hear. She was curious and she made a note to ask Tenten or Temari if they could recall any of it. Gaara gave a small sigh, and Kira glanced at him from the corner of him eye. He was looking forward, face masked in an unreadable expression saved for when he didn't want his emotions to show there.

"That was different," he argued and Kira hummed.

"Not really, I mean, yes it's not the same environment, but it's about the same subject isn't it?" She tilted her head slightly, eyes still looking at him and she caught his gaze when he looked over, confused. "It's about hope, right? We're honoring the fallen, yes, but couldn't you say this is also about looking forward to what happens next? A future without the Akatsuki and Madara. A world where the idea of peace isn't impossible?" After all, the nations had worked together to bring down the threat, one could say they understood each other better now.

"Is that what you believe?" Gaara asked as they rounded the corner, coming to the village center, where an open commons was laid out. People were already gathering around, paper lanterns in many hands, the lights within them flickering like the stars above. They stopped and Kira watched her three other friends move to grab their own and took the chance to turn and look at the redhead. She gave him a small smile, one that spoke volumes for her confidence in him. She tried to ignore the constant flutter in her chest at being so close to him now, gazes locked.

If only he knew.

"It's what I hope for," she replied finally. "It's what we've earned, don't you think?" She let her smile widen, growing stronger as Gaara's brows pulled together. He did have a tendency to over think what she said to him and she might have said something else if he hadn't suddenly given a small nod in agreement.

"Kira!" Aya's voice draws her attention back forward, the blond standing with two lanterns - one for her and one for Kira since she couldn't hold one - and grinning. "Come on guys! It's about to start!"

The Sand siblings were nowhere in sight and Kira could only guess they'd moved to a spot near the front where Gaara would be. Kira glanced at Gaara before giving a small jerk of her chin and heading towards the blond, the sand user close behind. They made their way up to the front, weaving through people who parted for Gaara and intentionally made it easier for Kira as well. She wondered if that was why the redhead had suddenly moved in front of the other two. Aya giggled slightly, confirming her suspicions. Kira felt her face flush and she quickly looked down, willing the heat from her face.

Kankuro and Temari stood at the front of the gathering crowd, a bit off to the side, lanterns in hand, the former standing next to a chair. He grinned at the shadow user who flushed slightly as he pointed at the chair in a 'use it' motion. Glancing at the crowd once she ducked her head and did as she was asked, secretly grateful to get off her feet. Crutches on the ground next to her, Aya handed her the paper lantern and Kira held it in tentative fingers. It was made of rice paper, the flickering flame of the wick inside made cloudy by the opaque screen. Delicate golden flowers weaving around the Suna symbol were the only decorations and they seemed to light up in random glittering patterns due to the flame.

Kira didn't realise Gaara had left them, taking the extra lantern from his sister and moving to the front of the crow until the buzzing of people had suddenly stopped. She'd looked up then, finding Gaara atop a small risen pillar of sand so that everyone could see him. Dressed as he was, with the fire light under his face, Kira couldn't help but think he looked stunning and bit her lip to stop her thoughts. He was silent for a few long moments of time and her heart clenched, worry taking her. Had his mind gone blank? She saw his eyes flash among the crowd, landing on their little corner and she gave him an encouraging smile and nodded her head ever so slightly. He looked forward once more, and above the crowd he spoke, voice carrying on the wind as if it too wanted to hear his words.

"Looking back on the last few months, I realise how short of a time has passed since those dark days shadowed this village, this entire world. I recall those who gave their lives to shed light upon us once again, chasing away such darkness. This village has lost much, not just in the war but in the last few years, and it is because of that..." He paused, as if to catch his breath and Kira glanced over the crowd, looking upon the sober faces of those still gripped by the pain of that loss and slowly looked back to Gaara, only to see him glance in her direction at the same time. "I was told once, that mourning those we have lost, is easier when we aren't alone, and that is why tonight we gather together to remember them, not to grieve but to thank them and to bid them safe journey to the next world and what lies before them."

Kira's breath caught in her throat. That was… She had been the one that had told him that, months ago. She wasn't sure if she was surprised he had remembered, or if it was simply because she hadn't thought it had made that big of an impact on him. Her hands tightened around the base of the lantern, paper crinkling. She was...she didn't know how to describe how she felt.

"This is our chance to thank them for all they have done in clearing a path to a better future for all of us here," Gaara continued and raised his hand, holding the lantern in front of him. "I ask you to lift these flames into the wind with hope for the future they gave us and praise for the war we won." It was a clear ending, but people didn't clap or cheer like they might have in a different scenario, but followed suit as Gaara simply closed his eyes and did just as he said. Kira watched as the people around them held their lanterns near and then shut their eyes to the world around them as well. Swallowing, Kira glanced back up to Gaara for a moment before taking in a long breath and bowing her head, eyes sliding shut, the world around her quiet with only the slight rustle of clothes shifting in the wind. Her list was small, but Kira spoke to them anyway, hoping her thoughts reached them across the planes of existence.

She thought of Neji and the blind girl, Reiska, she'd seen with him and wondered if somewhere in the world after death they had found each other. She hoped they had; it was the least they deserved.

She thought of all the people she'd didn't know the names of that had been lost in the war, of the samurai she couldn't save. She thought of Lady Chiyo and the ANBU that had died when Gaara had been taken. She wished them all peace.

Then, she thought of her parents, the people who had raised her. Of the man she'd met in that hospital room and only gotten to call dad for a little less than a month before he had passed away. Of her mom, the brilliant, bright woman who had been laid to rest merely three months ago. Would they be proud of her now? Would they be happy that she had lived and fought so hard for the world? Of course they were, she realised, because they had always told her to do her best and that was indeed what she'd done. Now, Kira just had to deal with what lay in front of her. That was easier thought than actually done.

"I hope you guys are looking out for me, wherever it is you are. I promise I'll find happiness in this world, and I'll make you proud. I love you."

When she opened her eyes, Kira found some people had already let their Lanterns go into the wind, while others still had their eyes closed. She scanned the area before meeting blue-green eyes across the distance. Gaara tilted his head slightly, lantern in hand, a silent question. Kira smiled and lifted her own above her head, arms stretched straight. Keeping eye contact with Gaara was easier from such a distance, and she didn't break it, not until she felt a strong gust of wind pull at the paper in her hands. Her smile twitched on her lips and after another moment Kira let go, hands lowering to her lap as she looked up at the sky, and watched as Gaara let his fly off as well.

Kira watched as both of their lanterns floated higher and higher into the sky among the dozens of others. Soon the air was filled with them, a river of light in the sky as the wind carried them away into the night. People began cheering then, Aya's voice ringing in her ears close by along with Kankuro's. Kira knew that within the next hour or so those paper lanterns would either burn up in the sky or fall to the earth along the large stretch of sand they were headed towards, but in her mind Kira hoped for something more.

She could imagine the lanterns reaching out to those who had been thought of before their release. She saw them being held in the hands of loved ones, an ear close to the flickering flame as if it were speaking the words to them. Her mind knew that couldn't happen, but in Kira's heart she let herself believe that, if only for a moment. The lights were so bright in the sky above, overpowering the stars that hung there that she could scarcely think any differently.

As the cheering roared around her, Aya leaned over Kira's shoulder from behind the chair and looped her arms around the shadow user and grinned. Laughter overtook her for a moment, the air so thick with positive energy that she couldn't help it.

She wondered if that feeling, that moment, was what hope was really like.

…

She beat him to their meeting spot on the Kazekage tower, which he really wasn't too surprised about. Normally he figured it would have been really hard to get up there with her leg, but thanks to her Shadow Shift ability she'd probably just moved that way rather than take all the stairs. Not that Gaara took stairs either, the sand cloud he'd been on slowly dispersing as he landed on the roof.

It had taken him a few minutes after she had left for the redhead to get away from his siblings and the rest of the village after everything had finished up. Thankfully most were headed back their homes now, the celebration mostly over. Only some groups stayed out, heading to go drink at a bar or chatter late into the night. Gaara had enough of group socializing for a while, but didn't mind meeting Kira like they planned.

She was sitting over the edge like always, legs dangling, thought she did sit a bit to one side due to the heavy cast. At his approach she cocked her head over her shoulder and smiled at him in greeting. He simply nodded in return. She was still wearing the formal attire from before, fabric printed with the night sky. A few of the glowing bugs that had sparked this meeting were already out and about, a stray hovering near his friend.

He joined her, sitting down close by in case she lost her balance and went a bit too far forward. Her balance had been off since the injury and he couldn't blame her for it. Didn't mean he wasn't going to take precautions.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, eyes flickering to her leg. It was the only injury she still had left from the war. The bruising was gone and the stitches had been taken out. He tried not to see the thin line of a scar that marred her lower cheek and cut into her lips.

"Just a bit tired," she assured him, smiling still as she looked back out over the village. "Been a long day, but a good one I think." She fidgeted for a moment, playing with the end of a strand of hair that was over her shoulder. "What you said during the lantern lighting… I was surprised that you remembered that, what I said to you." Glancing at him she smiled slightly again. "It meant a lot."

Gaara raised a pale brow at her. Had she truly though her words hadn't made an impact on him? It was true their friendship had still been on the newer side but there was no reason for her to assume he'd forgotten. "You've never said anything that wasn't meaningful Kira," he pointed out. "Everything you ever told me, the advice you've given, I won't forget it." He watched her blink rapidly for a moment, throat working slightly as if to find a response. Color bloomed on her face and she quickly looked forward again, shoulders hunching slightly. Gaara tilted his head, confused. Was she embarrassed?

He let the air remain quiet for a few minutes, let both of their thoughts collect as he watched one of the fireflies bob to and fro in the air in front of him. It was such a small being in this world, yet it shone so bright. "Do you believe it?" Kira asked suddenly, drawing his attention. She was looking at him again, color back to normal. "What you said I mean? Do you think the future will be bright, better than it had been before? I know that's what I told you but… I was wondering if that's what you truly thought too." Her eyes flickered to the ledge between them for a moment before looking back up.

She was getting so much better with eye contact between the two of them, it made Gaara smile softly at the thought of her being stronger than before. It was part of the proof that drove his answer to her question. "We've all seen enough darkness in these last few years that it has brought us together in a way that had never happened before. What everyone saw in that genjustu was fake but in a way it was also true. Showed us all something we could learn from I believe." Even if it hurt to think about a life that could never be, Gaara still thought it had opened people's eyes a bit more to their own goals, even if they had already known them. "So yes, I do believe things will be better."

Kira nodded her head slightly, biting her lower lip for a moment. "Yeah, that's a good way to look at it, I suppose. When I was under that...There were some things that I had always wanted, things like my foster parents being my real parents and being alive and younger and happy and I was born here, I... " she sighed, shaking her head slightly as if to break from those memories. Gaara's chest tightened, the sudden need to tell her that she wasn't an outsider here, even though he knew she often felt like she was. Not knowing where she came from, who she was before coming to Suna, didn't help the matter. His father had done everything he could to make sure she was a stray.

Hesitantly, he reached out and touched the wrist of her closest hand, the one lying between them. She twitched and looking at him again, confused.

"You do belong here, Kira. You'll always have a place here, no matter where you were born," he assured her and she blinked again before smiling brightly, tilting her head just a bit to one side.

"I know..." She shifted a bit and cleared her throat slightly before Gaara took his hand back when she moved her own onto her lap with the other. "What I mean," she continued, "is that I saw those wants, but I also saw things that I… didn't really know I wanted. Things that I subconsciously did but never really thought about." She was deflecting the subject but Gaara let her for now. He knew that was a sore subject and was surprised she'd even been willing to say that much about it. So, instead of insisting he followed her lead.

"Like what?" Not many people had been willing to share what they'd seen. It was either too painful or too personal but he will admit he'd been curious. He watched her seem to think something over carefully as she looked down at her lap, flexing and unflexing her fingers. She bit at her lip again before finally answering.

"...The way people were ninjas was different," she started, causing him to give her raised brows again. She shrugged her shoulders slightly, glancing at him. "Children that wanted to be ninja still went to the academy like now but it wasn't so simple, so short. They spent years training, starting around I think age twelve and then it sounded like you were done around eighteen. From there you were put into your squad or assignments. Everyone had childhoods that were happy, not..." She sighed again, seemingly unsure how to word it. "Not what we're use to."

Gaara found himself staring at her, but not really at her at all. His mind reeled at that idea, that reality where none of his family or friends would have been on the battlefield at such a young age. He recalled months ago when he'd been sitting with Kira after her mother had died, how he'd wondered when it had become common place for the young and small to fight the battles of the old. How it had become normal for children - as both of them were still considered that - to take on the emotions and tasks of someone so much older then them. Kira described a world where that wasn't what had happened. Where young hearts too naive to understand the impact of what killing someone would do to them, grew up more before taking on such hardships.

It didn't surprise him that Kira would want that, dream of something like that, for a chance at a normal younger life. If her dream was real, neither of them would be where they were now, not for another year or so. They would be normal kids, still training in school and not worrying about the next mission and if they'd make it back. He wouldn't be Kazekage, and she wouldn't be an ANBU.

"That's an interesting idea," he said finally, catching her eyes again as she looked up. "It would be a better world, if that were true." He wondered if it would be possible to ever have that be true. What was the norm now had been so for a very long time, since before the village was even built. He doubted such a change would come easily, if at all, but he wasn't willing to dismiss it, not yet. So he'd keep it hidden away in his mind for another day to fish out when the time was right once more.

"It's weird," Kira added, eyes forwards, watching a small cluster of fireflies. "To think that the world could be so different, that we could be different. I wasn't… I was me, yes, but I was different."

"You were?"

She nodded her head, glancing at him. "I was...I didn't have any of the problems that were caused by my training. I was confident, almost care free in a way. Looking back on it now it seems weird, everyone seemed… off in someway. Probably because things didn't happen like they did here."

Gaara took a moment to think those words over, reflecting on what he had seen as well. She was right, it had been like looking into a pool of water, almost the same yet shifting with the breeze. Would Kira have been like she described if she had been able to live a normal life? He knew that answer. Yes, she would have, because every event in a person's live's molds the outcome. He wondered how much of her life, of his life, would have been different. Would she have made the same connections, bonds as she had now?

"Was I there?" he asked suddenly, unable to stop himself. Would they have even met if their lives had been normal? Kira was older then him by a year, so they wouldn't have been in the same classes. For some reason, he really wanted to know if them meeting was only because of the negative events in their lives.

Kira cocked her head to the side, brows raising before a smile pulled at her lips. He knew then she'd read between the lines of his question without a problem. "Of course you were," she said slyly. "Your family was there too, normal and happy. Your father was still in power." She shifted a bit, seeming to try to find a way to word everything, hesitation flickering across her face for a moment. "We were… We were close. Grew up together with your siblings." Something in her voice seemed to fluctuate, as if she'd cut herself off from something. Was she not telling him something? Curiosity nagged at him, but he shoved it away, reminding himself that it was a very personal topic. He should be glad with what she was willing to share, even if it wasn't all of it. "What about you?"

Her question caught him off guard and Gaara was left staring at her blankly for a few moments trying to figure out just what she was talking about.

"What about me?" he questioned, mimicking her head tilt. She snorted slightly, glancing away again, that odd red flush scattering across her cheekbones again.

"I mean," she clarified. "Was I... well, was I in your 'perfect world'?"

Oh.

Gaara paused, thinking back to his time under the Tsukiyomi. He wasn't sure how to go about telling her what he'd seen. That they all been children again, young children around ten years of age and that yes she had been there, along with Naruto. The first time he'd seen her in the perfect world, Kira had the short hair he'd seen on her in that old photo and the shadow user had nearly launched herself at him in greeting, giving him a tight hug and nearly giggling a 'good morning Gaara!'

How to tell her that he'd watched as if it were normal as time passed and the three of them went to school together and then ended up on the same team. Kira had been knocking sense into Naruto and smiling at him from over her shoulder when the spell had been broken.

Gaara swallowed, his throat suddenly tighter than normal. It seemed he'd wanted her to have a normal life too, though it was no secret in his mind. It was interesting that they would both have such similar dreams. "You were," he said finally. "In much the same way I was in your's. You were smiling and laughing." That was one of the things he truly enjoyed, to watch as her face lit up. He saw something flicker over her face, too quick to really read it before she covered it up with a smile, a thoughtful expression on her face as she looked forward again.

"You know, they might have been fake, but I think, maybe it can give us goals for the future," she said quietly. "I want to be more like the me in our dreams. I don't want to feel… like I do so much of the time. I want to be stronger, more confident in myself." Her hand moved, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear that had fallen free from its places. Her eyes seemed to stare off into the distance, seeing her goal stretched out across the sky. It reminded him of the tattoo drawn across her back.

_The sky has room for every star._

A star, a dream, a goal for everyone to be able to reach out for.

It was a goal that Gaara could stand behind as well, maybe something he himself should try for - to make a goal to better himself. He wasn't sure it was so easy to simply attain them, but he was willing to try. "Once you're healed," he said suddenly, drawing her gaze to his again. "We should start training again." They hadn't gotten much time to learn to fight together, not when the war had been so close at hand. The slow grin that formed on her face seemed to rival the stars in brightness making the young ruler's chest clench in that warm tight feeling he got every time she smiled like that. He didn't understand it, but he liked the feeling.

"That sounds great. I'll be getting this thing off in a few days, switching to a brace." She waved a hand at her leg. Clearly she wasn't a fan of the news, but it was a step in the right direction. "I have a few things I wanted to show you anyway. Maybe you can help me figure out how to expand on them?" She tilted her head in question and Gaara felt the twitch of a smile on his face.

"Of course."

As time wore on, more fireflies filled the air, a few buzzing between and around them. Gaara had to stop himself from batting them away as he watched Kira hold out a hand, pointer finger extended near one. The bug, after a few moments, landed on the finger for a second, skittering across her skin before taking off again. She glanced at him, still smiling before she blinking suddenly, as if remembering a thought long lost in her mind.

"Oh, hey, we should probably do what we came up here to do, eh?" She rubbed the back of her neck, for a moment and Gaara raised a brow. What was she talking about? They were already here talking just like they'd planned. "We were planning on catching the fireflies, yeah?" she pointed out, grinning wider. Gaara eyed her carefully. She did realise they didn't have anything to catch them with, didn't she? Whatever she saw on his face must have relayed that thought because she rolled her eyes and then held out a hand, hesitating for only a moment. "...Give me your hand."

Her own was steady in the air waiting and Gaara stared at it for a long minute before finally letting her do whatever it was she was planning and placed his nearest hand in her waiting one. She seemed to contemplate for a moment, before her hand moved, turning his own palm up and closing his fingers, manually curling them so he was cupping the air. She fidgeted a bit, her own fingers shivered across his palm as she placed it in the air, below a few of the glowing bugs.

"Hold it there," she mumbled, eyes flicking away from his gaze again. Gaara raised a brow but gave a short nod, holding his hand exactly where she left it. Her own lifted, moving above the three little bugs and mirrored his own, cupping it, palm down. Than, very carefully, he watched as she slowly herded the bugs with her hand, pressing down at such a small speed that they didn't buzz off in any direction, simply bobbing up and down lower and lower as her hand closed the distance between it and his own.

Before he knew it their hand were touching, finger tips feather light against each other's wrists, hands forming a small cage around the fireflies. They buzzed within, their light leaking out between cracks in fingers and hands. It was a nearly magical sight, as if they held one of the stars above in their own hands, the light spilling out to touch them both. Kira smiled on the other side of it, the light softly touching her features and setting them aglow. Breathtaking. It was the only word Gaara could come up with in that moment, the warm feel in his chest back stronger than ever.

He couldn't find any words to say to her, none that really encompassed what he felt, none that would mean nearly enough. So he simply smiled back at her, fingers twitching slightly as a bug bumped into it within the cage. It felt like they were holding their own dreams in their hands, as if Kira had plucked those stars from the sky. It only made him feel more confident in the days to come, because if they could hold their dreams so close then maybe they truly were attainable.

Kira lifted her hand and they both watched as the little glowing bugs dispersed back into the air, carrying with them both their hopes for a better future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> his chapter was heavey inspired by the song 'Casecade' by Unlimits, which when tranlated into English discribes Gaara and Kira perfectly.
> 
> 'In our hands, clasped together  
> Light has been born - now, let's set it free.'
> 
> Yeah I know, you all love-hate me. lol.
> 
> Thats all the fluff you get, time to get back to the plot!
> 
> Please tell me what you think!


	22. Questions

"We need to get going or we'll be late," Temari reminded her from where she stood, leaning on the door frame of Kira's room. Her green eyes had been following Kira since she'd arrived, a mothering expression on the blond's face. The shadow user nodded her head, finished off her last braid and sweeping her hair into its normal high tail.

"Give me a minute," she grumbled from her desk chair and bent over to tighten the eyesore that was attached to her leg. The cast and crutches had been gone for two weeks, replaced with the metal and plastic brace that started above her knee and ended a good few inches below the injury. After one week of physical therapy Kira had finally been put back on light duty with the doctor's okay. With a click the brace was set to carry her full weight and then she quickly tugged her ninja pants over it - she bought new clothes with the damn thing in mind - and stood up.

Out of sight, out of mind. Kira certainly didn't need any more questioning glances than she already got, nor did she want those filled with pity. She'd have to get use to it though, since the medical ninja assigned to her didn't think she'd be getting rid of it any time soon, probably a year at the least before removal.

"You doing alright?" the eldest sand sibling asked, standing up straight, frowning when the younger girl wince at the first step on her healing leg. It hurt, but it was bearable, and normally the pain lessened after a few steps. Temari had been keeping a close eye on her since the cast had come off, and while Kira found it comforting, she also wished the blond wouldn't worry so much. She was recovering just fine.

Nodding her head, she grabbed her new metal inlaid tonfas, custom made by the village blacksmith. Tougher and harder to damage than her former ones with the same hidden blades as before. "Yeah, I'm fine. The pain meds should kick in soon. No worries." Nothing very strong, but it was enough to take the edge off. Temari eyed her a moment longer before relenting as Kira slipped her weapons into their holsters. She lead the way out of her room, grabbing her ANBU mask as she went, the older girl falling into step next to her.

"Just take it easy okay? Meetings are boring enough that you shouldn't have much to worry about," Temari noted as they hurried across the building, leaving the Kazekage's family section and started up a set of stairs. Once on the next floor Kira slipped her mask into place.

"I'll be fine," she replied, fighting back a smile at her friend's worrying.

They passed a small group of ninja that she recognized as fellow ANBU, who nodded briefly to her, meeting her eyes behind her wolfish mask. One of them gave her a look that she could only label as disdain, one of his friends quickly nudging him in the ribs to distract him as they passed, Temari glowering at them like a lion. Kira's chest twisted, hating that look, and hating that she was becoming used to it even more.

It seemed even some of her own comrades were falling victim to rumors.

"Don't let it bother you," the blond said under her breath and Kira simply nodded her head. It was too bad really, because it already bothered her and she wasn't sure there was a way to make it not bother her.

Rounding a corner she spotted Gaara heading towards the meeting room and grimaced. They were late after all. The young ruler didn't comment on it, nor did he say anything else as they fell into step next to him, just nodded his head slightly in greeting. They reached the double doors too quickly for her to say anything and Kira stepped to the side as he opened one, letting his sister go through first. Temari glaced at Kira for a moment, but Kira had already stepped into the shadow the door made and was gone in moments. She quickly traversing the negative world of the meeting room and jumping back through on a darkened corner of the rafters above.

She was silently greeted by Shura; the leader of team Fukurō was nearly always present for meetings. He gave her a swift nod from under his cloth veil and then shifted his focus back to the meeting. Leaning on one of the rafter beams, Kira shifted her attention downward to the table and people sitting around it far below as well.

It was a little larger meeting than the others she had attended so far, featuring more than just the Suna elders and advisors. Temari and Kankuro flanked Gaara from his seat at one end of the large circle as was normal. On Temari's other side was Shikamaru Nara, envoy of Konoha to Suna who had been joined by several merchants from Konoha. This meeting centered around trade between the two allied villages if Kira remembered right, which explained the non-ninja and the stacks of paper that were slowly being handed around the room.

Settling in for a long meeting, Kira listened with mild interest regarding goods and how they were to be delivered as well as a calm version of haggling for the best deals from both sides. Suna offered a wide range of supplies available only in the desert, from Prickly Pear fruit to a variety to herbs used in food pills and supplements to exotic amenities such as snake skin. Kohan offered in return fresh produce, water, and medical plants, all in short supply due to desert life.

Temari had been right, it was extremely boring and if the yawn Kankuro - his arm fully healed by now - was covering up and the expression on Shikamaru's face didn't say it, nothing would. Still, no matter how boring it was Kira knew she needed to pay attention. She wasn't there for the meeting, not really.

"Something isn't right," Shura whispered suddenly, drawing her attention at once. His expression was hidden, much like her own but his shoulders had tensed up in the telltale sign of uneasiness Kira knew well from years of working with him. Glancing down at the meeting again, Kira swept her gaze over every inch, but found nothing out of the ordinary.

"What do you mean?" She hated that she had to ask but Shura so often saw things others didn't, it was how he got his name - Shura the Third Eye.

"Council member Dura is too quiet. He often makes a habit of arguing over everything. He's done so, but not as much," he explained, crouching on the beam they stood on. Kira raised a brow he couldn't see.

"Maybe he's just happy with how things are going?" It was true that Suna was getting a lot out of the agreement if she was following it right. He just shook his head at her and Kira frowned, moving to copy him in stance, eyeing the member in question. If she knew anything it was to never brush Shura's words off.

The man was older, gray spreading into his dark hair from the temples and eyes hidden behind half rimmed glasses. He was speaking now, the group conversing about ideal routes from village to village.

"The most direct route is through this plot of land," he said firmly, standing up to lean over the table, nearly bumping Kankuro as he traced a line with his finger across the map laying there.

"While that is true," one of the Konoha guests agreed, tapping a different route that had been drawn out in pen. "This one will avoid areas known to house bandits. The war might be over, but danger still walks the land."

"Not to mention," a Suna council member added. "We can't spare many ninja right now to guard the transports. The other route is longer yes, but much safer. You know this Daru."

True, all true. Even Kira knew that. Most lower ranked missions were suspended until ranks could be filled back up, leaving only important missions to those who were qualified to do them. Escorting goods was not one of them. If she knew that, then everyone down there certainly should have. Shura was right, something was up. Dura continued to stand his ground, and Kira slowly slid her hand to her weapons, just in case.

"That route is long enough that some of the goods could perish," he grumbled, arms folding in front of him, hands in his large sleeves, overlapping each other.

"While your input is appreciated Dura," Gaara spoke calmly, his tone firm. "I believe that in this case we will go with the other route." No room for any more debating Gaara's eyes connected with the older man. The set of his shoulders relaxed but Kira saw the glint of sand shifting about him, so fine it was easy to miss, but deadly all the same.

He saw something too then.

Dura nodded his head and turned to Gaara. "As you wish my lord," he relented bowing his head as he spoke once more. "Your rule is a wise as ever, if just a bit short."

Kira tensed and for a moment she saw Kankuro stiffen, hand flashing to his side pouch before a sudden sharp gust came from nowhere and knocked the puppet master, chair and all, backwards into the wall hard enough the the chair splintered. He cursed, the wind knocked from him and in seconds the room descended into chaos. Dura straightened his hands no longer folded, one still extended in the remains of a jutsu hand sign, the other having slipped a large shark toothed knife from his other sleeve. Wind wrapped around the blade, reminding her very much of Baki's personal move, and then the traitor was moving.

"Short indeed Kazekage!"

Kira moved before even two seconds had passed since her friend had been thrown aside leaving Gaara open to a flank attack. The shadows at her feet swallowed her whole and she shifted through the negative realm faster than she could truly see it because she already knew which shadow to jump to. Gaara's shadow was extended in the direction of the attacker, and before the man could even swing his blade down, before his snarled shout was even fully out, she was there. Tonfa braced against her forearm, she jumped from it as if the darkness had birthed her, catching everyone save the redhead behind her off guard.

Dura's face showed surprise as her weapon met his in more than enough time, stopping its swing halfway through, her arm bearing against his, the screech of metal echoing in the tense air. Several people were shouting now, moving away or towards she wasn't completely sure, her focus forward. Her free hand, armed as well, flipped the tonfa forward and smashed it into the wide open area of his jaw with cracking force.

He went flying, crashing into the wall behind him, giving a brilliant curse as blood dripped down from brutalized lips. Kira shifted her stance and narrowed her eyes, the rest of the elders now on the opposite side of the table. Temari and Shikamaru were now guarding every civilian in the room and Kankuro was next to his brother. No one moved to help her and Kira knew it was because this was her job, not theirs. Good.

Not even a minute had passed yet and she moved forward with quick strides, swiftly stowing a tonfa so she could grab Dura by the wrist still holding his knife, smashing the tonfa she still held into the back of his hand, forcing him to drop the weapon as bones crunched. He screamed, his voice off tone from what she'd heard before but didn't stop to processes as she quickly pulled him to the ground. Freeing both her hands, she gripped his wrist harder and pulled it behind him before stepped on the other hand that had started to move towards the fallen knife. He yelped and drew back, right into her waiting hand. Before he could do much else he was pined, arms behind him, and a knee in the center of his back.

"Nice try," she said flatly as the man grunted and struggled, moving his head so his ear was to the ground. Kira raised a brow when she saw, the gray in his hair was replaced with black, eyes bright blue with the glasses gone. This guy wasn't a traitor at all. He was an imposter.

The would be assassin was much younger now, nearly half the age of the real Dura, and sported a scar across his left cheek. Transformation jutsu then. He scowled at her, spitting on the floor and Kira saw the white of a tooth clatter to the ground along with blood. It didn't really surprise her, she'd hit him pretty solidly.

"I guess the rumors were true about his guard being able to appear from nowhere," he breathed, wincing as Kira dug her knee in more. She didn't like his attitude.

"Good job," Kankuro grumbled from behind her, his footsteps coming closer before he crouched near the head of the guy. "Just who the hell are you?" he growled, the murmur of voices behind her finally coming into Kira's mind now that the target was incapacitated. She felt more than heard Shura near her left side, waiting incase she needed back up. The guy grunted, sneering at the puppet master.

"No one of importance to you," he snarled and Kira narrowed her eyes and twisted his right arm in her hold. The sharp snapping of his bones had him screaming again and talking. "I was just doing my job okay? I was hired!"

"Enough," Gaara commanded suddenly and Kira shifted her gaze to the leader of her village. Arms crossed over his chest the redhead looked at the man who just tried to kill him with nothing but icy green blue eyes. "This isn't the place for an interrogation. Take him to a cell. Baki can deal with him."

Kira nodded her head and Shura finally moved, pulled out a pair of chakra restraints and quickly putting them to use around the guy's wrists. Once that was done Kira stood and Shura pulled the captive up by his shoulders in an iron hard grip. The guy struggled like an animal at first but his now broken forearm kept him manageable. "I'll take him," Shura said easily. "You stay here." There was a hint to his tone that gave Kira the impression he was proud of her and she smiled behind her mask and gave a quick nod.

She watched her team leader march the man from the room with ease, knowing he of all people didn't need back up but that the guards stationed nearby would more than likely be called to help anyway. Turning, she faced Gaara finally, eyes sweeping over him habitually in worry.

"You alright?"

The redhead simply have a brisk nod of his head before turning his attention to the others in the room. Kankuro patted her shoulder as he stood next to her before dropping his hand back to his side. She took that as her cue to make herself scarce, but didn't bother melting back into the shadows, instead she simply walked to the far corner behind her friends and waited.

The council members and Leaf guests were all talking, the guests being more distressed than the rest. It was quickly decided that the meeting would resume in the morning and one of the Suna council offered to escort them back to their rooms. Shikamaru stayed where he was though, waving the others off, his eyes focused solely on Kira from across the room. He had a very odd look on his face, and it made her nervous as she resisted the urge to fidget. Temari caught on to his stare first, eyes flickering between them, a look of worry passing over her face. She might have said something, if the remaining council members hadn't finally gotten their act together and gone from worrying about themselves to their ruler who had just lived through an attack on his life.

Not that Gaara couldn't have easily taken care of such an attack on his own without moving a finger.

"Lord Gaara, are you alright?"

"That was too damn close, how did that ninja get in here?"

"Where is the real Dura?"

Gaara held up a hand to quiet them. "I assure you that I am fine. As you saw, Kira took care of it quickly. As for Dura, we will start a search team." He looked to one of them as he said the last of it and the older woman nodded her head, quickly leaving the room to do so.

One of the younger men in the council scoffed slightly, eyes going to Kira for a moment before back to Gaara. She didn't like that look. "Forgive me Lord Kazekage, but I would hardly call what happened done quickly." His words, sour and hard, got what he wanted as several other quickly chimed in.

"That's true, that man shouldn't have even been able to get into this room."

Every word felt like a blow to the gut. Kira was speechless. It was true that she wasn't well known or that old, but she was still good at her job. They had no idea how good, of course not, those details were kept from her file. A file that was barebones and probably only backed their accusations. She remembers all too clearly the murmured names people and said when they thought she was out of hearing range as a child.

Outsider.

Stray.

Scavenger.

To think after all these years, after she'd finally been accepted by the village, that her position in life would bring everything back to where she'd started. It felt like she'd swallowed lead, her gut heavy and painfully clenched.

Standing near his brother, Kankuro had gone stiff as a bored and his hands were tight fists at his sides. He took a step forward and Kira wondered just how angry his face looked if his tone was anything to go by.

"You shut the hell up! She's done nothing to deserve that."

"Tch." The first one, the one that had spoken first snorted. "Oh? The tell me Kankuro, why didn't she stop him sooner?"

"In case you didn't notice, no one saw that coming either, not even the other ANBU!" the puppet master retorted.

"Shouldn't his guard be better than us though?"

Kira's head was spinning. How the hell had this gone from an attack on Gaara's life to them disputing her loyalty? She wondered if she should step in, but knew it wasn't her place. She wanted to defend herself, even as a small part of her whispered that maybe they were right. Maybe she wasn't good enough to stand at Gaara's side, as a guard, a friend or… anything else.

Gods, what if she had told Gaara how she felt and they did end up together? How much negative effect would that have ended up having on him? Kira closed her eyes and dug her teeth into her bottom lip.

"Are you suggesting, that my father didn't know what he was doing?" Gaara asked evenly, breaking the tense air in the room and causing Kira to open her eyes to look at him. His face remained blank, but the two elders in question seemed to have gone rod straight. "If you'll remember it was the former Kazekage that allowed Kira into the city and then gave her the title of ANBU. I believe we can all agree he was not one to do things on a whim."

Kira saw Temari give her brother a soft smile, silent praise for a well spoken dampener to a rising argument. The man cleared his throat, looking behind briefly as if for support. He didn't get any. "We are simply concerned my Lord. We know your father's judgement was sound, yet, with what just happened, are you sure-"

"It was handled quickly and without any harm to anyone. I think we can all agree that is the best out come any could hope for." Gaara retorted, voice still even, but with an edge to it that could have cut steel. "Your opinion has been heard, yet I will remind you that is indeed all it is. It is not your place to choose who stands by me. You would do well to remember that." Powerful cutting words.

Kira felt herself relax slightly, felt the warmth in her chest over how he was defending her, not at all worried about the accusations it would pose towards himself. He should, a part of her reasoned, but she could hardly tell him that now. It did her no good and her mind and heart were more consumed with other thoughts. Things she needed to keep to herself but that yearned to be released.

Why did he have to make it so easy for her to love him?

"I've spoken to the Hokage on several occasions," Shikamaru chimed in, sounding ever so slightly annoyed. He had an inquisitive expression and had directed his attention to the elders despite all three sand siblings giving him varied degrees of surprised looks. "He has commented many times that Lord Gaara has done exceptionally well for his age and that he fully supports his decisions." As if he found something amusing a slow smirk twitched on his lips. "From what I've seen his choice in body guards isn't bad either, as we just saw. Or are you basing her worth on the fact that she just got off medical leave, due to an injury she got in the war defending him and this village, which I would assume means you as well?"

Stunned silence met the retort.

Temari gave him a warm smile Kira wasn't sure she'd even seen on the blond's face before. It held something within it that was more than being thankful towards him. Kankuro crossed his arms and glowered, still agitated. When no one said anything, Gaara moved to speak once more.

"If that is all you are free to leave. As our guests were informed, we will reconvene tomorrow." While his words said they could leave, his tone certain meant they would leave. Thankfully no one tried to go against that, not even the loud mouth that she still didn't have a name for. It didn't matter; he didn't matter, nor did his words. At least that's what she tried to tell herself.

Once the door had shut behind all of them, leaving five people inside, Kira felt the air lighten, the suffocating tension gone instantly. Kankuro turned to look at her almost as soon as the door clicked shut, his face still tense with anger but eyes filled with worry. She hadn't moved, not a single inch since taking her spot and even now she felt nailed into place by what had just happened.

"You alright?" Kankuro asked.

Slowly Kira nodded her head, reaching up with slightly shaky fingers and pulled her mask off. Get a grip, she told herself. They don't matter. But they did, else they wouldn't have been at the meeting. The puppet master saw straight through her the moment her mask was off.

"They don't know what they're talking about Kira," he grumbled soothingly. The shadow user just shook her head and walked over to them, giving Temari a tentative smile that only made the blond look more worried than she had this morning.

Stop worrying everyone damn it.

Gaara glanced to her, eyes concerned but face otherwise blank. She wished she'd left her mask on, but seeing as everyone knew her face already it seemed silly to keep it on - even Shikamaru knew thanks to Kakashi blatantly saying it in the hospital room. She didn't want to depend on the thing to be able to face people. Gaara had come up with a solution during the war, but someday, she'd need to face the world without being covered up. This way she started small.

"I know what my capabilities are," she said finally, picking a spot on the far wall to look at. "As do you. That's all that matters." Maybe if she said it enough she could convince herself. Maybe if she said it she could get them to stop worrying about her for three seconds. Shikamaru seemed to take the bait for a different conversation at least.

"Speaking of capabilities," he drawled out, eyes sharply connecting with her's when she glanced to him. "What exactly is yours?"

That was right, he'd seen it.

Everyone in the room had seen her Shadow Shift, though only the ninja probably understood what had really happened. Shit. She bit her lip and looked at Gaara beseechingly. Was it okay to tell him? The redhead's eyes shifted from her's to the boy's in question and then back to her. After a moment he gave a small nod.

"We can trust our closest allies to keep things quiet I would think." As he spoke he looked to the Leaf ninja again and Shikamaru nodded in agreement. Kira supposed he was right, if they could trust anyone it was the Leaf Village. She took in a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves.

"If you're asking for some in depth explanation, I can't give you one. All I know is I've always been able to do it. "

"Do what exactly?" the Nara boy prompted, though she had a feeling he already had an idea of what she'd done.

"Jump into shadows. Enter a different world through one and reappear through another." She shrugged her shoulders as he gave her quizzical look, brows pulled together. "I'm not from here, though where I am from… I don't know that either. Can't remember." Five years of blank space in her mind was all she had. Shikamaru simply nodded his head, looking interested as he stroked his chin. They may have very well stood there for a long time at the rate things were going, but after a few seconds and a still worried glance from Temari, the blond spoke up.

"You should help her," she told the Leaf ninja, who gave her a single raised eyebrow. "You know, as a favor to me, cause we're dating."

Stunned silence filled the room, effecting everyone present, including the two who were supposedly involved. Kira's brain came to a crashing halt as she watched the two, unable to look away and gauge the two boys behind her. Shikamaru simply blinked once, lowered his hand and raised both eyebrows.

"But we're not?" he stated, confused. Temari was still staring at him, her face slowly turning red. She cleared her throat, shifting her feet around for a second before she simply smiled.

"Right, I meant to ask..." She took a step closer to him, hands behind her back. "Would you like to start dating?" Straight to the point, how Temari. It was kind of… odd, to see the girl Kira had always seen as an unbending force, a proud lion protecting her family, flirting. Shikamaru blinked a few times again, before looking off to the side, the small hint of red dusting his cheek bones.

"Tch. Sure. Did you have to make a spectacle of it though? Damn woman..."

Well, that was easy… was it really that easy?

Kira shifted her gaze briefly to look at Gaara's profile. He was looking at the scene with a bewildered, confused look on his face. He had absolutely no idea what had just happened, did he? Kira mentally sighed. No, it really wouldn't be that easy. Not for her. Not with him.

Kira turned her attention back to the newly announced couple. Temari smirked at Shikamaru, who just gave her a tired, exasperated look. "Then you'll do this for me, yeah?" she mused. The Leaf envoy gave a small sigh, a hand rubbing at the back of his neck.

"I was going to anyway, you know," he grumbled, meeting Kira's watching eyes. "Mind if we chat for a bit? It's a drag, but I need more information."

Excitement bubbled up in her chest at the idea of getting somewhere with her past, but it was short lived, the fire snuffed out when she remembered who she was. Gaara's gaurd. She couldn't just up and leave. He came first. That was her duty, her own personal rule.

"Go." The soft, clear voice of the Kazekage ran off her troubled thoughts before she could even voice them. Looking at him, she frowned before giving a startled twitch of her shoulders. He was smiling, just one of those small slight ones, but still smiling all the same. At her. Shit. "Take an hour Kira. Kankuro can stay with me till you get back." Not an order, but an offer. Chewing on her lower lip for a moment she glanced at Kankuro for the first time. Her friend looked beyond confused by the last few minutes, his mind clearly elsewhere. Still he met her gaze and nodded one, agreeing with Gaara.

Could she really pass this up?

Looking back at Shikamaru she knew in moments that no, she really couldn't. Nodding her head she left her spot near the two siblings and followed him as he lead the way. Passing by Temari, Kira saw a knowing smile on her face and it occurred to her that it was possible her whole scene was done on purpose. Not to just get Kira help on finding out who she was and getting the ball moving on her own romantic intentions, but to redirect the boys' attention off of her. Her brothers and Shikamaru were clearly no longer thinking about what had happened with the council now.

Walking out the door with Shikamaru, Kira smiled softly to herself at the blond's kindness. She should thank her properly later. Kira's smile only grew as the door clicked shut and through the thick wall Kankuro's voice suddenly boomed out, a hint of panic lacing his words

"What the fuck just happened?"

His sister's snarled reply quickly followed.

"Oh, grow up Kankuro!"

Kira covered her mouth with a hand and snorted a laugh before following Shikamaru down the hall who pointedly ignored the entire event.

…

Gaara watched from just under the lip of the covered training area as Kira sparred with Aya a few yards away. The leader of their ANBU group stood off to the side watching with his arms firmly crossed. It wasn't as intense as it had been the first time he'd seen her sparring with her team; rather it was a longer session with less difficulty just as the medic assigned to the raven haired girl had instructed. Two months off the job was enough to make anyone a little rusty, and with an injury like hers, Kira had to be careful. Gaara was just glad her team was willing to work with her on it.

Still, Kira herself hadn't been easy to convince to actually do her sessions, stating it took time away from her actual job. She was stubborn, and the redhead had been forced to compromise. He'd stay nearby while she trained, that way she knew he was safe. It did him some good anyway, getting out of that office and the pile of papers that awaited his return. Plus, this gave him a chance to do some work that didn't need to be done in the office.

"Lord Gaara," Baki greeted as he walked into hearing range. Gaara nodded at his former team captain in greeting, having asked the man here himself. He could have summoned him to the office, but for this discussion he preferred Kira not hear. The repetitive clack of her tonfas hitting Aya's short sword saw to that. Baki wore his normal stoic expression as he stepped up beside his leader. "What can I do for you?"

"I need you to look into something," Gaara replied, his eyes still forward watching the two girls as Kira flipped out of the way of a well timed slash. Seeing as the elder man was head of the intel gathering division, Gaara had no doubt that he could handle it. "I would like to find out where the rumors centering on Kira and myself are coming from."

Even if it had been a few days since the entire incident, it still worried the redhead. Not just worried, it bothered him. Hearing people speak about Kira that way - and right in front of her - had been enough to make him angry. The stuff about him was minor and he'd dealt with things like it before, but Kira? That bothered him, and even if she wouldn't say anything he knew it bothered her too.

Baki didn't seem surprised and simply nodded his head. "It would be best to deal with it before it gets out of hand." True enough, though Gaara wondered if it was a bit too late. "I'll take care of it and report back once I find something of note."

Gaara dismissed him with a nod, and Baki left without another word. He could always count on his former teacher to do as he was ordered and not press on the reasoning behind it, probably because he already knew.

He was good at his job, after all.

After a few minutes Gaara wandered over to a bench on the far wall, taking his weapon off his back and sitting down. He watched silently as the ANBU team worked, both girls matching each other easily in skill when it came to none jutsu combat. Give what he knew of each member's abilities, he knew that if it wasn't for her injury, Kira would have been overpowering her teammate. Aya was a specialized case; her strength in sealing jutsu gave her an edge that most didn't have. The blond had mastered several unique seals that weren't just focused on chakra and movement, the most interesting of which was her Pain Seal which blocked pain receptors from transmitting to the brain. Since their team didn't have a medic, Gaara could only guess that ability was a rather useful temporary measure.

He wondered if Kira needed that now; watching her footwork, her left leg was lacking in the strength its counterpart had. He wondered if she was working too hard, pushing too much on a still healing wound. Kira had always been a bit reckless with her own well being, both on the job and off. Part of him had wanted to talk to her about that attack on his life a few days ago a bit more personally. Kira had to have known his defence would have stopped the would be assassin, yet she'd still thrown herself into harm's way.

One misstep and she could have gotten seriously hurt.

She hadn't, but he still found her actions to be reckless, a trait he was hoping at some point he could get her to change. A ninja couldn't been selfless, not if they wished to live, not when they didn't have a defensive move like himself with the sand. Shadows weren't always a viable resource during the day, not if there was nothing to cast them.

He didn't notice his sister until she was nearly on top of him, too focused on what he was watching. Temari sat down next to him silently, and watched the battle as well for a few minutes. He watched Kira dodge out of the way of a blow, and striking back with a tonfa, only for Aya's blade to catch it. A well placed kick to her arm had Kira backtracking again, jumping a few feet back and landing harder then she should have. He tensed slightly when she flinched, faltering on her feet a bit before recovering and going back at it.

"What have the doctors said?" Temari asked, apparently seeing the pained look on Kira's face as well. Gaara leaned back against the bench with a slight frown.

"She's healed well enough. They wouldn't have okayed her for duty if she wasn't."

"But?"

He sighed slightly, glancing to his sister. She always knew when he was leaving things out on purpose, and he supposed she had a right to know. Temari was the eldest in their household, and as such she tended to look after everyone. "They aren't sure the nerves that were damaged will ever calm down completely. They said she might always feel some pain."

He hoped they were wrong. If they weren't, Kira would always have a constant reminder of how she got that wound, and while her nightmares had lessened, it would be hard to move forward if that were the case. "Will the Leaf Emissaries be leaving as planned?" Best to change the subject before Kira caught wind of it. His sister nodded her head.

"Shikamaru plans on leaving tomorrow morning," she replied a soft smile on her face as she spoke of the envoy. "He has some work to do at home I suppose. He wants to look into Kira's power and they have more records on earth chakra based jutsu then we do. He'll send a message about when we'll take our turn to visit them and finish up trade agreements."

Gaara nodded his head, understanding why the meeting had been concluded unfinished. Since the attack on him the merchants were weary and it had been a very slow process. In the end it had been concluded that the state of affairs would be finished in Konoha at a later date. "You aren't disappointed, that he is leaving?" he asked finally, gaining a surprised look from the blond.

The young ruler would be lying if he said the events that had followed after the elders had left the meeting hadn't surprised him. More than surprised; confused and bewildered. He hadn't seen that coming and while he hadn't voiced it like his brother he still had not idea how to process it. Temari just smiled at him before looking forward again to check on Kira. They were still at it, the sound of their weapons sounding in the air as they collided.

"I am but I knew what we were getting into long before I asked," she pointed out. "Besides, he might be leaving but I'll be heading out in a few days myself, so it's not like we'll be apart for too long." She was right; as an envoy she'd be headed to the Leaf within the week, the idea being that one or the other would always be out in the field to keep the villages' bound strong. Her words had him thinking though, confusion bubbling up in mind.

"If you knew things would be complicated, why would you want to start anything?" His brows pulled together, wondering if his own words even made sense. Temari simply raised a brow at him, smile still firmly in place.

"I did it, because I care about him. A lot. Maybe I even love him." She shrugged her shoulders as if admitting that wasn't a big deal, but he spotted a small dusting of pink across her cheekbones either way. Gaara just stared at her, not understanding how she could say that so easily, not understanding how she knew. So, for the first time in quite a while he simply stated exactly what he was thinking.

"I don't understand."

That was followed with a league of silence as the echoes of of the sparring match in front of them did nothing to fill the void. Temari seemed hesitant to break it, her face thoughtful as she watched her friends clash, Shura barking at them when he saw something Gaara himself didn't.

Then, all at once, she sighed, her entire body caught up in the motion as she blew out the air. "Yeah, I guess I can't blame you for that," she relented, rubbing her neck slightly as she leaned back on the bench. "I figured at some point I'd have to talk to you about this. You're basically seventeen now after all, wasn't thinking it was today but hey, why not?"

Talk? Talk about what? He was sure his sister was speaking plainly as she always did but quite suddenly everything seemed… confusing. Still, Temari simply took in a deep breath before continuing.

"Love, and the feeling leading up to it, aren't an easy thing to pinpoint or explain. I think it's because it's just so vast. There are so many types of it and everyone feels and experiences them a different way. Like how you felt when father told you the truth about mom."

When Gaara had found out his mother had loved him. There was that word again. Love. Gaara understood the world, remembered what his uncle had said about it. What he didn't really understand was how it happened. When he'd been told the truth he'd been happy, still was. A sense of belonging has slipped into place, filling a hole he hadn't even known was there. He also knew that she was right, that there were different kinds. How he felt about his siblings differed from how he cared for Naruto or the village. His family was important to him, a fierce tie that he could imagine not having.

So maybe, loving one's family came so naturally he couldn't truly pinpoint how it had happened. He wasn't sure he'd always felt that way about them, not before Naruto, not when he'd carved that word onto his skin as a reminder to only love himself. After that, things had changed so drastically that the sand user couldn't say when those pieces had fallen into place, much like his realisation for how he felt about his mother.

Looking to his sister he nodded slightly, still bewildered but less so. "Yet, how you feel about Nara is different from our family?" That was easy enough to tell, but Gaara wasn't sure how he himself could tell the difference if it happened. He wasn't blind, he'd seen people his age and older around the village interacting so much closer than just friends or family. Holding hands, kissing, the simplest touch turned into something that meant something completely different depending on the person.

"Well, yeah," Temari agreed with a nod, meeting his gaze with a warm set of blue eyes. "I think from the moment I first met the guy I knew here was something different about him. I got curious after our match in the finals. I wanted to know more." She shrugged again, pulling at one of her sections of hair as if to secure it better. He tilted his head, curiousity over power the confusion if only for a moment.

"How is it different?" How do I tell? For once, he didn't have the nerve to actually say what he really meant. He might as well have been walking blind. Temari hummed, nodding her head, seeming to read his thoughts.

"It's just like I said Gaara, it's different for everyone, but the first time that happens, well, it becomes easier after that, to tell the difference." She tapped her finger on one of her legs, thinking. "Do you remember in the Land of Iron, when Sakura pulled that stunt?" She waited and Gaara nodded his head, remembering that event rather clearly. The girl had meant well, even he saw that, but she'd gone about it the wrong way. If there was one thing he knew, you didn't throw around those words carelessly. "I saw through her pretty quickly, and then I saw the way Sai looked at her when she said it," Temari mused, getting off track, but Gaara didn't stop her. "It's like once you feel it yourself, you can see it in others better."

"I'm not sure how this helps me," he said finally, troubled. It wasn't often that he thought about it, but every once in awhile Gaara would wonder about his future. He'd wonder if he would ever find that kind of companionship, or if he would be able to tell when it was there. His sister's hand found its way onto his shoulder and he looked at her, wondering if there was truely any chance of that happening. She gave him a soft, knowing look and squeezed his shoulder.

"Sometimes, I think, love can sneak up on people. It's not always in your face or there from the beginning. It can be hot and fast, devouring everything like fire, but I think it can also be soothing, slow and quiet, like a plant growing." She shifted her gaze to the ANBU team again and Gaara glanced at them to see they had stopped. He hadn't even realise the clank of metal had quieted. The three of them stood close together, the two girls listening to their elder, Aya's hands free at her sides, ready if Kira faltered due to the visible tremor in her left leg. Worry edged at his mind at the tremble and the fine layer of sand near the group shifted slightly under his will.

"What does it feel like?" he asked quietly, not really meaning to voice it, but knowing it was too late to take it hand on his shoulder didn't falter at the question, in fact his sister gave a small, quiet laugh, void of any mockery.

"It's a sense of wanting to be near them," she started, her voice just as quiet and when he looked to his sister she had his soft, unguarded look about her face that made her seem somehow younger, with less sharply carved edges. "It's this instant wanting to always be near them and to want to be there for them, protect them. You'd give your life for them without a second thought because nothing would be the same without them, because they make your skin tingle and your heart ache in a way that you never want to stop having. It's feeling like you belong with them, Gaara. Them and no one else, because unlike everyone else they don't just keep you steady on your feet, they make you stand taller. They make you stronger." She gave him a smile a small amount of worry in it and squeezed his shoulder again. "Does that make sense?"

Did it?

Yes. No. Maybe.

A sense of belonging. Not just in the world or in the village but with one person. Gaara let his eyes shift forward, eyes on the group again but not really seeing them. It had taken him a long time to find a sense of belonging in this world and he could only hope it didn't take as long to find that person.

At least for now, he had people that cared about him in different ways and that was enough. For now. Silently he reached up with his hand and touched his sister. He was glad he had someone like her looking out for him.

"Thank you, Temari," he said finally and his sister simply hummed in reply.

"Anytime."

 


	23. Reverberation

In the days that followed Shikamaru's departure from Suna the weather turned from the mild, ash hot of spring, to the inferno that was summer. Two weeks in and all she could think about was how hot it was as the sun overhead blazed in the clear sky. Days had begun to melt together for Kira, the heat of the day seeping through even the thick sandstone that made up the Kazekage tower, leaving her drained and tired. She couldn't quiet remember if Temari had left two days ago or if it had been three. She wasn't even completely sure what she had eaten that morning, leaving her to wonder if her brain was melting and would soon drip from her ears. There was a solitary fan in the corner of the Kazekage's office that served as the only dampener on the heat, the large windows behind Gaara's desk holding no blinds or curtains.

Yet, despite the heat beating down on him, the young ruler didn't seem phased, skin dry of sweat and eyes never pausing as he read over the stacks of paper in front of him. This of course meant Kira wouldn't complain, no matter how much the sweat on her back was beginning to make her itch. And oh god, did it itch. Sitting back on the couch in the room, she tried to focus her attention on the winding string of knots in her hands while staying alert.

It just wasn't easy when she was so tired.

She often wondered why and how, after living in the desert her whole life, she had never really adjusted to the temperature of it. Her body just seemingly refused to cooperate, her skin turning red instead of a darkening brown and her sweat glands soaking her underlayer of clothes by the end of the day. It was manageable for most of the year, but during the summer it was nearly insufferable. Kankuro always found it fun to tease her and she always ended her days with long, ice cold shower that lasted about five minutes. It would have been longer, but water was too precious a resource to do much more. The heat was at least one thing that hadn't changed no matter what else happened. It was a comfort, seeing as everything else in her life had changed so drastically in the last year. Not just for her, but for everyone.

Sighing quietly, Kira finished off another knot and set the start of a necklace down on her lap. She brought a hand up and rubbed the bridge of her nose and the corners of her eyes, trying to message some energy into the area. She didn't want to think about everything that had been happening, didn't want to think about the rumors still milling about. Her mind was a constant swamp of heat exhaustion and worries, leaving her to ponder each and every one of them while she laid in bed at night.

She tried to focus on the less painful ones, tried to remember that the Nara boy was now looking into the archives for her to see if he could figure out just where she'd come from. She didn't expect news anytime soon as she knew he was quite busy with his own job, but she was still thankful. The two of them had spoken at length about her power while he was here and touched briefly on the fact that her mind refused to give her anything on who she had been before coming to Suna. Shikamaru was a very inquisitive, pondering person with a dry sense of humor. The more she'd spoken with him, the more she'd seen just why Temari liked him so much.

"Are you alright?" The soft inquiry of her friend, boss, and the boy she loved, brought her out of her internal thoughts. The redhead had paused, hand mid way to picking up the next report on the shorter of the two piles on his desk. He was giving her that worried, subtlely curious look and she felt her lips twitch into a small smile. She was always worrying him it seemed, but perhaps it was only fair, given she spent so much time worrying about him.

All's fair in love and war, right?

"Yeah. Just sleepy," she assured him, knowing that he knew how the heat made her feel. She had a sneaking suspicion she was the only real reason there was even a fan in the room to begin with. It was nice to break up her day like this, being able to speak with the redhead easily for a little while before being his silent shadow again. It had been an argument that he'd won too easily, but Kira supposed she couldn't play bodyguard every minute of the day. So around lunch time she took two hours off and while she could do whatever she wished, she normally stayed close by anyway, her ANBU mask tucked away.

Gaara didn't particularly like that fact, but there wasn't anything he could do either and she knew it. Plus, she knew he enjoyed her company enough that he let it slide rather quickly.

He nodded his head, accepting her answer and pulling the paper in his hand in front of him. She watched him for a moment as he read the first few lines of the report before he suddenly stopped again, the ghost of a frown appearing on his face. She straighten, brow raising. "What's up?" It could have been anything; those papers held everything from reports of ANBU bingo book updates to a merchant asking permission to sell furs.

His eyes flashed up to hers before he replied, sending that all too familiar chill up and down her spine. _Gods, she loved that color_. She clamped down on the feel quickly, snarling at herself to stop it. It can't happen, she couldn't tell him, not after what she'd seen during the meeting, not when he was taking enough heat from her being his guard.

"There have been reports of strange thefts occurring around the border with the Leaf from various different small villages several times now." He set the paper down and shuffled through the finished pile, plucking one out and looking it over in comparison. "It's been going on for a few weeks now."

"It's probably just a new outcropping of bandits," Kira assured him, remembering him talking about it a few times over the past week. "They're taking advantage of the fact that everyone is still recovering from the war." Even after nearly four months, the shadows of those events were still hanging there, if only a little lower. Gaara kept eye contact with her a few more moments before finally letting her gaze go with a small nod.

"Perhaps you are right. I will see about putting a team together to look into it," he decided, picking up both reports and setting them in their own pile to remind him of it later. Kira looked at the stack of paper again and felt her eye twitch.

She was suddenly very glad she'd never cared about being a Kage.

"Do you want any help?" she asked, standing up after putting her twine aside. "I can… Sort them for you?" Office skills weren't exactly her strong point. Why they expected people who trained to fight on a battlefield to do paperwork all day was beyond her. Gaara gave her an amused look as she shuffled over to the front of his desk and started peering over the documents, the scribbles of words and titles meaning little to her. He looked like he might have actually accepted her help, but right as he opened his mouth something dark outside the window caught her eye, causing her to tense and him to pause in speaking.

Something dark grew in the bright sunny day, too dispersed and flowing to be anything living, for the wind pulled and tugged at the shape far too easily. It took Kira about half a moment to realize what she was staring at was a plume of smoke. "What the hell?" Fires were for the most part band in Suna, only small contained ones allowed during the winter in fireplaces, but where there was smoke…

Her eyes followed the dancing mass to where it slipped behind buildings, coming from the business area in the corner where -

Her mind halted suddenly, knowing that Gaara had turned to look as well, but not realising just what that direction meant, not as quickly as she did.

"That's… it can't be," she whispered breathlessly, her lung refusing to work properly. She knew that part of town as well as she knew the back of her own damn hand. "The parlor..." She saw Gaara stand up at her words, saw the realisation flit over his face.

"We don't know that for sure," he soothed and he was right, but for some reason she knew it couldn't be anything else. The building had sat unchanged since her mother's death due to the fact that no one had any interest in it. Thus, Kira hadn't bothered to pack things up, even if several of her mother's friends had said they would help. To do so had been too painful a thought at the time and then the war had happened and Kira had avoided the building since.

Their eyes met again and for a moment both were still and silent, and Kira wasn't sure why her mind stopped racing and her hands stopped shaking but they did. Then Gaara gave the smallest of nods, perhaps seeing something in her eyes that she herself didn't comprehend, and suddenly they were both moving. Papers and twine left behind, both teens flitted from the office and made a sharp turn to the door that led to an outside balcony, a trap door on the floor of it and a ladder below. It was a fire escape that was hardly used and somehow seemed taunting now to Kira as she passed it up and stepped onto the stone railing, the ground two stories below.

She was preparing to jump - even as her leg ached at the mere thought of it - her mind not working correctly enough to feel good about jumping through shadows, when Gaara stopped her. Or rather his sand did. A sheet of it appeared, pressing against the lip of the railing, hovering there as if it belong. She didn't move, confused for a moment before the redhead jumped up onto it like he did often when wanting to travel fast. He didn't have his gourd on him, she noted, but that didn't mean he couldn't control the sand below. Turning he raised a pale brow and held out a hand to her.

It took her a moment, but then she realised he was offering her a ride.

Oh.

Heat flooded her cheeks at that as she took his offer and stood beside him rather close on his cloud of sand. Her heart kicked into double time and she would have been flustered by this even more so if it weren't for the growing plume of smoke that they headed towards. The wind whipped her hair back, picking up her tied strands and combing back any that had come loose.

It took everything she had to not start panicking when, as they closed in on the source, it became more and more clear that Kira had been right, a sick twisting in her gut at the thought of it. Even before they truly arrived she saw her childhood home - the mostly stone building edged in pale wood and adorned with a few stained glass windows - engulfed in flames.

As their transportation stopped a few yards back, still anchored in the sky, Kira looked it over frantically. Two of the stain glass windows on the top floor were untouched by the licking tongues of yellow, orange, and white. Fire crept up the sides, smothering the door in and chewing through the memories inside. Memories of her mother that she'd so stupidly avoided.

There were people below them shouting, curious and mostly concerned civilians - a fire like this during the summer was something they had a right to be worried about - and a small group of ninja keeping the former back. Two of the ninja appeared to be water users, as spouts were shot off at the flames that tried to reach out at near by buildings. Kira could hardly watch that though, her eyes were back on the stain glass windows in seconds, watching as the flames got closer and closer to them.

If the windows were clear, would the rooms behind them be safe? Her heart lurched at the thought of her mother's room - all of that color and life - being turned to ash just as her body had been. It made a deep yearning claw its way to the front of her mind, a need to save something, anything in that room. Her paints, a piece of artwork, her bracelets, _anything_. She could just grab the first thing she saw and be out in seconds right? Just jump from the floating sand she was on through the window and be back out in seconds. The flames weren't growing that fast.

Her body took a step forward, control by her heart instead of her mind even as it tried to reason that is was a bad idea. Another foot rose and fell and she moved to do so again, only for a hand to suddenly grasp at her forearm. Her head whipped around to see Gaara staring her down, eyes anxious and worried. He shook his head at her.

"You can't go in there." It seemed like he always knew what she was thinking. Still, Kira gave him a pleading look, silently asking him to let go of her. The redhead simply gave her a hard look and shook his head again and then silently started to form up sand around the sides of the building to keep the flames at bay. She knew he was right, the rational part of her brain telling her that from the start, yet another part of her refused to acknowledge that. He didn't understand, couldn't know what it felt like to watch her memories literally go up in smoke. She had to do something. She tugged at the hold on her arms, but the grip only tightened at her feeble attempt.

The window she'd been eyeing exploded and Kira flinched, hunching her shoulders as colorful glass scattered into the flames. Smoke billowed out from the new opening proving that she had been wrong about her fantic plan. Her gut feel into her feet at the sight. If she'd gone in there she would have been surrounded by flames. After a moment the new opening was covered by the rising walls of sand, baring all entrances completely. Her legs shivered, the still not completely healed one protesting slightly at the action before she all at once collapsed onto her knees, hands clenching in the sand. Gaara let go of her, clearly surprised by the movement, but didn't say anything and slowly maneuvered them towards the ground..

Kira watched numbly as he finished enclosing the torched building in sand, stopping the branching flames from growing to other homes. The few water users moved to the top of those walls and continued their job without pause. Kira saw all of it through a haze of shock and pain, her whole body trembling despite the heat of the day. Her eyes were pinned to the rising tower of smoke, her thoughts so frantically consuming that she didn't realise Gaara had set them back on the ground until he put a hand on her shoulder in a comforting manner.

"Why?" she whispered finally, her voice some what hoarse due to how dry her throat was. Her eyes were stinging from the smoke that was wafting into them as she blinked but remained just as dry even as her heart cried out that same word with all the hurt and confusion she felt. The hand on her shoulder gave a small squeeze.

"I don't know," Gaara replied after a moment, his head swiveled to the ninja working to get the fire out. "We'll find out, I promise."

Kira wasn't sure he'd ever been the one to initiate a promise between them, the surprise of that diverting her attention for a moment as she looked to him. His face was stone, emotionless and blank; even his eyes were that of a still pond. Swallowing tightly she just nodded her head and looked back at her old home. Slowly, she reached her hand up and covered his, trying to still the trembling in her limbs.

They didn't move from that spot until the fire was out and the sand walls were brought down. Two hours passed. Then three, then four. By then most of the civilians had been ushered away and Kankuro had showed up with both Baki and Shura on his heels. Once the two older men deemed the building safe - the stone blackened in places but still strong and stable - the group of them entered, Kankuro taking Gaara's place at her side.

It felt like walking into a graveyard. Ashes and burn pieces of decor littered the ground like tombstones, walls littered with scorch marks and smoke damage like fresh scars. The burned and partly melted remains of her mother's tattoo chairs and trays met them at the entrance as if to say 'it doesn't get any better'. A scarecrow in a field during a famine. Glass and soot ground under their footsteps as if they were bones, the young Kazekage and the two older ANBU spreading out to keep the promises Gaara had made her to figure out the cause. The puppet master followed his friend up the stairs to the living quarters with Kira feeling a bit like a ghost, it was all too surreal.

It was still quiet warm upstairs, what remained of the heat still rising to gather there. Kira's feet led her to her mother's room first, hoping to salvage something from the fire. Her door was gone, only blackened hinges half clinging to the frame were left behind. She stepped over to ashen wood in the doorway and entered the room.

There wasn't much left, nearly everything in the room had been flamable, from the long carved wooden furniture to the fiber dream catcher that had been hung on the far wall. An imprint of the large round object remained, and Kira numbly ran her hand over it, streaking the soot that clung there. The wall was still hot, hot enough that it scalded the pads of her fingers and she drew them back to eye the blackened skin.

"Kira?" The voice of the puppet master, her friend, had her turning at the waist to look at him. Kankuro stood a few feet into the room, staying back as if to give her space. His face was clean of paint, something she only realised now, and thus the lines of worry were easily seen upon it. "You alright?"

He asked not because it was something people were suppose to say, but because Kira knew that he cared about her, knew that she'd avoided coming back to this house because it had hurt too much. It didn't just hurt now though, it felt like claws had been shoved into her chest, each one digging in a little more with every breath. She shook her head, turning back around.

"Would you be?" she asked in return, eyes skimming the room for anything she could hold on to. All she saw were ashes and bones and melted piles of metal. Remains not worth a second glance. Kira didn't see anything that could have started the fire either, but she'd known it wouldn't be in her mother's room, seeing as it appeared to be the last spot the fire had spread too. She curled her fingers inward as she dropped her hands to the side and turned back around, not expecting an answer from Kankuro. He didn't say anything, couldn't seem to find anything to say to her question. She couldn't blame him.

"Let's keep looking," she said, a tired tone in her voice.

Kankuro simply nodded his head, reaching out and giving her closest shoulder a quick rub as she passed. She just nodded as well, thankful for the contact. They spent the next hour and a half picking through rooms and halls. Kira wasn't trained to know too much about fire damage, but she did know how to tell when something looked off in an environment, so she simply kept her eyes open. A part of her kept looking for something salvageable, but between the broken glass, charred wood and soot covered surfaces she soon realised there was no point. A few minutes into the search they saw a few ninja pass them, fire specialist that might catch something they missed. Kira and Kankuro stayed out of there way, pick through things as they waited and after they had left an hour later, the two friends made their way back to the original group.

They found the two older ANBU and Gaara in what had been at one time Kira's old bedroom. Shura was kneeling on the ground, hand pressed firmly to the middle of the floor, eyes open and a ring of glowing white light around his pupils. Shura the Third Eye. Kira had seen her teammate use his personally crafted Jutsu many times. Often he didn't even need to activate it to see what he needed, but for something like this, maybe he did.

Gaara's eyes flickered to her's for a moment, asking a silent question. Did you find anything? She knew he didn't mean signs of the start of the fire. Kira looked away, setting her gaze on Baki who was shifting through the piled up remains of a bed frame, and shook her head. Moments later Shura moved and her eyes went to him, as did everyone else's. The raven haired man blinked a few times, his eyes returning to the normal gray that Kira often thought must have been blue once.

"The fire specialists are right. After having it pointed out it's easy to see the fire was started here," he started and Baki let the wood in his hands fall back into place with a small 'thump'.

"Did you find anything else that they didn't?" the head of intelligence asked and Kira tensed slightly at the words. Her eyes flitted about the room, and indeed the walls were darker, covered in more soot and smoke dust than anywhere else. It was subtle, but ninja were trained to see subtle. Kira swallowed, taking another step into the room to get their attention.

"How?" she asked, confused, cutting off what Shura would have said. "This room should have been all but empty save the bed frame and a few papers." It had been her room, and Kira had moved, taking what belongings she had with her. "We cut off the power weeks ago." That left no room for electrical malfunction being the cause. It was only a few seconds after the words left her mouth that her sharply train mind gave her the answer, the words repeated aloud by Shura as if to confirm them.

"Arson," he stated, standing up once more. "The investigators said just what you did, and given the location other posibilities seem slim." He looked to Gaara and then to Kira a moment later and she could have sworn he was frowning under the veil he wore to hide his torn face. "Normally I wouldn't say it was much more than that but this room faces towards the village, not away, it wouldn't have been easy for someone to get in this way and not be seen."

"Not to mention that there wasn't much stuff in here to really start a fire with," Kankuro pointed out, rubbing his neck. "We cleaned it out pretty well."

"I'm aware," Shura agreed but was still looking at Kira and the shadow user was starting to feel like those claws in her chest were digging in faster than before. What was he getting at. "That's why I have my suspicions that they chose this room on purpose, knowing full well who it belong to."

Everyone in the room tensed, and finally, Gaara spoke.

"You're implying this was a threat, directed at Kira?" His voice was ice cold, enough so that it made chill go up Kira's spine, freezing her into place. Shura simply gave a single nod.

"With what has been going on as of late, it wouldn't surprise me."

The rumors. He was talking about the ear turning murmurs about her, about the council making a scene about it. The talons slid in fully and choked her breath, sinking into her guts. No one needed to tell her what this kind of threat was implying, not with the location and use of fire, destroying the house she'd first called home. She could hear the venom from the claws sizzling in her blood, alighting it with fear.

She wasn't welcome in Suna anymore.

…

The rest of the day didn't get much better for Kira or Gaara. With how badly she'd been shaking Gaara had told his brother to take her home, deciding he could go a few hours without a guard if that meant giving her some time to process what had happened.

Not that he was getting much work done either. Gaara found himself mostly just staring at the papers in front of him for the rest of the day, thoughts elsewhere. He knew as a leader it wasn't in his best interest to focus on smaller, single person matters, that the village as a whole came first. He couldn't help it though; he couldn't get the pass few hours out of his head. There was no way to really tell if what Shura thought was true or not. The arson might have been random, but the facts they'd found kept him from being able to believe that, and it led him to the same conclusion as the older man.

Someone had threatened Kira.

Gaara couldn't remember the last time he'd felt such an array of emotions in such a small amount of time. It had been horrible to have to watch one of his closest friends suffer like that, and to have to hold her back from doing something stupid... He knew she hadn't been thinking clearly, and he found himself thankful that he knew her so well. Yet, what had come next had been so much worse. He'd been worried and concerned before that due to how he knew Kira would react to being targeted, but once the facts had been laid out...

It was the council meeting all over again, but so much worse, and while he'd been able to keep himself under control, there had been anger in his veins. It had seeped into his bones and nearly choked him. He just didn't understand why it had flared up like that. It was true that he wanted to know who had done something so cruel, but in the back of his head Gaara knew that if it had been someone else's house, it probably wouldn't have caused the same reaction. Watching the pain and fear settle in Kira's eyes was nearly unbearable.

Why?

Signing another paper Gaara looked down at his desk once he'd moved it to the right pile. He tried to work through his emotions piece by piece but it had all melted into one thing or another. Worry. Pain. Anger. The only thing that had kept his head on straight was the other emotion that had overpowered all of the others. He didn't know how to describe it, only that nearly every heartbeat had pounded through him with the need to protect Kira from what had happened. He had wanted her out of that house, safe at home with him watching over her. He wanted, no, _needed_ to keep her safe and that was why in the end he'd dismissed her for the day.

He had needed time to try and pull his head back together, but nearly four hours later and he felt no better. He ran a hand over his hair, frustrated and looked at the clock. It was much later than he had thought; dinner would have been served an hour ago. Not that he was really hungry after what had happened today, and he doubted the cooks food had been touched much at all by anyone else in the household.

His hand moved to his eyes and he rubbed them, the stress of the day dragging him down. Kira had started getting him to sleep at least three times a week now, and it was starting to cause his body to want sleep in a way he hadn't felt since he was a child. Glancing at the stack of papers he grimaced and then pushed back from the desk. He'd finish them later. If he stayed much longer either Kankuro or Kira would come drag him home anyway.

He made his way back to his family's housing, nodding to the few shinobi still at work in the tower. Opening the door into his home he was met with a quiet that seemed unnatural. Stale. Forced.

He remembered months ago when he'd come back home with his sister and seen Kira laugh for the first time, teasing his brother as they watched a movie in the family room. So much had happened since then, it seemed like it should have been years, not months. Stepping around the corner he found the family room empty and dark. It hadn't been used much as of late and suddenly the redhead wished he could go back in time to when it had been. When they'd had that Thursday night every week where they watched movies and Kira had fallen asleep on the couch.

Shaking his head Gaara walked across the room and into the hall, turning into his own room only to find the small desk light was already on. He paused from flicking on the main light, looking around the room before spotting the person who must have turned on the other one.

Kira was in her normal spot, a chair near the foot of his bed. She was slumped over in it, much like a few weeks ago, her chest and head sprawled along the covers, one arm pillowing her face. It looked as if she might have been resting her chin on a raised hand at one point, but having fallen asleep, had come to her current state. She must have been waiting for him to come back. Gaara wondered how long she'd waited and felt a bit guilty for it. He wondered if she had been hoping to talk to him about today, and indeed he had intended to go find her once he'd had a chance to change clothes.

Walking over, he saw she hadn't changed out of her gear from the day, her hair even still tightly up in a pony tail. The smell of smoke clung to her still, masking how she normal smelled which was always much more pleasant. His eyes combed over her face, but he saw no signs of tears or stress, just a blank, calm expression.

At least she was getting some sleep, despite the contortion of her body. How was that comfortable? He thought about waking her up or trying to move her, but hated the thought of disturbing her from the small amount of peace she was getting. She was so unguarded like this, it made her look more breakable. Innocent despite the blood on her hands and tasks she had done, all in service to the village, and to him. She was as loyal as they came, he knew that much and maybe that was why everything that was happening bothered him so much.

Why were people turning against her so suddenly? She'd done nothing wrong. Done nothing that really made her even stand out other than her job, which she did well. It was frustrating, to both of them. That protective sensation in his chest flare up again at the thought, making his jaw clenched. _What was wrong with him?_ He let out a slow breath and moved to stand closer to her, eyeing her hair and knowing she'd have a headache in the morning if it was kept like that. He often wondered why girls thought dressing their hair in such ways was important.

His fingers twitched as he used a hand to reach for the tie in her hair grabbing at one end of the string, pulling gently. It let go easily, and her hair sprawled out like a current around her, the two small braids above each ear engulfed in the now loose strands. His hand lingered, fingers still holding the small tie before he simply dropped it and against his better judgement, as if to appease an itch he need to scratch, dripped his fingers down. Her hair was soft, like birds feathers as he carefully swept it back from her face and out of her eyes. Kira shifted in her sleep at the touch, letting out a sigh and Gaara paused for a moment. He knew the simple gesture felt nice, Kira had done it several times to help him sleep.

Should he stop? Keep going?

He brushed his fingers once more over her scalp before pulling back, unsure of what he was doing or why he was doing it. His heart was nearly beating out of his chest, warmth spreading through his body, fingers tingling. He didn't know what he was doing, but he liked doing it.

"Nnng… Gaara?" Kira's grogging voice broke him from his thoughts and he looked to her face to see one of her eyes open, if a bit sleepily. The redhead swallowed and nodded his head, embarrassed for being caught doing… whatever it was he was doing.

"It's me," he answered quietly and she blinked a bit, her lips turning down slightly in her sleepy haze. She must have been tired to be so out of it. "Are you alright?" he asked, and in response she sighed and pulled herself up from the bed, shaking her head as if to clear it. She ran a hand through her hair like he had, brushing it away from her face as clarity reached her eyes.

"Damn, I didn't mean to fall asleep," she grumbled, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment. She stood, stretching her arms over her head. "Sorry about that, I'll just get out of your way." She didn't move to leave right away, but bent to pick up her hair tie from the ground at a lazy pace. Gaara eyed her for a moment, having taken a step back when she'd stood. Was she stalling?

"Kira," he called her attention to him and she looked over, freezing half way up in her movement. "We should talk about what happened, if you're up for it," he finished, half wanting to say something else, half wanting to tell her she didn't need to say anything. Something was on her mind though, that much was easy to see. She straightened slowly and bit at her lip, eyes shifting away from his again.

"Do you… do you think it was a mistake?" she asked in a whisper, her hand rising and swiping a lock of hair behind an ear. "Making me your guard?"

She said it so plainly, it surprised him, though he had known she might ask that at some point, given what had been happening. He just hadn't thought she'd start with such a question. His heart clenched in his chest at the thought, stifling the warmth that had been there.

His mind drifted to just how much things had changed because she was his guard, or even before that, when she'd protested his lack of one. Kira had without a doubt, opened his eyes to a few things he had never considered. His siblings had better, more fulfilling jobs now and Gaara understood a bit more about his father's motivations from her. She'd been there to reassure him when he couldn't settle his thoughts and had trusted him from the moment they had truly met. Her insight was invaluable and the bond that they had was priceless.

If he had never thought to make her his guard, never pondered the idea at all, would he know her like he did now? They knew each other well enough that words were not always needed to relay their thoughts. Would they be as close, trust each other in the same way? He wasn't sure they would. They'd be friends yes, but not in the same way. Training with her, being so close to her made him feel different. Having her with him made him feel stronger, made his doubts smaller, made him-

His thoughts halted there spinning for a moment, staring at her but hearing something else. Temari's voice seemed to echo in his mind at that moment, recalling her words from before about a discussion he'd taken to heart.

_...They make you stronger..._

_...It's this instant wanting to always be near them and to want to be there for them, protect them…._

_...Your heart aches in a way that you never want it to stop..._

Gaara stopped breathing. Words and thoughts and events clicking together like someone had finally finished a circuit in his head. Kira. He'd wondered if he would ever feel the way his sister had said it felt, but he'd been feeling it all along, hadn't he? It was Kira.

_...Sometimes, I think, love can sneak up on people..._

Was he… was Gaara in love with Kira?

The thought of not having her by his side was almost painful now that she'd asked that question. He never wanted to even think about that. _How had he never seen it?_

"Gaara?" Kira questioned, turning to look at him fully, concerned by how long he was silent. It wasn't a good time to have an epiphany, not when silence would feed her doubt.

"No," he said quickly, surprise flitting across her face at his slightly strangled tone. He swallowed, trying to clear his throat of how tight it felt. "Nothing I have ever done involving you has been a mistake Kira." Except, perhaps not realizing just what he had been doing. _Stupid_. He felt so stupid. She watched as her eyes flickered down again, and the hand she had raised rubbed at her neck before dropping to her side as if it weighed too much.

"It's just starting to feel like I'm losing my place here," she admitted. "After everything I did in order to gain a spot in this village… This is my home but… it seems it is all too easy to erase every trace of that."

Just like how her mother's house had gone up in smoke.

It was that thought that reminded the redhead of an earlier event, not long after Kankuro had ushered her away from the scene. Slipping his hand into his pocket he scooped up the contents inside, feeling the small, flat shapes gather in his palm. Closing his fingers around them, he pulled his hand back out and then held it out in front of him. "Kira?"

The young ANBU looked to him at his beckoning, and when he nodded to his hand, her golden eyes slid to it. After a moment she raised her hand again, moving it palm up under his own to take what he was holding out to her. He opened his fist and the small colorful shards rained down into her hand. He'd taken a few moments to use his sand to file down any sharp edges, if only to make sure she didn't cut herself. Kira blinked and then stared dumbfounded at dozen pieces of stained glass in her hand, no bigger than a thumb print. When she finally spoke, it sounded choked, breathless.

"Where did you..."

"All of the windows broke," Gaara started when she seemed to lose her words. "But the one you had been planning to jump through," his voice sharpened a bit at that, reminding her of her stupid actions. She winced a bit but the redhead continued. "The glass was blown out of the building, thus the smoke and fire didn't have much of a chance to harm it, just the fall." He knew she'd been looking for something that had survived in her mother's room, and when she'd returned empty handed, Gaara had thought of the window. He hadn't said anything because he hadn't been sure. Glancing at the colored fragments, the light in the room making them sparkle he wondered if it was enough. "I thought maybe you could use them in your hobby." He'd seen her use beads and shells before, so he had thought maybe glass would work too. At the time he'd thought it would comfort her and it hadn't been much trouble to do so. Now though, with his new realisation, Gaara wondered if he'd done it simply because he knew Kira had needed it and he wanted to see her happy.

Not because she was just his friend, but because seeing her in pain was unbearable. Because he loved her.

Gaara didn't realise her hand was shaking until he saw something splash into the pile of glass there. Eyes flashing up he was met with the girl he cared more about than he thought possible, crying. He nearly flinched, momentarily wondering if his idea had backfired and made it worse. That was, until her hand closed around the shards and she moved.

It was a lot like what had happened after the war in the hospital room, except this time Kira wasn't hobbling across the room on crutches. Instead she just took the needed step forward and went crashing into him, her free hand digging into the fabric of his vest as she pressed her face into his shoulder.

Just like before the young ruler tensed up, unsure of what had just happened. Still, he could hear her quiet crying with the sound so close to his ear and feel her limbs trembling at the force of it. After a few moments it became clear she wasn't going to say anything, but Gaara came to the conclusion that she wasn't upset with him after all. Rather, perhaps his gift had finally broke the dam she'd been trying to hold back. Ninja weren't supposed to cry, but he'd told her months ago that it was alright too, and now, Gaara was exceedingly glad she had listened.

This time, he didn't need his sister to tell him what to do. His limbs moving almost of their own accord as they wrapped around her back in a loose hug. The hand closest to her head ran fingers through the hair on her back and Gaara took in a deep breath before finally speaking.

"Trust me when I say this, that your place is by my side Kira. That won't ever change."

He just hadn't realised till that moment, the way she stayed by his side might change to something very different.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Smiles devilishly- Please review?


	24. Confession

The one thing Kira had always hated about her ANBU mask was the lack of ventilation. Sure she could breath just fine, there was no problem there, but whoever designed the Leaf styled ninja mask had been more worried about other things. She supposed being able to seeing your full spectrum and making sure it wouldn't fall off were far more important than any discomfort the wearers own breath might cause. But it was there.

It was a personal sauna of hot air that never ended as her breath hit the mask an inch in front of her and was forced back onto her face. Most of the time is didn't bother her, but with how hot it had been lately it only made wearing the damn thing more annoying.

Curse Shura and his stupid veil counting as a mask.

"Everything alright?" Aya's voice was muffled from behind her own ANBU mask, the blond having changed formation slightly to get close enough in order to talk privately. Off hand, Kira wondered if her friend's face was as sweaty as her own. It had been a long time - before the war - since she'd been on a real ANBU mission with her teammates. One could say this wasn't a normal mission, she realized, her eyes darting to the side and slightly behind to catch the shadow of Gaara running beside her. In some ways, it was like her job hadn't changed at all. Team Fukurō had been assigned as the squad to escort the Kazekage across the land to the Hidden Leaf. After talking it over with Kankurō and Kira, it had seemed best to send more than just Kira along with the redhead due to the situation at hand.

Kira remembered talking with Gaara about the events the day of the fire and how it had been decided to send some ninja out to look into it. There were weird happenings near the border of the two nations. It had started with random village raids in the area that had occurred in the last month or two. Nothing extremely valuable had been taken, mostly food and normal everyday supplies. Except those ninja had been gone over a week now when it should have only been a few days at most. It wasn't too uncommon for ninja to not check in during undercover or investigation missions due to the fact that they had to not look suspicious. Gaara had said to give them a few more days, and they would have, if not for the fact that later that same day they'd received a letter flown in by hawk from the Leaf, or more precisely, from Kakashi, the current Hokage.

The letter had detailed that a ninja squad had been returning from a mission and had stumbled upon human remains near the border. After investigating the corpses, they had come to the conclusion that a fight had broken out and that the deceased were Suna ninja three days expired. Descriptions and names from the belongings had matched up with the squad that had been sent out to investigate the raids. They were dead and they'd been laid out where someone would find them.

They were a message, and with the incidents so close to the border it had been agreed that the two Kages needed to consult on the matter at hand before proceeding. If all went as planned, Gaara would stay in Konoha to discuss further trade agreements with Kakashi, while team Fukurō went to deal with the problem. Kira had no doubt that they could handle whatever was going on. The last group had been newer, unseasoned ninja and the rank of the mission had only been C. Now that mission had been changed to S rank given the deaths and ANBU were trained for high-risk missions.

Still, something about all of this still bothered Kira, but the shadow user couldn't put her finger on it. Maybe it was just the normal anxiety of being out on a mission again after playing guard for so long within the walls of Suna.

Looking back to her friend Kira gave a slight nod of her head. "Something about all of this just seems weird, like we're missing something." It was weird, having to try and figure out missing pieces to a mission again, another thing she'd been getting rusty at. Funny, how fast those skills dull.

Aya nodded in return, understanding and then looked forward again. They were running in a normal formation, the two girls in front of their village leader and Shura bringing up the rear. They'd been on the move for nearly a day and a half and the sun was beginning to dip into the horizon ahead of them on their second day. Trees and rocky dirt had replaced sand a half hour before, but they wouldn't be crossing the border for another two hours.

The area around them was considered a no man's land as even though they hadn't crossed the border they were about half way between villages. Kira knew from years of studying maps that there was a small village about an hour to the east of them and if their mission wasn't so critical they might have been detouring to an Inn there for the night. As it was, that wasn't the case, one Kira mourned silently. She'd love to sit down and take off her brace for a bit, the damn thing collected sweat better than her mask did.

"Halt," Gaara's voice rang through an hour later and like horses being reined in, the ANBU team did just that, all of them turning to look at their leader. Kira tilted her head curiously at the sudden change but Gaara didn't give much away with his plainly calm expression. "We made better time then expected. We should stop for the night, once we get over the border we could run into trouble." That was true, with little to no resistance and the Land of Wind calmer than normal; they'd made a lot of headway. He looked to Kira's teammates. "Make a perimeter and scan the area for threats, we'll get camp set up."

It wasn't what the plan had been before but when the Kazekage spoke, people obeyed. After only a quick glance at each other, Aya and Shura flickered away leaving the shadow user with her friend and boss. Kira shifted on her feet for a moment, raising a brow that went unseen behind her mask. She couldn't blame Gaara for being cautious, but something about this seemed different. She watched him run a hand through his hair after a moment, something he only did when he was agitated or worried.

Things had been tense the last few days, but it was a kind of tension Kira wasn't used to, one she didn't like. It was almost like a thin wall had been placed between Gaara and herself, barely there but still noticeable. Like a random itch that showed up when you were concentrating on something.

They hadn't had a lot of time to talk since the fire and the night she'd fallen asleep in his quarters. She'd lost track of how long he'd held her and it had been like ripping off her own skin when she'd finally pulled away. He meant everything to her and what he'd done that night had only made it more apparent to herself.

She wandered off hand if maybe he'd figured it out too, if maybe that was why the filmy wall had come up. He'd figured it out and now didn't know how to deal with it. Didn't want to reject her outright.

She wasn't sure he even knew how to reject a girl…

"Kira?" His voice, as normal, snapped her from her thoughts instantly and she blinked, turning her eyes from the random spot on the ground she'd been staring at. Gaara had removed his pack and his gourd and now stood with his arms crossed in that kind of-sort of relaxed stance of his.

"Hm?"

"Are you alright?" he questioned and it took Kira a moment to realize why he was asking. Her stance had shifted, moving most of her weight to her right leg and off the newly recovered one. Oh. She blinked and quickly evened her weight back out. She hadn't even noticed, hadn't done it out of pain, more out of habit.

"Yeah. I guess I'm just use to certain stances these days." Odd, how quickly one's habits changed due to injury. Gaara's eyes lingered on her leg for a moment and she sighed. "I'm perfectly fine, it doesn't hurt at all. I promise." She felt like she was repeating herself. Gaara had spoken with her in length about whether or not she'd be alright for a mission like this. Even after reports saying that she was fully healed he'd seen her limp, seen her favoring her leg like just now. He hadn't like it much when she'd pointed out that the medical ninja had said she's probably always have a limp, if not some nerve pain.

She was fine, just different. A different neither of them liked.

Finally, the sand ninja nodded his head and turned his gaze, leaving Kira to unpack for the night. She set her back near one of the few trees and then bent down, pulling out rations. After a few moments of silence she figured she should ask something that bothered her.

"Hey Gaara?" She called, titling her head to look to the redhead who glanced at her. "Why… you never use my ANBU codename when it's just the two of us," she explained. It was a rather large breach in protocol, even if it was just the two of them. They were out in the field. Anyone could be listening. She could only guess he used it – and he didn't use it much – with the others to not show favoritism. "You could be putting things at risk you know…"

He gave a small nod, considering her question and when an answer didn't come within a few moments, Kira turned back to unpacking. Once she was set up she could take the brace off for a few minutes and relax.

"I suppose it's because I don't like the name," Gaara answered finally, and Kira felt a small shock run through her at the words and looking over to him again, her hands in mid-motion to close her bag back up. Gaara met her eyes with those stormy sea green ones of his and she was caught. Again. "You were given the name Kyote by my father and your trainer along with that mask. We both know neither of them were giving it to you as an honor." He paused for a moment as if to try and find the right words, then he shook his head slightly and continued. "It doesn't suit you."

Didn't suit her?

The name Kyote referred to the sand scavenger canines that are seen in packs around the Land of Wind. It had been a cruel, backhanded honor, singling her out as an outsider left to pick at the scraps left by others. It had been a name hung on her mask and her ANBU title, as she didn't have one like Shura did. In a way, Kira had been thankful of the allies; it was a way to separate herself from what she did with the mask on, leaving the person under it detached from the actions, even if she knew that really wasn't how it worked. Kira had told Gaara once that she should hate the mask, but that she didn't because of that separation.

She never really thought about whether it suited her. Not as Kira. It had been a hateful nickname from Korin yes, but she'd never seen it as her own because the people she cared about didn't call her that when her mask was off. Did it suit her? Gaara apparently didn't think so. It wasn't her name, so how could it?

"Well, it's not really my name," she pointed out after a few moment, latching her bag shut and moving to stand back up. She'd need to gather some wood for a fire, but she wanted to finish this conversation first. "It's just a call sign. Honestly, it could be anything. It doesn't need to suit me." It was the best answer she could come up with. She'd ponder the question at a later date.

Gaara was still looking at her carefully but seemed to relent slightly and so she started walking around the area looking for stray branches while keeping an eye on him at all times. Where wasn't that much to pick up and she thought about radioing her teammates to see if they could gather some on the way back.

"What will you do, when you find out the name you were born with?" His voice makes her pause where she's reaching for the com in her ear, and she stops walking, looking to him again, a frown on her hidden face. What was he talking about? The name she was born with was… Oh. He was talking about the family and the life she couldn't remember. The one Shikamaru was helping her find. It made sense that she'd have a different name, wouldn't it? After all the name 'Kira' had been give to her by her adoptive father when she'd come to the village at age five. She'd have had a different name before then.

One she couldn't remember.

One that might be given back to her.

Kira bit her lip. What would she do with it?

"I'm not sure," she admitted, starting to make her way over to the redhead slowly. She paused halfway to deposit the few branches she had into an area good for the fire. Carefully, she nudged at a branch as if to get it in the right spot with her foot. "I think it would be nice to know, to finally solve that mystery but I don't think I could ever use it." She heard him shift towards her, but not really move and Kira kept her eyes on the wood, unable to get herself to complete her intended journey.

"Why?" His question didn't surprise her, not really, and she found herself smiling ever so slightly.

"If you found out your name wasn't really 'Gaara', would you change it?" she inquired, waiting a few moments but got no answer. She hadn't expected one; it wasn't an easy question to answer. "Even if my real parents didn't name me 'Kira', it's the name that has been mine for too long to just give up. It's what everyone I care about calls me, its the name the people who raised me gave me. To turn my back on that… it would be like saying I hadn't loved them. Saying it meant nothing when it meant the world." For a child that couldn't remember anything, didn't know who she was or what she liked, having a name was like being given an island in the middle of the sea. Finally, Kira looked up at Gaara and slowly pulled her mask off. It seemed silly to keep it on when he was using her name. "Why do you ask? Not fond of that name either?" She meant it as a tease but the young ruler looked startled and furrowed his pale brows.

"No," he stated evenly, eyes locking with hers instantly and it was that feeling again as of late that hit her. Of not wanting to look away, so different from what it was normally. "Truthfully, I don't think any name could ever fit you better."

Heat rushed across her face and Kira wished she'd left her mask on, but the fingers holding it at her side were tingling and unresponsive. He liked her name. Such a simple thing, but it meant a lot, at least to her. Still, it was interesting that he'd bring all this up.

"Why'd you ask?" she voiced, raising a brow and it was Gaara who broke their shared gaze this time, not her. He seemed worried, a thumb and forefinger rubbing at the fabric of his other sleeve from where his arms were crossed. He gazed off into the direction they were heading, past her.

"I just thought, that if you found out you still had family, maybe you would change things," he explained. "You've never known where you came from, it would make sense if you would want to see it." He was worried she'd leave Suna. He didn't have to say it, Kira knew him well enough to read between the lines of his words. She reached up and pulled at some of her hair that was drifting over her shoulder. She could see why he thought that, with what had been going on. The fire, the rumors, the whispers behind her back. Some people had turned on her and someone didn't want her there.

"It would be interesting to see," she agreed and saw him stiffen just slightly. "But my home is Suna, Gaara, even with everything that's been going on…It's everything I know. I couldn't just leave it behind like that." She wouldn't just leave him. Finally finding her feet again, Kira made the rest of the trek over to him and stood beside him, hands behind her back. "You told me the night of the fire that I'd always have a place beside you," she reminded him. "It meant a lot to me, to hear that…do you really think I'd disregard it so easily?"

"I know you feel obligated, and we are friends," he pointed out and she frowned, looking over to him, slightly annoyed. Duty. Kira did take her job seriously, but she had a feeling Gaara thought she was beyond committed to it. Maybe that's what it seemed like, given how she felt about him. It was painful, to have him thing that. It clawed at her like an animal on the inside, pleading to be let out. Her fingers twitched and her mask fell to the ground.

"Even if I wasn't you're guard, I'd stand by your side Gaara," she stated, somehow not wavering at all, as if that clawing sensation gave her strength. Maybe cause it was the truth, a truth she'd tried so hard to keep hidden. Nothing should be kept hidden forever. She felt his eyes on her, but she'd looked forward again, hands clenching together behind her. "Even if I wasn't a ninja I would."

"Because we are friends?" A true enough reason, but one that burned her, because it wasn't what she wanted. Kankurō had asked her once what she wanted, and she pushed those thoughts down in favor of what Gaara needed. The puppet master was right, she let her own wants go left to die too often, but the clawing truth was something that refused to die. She felt a small smile replace her frown.

"Yes but… Most people aren't like Naruto," she mused, lips twitching at the thought of more people like that reckless blond.

"You speak of his reckless determination to follow what he believes in?" He waits and Kira nods her head. "It's true that he has made a lot of choice that are not wise, and I agree that you aren't like him. I don't believe we could rely on each other as we do if you were. It is a bond we have that not many do." He was confused and Kira couldn't blame him. A small part of her screamed at her to just come up with a simple reason, to explain this differently, but now that she'd started all of those worries and reasons for not saying it seemed small. Small because the words 'just friends' were a lie and Kira hated lying.

"We do," she agreed with a nod and met his eyes once more. "We are friends, but I…for me there is more than that, something hard to explain but more important than anything. For me there's nothing in this world that could make me want to leave your side." It had never been harder to speak what she wanted to, not in her whole life, it made her feel like she was trembling with the force of the words that she couldn't get out. "It's what makes me want to see you happy, despite my own feelings, and what makes me jump in front of you, even when I know you'd be fine." So she did what she could, knowing Gaara wasn't stupid and leaving him to decide on how it should go.

The world seemed very still then, and Gaara was even stiller, his unblinking gaze locked on hers and she found herself immobile as well. She'd said it. Not those exact words, not really, but she'd said enough…hadn't she? Now she'd have to deal with whatever came next and that alone made her worry more than each passing second of silence that loomed around them.

If nothing else, please let them stay friends.

Gaara swallowed visibly after a time, after a long enough period had passed that her hands were hurting from being clench so tight. His lips twitched and he opened them to speak and she couldn't breath.

"Kira…"

Static bounced off the walls of her left ear in a sudden, sharp burst and Kira winced along with the redhead, his words cut short in an instant. She'd nearly forgotten about the coms set she was wearing. "This is Jade, Kyote, Kaze, come in," Aya's voice crackled through the connection, something loud crashing in the background. That really didn't sound good and a glance at Gaara told Kira he agreed, a hand pressed to his ear. Her hand flew up to her ear bud in seconds, clicking in the small button farther down the wire to open the channel.

"This is Kyote, we read you Jade. What's your status?" As if in answer, another loud crackle of static filters through and to match it Kira heard a low boom from outside the mic. She whipped around in an instant, hand going for her weapons as she spied a plume of airborne dust rising from the trees ahead. It was pretty clear even without the verbal answer that they weren't alone in the area. Opening the channel again, worry over took her thoughts. "Jade? Eyes? Do you copy?"

More static answered her but after a few seconds Aya's voice came back over the line, choppy and broken. "Ca-'t… Sur-und-d. Be C-reful-" The sound cut off, even the static went silent and Kira felt herself stiffen at that, still eyeing the slowly dissipating cloud of dust. They'd either gone out of range or something had broken the communication line. She clicked the button again anyway.

"Jade? Jade please respond!" Nothing, not even a whisper or crackle. Kira cursed and picked back up her mask, turning to Gaara. He was frowning, worried and alarmed, but calm, always calm. "What should we do? We need to help them." Was it possible the people who had killed the Suna ninja from before had expanded their reach already?

Gaara nodded his head, picking back up his gourd and turning back to her. "Yes, it appears they may need our help." Him saying that only made Kira worry more. Her teammates weren't pushovers; they were ANBU. If they were in trouble…

Pulling her mask back on, they left their bags where they laid, not wanting anything extra slowing them down. They both kicked into a run towards the dust still billowing in the sky, the sun nearly red behind it. The closer they got, the louder the sounds of battle became and Kira wondered how far out her friends were fighting. Had the enemy driven them back in order to separate the team? It was a rather common but effective plan.

Something about the air changed as they passed into a line of trees. It was stifling, hot but not like the heat back in Suna. She blinked against the bright light that was the sun, blood red and sinking within the horizon line.

Then she realized they were headed north.

Shock and fear hit her square in the chest as she realized that wasn't the sun at all. "Look out!" she snapped looking to her side where the redhead ran next to her. Gaara seemed to realize the same things she did in those few seconds. Reflexively Kira acted, stopping her forward momentum and throwing herself to the side as Gaara did. She crashed into him seconds later as something grabbed at her middle and shoved her to him just as the bright red light became a fireball in her vision. It was bigger than she was use to seeing and nearly as red as Gaara's hair.

They weren't far enough from it. Yet they were still falling through the air and as helpless as a baby bird. Kira heard herself scream in that realization and dimly heard Gaara grunt.

Sand covered them. One second Kira had been staring at fire, the next her vision was blocked, then taken as she was enveloped in a barrier of sand and sudden darkness. The fireball struck them broadside, accelerating their fall to the ground and heating up the sand instantly. Kira was reminded of her burning house then, of the heat left in the remains of it even after the flames were out. They hit the earth, the sand under them breaking apart with the force, knocking the wind from both of them, the slightly distant sound of the flames hitting the earth as well, echoing in her ringing ears. Kira forced herself not to inhale too quick or else get a breath full of sand.

It was all over in a matter of moments and Kira could hear her heart beating frantically, nearly over taking her breathing. It was still dark around her, Gaara's sand shield having remain up around them, protecting them. She didn't need her eyes to know she was half laying on top of Gaara. They'd crashed into each other after all and she could feel the rise and fall of his chest on her arms and head. Any other time she would have turned scarlet at such a position but those thoughts were far off now, her mind working on facts and strategy rather that emotion. He must have used his sand to pull her close in order to shield them both in time.

"You alright?" she whispered, unsure of how long they could stay like this. The enemy couldn't be far behind that attack. Something moved across her upper back, a hand she realized, when it curled around her shoulder. He was silently checking for wounds she might not openly tell him about and Kira found herself frowning at that.

"I'm fine," he answered after a moment. "Are you?"

"Yeah," she breathed out, shaking her head slightly. "Your shield was up just in time." Any slower and Kira could have easily been burned. "I'm really starting to hate fire..."

Her comment got a soft, breathless sound that might have been a hum of agreement from him and after a moment he sat up, forcing her to sit back on her legs. She heard him shift, his hand leaving her shoulder and Kira realized he was about to drop the sand. She pushed herself into a crouch and slipped her weapons from their holster.

The sand dropped around them in a small circle and Kira blinked against the light. She was indeed right next to Gaara, close enough that their shoulders were nearly touching, torsos facing each other. Kira glanced behind them first, over Gaara's shoulder, and gaped at the smoking blackened earth where the fireball had hit. It was large enough, that a direct hit would have easily smothered either of them. A few small twigs from what must have been a brush still held tiny flames on them and indeed they were blood red.

The scuffle of footsteps behind her and Gaara stiffening had her turning around. She might have been facing where they'd come from, but he'd been looking at where danger had come, and now it was here. She turned half way, eyeing the single ninja wearily. He wasn't wearing a shirt which left the rippling muscles under pull tight tan skin easy to see. His hair was long and pitch black, held back in a wrapped tail and pulled tight on his scalp. The most startling feature was the twin painted slashes that ran through both eyes - one over each - in a slightly tilted angle that drew an invisible line to where they might have met at his hairline if they hadn't stop and inch over his eyebrows. They were as thick as two fingers and dark red, just like the fire he had through.

"Well now, I have to say that was some quick thinking there Kazekage," he mused, his voice oddly boisterous and smooth despite the severe look to him. He stopped a good two yards from them, arms hanging loosely at his sides. Kira saw no visible weapons, or head band - slashed through it or not - though such an attack screamed ninja. "I had heard your defenses were nearly perfect, but I hadn't expected you to save her too. Aren't ANBU supposed to be able to take care of themselves?" he purred and Kira stiffened, having nearly forgotten she was wearing her mask. Maybe she hadn't needed to worry about swallowing sand. "Though, I had been told you were quite the pair, so I shouldn't be surprised."

Gaara, who was crouched in much the same position as her, though facing the enemy completely, didn't take the bait he threw at them. Instead he simply held the fire user's gaze with experienced, calm eyes. "Who are you?" he asked smoothly and Kira could hear the smallest of rustling from the grains of sand around them as they moved. The man actually seemed to think about than answer, a smirk playing at the edges of his lips.

"Oh, no one you've heard of, but you can call me Mu if that makes you feel better." His eyes shifted from Gaara to Kira and hummed. "I was really hoping to catch you off guard and finish this quickly. That little blond my siblings are playing with was interesting."

Aya. He was talking about Aya. Kira's hand tightened around the grips of her tonfas. Slowly, Kira moved to her feet, standing to her full height and taking a small step forward. She needed to get to her friend and help her. Mu hadn't mentioned Shura, so there was no way of know what was going on there, not until she got there. She glanced to Gaara who had followed her lead, standing and crossing his arms like always. A small spiral of sand trickled out from the gourd's opening, swirling around him in an almost loving fashion.

"Oh well," Mu mused out and then took another step forward. Sand met him first, shooting out from the ground in second and crashing over him. The fire user jumped backwards, forced to dodge as wave after wave of crushing sand chased him back. A diversion, of that Kira was sure and so kept her eyes of him as she spoke.

"Plan?" They could probably easily take him together, they'd been training to work as a unit and maybe it was time they did just that. Gaara shifted on his feet slightly, but appeared to have other ideas.

"Go find your team," he ordered evenly, causing her to nearly flinch. She wasn't used to direct orders like that from him. "If his siblings are as strong as him, they might need your help. We don't know what odds they are facing." True, siblings could mean two people or four or more and while her team was strong, they weren't specialized in head on fighting like other ANBU teams. Kira was their most offensive member with Shura and then Aya after that. Still, she wasn't too keen on his plan.

"What about you?" were of course, the first words out of her mouth despite that order, along with her eyes flickering to his face. He didn't look at her, concentrating on keeping the man busy for these few moments. How could she just leave him here when she was his guard? "Gaara-"

"I'll be fine," he cut in, stopping her protest before it could get started. "A one on one fight is even odds." For a moment he did shift his eyes to her, face passive but eyes endless. "I need you to trust me and go help your team."

"I do trust you," she whispered, nearly hurt by the accusation, but knowing he was right. She needed to think about the others, not just him, just liked he'd said before. She was too narrow minded when it came to him. Aya was in trouble, as was Shura. It was her best friend and the only father figure she'd ever really had or the boy she loved? Kira swallowed against a dry throat.

Loved.

She'd told him she was in love– well not exactly but close enough – with him no more than ten minutes ago, yet, is felt impossibly far away. She wondered if it would ever be brought up again. Something in her chest ached at the thought of it being ignored and the fact that she'd probably go along with it if that's what he chose to do. Forcefully, Kira stopped her train of thought and shook her head before it got any farther. This wasn't the time or the place to think about that.

Think about it when people aren't in danger.

"Alright," she conceded quietly and inched her footing towards his shadow. Once her left foot was touching it she took in a deep breath. "Be careful." Her voice came out softer than she intended it to be, laced with the worry she tried to beat back. He didn't look at her, but she saw a muscle in his jaw flutter for a moment.

"You too." They were the words that made sense, but they weren't the ones Kira wanted. _Don't be foolish_ , she told herself, though she knew it was in vain.

She took one more step backwards and let the shadows pull her into their world.

…

He'd been in the middle of his battle with Mu when seemingly out of nowhere, help had arrived in the form of Team Guy. The fire user had been more challenging than Gaara had first thought, the man's flames burning so hot it turned his sand to glass. He hadn't been in trouble but having Mu kicked soundly in the face by Lee wasn't something the young ruler was going to turn down. A very quick conversation had occurred while the enemy collected himself, stating that the Leaf ninja had been on their way back from a mission when they'd felt the battles taking places. Information had been swapped then Guy had ordered Tenten and Lee onward to help out Team Fukurō. Mu hadn't stood a chance with the elder taijutsu user's help, though he had put up a fight. The man was dead now, left in the burn, upturned battlefield while his opponents headed for his siblings.

They were getting closer to the next battlefield, close enough that Gaara had seen two different strikes of lightning attacks in the last three minutes. Blood red lightning. Well, if the attackers were related, then maybe it made sense.

"It appears my students have yet to put an end to their fight," Guy mused from beside him. For once the green ninja wasn't smiling, his face solum with worry. "Just how many are there?"

"I'm not sure," was Gaara's reply and he himself felt the curl of worry in his chest.

"Have any idea who they are?" Guy asked. "I have never seen chakra that is lit red like that before."

Neither had Gaara.

"It's a mystery that will have to wait for another time," the redhead stated. The last thing he wanted to do was get into a debate when his friends - when Kira - were likely in danger.

Kira. What she'd said before the attack-no. He couldn't think about that right now. If he did he wouldn't be able to keep his head where it needed to be.

"Roger that," Guy relented with a nod, apparently knowing when not to push someone who was more than likely distressed. And Gaara was, even if he tried to keep his face blank. His hand was gripping at the complexly weaved strap in red and gold across his chest. Gold, just like her eyes, yet two of those twine strands had suddenly snapped during his battle and since then dread had chewed at his insides.

It felt like Gaara's legs were made out of lead, he couldn't run fast enough through the last few trees - one of which was snapped in half, insides still smoking and charred splinters dusting the ground - fast enough. When they finally did, they were met with a open area littered with too many figures on the ground.

The first thing that drew Gaara's eyes were the moving figures. Tenten and Lee were fight two female ninja, one of which had red lightning coursing down a double bladed spear. The other was throwing water at them, water that's tinted so red at first it looked like blood. From what he could see of the battle it appeared to be an even fight but Guy looked ready to interfere and Gaara knew this needed to end now before anyone else was hurt. He didn't let himself look for the members of Team Fukurō, didn't let his mind recognize anyone on the ground. He only noted that there are four others, only one of which was kneeling near another while the other two lay still. He focused his eyes and nodded to Guy who sprinted into action surprising the water user fighting Lee with a downward kick to the shoulder that sent them crashing to the ground.

Gaara's sand lashed out at the lightening user as Tenten managed to smash the end of her weapon into the woman's face knocking her off balance. She didn't even get a chance to stumble as sand crashed into her and pushed her back against a nearby tree, pinning her there.

Only when she was trapped did he realise the she looks a great deal like Mu, from the tightly pulled back hair, cornrows on her scalp, to the bright red marking slashed over her eyes. She screamed in anger, lightening crawling over the sand briefly before shorting out due to it being a poor conductor.

"God damn you! What the hell did you do to my brother!" she shouted from across the way as Tenten gave the redhead a grateful look. He ignored the nameless ninja and nodded to the weapon user, turning his gaze to the other fight. It was all but done, not that he expected much else. The other woman was laying on the ground her left arm twisted at an odd angle and her eyes shut. Lee was straddling her back and pulled both arms behind her limp form to bind them as Guy watches over him. He noted after a quick glance over the unconscious woman, that she's identical in appearance to the one pinned to the tree.

"Kira!" Tenten's voice had him turning his gaze, following her as she bolted across the battlegrounds to where two of the figures are. With the threats out of the way he finally lets himself put names to faces and realises the two close together are Aya and Kira, the former being the one kneeling over the latter. It takes him another moment to realise Aya is pressing a hand to Kira's left leg and that blood is pooling around the girls, his ears finally picking up on and paining sounds coming from the shadow user now that the battle sounds have faded. He followed the weapon master over, arms dropping from their crossed position as her nears them.

His blood froze in his veins.

The sounds he had been hearing were actually sobs and something close to a scream but they sounded off, muffled do to the fact that her mask was still in place. It was the kind of sounds someone made while in agony yet were still trying to stay quiet, a choking, gasping half scream that was tormenting to listen to. Her entire form was tense, hand white knuckled into grass as Aya pressed her hand firmly over her knee trying to stem the flow of blood. They'd injured her damaged leg. Badly. The remains of her metal brace laid near by, blacked and bloody, and third degree electrical burns covered the vicinity of where the brace had been, covering her knee and several inches up and down with bleeding chard and blistering skin. She has other less substantial wounds, a large cut on to her right forearm and bruising all up and down it along with torn up knuckles on her hands. They seem unimportant in comparison to her leg.

Aya noticed him arrive first and looked relieved and devastated at the same time. Her mask was gone as are the ties that held up her long blond hair. Half of the locks are stained red, blood flowing down the side of her face and neck. Her right arm was slack at her side, the shoulder limp and clearly dislocated. Tears are in her blue eyes and her jaw is clenched as she used her one usable hand to press down on Kira's leg, trying to keep it still as it twitched and jerked, the shadow user too delirious to realise she shouldn't be moving it.

"Oh thank the Gods," Aya breathed as the two remaining ninja come over. "Quickly, I need someone to help me get my shoulder into place. I can't help her with one hand," she demanded, apparently not caring that her leader was right there, too concerned about her friend. Guy gave a sharp nod at that, walking over to the blond's side.

"Not a problem, I'll get you back in working order," he assured her, laying a hand on her arm and back. He then looks to his two younger teammates. "You two go over to their leader and start trying to get him out from under that tree. I'll join you shortly." They both looked to Gaara then to Guy and nodded their heads, doing as they're told even as they cast worried glances at Kira. Gaara followed them briefly with his eyes, confused as to who he was talking about but then sees Shura laying still as stone across the way, a thick trunk over his lower body. He appeared unhurt for the most part but he was certainly out cold. "Lord Gaara," Guy says, drawing his attention back. The man has a thick eyebrow raised slightly, but the humor is still gone from his face. "You're going to need to keep that leg straight while she works."

Right.

The sand user didn't hesitate, reaching out with his hands knowing his sand will only crumble do to all the blood. He replaces Aya's hand above the knee and then put his other inches below where the burns end and braces it down. His hands are wet with warm blood instantly and once again he's stuck staring at the wound like he can't believe its real. With Aya's hand gone, Gaara can see where most of the blood is coming from. Kira's knee looks wrong, concave somehow and there's a large deep slice across it that's edged in blackened skin. He finds himself willed back the urge to gag, mind racing and trying to piece together how this could have happened. Passively he heards Guy tell Aya to hold still and then counts down from three. There's a crack and Aya hissed in pain but then let's out a haggard 'thanks'. Throughout all of it Gaara is trying to ignore how Kira is screaming and whimpering, her leg trying to twist out of his hold with more strength then he thought she'd have while the other was half bend, the heel of her shoe wedged into the dirt.

He felt like he couldn't get enough air into his lungs, like he's slowly suffocating with how tightly constricted his ribcage felt. There was a quiet buzzing, a ringing that sounds oddly like Kira's sounds of pain. Her scream. Agony. Kira was in agony and he was the one who'd ordered her to this battle.

"Sealing Art: Pain Seal!" Aya's voice cut through his mind and he looked up in time to see her hands together, two fingers pointed up and touching a sealing tag in her hand. It's glowing blue and then she quickly slapped it down onto Kira's injured leg above Gaara's hand that rest near her knee. The tag pulses and then black lines of script fan out around it, encircling the whole of her leg.

Once the seal was in place, Kira's clenched limbs quickly loosen and then went slack, muscles still twitching from leftover adrenaline and pain. A gasp spilled out before she goes quiet except for her harsh breathing that echos off the inside of her mask. A small amount of his own tension fell away at that and he carefully removed his hands, perfect outlines of them left behind in blood.

Behind him he could hear Rock Lee and Guy - he hadn't even realised the old man had left - working on the tree as they grunted and shouted encouragement at each other, the sound of Tenten's exasperated voice cutting in once in awhile. Hopefully Shura wasn't too badly hurt but even if that were true he'd still need medical attention. He wouldn't be the only one. Kira's leg wound was still bleeding badly, though he knew that would decrease soon as Aya held another sealing tag and was forming hand signs quickly, her breathing become more heavy as the seconds past.

"Gaara?" The voice is quiet and rough, a shredded version of itself due to screaming but he still recognized it at Kira's. He looked up to her face from where he crouched. He couldn't see her expression, but the mask still left enough movement for her to have tilted her head slightly to look at him. The hand closest to him twitched and lifted just slightly for a few seconds before dropping again. The redhead was stunned; he would have thought she'd have passed out as soon as her body was relieved of some of the pain, but it was clear she was still at least lucid. He should move, answer her, do something but he couldn't seem to get anything to work right.

"Sealing Art: Clotting Seal." Aya's voice seemed to jump start him again as the blond placed the tag directly over the bleeding wound. Quickly the paper turned red with blood and then clear, a blue glow edging it as it sunk into the skin around it creating a web of chakra designed to stop blood flow. The blond sagged and fell onto her butt, breathing hard, sweat running down her face along with the blood. She was near her limit and needed medical attention too, but he knew she wouldn't stop till her entire team was stable. Gaara took that time to finally move up towards Kira's head and knelt there, placing his hand over the top of her twitching one. It was cold as ice and that worried him.

"It's me," he answered, glancing to the side at the blond but Aya doesn't seem to be listening. In fact she'd turned from them and was digging through her pack. She knew then and he nearly smiled at that. Returning his attention to Kira he let his finger curl slightly over her hand. "Everything will be fine now."

A few ragged breaths pass before she speaks again, finger twitching again even in his hold. "Can you take off this mask?" she asked quietly and Gaara realised just how uncomfortable she had to be with it on. Nodding slightly he reached up and grabbed the bottom part, slipping it off her head and setting it to the side. Her eyes were closed and her skin was pale and streaked with sweat and what might have been tears. "Thanks," she whispered, eyes cracking open to look at him. "Sorry, I guess things didn't go as planned..." She appeared dazed as she spoke, her words dragging from her like someone who was drunk. Without the pain, the lack of chakra and blood loss was taking its toll quickly. Gaara shook his head slightly, ignoring the crashing sound behind him of the tree being moved and then dropped to the ground quickly.

"You don't need to talk right now," he assured her, knowing it was probably taking everything she had to just do that at this point. She looked at him through her half lidded eyes, the golden color washed out like fog over the sun. "You'll be fine," he repeated, if only because he couldn't think of anything else to say.

Aya chose then to make herself known again, appearing on the other side of Kira with bandages and quietly wrapping the cut on the arm near her. She looked haggard, but from what he could tell she used her own jutsu to stop the bleeding on her head wound. All of this was hard to swallow, as team Fukurō shouldn't have been taken down like this. Now that Kira wasn't screaming and the danger had passed around them, Gaara made his questions known.

"What happened?" his words are flatter than he meant them to be, but all of the anxiety he'd been having has come to a point in his mind. Aya just nodded her head, expecting the question and maybe even the tone.

"Shura and I were attacked by five ninja, all of which had strangely powerful jutsu. One of the men broke off early in the fight to go ahead after you and Kira." She was talked about Mu then. He waited quietly for her to continue, his eyes going back to Kira's only to find them closed again, her mouth still cracked open to breath. "Kira showed up a few minutes later and that made it three against four. We thought we'd be fine but the water user had a hidden mist jutsu and they seemed to realize Shura would be the biggest problem. Three of them went after him at once and then at some point he ended up where he is. Even when Kira summoned her Familiars we became overwhelmed quickly, each of us fighting off two at once. We both took down one each at some point and I'm not sure what happened on her end. All I know is at some point the lightening user realized Kira had a leg brace and then started deliberately going after it. I heard her scream and that gave them enough of an opening that the water user knocked me into a daze. Next thing I knew Tenten and Lee had shown up."

Details were missing but Gaara had enough information to figure out what had happened. This group of ninja had known far too much about Kira's team and had known how to pick them apart quickly. This hadn't been a random run in, this had been planned. Glancing at Kira's knee again Gaara felt a sharp jolt of anger claw through him, much stronger than when he'd seen flames take Kira's home. Exploiting weaknesses were part of getting the upper hand in a fight but Kira had hardly any other wounds. It hadn't been about winning it had been about torture. Surely at some point Kira had been unable to fight but her leg showed signs of brutality beyond that.

_Nothing in this world that could make me want to leave your side._

Her words were still clear as day in his mind and while he pushed them away during the fight he found them back at the forefront of his thoughts now. Gaara'd been so startled, so shocked that he hadn't been able to even think about how to respond to her admission. She hadn't said the words exactly, but what she had said was enough to give him the clues to put it together. Her words had been close to what his sister had said and what he had realized the night of the fire. She was in love with him; it seemed too foolishly easy to tell now that he'd figure it out. Easy, yet hard to know the truth, to know she felt that way and not being able to fight past the shock and the joy and the fear of what those words meant because everything had turned on its head.

Because he loved her too.

It was something he'd had little time to really let sink in since the truth had hit him like a brick days ago. He hadn't known what to do with the information and had hoped to speak to Temari about it. He hadn't thought it possible she'd ever feel the same way, and yet, that's exactly what had happened. If he'd been given time then maybe he could have responded, but that hadn't been the case. Instead he'd sent her here, to this battle and these rogue ninja had done this to her. He didn't know who to blame more, himself or them, but the anger clawing at his insides only seemed to climb further up and out.

How dare they do this to her.

A sudden scream had him looking up and Aya flinching. The women pinned to the tree was struggling again, gasping for air. After a moment a part of the sand grew darker with blood and Gaara reeled slightly, realizing he'd willed the sand towards Sand Coffin without even realizing it. His hand twitched and the sand softened slightly again, leaving her to pant and choke in pain.

Aya met his gaze and he saw shock but also approval, not horror. The other's hadn't seemed to notice, but Gaara couldn't find it in him to care. He wasn't sorry, not one bit, if anything he was confused and maybe a bit startled by the suddenly anger and then it's effect on his sand right after appearing. He wasn't use to his emotions being in control of him like this.

Finished with Kira's arm Aya stood up and wobbled slightly before silently moving towards the Leaf ninja and her recently uncovered team leader. She wasn't a healer, but Aya was the closest thing on hand they had and she could at least figure out if he would be okay.

Gaara let his attention go back to his friend, to the girl he loved, using his free hand to slowly reach out and touch her hair. He wasn't sure there was much he could do for her, but at his touch she opened her eyes slightly again and tilted her head into his hand.

"I'm glad you're okay," she whispered after a moment and a twinge of pain ran through him at that. He wanted so badly to say the same to her but the more he looked at her leg the more he found it hard to even form the words. He carded his fingers through a portion of hair that had come loose from it's tail and braids.

"I'm not going anywhere," he promised her and she met his gaze with a look of longing but didn't voice what ever she was thinking. Instead she closed her eyes again and turned her head into his hand even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -grins-
> 
> Well, I gave you what you wanted... sort of.


	25. Fears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See this chapter? It's angsty. Like really, really angsty. It's an angsty chapter. There. You've been warned :)

Things came to Kira in flashes of reality that were skewed and blurred all at once. They were bright and painful like the lightning that had struck her down, coming in too fast for her to do much else but view them.

First there had been pain; agonizingly sharp and brilliant, it had blocked out everything else, even the pain in her throat and ears from her own screaming. She'd tried to not scream. Tried and fail over and over again, but after a time she'd been unable to reason with anything, even herself. Then it had been gone. Just like that the pain withdrew, tapering back to its origin and fading away. She'd heard _his_ voice after that, beautiful and smooth compared to her own torn one.

Her mask had been off and she vaguely remembered Aya, but her wavering attention was focused on him and the way his hand had curled around her cold fingers. The grip was almost too tight with how ripped up her knuckles were but she couldn't even think about telling him to let go. She'd rather have her hand chopped off. She asked him, in the sandpaper whisper her voice had become as the minutes passed, how bad it was because even with the pain gone she knew it was bad. Why else would he look so pale at the question?

His answer had been soft, liquid silk to her aching ears, but the meaning behind his words wasn't much of a comfort. She'd screwed up and if Gaara was worried then she'd be stupid to not realise how bad things were even in fuzzy state of mind she was in. She felt his other hand run lightly through her hair, pulling out the bands that kept things tied and braided. There was a sense of dread and mild panic in the back of her mind, one that seemed to be shared by him and reflected back in his endless sea colored eyes.

She knew she couldn't let things stay as they were between them, on the edge of normal and something else, all because of her words. He was there now, and she could rectify it. He was there and she could hear him and feel him and see him and then it was all gone. He was gone. Snatched away before she could say what she needed to - just in case.

Too late.

Too far gone into the deep waters of darkness.

.

.

.

The second time she woke up, it was because of a blazing heat.

Her eyes flew open and she was greeted with the dark sky and tree tops. Or at least she recognized that's what it should have been. The colors were wrong. Too vibrant and wrong to be right. Trees weren't blue... were they?

"Kira?" His voice echoed in her ears and it seemed to take everything in her to get her eyes to move, to roll in their sockets to find him. He was sitting next to her, knees bent and only then did she realise she was on the ground, the cold earth hardly felt. Why were they not moving? Shouldn't they be trying to get help? Gaara must have realised what she was thinking because his eyes flashed to the side, but Kira didn't follow them. Too tired. Too much heat. "We are stopping for an hour of rest, then we'll get moving again."

Question answered, Kira couldn't seem to focus on much after that. Her clarity too faded again and the heat boiled at her skin, her throat. She felt like she was choking, her lungs unresponsive. Managing to open her gridlocked teeth she got words out on a whispered breath that had nothing to do with what she felt but what she saw instead.

"...Why is your hair yellow?"

The only response she got was in the form of widening eyes and then something pressed against her forehead - a hand?

She heard him curse and then say her name but even as she stared at him, her vision darkened and changed. She blinked her eyes, darkness unfolding in them and it took her a long time to see anything again. Time was gone, she had no reasoning of time, or place for that matter, but the burning heat in her and around her blazed on and on till finally she saw something - and wished she hadn't.

She saw monsters.

Not horror movie monsters that creative directors came up with, not the things told to scare children. Real monsters - her monsters.

She saw Korin, but not as she knew him to be, with a stern face and unreadable motives. His eyes were red, glowing and leaving room for no other colors, hair longer and wet, dripping some dark substance. His face was twisted into a wicked smile, the one he'd used when she'd first met him to lull her into a sense of safety, one that she knew now was bad. His serrated blade was out, extended towards her and she could hear his names for her as if they were whispered in her brain as screeching tones. _Kyote. Scavenger. Mongeral. Dog._

Kimimaro was next to him in his cursed form, snarling at her in that raving mad expression. The ends of his snow white hair were drenched red and a crown of bones looped about his head, tail thrashing about. He seemed lost in anger, eyes darting to and fro, body tense as if he would maul anything that moved wrong, even the man next to him.

Above them both, looking like a hell beast, was the one tails, inky eyes filled with hate for her as if he knew from the start she'd been there watching Gaara and preventing his killing. He opened his mouth to let out a roar, stony teeth gleaming as if he would consume her, sand shifting and dripping within him. She had not seen him in years, not since she was a child, but the feeling of that anger in him had never left her, festering and waiting. It had been one of her biggest reliefs to know the monster had been gone and to see if again brought back every sick feeling she'd had as a child.

Around them all was blood, so thick it coated everything in sight, making walls and a floor as it seeped out from the darkness, spreading like water on ice. Her feet slipped on it. There was so much of it she could have drowned and then she thought maybe that was what she was choking on. She thought maybe it wasn't blood they had split, but she herself had. All of the people she'd killed in the name of her village, her country. All of the lives she'd ended for some greater good.

Only, to those souls it hadn't been that, it had simply been murder. Korin was hissing again, words full of venom. _You'll drown in their blood and then you'll be just like us._ They all grinned at that, even Shukaku with his puffy misshapen raccoon like face and jagged rock like teeth. They grinned and the world shifted.

The world _spun_ and the monsters moved.

Kira lashed out with her hand as Korin reached for it, ranking nails across the side of his neck, her training reflexively there but weakened and clumsy.

She tried to get away.

She wasn't sure when she'd started screaming. She screamed and whimpered, _his_ name on her lips as she pleaded for help.

All she got in reply was a faded, echoing voice nearly too distorted to understand saying that they needed to hurry. Something cool ran down the side of her face, tracing her jawline. she wondered what it was but all she could see was blood and the monsters that chased her.

She slipped in a puddle of red, the world tilting as she fell, glowing eyes and whispering voices following after her in the form of disembodied wraiths.

...

At least they were moving again.

Gaara had hated to stop, even if only for an hour, but he had known it was needed. Everyone was exhausted and after such a fight he couldn't deny them an hour of rest before pushing on. He probably should have tried to rest as well, but had opted for guard duty while everyone slept, too restless and worried to even think about shutting his eyes. He was used to little sleep anyway, despite Kira's efforts and routine 'bedtime' demands. It was the longest hour of time he'd felt in a very long time as he watched over his beaten and bloody ANBU team, all unresponsive due to either injury or chakra depletion. It wasn't something Gaara was used to seeing, and it made the time crawl by even slower.

In the end, they hadn't even gotten a full hour either way.

Kira had woken up suddenly, dazed and whatever relief he might have felt had disintegrated upon her confused, misplaced question. He'd heard of fever causing the mind to see things wrong, to change colors or cause hallucinations, but he'd never thought he'd see it first hand from the girl he was in love with. First it had been the colors not being right and then she'd blacked out for a time, only to come back screaming and thrashing about loud enough to wake Tenten from her curled up spot next to Lee.

Words passed through the shadow user's lips randomly, hoarse and nearly silent pleas for help. She spoke of monsters and blood, she'd shake her head back and forth repeating the word 'no' over and over again, but worst of all was when his name passed her lips. A whispering cry for help, for his help and Gaara had been struck silent next to her, staring in empty agony at the truth of the matter: he could do nothing to help her.

It hadn't stopped him from trying as the rest of the leaf ninja had woken back up. Without thought he leaned closer, taking a careful hand to touch her cheek, to brush back her hair and tell her that he was here - anything to calm her down. It had been a mistake, or rather a thoughtless action. Too quickly for him to move away completely, Kira's hand had suddenly moved at his advancement, fingers rendered into claws that had sliced the pale skin on his left cheek and jawline as he jerked back. Gaara was rather sure if he hadn't moved she would have caught his neck. He'd been too shocked to move for nearly a minute after that, wondering just what she was seeing.

His sand hadn't protected him, hadn't seen her as a threat and Gaara didn't know how to respond to that simply because it had never happened before. He'd forgotten he had taken off his sand armour during his fight with Mu due to the ninja's startling ability to turn sand into glass from the sure heat of his red flames. Gaara had been too distracted afterward to replace it.

Things had moved in staggering speed after that and all the while Kira had burned, her skin nearly too hot to touch. Gaara opted for moving Kira by way of his sand cloud as to not disturb her anymore then she already was and to not risk her lashing out again at things that weren't there. He stood next to her on his sand, stationed in the middle of the Leaf ninja as they continued their way through the thick forests of the Land of Fire. His cheek stung and he could feel the drying blood on his neck from where it had traveled, but he ignored it, glancing down at Kira for tenth time in as many minutes.

She'd stopped screaming, or rather her voice had given out, rendering her to whimpers and muted protests. It didn't matter, Gaara wasn't sure he'd ever stop hearing those screams in the back of his mind as they echoed there, asking for his help. Sand had once again been wrapped around her middle and injured leg to stop her from moving too much and Gaara's eyes linger on the leg. At the red seeping through the bandages slowly and the discolored streaks that grew longer by the hour peeking out from the edges of the wrap. He didn't need to be a medical expert to know that the fever and the streaking was due to infection. More than likely Aya's quick thinking to steam the blood flow with seals had saved Kira from bleeding out, but the blond hadn't had a way to clean the wound. Blood poisoning wasn't as uncommon as some people thought and it could set in quickly under the right circumstances.

Gaara forced his eyes up to her face where Kira's eyes had shut, but her lids kept twitching, eyes moving rapidly under them. Her hair had been undone again and it was sticking to her sweat soaked skin. She'd taken to breathing through her mouth, harsh heavy breaths that made him feel slightly sick with unwelcome thoughts.

What if she didn't make it through this?

What if he had to watch her die?

He wondered if this was how his brother had felt when Kankuro had found her on the battlefield during the war.

"Lord Gaara?" Tenten's voice was like a lance through his troubled thoughts. Looking to his other side he saw the weapon user running next to his sand cloud and nodded at her, hand flicking out and making the surface under him larger. She grunted as she jumped onto it, looking a bit unsteady at first after moving for so long. Then she gave him a tiny smile as he turned completely to her. "Here," she said, holding out her hand, palm up with what appeared to be a dampened handkerchief. "We're getting close to the village and I think it's probably best if people don't see you with blood on our face. There'll be enough of an uproar as it is."

Oh.

She had a point, given that Gaara was known for not taking much physical damage. Him showing up like he was might cause a bit of a stir. He didn't need more rumours floating around than he already had. Silently he took the cloth from her hand and pressed it to his cheek and neck to soften up the caked on blood. After a long moment he managed a 'thank you' and Tenten smiled softly again, moving to look around him at her friend, her face turning worried instantly.

"It doesn't seem fair," she whispered off hand, frowning now. "She was just getting back to normal from what her letters had said." She sighed tiredly. "I hope she'll be alright..."

No one hoped that more than Gaara and no one knew of what Tenten said better. Slowly he started whipping the cloth over the softened blood, trailing it down his neck to clean it off the best he could. It didn't seem fair, he could agree to that. Kira had always seemed to have poor luck in that regard, but she had always pulled though. It was why he had found a friend in her, why he'd made her his guard. Why he...why he loved her.

He wondered then if that was why the sand hadn't stopped her hand. It only ever protected him from threats, but Gaara could never see Kira as a threat, no matter the reason. Trust. Strength. Love. His father had said his mother's soul was in his sand, that she was the one that protected him. He wondered what she would have thought of Kira.

"No matter the hardship, Kira has alway used it to make herself stronger," he said after a while, drawing Tenten's attention. His own eyes were on Kira again, he could almost see the tattoo he had nearly forgotten about that laid on her back in his mind. The one her mother had done in pieces during Korin's training. A reminder to never break. "She isn't the best ninja out there by any means, but she is someone I know to have defied what people expected of her, like a miracle hidden inside a sand storm." Looking at the cloth in his hand, red soaking into it, he flipped it over and wiped it down the path again before checking once more. It came back clean for the most part, so he could only hope it looked better.

When he looked back to Tenten, she was staring at him with a rather surprised look about her, eyes wider than normal, lips parted. "Are you... " The corners of her mouth twitched upward and she shook her head. "Nevermind." A quick look at him up and down and she nodded her head before he could really wonder what she was thinking. "That looks better. Nothing we can do about the scratches themselves, but still better," she offered in a change of subject and took the cloth from him when he offered it back to her. Looking in front of them, the trees were beginning to thin slightly. "We'll get her help soon."

True to those words the group arrived in Kohana two hours later as the sun was just beginning to rise, and turning the sky a brilliant shade of red.

Thankfully due to the hour the streets were mostly empty, though they were greeted by a ninja on duty at the gates. Word was sent ahead to the Hokage and needed medical staff as they made their way toward the hospital which was closer to the entrance then Gaara remembered. Due to the village being newly rebuilt it seemed they had changed quite a few building placements, opting to put medical facilities closer to the entrance for quicker treatment. Walking alongside his shrunk sand cloud Gaara glanced sideways at Kira once more. She'd stilled completely now, though sweat still pour from her skin, hand balling into fists.

Stepping into the main waiting room he found people waiting for them, medical staff dressed in white with three different gurneys. Sakura and to his surprise, Lady Tsunade, were among them, the blond marching straight over to him as her student hurried over to Lee who was carrying Aya on his back. The older woman didn't even spare the young ruler a glance, her attention completely on Kira as her sharp eyes ranked over her form. She pressed the back of a hand to Kira's forehead and made a clicking sound before moving to her leg and rather promptly tearing away the bandages there with a chakra blade.

Startled Gaara took a small step forwards, eyes darting to the wound as the fabric fell away. If he'd felt sick before, he felt worse now. The wound wasn't looking any better and with the red infection streaks going in both directions on her leg it looked worse. The edges of the wound even looked green tinted, yellow oozing from a spot were Aya's seal was beginning to wear off.

Tsunade's face contorted into a grimace, bottom lips between her teeth. "This isn't good," she said lowly before turning to the team behind her. "Prep for surgery at once, we need blood transfusions immediately. Get that gurney over here." In an instant Kira was gone, his sand retreating back to his gorde as she was wheeled off with the rest of her team down the hall. His feet moved to follow her without thinking, but he stopped moments later, realising once again that he was no help to her now.

It was an all too painful thought as the Kazekage stood there in the white waiting room with three Leaf ninja and a nurse left to treat minor injuries. No one said a word until the sound of the roll away tables was completely gone and the sound of the ticking clock in the room proved to be too loud to stand. The entry door opened then, and Gaara turned and was greeted with familiar faces. His sister, Temari, and the newly designated Hokage Kakashi walked towards the small group. The silver haired man looked no different then he always did, opting out of the robes like Gaara did most times. Temari looked tired and worried, eyes flickering around the room for the missing ANBU team.

"They are being treated as we speak," he told her before she could ask and her eye softened, catching the worry in his voice. She looked ready to ask more but Kakashi cleared his throat slightly gaining everyone's attention.

"I believe we all need to talk, but let's move to a more private room shall we?" he offered and nodded to the nurse who was waiting patiently. The thin women nodded her head as well and then turned to lead them off. Kakashi followed, with his ninja behind him with Gaara and his sister taking up the rear. They were lead to a conference room with several chairs, a couch and even a cot in it. Cabinets lines the walls and a window greeted them on the far side letting in light through open blinds.

Gaara wondered, as he took a seat in one of the chairs, if this was what shock felt like, or if this was just how he was handling being so emotionally overwhelmed, his mind refusing to work correctly. He found himself staring blankly at a wall, trying to sort things out in his head so he could say what happened. A flash of blond hair in the corner of his eye alerted him to Temari as she sat down next to his with some medical supplies in her lap. It seemed she was taking charge of cleaning up his one visible wound, which left the nurse to handle the three Leaf ninja. Team Guy looked ready to fall over despite the two male members trying to act like they were full of energy. Tenten on the other hand had simply sat down on the couch at the far end of the room and leaned heavily into it, sighing.

"Gaara?" Temari's voice cut through his thoughts like a knife before his mind could start moving in circles again. Looking at his sister, she held his gaze with that calm, nearly severe look that seemed natural for her. "Tilt your head," she said with a gesture and after a moment the younger sibling did so, giving his sister a better look at the scratches maring his cheek and jaw. He studied the wall as she worked, dabbing disinfectant on them that send little spikes of pain through his face. "How'd you get these?"

"Kira..." he started, and then paused, blinking when his sister froze. He shook his head slightly. "Not on purpose she...I don't think she saw me there. She was hallucinating." Gaara had no doubt of that. Even without her words from before, he knew she would never hurt him on purpose. Kira wasn't one to do that to anyone, despite her job.

"I see," Temari replied going back to work when he stilled his head again. "Your sand didn't stop her?" She was thinking along the same train of thought Gaara had before and he knew if he answered her, she'd come to the same conclusion. His sister was smarter than he was in many ways, and while he hesitated for a moment, Gaara concluded that she probably already knew more than he did when it came to Kira and himself.

"No."

She hummed quietly before simply taping a length of gauze over the scratches and nodded, pleased with her work. Kakashi let the nurse finish treating everyone before he spoke of a debriefing again, chatting with Guy while he waited. Lee joined Tenten on the couch once the nurse had bowed and left the room.

"Well," the Copy Ninja mused. "It would appear our joint problem is bigger than we thought. I've already sent out a retrieval team to go pick up the two rouge ninja you left behind. We'll get them back here and start interrogating them."

Gaara nodded his head, thinking about how the last thing Aya had done before nearly passing out had been to use a seal on both woman to paralyze them. They hadn't had the resources to bring prisoners with them so it had been the next best thing to tie them up in a tree in hopes wildlife wouldn't get to them. Honestly Gaara cared little if they lived or not and still felt little remorse in crushing the one girl's arm.

"I agree," he replied evenly. "These were no normal bandits. The one I fought personally was far stronger than the average ninja."

"Given the state of your ANBU team I'm guessing the other's weren't push overs either," Kakashi surmised and Guy nodded his head, a frown on his face.

"It was quiet the force Kakashi, and they all had strange colored chakra that turned their attacks bright red." His tale made the Hokage pause, surprised, and Gaara's sister tensed beside him.

"Oh? Well now, that is interesting." Turning, the Leaf leader met Gaara's gaze. "I know you must be tired but it is imperative that we know all we can while it's still fresh in your mind."

It's what Gaara expected and he does as asked. He's thankful for it in a way, as it keeps his mind focused on something other than worry and anxiety. Keeps him from thinking about what might be happening in the operating room to Kira. It's an in depth discussion, coupled with question, theories, and possible motives. It took hours and some time during it Gaara saw that Tenten and Lee have fallen asleep due to lack of involvement. The weapon user was curled up against her teammate, heads resting against each other in a way that suggest that they may be more than just teammates now.

He wondered if Kira knew about this occurrence.

By the time they were done little had been decided. They couldn't do much until they interrogated the two rogues and it was becoming apparent that sending in a team blind was a bad idea, though Kakashi assured Gaara the team sent out to retrieve the rouges would be fine. Now all that was left to do was wait and that gnawed at Gaara's mind incessantly with worry. He wished he had more to talk about but one could only say so much and after four hours everyone was tired. He was tired, but there was no chance he was going to get any sleep with how things were. It was a good thing he was well practiced. Guy was shaking his two teammates awake when there was a knock on the door.

Everyone tensed and Tenten and Lee straightened quickly as the door opened and Sakura walked in with Tsunade next to her. Both medical ninja looked tired but small smiles did rest on their faces which gave Gaara hope.

"All of them have been stabilized," Sakura stated and tension seemed to lift like weights from everyone in the room. No one was dead. Kira wasn't dead. "Aya should wake up soon, but she'll need some bedrest. She overdid it, but her chakra network is recovering just fine. Shura's legs are broken and he has a concussion but he's doing well considering his age," she informed them and when she paused for a moment making something twisted uneasily in Gaara's chest.

"And Kira?" he asked, unable to stop himself.

Sakura's small smile fell and she gave him a look that nearly had him standing up, worry clawing at his mind once more.

"She's okay," she answered slowly. "It was rough and she… well she flatlined once, but we got her back. Her injury was bad and well..." She looked pained, choking on her words and nearly flinched when her teacher rested a hand on her shoulder, drawing the redhead's attention.

"There's no easy way to say this," she stated, continuing for her student. "Between the damage and the infection, along with past injuries to the leg and knee there wasn't much we could do. The infection was starting to spread and we had to stop it. We removed the leg from above the knee down."

The world stopped moving. A sharp buzzing rang in Gaara's ears as Tenten made a sharp gasping sound, a hand over her mouth, eyes horrified. He saw Temari shoot up from her seat, shock written on her face.

"Amputation?" Her voice seemed to almost echo in his ears, the word repeated over and over again. Both of the older ninja in the room simply grimaced, a mournful look passing over them as the blond medical ninja apologize, explaining something about having little choice but Gaara couldn't really hear it.

All he could see was Kira's smiling face as she stood next to him in his office. How could her leg just be gone? Surely her injuries weren't that bad… And yet he knew Tsunade wasn't one to joke about such a thing. His fingers drug into the fabric of his sleeves from where they rest crossed armed against each other.

This was his fault.

He'd trained Kira to be his body guard, they'd figure out how to fight together and yet when the time had come Gaara had sent her away. Sent her right into that battle that had resulted in all of this. She'd lost her leg and he'd been the one to cause that to happen. Could she even be a ninja anymore?

Across the room Tenten had ducked her head and turned into Lee's shoulder, her own shaking in grief for her friend as her teammate held her, a great sadness in his eyes. Temari had turned back to him and she reached out to put a hand on his shoulder and said his name. He couldn't reply, the ringing in his ears was too loud.

He felt sick.

He felt hollow and angry and for the hundredth time in the last twelve hours, Gaara felt painfully helpless. He wasn't sure if he wanted to throw up or break something. The only thing that kept his sanity in place was that Kira was alive and that he would find out who had done this because it wasn't just his fault. It was theirs. He wonder off hand if this was how his father had felt when his mother had died and suddenly, Gaara could understand a bit more about why Rasa had resented him.

"Gaara?" Temari tried again and this time he did look at her. His sister looked sad, brows pulled down as she blinked a few times. "It's alright… Kira will be okay," she started, looking down for a moment, her free hand clenching. In the time Kira had been living with his family he knew his sister had come to care for the girl like family. This was hard for her too. "They won't get away with this."

"No," he replied, voice even and cold as ice. If he'd been of a different mind, Gaara might have thought he sounded a bit like he had before he'd met Naruto. His sistered looked back at him, understand in her eyes as she squeezed his shoulder. He looked from her and then to Kakashi. "They won't."

He'd tear the forest apart if he had too, but he'd find out why this had happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -shugs- I'm away I do horrible things to my characters, but it's always for a reason.   
> Let me know what you think!


	26. Crossroad

The steady beep of her heart monitor had become a constant sound in the back of her mind that Kira was able to ignore for the most part now. She understood the need for it, but every once in a while she found herself wishing someone would shut it off or mute the damn thing.

It was a constant reminder of where she was.

Still, she ignored it the best she could.

She was flipping through a book mechanically, not reading it at all, thoughts once again recalling the past days of explanation, problems, outcomes, and solutions. They're all muddled together in her head, only slightly clearer now than they had been three days before during the hestical, devastated fit she'd had. No one blamed her for losing her cool; in fact people seemed to have been expecting worse. Kira wasn't sure how she could have been much worse. She'd never cursed so much in her life, never opening cried in front of so many people, never felt so much anger. Her leg had been gone and she'd been inconsolable. A mild sedative had been the end of that tantrum, and Kira had still been able to feel the gentle buzzing of it, hours after it had worn off. It hadn't knocked her out, just relaxed her, slowing her mind down enough to realize what she'd been doing and be horrified.

It was a _normal_ reaction.

That's what Lady Tsunade had said as Sakura had sat on the edge of her bed beside her and carefully taken her hand to comfort her, seeing as no one from her village had been around at the time. It had been rather early and she couldn't blame her friends for wanting to get some sleep or having duties to see to. Visiting hours were a thing after all.

The explanation of what happened was what Kira thought about most now. A day long run where her ANBU team had to be carried by leaf ninja and their own Kazekage. Apparently she'd woken up at one point, but Kira couldn't remember it, hardly remembered anything after Gaara had arrived on the battlefield and the pain had stopped. Most of Tsunade's medical explanation after that was too technical and too painful to understand completely; still the important words stuck to her brain like glue. Fever. Infection. Hallucinations. These words were followed by ones like 'irreversible damage', 'amputation' and, 'flat lining', words that made Kira shudder if she lingered too long on them.

To think she'd almost died on a medical table during a procedure that had been nearly five hours long. She wasn't sure she would have made it if Sakura and Lady Tsunade hadn't been there. Kira owed them her life and she was grateful, even if things were hard to swallow. After they'd been done talking to her the former Hokage had left the room and Sakura had hugged Kira as she cried, softer that time. Kira hadn't really known the girl very well, hadn't spoken with her much outside of being a patient, but that didn't seem to matter at the time. She'd still been there for Kira, and the shadow user had been grateful, even if bitterness ate at her mind.

In the end, words and what could have happened didn't matter, only the end result, which stared back at her every time she looked down the length of the bed. Her leg was gone from the knee on. The kneecap shattered, the bones burnt, and nerves fried and damaged, all of it removed in order to save the rest of her leg from the growing infection that had turned the edges of the wound an eerie green. Gone. Kira peeked over the top of her book to look at the missing limb and grimaced, laying heavily back into the elevated upper half of the bed. She let the book slip from her fingers and flop onto the bed in a rumpled mess, probably creasing pages into weird angles.

Kira can't find it in her to care, not about a damn book.

"Is your leg bother you?" Temari's voice was a reminder that she wasn't alone and she looked to her friend who sat perched on a chair to her left. The eyes she met are softer than the norm for the blond and worried making the blue color unusually warm. Temari had been a constant since the blond had found out she'd woken up. Kira wondered if she felt guilty for not being there, but they never spoke about it and really, she was glad for someone like Temari at her side. The elder girl doesn't ask if she's alright, doesn't try to cheer her up with promises she has no control over, instead she asked the real questions, ones that are easy enough to answer.

"It hurts a little, but it's not bad." Her lie sounds false even to her own ears, but Temari doesn't press the subject. Kira is grateful for that, she doesn't want to talk about it, doesn't want to think about the what she feels and knows aren't real. It's a frustration that's nearly constant due to pain killers that dull her mind. She swears when she moves one leg she's moving both and she can feel the sheets scrape against the top of her missing foot, but when she looks she'd reminded: it's not there. She wished her mind would tell that to her body. Wished she'd stop feeling the pain of a wound that's no longer there.

She'd asked Sakura about the sensations that morning and the medical ninja had smiled sadly. She'd called it phantom limb syndrome. Apparently that was normal too and would fade with time. Kira was starting to hate what was 'normal' in hospitals.

The pink haired girl had come to her that morning to talk to her about the long road to recovery ahead of her. Physical therapy had started two days before but would soon become more rigorous. There was a prosthetic was in the works; a temporary one for her to get use to until a better suited one can be made. Whether its made for combat or normal day to day function would be up to her and how well she adapted to a leg made of metal and not bone.

The idea of it not being for combat haunted her. Kira hasn't known any life other than that of a ninja as it had been her only choice growing up. It's what she had trained for all her life, what she finds purpose in. Only seventeen - almost eighteen she realised - years old and already life has taken more from her than feels right. She wanted to talk about it, but not with Temari and not with Tenten or Aya who visit often. She doesn't want to talk to Sakura about it and hear more about how 'normal' the response is. She didn't know who she wanted to talk to about it. Maybe Lee, if only because he would understand.

"Do you want anything?" Temari asked after a moment, getting up from her chair. "I need to find some food but I'll be back; should I bring something?" She's asking because Temari knows how much Kira hates the hospital food; everything lacks flavor. The eldest is letting that mothering edge of her personality show through and it's endearing. Kira isn't very hungry though, the IV in her arm saw to that, but she'd been told it was important to eat solid food anyway.

"Maybe some tea," she relented, if only to make Temari worry a bit less. Something warm might be nice. The blond nodded her head, the look on her face worried but thoughtful.

"Black or green?"

"Black."

"Alright. I'll be bac-" Temari's farewell was cut off as a knock on the door sounded, followed by it opening a moment later.

It was the first time she'd seen him since waking and while Kira had wondered on his absence she'd known he more than likely had other problems to deal with. Gaara looked tired - more so than normal - dressed in his normal gear minus the gourd and sporting a bandage on the left side of his jaw. Temari paused and smiled at her younger brother as he let the door swing shut behind him.

"Gaara, I was beginning to wonder where you were," she offered, walking up to him. He nodded his head slightly, eyes sliding from his sister to Kira and a shock ran down her spine and into her chest. What a sight she must have been to him, his bodyguard laid up in bed again with wires and tubes sticking out of her. Then her leg… Kira looked away, staring off to the other side of the room, embarrassed and ashamed to have him see her like this. The heart monitor seemed too loud in the span of quiet that couldn't have been more than a few seconds but seemed longer.

"I was delayed. As you know, prior matters kept me away," Gaara replied finally and Kira glanced back at the siblings once she felt his eyes off her. Something the back of her mind pointed out that it was a bit of a stretch that whatever it was had kept him busy for four days. She pushed that thought away quickly. "We started interrogating the two female shinobi that we captured." That was… odd. Gaara didn't normally get involved with interrogations. Maybe the fact that the attack had been on him personally? No, that happened enough that it wasn't that out of place. Kira wandered what was up, but Temari beat her to asking another question.

"Have they revealed anything?" she questioned and it was plain to see that the blond wasn't surprised by Gaara's involvement, which only puzzled Kira further. The young ruler shook his head.

"They have some sort of seal around their minds that's preventing them from talking about it. With the resources the Leaf has, I'm sure that will change with time," he answered evenly. "Were you going somewhere?"

Temari nodded her head.

"Just to get some food, I'll be back in a bit," she informed him and Kira had to bite her tongue to stop herself from telling Temari she didn't have to come back. Surely the blond had other things to do besides sit in the room with her. Gaara hardly needed to know his sister was wasting her time, but she knew that the elder girl would wave her off. It was her choice after all. "You have good timing, this way she won't be left alone." She made it sound like Kira would do something if she was. She wasn't that upset… not anymore.

"Very well," Gaara murmured and watched as his sister left the room without another word, the click of the door shutting starting another long pause in conversation as Kira looked away once his attention was back on her. She shouldn't do that, she'd worked so hard to not do that, but she found herself relying on old habits again with how vulnerable she felt. Over the sound of medical equipment, she heard the soft steps of the sand user coming over to her and taking his sister's chair by the bed. Worrying her bottom lip with her teeth she glanced at him and tried to offer a smile. It failed miserably.

Truthful she didn't know what to say to him; there were too many things to say to him. It made her chest hurt thinking about how badly things had turned out in the last few days. How she'd gone from telling him the truth to ending up in the hospital. So many things to say and no way to say them. Finally, she lets out a small sigh and closes her eyes.

"Sorry," she murmured, realising he was probably uncomfortable with the entire thing just like her. He doesn't answer at first and when she opens her eyes look at him again he has a calculating look to his face. She caught his eyes for only a moment before he shook his head.

"Sakura told me you're recovering well," he said, changing the subject completely. "After what happened, I'm relieved to hear it." He was being so proper, nearly formal. Kira felt herself frowning at him, brows pulling together slightly. Was he really that uneasy about being alone with her? "How are you… dealing with everything?"

 _How are you dealing with not having one of your legs?_ An unspoken question she knew he wanted to ask, but didn't know how to without being rude. This time, she shook her head, he wasn't the first to ask and she doubted he would be the last.

"As well asy one could be I guess," she murmured, eyes flitting to the missing limb. "I kept expecting it to see it there. It doesn't feel gone. I was told that's normal." Because the nerve endings are still raw. It's _normal_. She _hates_ that word.

"I've heard much the same," Gaara said softly and Kira kept expecting something, a hand on her's or on her shoulder. Something he always did when she was upset. Nothing came though and his arms remained crossed loosely over his chest. "It will subside with time."

Time.

Kira hated that word too, as if time could fix everything. More often than not she found time simply made one feel distant from an event, not healed. How could time fix a missing limb? It was gone. The heart monitor responded to her anxiety, the tempo picking up slightly and she bit at her lower lip again.

_Stop thinking about it._

She took a slow breath in through her nose, trying to calm herself before it got out off hand. She'd freaked out in front of enough people already, she hardly wanted to do to in front of Gaara. Especially with the mood he appeared to be in.

"How have you been?" she asked to distract herself, looking back at him again. The redhead surveyed her silently for a moment before shifting in his seat slightly, resting his back more firmly against the chair.

"My injuries were superficial for the most part. I'm fine." He appeared to be telling the truth. Besides the small dressing on the side of his face he looked fine and he hadn't been limping. Her fingers twitched to reach out and touch the bandage, to inquire on it, but he kept speaking. "Your team took most of the damage as I'm sure you know."

She did.

Kira wasn't the only know who'd been hospital bound after the attack. Aya had nearly drained all of her chakra and had suffered a wound to the head. She was up and around now, stitches hidden under her blond hair and remains of stress around her eyes all but gone. Shura, her leader, was another story. The tree he'd been under had broken both of his fibula and left severe tissue damage to the upper legs and torso. He'd been lucky nothing else had broken, but the doctors were keeping him sedated until he healed more.

"Yeah..." She trailed off, lifting her hand that nearly ached at its previous urge. "Looks like you did get hit pretty good though," she said lightly, reaching out to touch the bandage, to touch him hoping that the contact would make her feel less like she was made out of glass like everyone was acting. To her surprise the redhead flinched away from her touch. _Flinched_. Kira drew her hand back instantly giving him a confused, worried look. He'd never moved away from her before like that. That was her thing, or it had been. "Does it hurt?"

"No," he said quickly, his eyes stormy with emotions she couldn't quite read right. Something like regret or pain but not quiet. "Don't worry about me."

_Right._

Too late.

They lapsed back into silence, the heart monitor much like a clock in its' never ending sharp beeps, the green line jumping in a jagged mountain range across the screen. Something wasn't right. It was like there was a distance between them, one that felt like miles after being so close before. Kira had a feeling she knew why too and she knew avoiding it wouldn't get them anywhere. So even as a small part of her screamed at her to keep her mouth shut as it cowered in her mind she forced her mouth open. Forced the words out if only to get it over with as she stared forward, hand gripping at the sheets on her bed.

"Gaara we… About what I said before we were attacked… we should talk." Oh, it was awkward. So much so it was nearly painful. Normally people didn't have to talk about why they confessed to loving someone. Then again they weren't normal. "I wasn't… It was true, is true."

Silence.

It wasn't really that she hadn't thought it wouldn't be tense, but the air almost felt suffocating in her small room. Quiet suddenly she wished she hadn't said anything, that she had listened to that small cowering voice.

"I can't," Gaara said suddenly, even voiced but not soft, oddly cutting, just like the words. It was enough to get her to look up at him again and she was met with a hard expression. Not angry, but something else. Flat. Tight. Guarded.

"Can't what?" she whispered, surprised she got the words out. He held her gaze in those stormy sea colored eyes, the corners of his mouth tilted down.

"I can't say what you want me to," he stated, shifting his gaze away from her. "It wouldn't be fair."

Kira stared at him, shock freezing her in much the way finding her leg gone had right because she'd gone off the deep end. Wouldn't be fair? Her hands clenched harder in the fabric of the sheet. He was right. It wasn't fair to him. She had just basically shoved her feelings at him. She'd always known there was a possibility he wouldn't feel the same way. Now he just didn't want to hurt her more than she already was. She should have known better. Should have thought it through more before telling him. Too late. The damage was done and Kira…

"I'm tired," she whispered suddenly, drawing her eyes from him. It wasn't a lie, Kira was tired, the drugs to help with the pain made spells of drowsiness common. Whether he believed her or not, Gaara doesn't push her or argue, not that she thought he would. He was probably grateful.

"Alright," he said softly, standing back up again. "Try to get some rest Kira." It was a fair-well that didn't feel right, but all the same she gave a single nod of her head, not willing to look at him as he made his way back towards the door. She didn't even realise she was holding her breath until it clicked shut behind the redhead and she exhaled, her lungs aching. Even with new air she felt like she was choking, felt like her small room was getting smaller by the moment. Her heart monitor responded with more jagged mountain ranges, the steepness sharper than before. Looking up Kira tried to distract herself by counting the same 57 slats of wood that made up the ceiling she'd counted five times already. It didn't work and her eyes stung as they betrayed her, lips twitching in feeble denial.

She was a horrible ninja, she thought, as tears skated down her cheeks and she pressed a hand to her mouth to stifle a sob. Maybe it was a good thing she more than likely could no longer be one if simply being rejected by the boy she loved brought her to such a state. Reacting like this at the loss of her leg had been understood, had been normal, but this? Stupid. How was this somehow worse than her leg? How could she have ever been a ninja like this?

If not a ninja than _what_ though? Kira didn't have an answer because a ninja was all she'd ever been and wanted to be in life.

Staring at the place where her leg should have been Kira felt whatever had been keeping her together crumble. It was just like the house she'd lived in with her mother: everything had turned to ash in moments and Kira had nothing left intact to cling to.

She doubted that time would fix that either.

…

The Leaf did interrogation different than how the Sand did. Baki had a tendency to be violent in his methods and Shura used his Third Eye jutsu to simply read through a person, using silver tongued words and genjustes and manipulate answered from them. The Leaf appeared to use the Yamanaka clan's Mind Transfer jutsu and a series of devices that caused stress on the body.

Gaara eyed the large dome one of the rogue ninja was encased in up to her chin, hair and face drenched in sweat. It was some kind of pressure chamber kept hot and damp. Ino stood in front of her, hand on the stark still ninja, both of their eyes closed. Every once in a while she'd twitch an eyebrow or lip, muttering under her breath. So far things hadn't been going well. Both women were either well trained or something was stopping them from answering questions. Hopefully Ino would figure out which.

Kakashi flipped through a page in the book he was reading as he stood next to Gaara. The silver haired man had walked in with Ino and hadn't left, though Gaara suspected he was just dodging the mountain of paperwork more than likely waiting for him. The redhead couldn't blame him. In truth Gaara was avoiding things too; neither of them really needed to be there for this but neither of them was willing to point that out. He was sure the current Hokage knew well enough what was going on given Gaara's clipped answers when it had come to them speaking about Kira.

He didn't want to think about her. When he did he found his chest twisting so hard it hurt to breath. Guilt and pain seemed to have carved a hole out in it. It was for the best, he kept telling himself. How could he possibly...

No.

Best not to wander down that train of thought.

Ino made a small noise in front of him and Gaara let his attention sway to her once more as she blinked, frustration clear on her face.

"They have seals on their minds, that's for sure," she informed them, letting her hand fall to her side and turning to the two leaders. "It's almost like they need some kind of trigger to unlock it and I can't find out what that is. I can't get through it. Maybe if my father were here..." she trailed off, pain flickering through blue eyes for a moment before she shook her head. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be so hard on yourself Ino," Kakashi responded, a small smile under his mask appearing through the dark fabric. "You've improved immensely and I have no doubt you've done as much at Inoichi could have done. We'll simply have to keep trying."

Gaara simply nodded his head when her eyes flickered to his briefly. She was a Leaf Ninja, he doubt she wanted much of his attention.

"Perhaps it's time we took a short rest. We've been been here quite a while," Gaara offered.

"True enough," Kakashi agreed nodding slightly. "Our only lead probably needs a rest too given the length in which she'd been in there. Won't be much good if she suffers permanent damage." He nodded to two ninja near the door and they set to work on undoing the doom. "I'll let you know when we continue, Lord Kazekage."

A dismissal if he'd ever heard one. Kakashi probably wished to speak with the blond without him present. It was fair enough. They may have been allies, even friends, but all nations had their secrets. Another nod and Gaara left the room and then the building a few moments later. He was greeted with the bright light of afternoon when the doors opened, his eyes blinking rapidly to recover. It really was a lot later then he'd intended to stay but again he'd had reasons.

Not good ones, but they were reasons.

Now that he was out he wasn't sure what to do. Options were limited and even fewer seemed pleasant. It had only been a day since he'd last spoken with Kira and he knew things hadn't gone well. His sister was almost always with her as it was and that left few people to speak with that he felt he could. There was always Naruto, but last he'd heard the blond was out training, still getting use to the new arm he had.

New arm…

Gaara had spoken briefly with Lady Tsunade after leaving Kira the day before. She'd wanted to give him a straight answer about her options. He'd been surprised when she'd brought up the Hashirama cells, the same method that had given Naruto back his arm, but it had been with a different answer than he had hoped. Kira wasn't compatible with the cells. It shouldn't have surprised him; very few actually were despite the Hero of the War being so. Still, it left a bitter taste in his mouth.

"Gaara," a clipped female voice broke his thoughts instantly and he was left slightly confused as he turned to his left. He hadn't moved much but it appeared people had been waiting for him. Two people. Tenten and Rock Lee stood side by side, the former's arms crossed and her face twisted into a serious, almost angry expression. The later looked concerned and a bit nervous, his eyes flickering between the girl beside him and Gaara himself.

It wasn't often Lee looked nervous. What had he heard about scorned women again?

"What are you two doing here?" he asked, keeping his arms crossed naturally across his chest. From their expressions it couldn't be good but he couldn't think of what they could have to talk… unless… "Is everything alright with Kira?"

It was the only thing he could think of. Beside his sister and Aya, the two in front of them seemed to be the ones who were around his bodyguard the most, if the visitor sign in meant anything. It seemed he'd hit the mark by the way Tenten frowned at him, but it also appeared he'd somehow done it wrong as the weapon user's hands balled.

"Are you seriously asking us that?" she snapped and Lee nearly flinched. Gaara's brows raised, surprised that she'd speak to him like this. He was, after all, a Kage. "How do you think she's doing Gaara? Did you expect everything to be okay after what you said yesterday?" she said it so abruptly all the redhead could do was blink, surprised. "Kira didn't tell me what happened, if that's what you think. She too loyal to do that… but ever since yesterday, after I saw you leave her room..." She trailed off, her eyes looking down as she shook her head and Lee rest a hand on her shoulder. "She was crying but she wouldn't say why. She hasn't been… She said she didn't care anymore, if she could keep being a ninja or not."

...What?

Something in his brain felt _wrong_ at that statement, fuzzy and hollow. It was like hearing a lie yet Gaara new Tenten had no reason to lie. Kira didn't care? As in she'd given up? That wasn't…

He didn't know what to do with that information. The fact that she'd been in tears made that feeling in his chest show up again, guilt and pain swarming in. He'd thought she'd seemed upset when he left but he'd never thought what he'd said would do that.

"Gaara," Lee spoke up finally, getting his attention. For once the green jumpsuit wearing ninja seemed to have shed all of his glee, a certain seriousness in his face and in his tone. "Will you tell us what happened? We are simply worried and it appears you are as well. Maybe we can solve this."

The sand user looked away from his gaze for a moment. There were few who made him feel compelled to talk about his problems. Naruto, his sister, and Kira were most of them. He realised in that moment, Lee was one too. There was something comforting about the fighter despite their past interactions. Then again, maybe it was because of the past that he felt he could speak with him.

So he told them. He started with before the battle days ago and ended with him leaving the room the day before. He didn't express much, just said what had happened, relayed the words and by the end of it, the hand on Tenten's shoulder appeared to be holding her back rather than being there for comfort. He couldn't seem to decide whether she was angry or just upset but Gaara found him wanted to take a step back from her gaze. He felt rather disarmed in the face of angry friends, even more so when that anger was clearly pointed at him.

"Why would you say that?" she asked confusion lacing her voice. "You know, Kira talked about you all the time in our letters back and forth. She painted quite the picture. Even if she hadn't told me, it was easy to tell how she felt about you. And don't even try to tell me you don't feel the same way," her sudden snap stopped Gaara from protesting, his words falling silent in his mouth. Tenten's shoulders were nearly shaking as she shook her head. "I know what I saw when we were heading here and I know what you said. Or are to going to tell me you aren't the sandstorm in that analogy?" She took in a deep, almost pained breath of air and Lee whispered her name as if to get her to stop but she ignored him. Instead she stared the redhead down with glossy, wet eyes filled with fire. "She's your miracle, right?"

If Gaara hadn't been surprised before, he was now. He didn't know Tenten very well, but he'd always known she had to be something special, had to be a good person, if Kira had formed a bond with her so fast after only knowing the girl a few days. He didn't know how to respond to what she'd said other than what came to mind instantly. He didn't have to think about, he just knew.

"She is." It surprised him how strong his own voice was with those two words, emotion bleeding into them like tea leaves in water. He had thought it would sound frail - tired or hopeless to admit it out loud. A lot of people saw such things as weakness, but as he said it, he felt none of that. Just the steel strong truth of it. He'd only known Kira personally for a little over a year but she'd know him most of their lives. She'd been his shadow, quite literally, and had seen everything he'd done yet she'd never held it against him. She'd seen past that, seen something worth protecting enough to cause a scene in his office all those months ago.

It had changed the course of both their lives and Gaara was better because of it.

She made him a better person.

She made him stronger.

She was his miracle in the sandstorm that had always been his life.

"Then...why say that to her?" Tenten asked quietly and it seemed as if some of her anger had diffused into sadness edged with regret, as if just now realising how out of bounds she was. Not that it seemed to stop her from finishing. He knew he could turn her away, tell her to leave because she was out of line but he'd never seen his friends that way. He'd never turned them away or had them speak to him like a leader. He'd never wanted that and while it did little for his ego he couldn't fault her for her actions.

Gaara just let out a small sigh, knowing he couldn't just leave the answer untold. He'd been avoiding it too much as it was.

"She lost her leg because of me," he admitted finally. "Everything that's ever happened to her is my fault or can be traced back to me." He couldn't seem to stop himself from saying those words. They were true, even when he hadn't know who she was, her life had been turned upside down because of him. His father had used her as a tool, let Korin down right torture her all for him. Even being a ninja, her entire career had been based around him. He'd never really thought about it till he'd been faced with the fact that he'd ordered her to that fight and it had cost her a leg. He wanted to blame the rogue ninjas but it wasn't just their doing. It was his too.

His face twisted into a frustrated frown, hands twitching where they were. Why couldn't they simply understand the truth of the matter?

"She would be safer kept at a distance from me."

Glancing at his friends he saw Tenten had lost all of her anger, her face contorted in shock and confusion, a lingering sadness in her eyes. Lee seemed settled about something, as if he'd made a choice and Gaara didn't have long to wait to see what that was as Lee looked to the girl beside him.

"Let me talk to him," he said quietly, squeezing her shoulder with the hand that had yet to leave it. She looked to him, eyes locked there for a long moment before she closed them and gave a small nod. Lee gave her a fond smile. "I'll come get you for dinner later." With that he dropped his hand and ushered her back the way they must have come. Tenten paused only briefly to look back at them, her eyes meeting Gaara's as for the briefest of moments, a silent apology, and then she was gone, turning the corner around the building.

They waited another five minutes before the Taijutsu user waved a beckoning hand.

"Let's take a walk, Gai sensei always says it helps lift the spirit." It was odd to hear such words without that chipper voice of his, but the redhead still silently agreed and followed him away from the building that served mostly as a jail.

They took a path that seemed to follow the flow of the river that snaked the outer edge of the village, the colors of the sky reflected in the even flow of it casting warmth upon the surface. Gaara could distantly hear birds singing off in the woods beyond. It was oddly calming, just as Lee had said, though Gaara had never imagined it would be with the boy he'd nearly killed twice less than five years ago. This wasn't how he had thought the day would go but he found the act somehow fitting, even if it was brought about by Rock Lee.

It had to be one of the strangest things Gaara had ever done.

"You know, I have always admired you a bit," Lee said off hand, surprising the redhead as he grinned at him suddenly, though never stopped walking. "You are my age but you're a Kage, I always wondered how you handled it all but you seemed to do just fine. You are a good leader Gaara, you make the hard choices some would not be able to." He looked at the redhead evenly then, it was so strange to hear such words for him. So often he'd thought of Lee as too energetic and single minded to ever have such insight into people's lives. He'd misjudged him yet again it seemed. "I think that is what you did during that ambush too."

Gaara halted in his steps, frowning at the boy. "You're wrong." Gaara made mistakes all the time, it just never seemed to matter. Before Naruto it had been the opposite. Nothing but fear and hate and negative words. He'd done everything he could to change that and it had worked, perhaps a bit too well. People only seemed to see what he did right. Maybe that was why he kept the elders around, because they regularly did point out the things he did wrong. Lee shook his head, disagreeing.

"I have spoken with Aya a few times since she was up and around." He bent down and scooped up a good sized rock from the ground where it had lay half in the grass half on the road. He clenched his hand around it for a moment, thinking. "From what she has said about that fight, if Kira had not shown up, neither Shura or her would still be alive. It was a four to two battle and they had been caught off guard. It is very possible Kira saved their lives." He looked to Gaara as he tossed the rock in the air and caught it absently. "I think you knew that was a possibility and did what you thought was best. You made a hard decision, and it was the right one in my book."

Maybe he was right, it was what he'd told Kira when she'd protested. Gaara had only seconds to make a choice back then and he'd known he would be okay in a one on one battle. He hadn't wanted to send Kira away but he'd had it think about the others on her team. It had been a hard choice. It didn't make him feel much better.

"That doesn't change the outcome," he pointed out, and Lee nodded rolling the rock in his hand. It frustrated Gaara. "If you knew that why say it at all?"

"Because neither Tenten or I can just sit back and watch this happen. I think you are making the wrong choice," he stated, frowning, eyes on the rock in his hand. "During the war we lost Neji, and then we almost lost Gai Sensei. There are a lot of things I wish I could have told Neji, things we both wanted to say, but I know he never regretted his actions for one moment because he was smiling in the end." Neji had saved two of his friends by sacrificing himself, Gaara had heard, but he hadn't known much else. It brought new light to the act. "I do not know Kira as well as you do but..." Lee's hand tightened around the rock, and his eyebrow shifted down, determined. "But I do not think she would regret it either. Even if she had known, I think she would have chosen to save her team at the cost of her leg anyday."

He was right. Gaara didn't even need to think about that question. Her ANBU team was almost like family to Kira. Aya was one of her few close friends and Shura had acted like a father figure to both girls who had none. How badly would it had hurt her to find out they were both dead? He concluded in seconds it would have been far worse than losing a limb. She'd been devastated when she'd lost her mother and her home, and ever since the war her sleep had been haunted. He didn't think she could lose much else without breaking.

Suddenly Tenten's words came back to him like he'd been hit square in the gut. She'd been crying. She didn't care anymore. Had his words unintentionally done what he'd feared might happen? It appeared him trying to keep her from getting more hurt had come back around and done so anyway. His fault again but maybe something he could fix. If she even spoke to him.

"Even if I did tell her… what my feelings are," he relented finally. "It wouldn't change the fact that if she stays with me, she might suffer more than she has." It wasn't worth the risk. Gaara would rather be alone, watching her at arms length then watch anything else bad happen to her because of him. Enough happened to her because she was his guard, he could only assume it would be even worse if they were more than that.

"I think, maybe, you are missing an important fact," Lee offered and Gaara raised a pale brow at that. Lee lifted his shoulders in a small shrug. "It is just, according to Tenten, Kira loves you and that makes everything you just said out of your hands." He raised a thick brow at the redhead's clear confusion. "When I was told that the surgery to fix my arm and leg might kill me, a lot of people told me not to do it. That I would be better off just retiring from being a ninja. That was their idea on the matter, but the final decision was mine because it was my life. It's the same for Kira: it's her life, her feelings. That makes it her choice Gaara, whether she wants to take the risk."

Her choice.

As a leader Gaara had been expected to make choices for a lot of people. He'd assigned missions, finalized laws and agreements, and decided whether or not countless ninja were fit for active duty. That was his job as Kazekage. But this choice, this had nothing to do with him being a leader; it didn't even have anything to with Kira being a ninja. It was about Gaara and Kira as two separate people and their feelings for each other. He wanted to keep her safe, protect her even if it made him unhappy, but it wasn't his place to make that decision for her, not in this matter.

"I don't wish to see her in pain," he argued and Lee nodded his head.

"I understand that. But Gaara, if she really does love you, dont you think she'd be just as miserable apart from you, just as you are now? I would think that if you had each other, at least you could have good things to help outweigh the bad."

The redhead considered those words, letting them sink in. He found himself recalling events that had been just that. He remember the day he'd found out Naruto's teacher was dead and he'd been distraught about it. Then Kira had show up and somehow she'd made him feel better and turned that day into something better. There were many events like that; things that maybe should have been seen as bad memories, trying memories, that had ended up not being that at all.

Was that what Lee was talking about?

It had to be, and Gaara realised with startling clarity that he didn't want that to change. If he pushed Kira away, he didn't think that they could go back to how things had been. She wouldn't be the same, and neither would he and it wouldn't be in a good way. He found himself mentally flinching away from the idea.

He hadn't meant to hurt her, he'd meant the opposite, but now he realised the way he was going not hurting her wasn't a possible outcome. He wondered how it must have felt when he'd moved away from her touch and then he'd refused to give in to comforting her. He'd thought it for the best but now… now he felt like a fool. Looking back at his friend, he realised something else.

"That sounds like a personal experience."

Lee rubbed his neck with a free hand, looking off to the side, a smile still broad on his face. "You could say that," he admitted, but instead of explaining left it at that. This wasn't about his relationship, this was about Gaara's. If he had one still.

"She's upset with me." There was no question behind that; Kira had every right to be. Lee laughed slightly.

"Yeah but, I think she'll forgive you, seeing as how much she cares about you."

"How are you so sure?"

"Umm, well...You tried to kill me, twice," he pointed out suddenly, and Gaara found himself flinching as he looked at the green suited ninja. Lee was grinning again, that determined look about his eyes that he seemed to wear so naturally. "Not indirectly, not because you sent me somewhere, but because you wanted to at the time. I have forgiven you for that, so do you not think she can forgive you too? She has been willing to stand up to everything you have been through so far, so why would this be what changes her mind? I think the power of that bond you have with her, might be the only thing more powerful than Gai sensei's power of youth."

Despite his reference to a philosophy Gaara still didn't really understand, he did understand what Lee meant. He watched as Lee caught the rock again and was oddly reminded of that day under the training area with the boys and the paper bomb. Kira had saved their lives at the cost of hurting her shoulder worse. It was the same day she told him everything and he'd learned he'd had someone at his back for far many more years then he'd thought. Thinking back, they'd spent a lot of time together in the past year.

Kira wasn't one to throw away all that time, all those memories. Not if she really meant what she said, and he knew she did.

"I have never been very good at this, at being open about such things," he murmured off hand, a weak argument that he knew would get him nowhere. It was almost a lie, given how he spoke with Kira. Lee shrugged his shoulders and threw the rock suddenly. It skipped across the water four times with startling speed before crashing into a large stone halfway across and impaling itself there. Dust rose up from the two rocks briefly as he spoke.

"Like I said, you can only make up your choice on this. She has to decide for herself what she wants, what she's willing to risk. I would think that if given the chance, you would both be stronger together, strong enough to face anything."

Even a missing leg and a mysterious enemy force. Even a room full of elders that would disapprove and both of their own emotional weaknesses. Gaara let out a long breath and looked out over the river. Once more Lee was right and he was wrong - had been wrong from the start. Now he just needed to fix what he'd started and hold true to what he'd told Kira before the mission had started.

"It appears there's somewhere I need to be."

Lee grinned and gave him a thumbs up.

"I thought so."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now all together everyone: Face palm.
> 
> Writing Gaara understanding feelings is a monster of a project. Sorry, it took so long.
> 
> Please review!


	27. Development

She had never thought in her short life of seventeen years that she would have to learn to walk again. She had no memories of learning the first time, nor had her mother had stories to tell her of such achievements due to Kira being five when they'd met. She hadn't thought she'd need the memory, because once you learned such a thing, you never lost it, or at least she'd thought that. Losing a leg had taught her otherwise.

She wondered how much harder it would have been without the training she'd had as a ninja her entire life. She was physically stronger than she would be otherwise, so perhaps things were going better than she thought they were. It just didn't feel like it.

Sweat slid down the side of her face and back at the effort, her hands gripping at the waist high bars on either side of her. She was trembling all over, anxiety and pain making her teeth clench as she concentrated on the chakra flow that acted like strings to pull and shift the metallic leg. The prosthetic was crude but perfect for learning how to use one, nothing fancy, just gesture shapes to make up body segments. When they'd amputated her leg, they'd also implanted a small metal bar that acted as the anchor attachment for the prosthetic. From there the joints for the knee and foot went on and much like how puppet masters used chakra strings to control weapons, the person learned a far more basic version that would control the movement of the joints. She'd never have feeling in it, not like touch or pain, but it allowed her the subconscious knowledge that it was there doing its job.

She'd managed to learn that while sitting a chair, rotating and shifting each joint carefully until it had become easier. From there she'd come to the present, which was putting those motions into practice. Putting weight on it hurt more than she'd thought it would. While the wound itself was mostly healed thanks to medical ninjutsu, the nerves around the area were still throwing a tantrum, causing phantom pains to crop up even more as well as pain from the implant that had done nothing but sit there until now. The pain made it ten times harder to concentrate on moving the joints of the prosthetic correctly, which caused her to trip and fall, even collapse under a suddenly useless appendage.

It was embarrassing and hard on what little spirit she had left.

"Come on Kira, you can do this," Sakura cheered her on from the end of the therapy railings which was only a few more steps away. "Just take a deep breath in and try to imagine what a normal step looks like."

It was meant as encouragement, Kira knew that, but the pain was suffocating and she was tired, that alone made a few steps look like a few miles. They were in the rehab room for the third day in a row, the large room filled with different tools and items that Kira didn't know anything about, nor did she care to.

Her eyes flickered past the pink haired ninja to her other silent supporter. Sai had shown up just before her session had started, stating that Temari was stuck in a meeting and sent her apologies. Kira could hardly be upset, the blond did have a job to do and she'd been at Kira's side constantly over the last few weeks. For whatever reason Sai had ended up staying, planting himself in one of the chairs along the far wall and pulling out a sketchbook. He wasn't one of her staple visitors, but the artist had shown up once or twice to check on her, normally in the company of Sakura.

It was a curiosity that often plagued her mind. Something that often led down a bad road of tangenting thoughts about Tenten and Lee, and then a certain redhead. Gaara hadn't been back around since that day they'd spoken and Kira wasn't quite sure if it upset her or not. She didn't know what to think, only that her chest ached and she couldn't breath right when she thought about it.

Her thoughts were once again her down fall and Kira felt her grip slip on one of the joints, the ankle, a second too late. The formed shape that acted as a foot caught on the ground like a toe would and her hands slick from sweat didn't hold her up like they should have. She crashed to the ground with a startled gasp, landing on her hands and knees, the fake one rattling and sending shockwaves up her leg. Her teeth gritted harder as she stared down at the ground and the sound of hurried steps came closer.

"You alright?" Sakura asked concerned, gentle hands on her shoulders. What a stupid question to ask. It seemed like she'd been on the floor in this position more times then she could count.

"No," Kira answered flatly, shaking her head and letting out a tired sigh. "I'm not getting anywhere with this." She didn't even really know why she kept trying. She'd expected that she may never be who she was again, that her job was more than likely forfeit. She'd accepted that the boy she loved had turned her down. She'd thought that she'd simply fade into the background, everything she'd had just gone in an instant . She didn't have anything to push her forward but for some reason she kept trying. Kept feeling that long gone pain on her back where her mother had put that tattoo.

_The sky has room for every star._

She just wasn't sure she was a star at all anymore.

"What's the point?" it came out of her in a tired whisper, her mind clearly not filtering her thoughts.

Maybe there was a small part of her that still believed there was a place for her. But right now that stubborn part was silent and every other part of was dragging her down with a weight that didn't have a name. Sakura gave a look torn somewhere between sadness and anger.

"Don't say that," she ordered, frowning. "You can't just give up now Kira, you were so close this time."

It hadn't felt close at all but indeed she was only a foot from the end of the bars. Her muscles twitched and then protested and she shook her head.

"It hurts too much," was her only protest, but it was a valid one. She just wasn't sure what part of her she was talking about at that moment - her leg or how heavy her chest and mind felt. The sad smile the girl gave her told her that maybe Sakura did know.

"I know it does," she relented, eyes looking down for a moment, her hand still solidly on Kira's shoulders. "It will get better with time. I promise." Behind her, Kira spied Sai looking at them both now, his pencil having stopped on the page. His eyes were focused on Sakura's back and while his face was carefully blank, Kira spied something hidden in those dark eyes. She supposed both of them knew, didn't they? Sakura had spent years chasing after one boy and Sai had simply had to watch her do so. Looking back at the healer Kira just closed her eyes. She wanted to believe the girl's words but everything just seemed so far away, so distantly out of reach.

"I can't find it in me to continue right now..." That little part of her wasn't pushing right now and it was all too easy to sink into stillness. Sakura met her eyes and understanding was there, though the twist of her mouth showed stubbornness. She wasn't going to let the shadow user just give up and it was both endearing and aggravating all at once.

"Kira-" she started, but then stopped suddenly as the door to the rehab room opened and then shut again. It was behind Kira and at the moment looking behind her was a bit hard, but Sakura did and the shadow user saw her eyes widen and then she stood, hand's leaving Kira's shoulders. "Lord Gaara?"

Her question froze the raven haired girl in place. Gaara? Why in the world was he here? Surely if Temari was busy the Kazekage was too. Standing up straighter, the medic went on.

"Can I help you with something?"

There was a beat of silence that followed and Kira's eyes glanced to Sai who was looking over at the redhead as well, but his eyes flickered to meet hers after a moment. She could feel the sand user's own gaze on her now as Sai gave the smallest of nods to her as if to reassure her of something.

"I would like to speak with Kira for a moment if I could." _Alone_. He didn't state it, but it was easy to tell from his tone - steady and strong. Unquestioning like any ruler's should be. Sakura glanced at Kira as if to ask if it was okay with her but Kira just gave a half shrug. She didn't really care, but denying her leader wasn't something she was really able to do either. Sakura gave a small nod.

"Alright, just let me help her to a seat really fast." She moved as she spoke, taking a familiar place at Kira's side and wrapping an arm around her. They both stood as one, Kira's arm over Sakura's shoulders, using the girl much like a crutch as they slowly moved over to where Sai was. Once seated Kira gave a small word of thanks, unable to look any of the people in the room in the eyes now. Part of her still felt like she should have been on the floor with how she felt, but she didn't voice it and let her two friends leave after a short goodbye. Sakura would wait for her outside of the room once they were done.

The entire event took no more than five minutes and soon enough the sound of the door clicking shut echoed back to her in the quiet room. Just her and Gaara now, yet the room seemed so much smaller now. She suddenly wished she said she wasn't okay with talking to him because she wasn't sure she was. She wasn't sure she could handle it.

She couldn't look at him, her hands resting on her lap, the fingers curling into the fabric of the pants she borrowed from Tenten. Kira had refused to keep wearing a hospital gown and thankfully her and weapon user were close in size. The fabric was nothing new, nothing important like the young man in front of her. She should look at him, she hardly had such a problem before but once again it felt like whatever progress she'd made with eye contact had been thrown out.

She heard him walking closer and her stomach knotted up, instantly unhappy with her incisive anxiety. She didn't know what to do. Her hands started shaking and she cursed internally. This was Gaara, why the hell was she so scared just because it was him? She'd known it was possible things would be different but she was just making it worse. Get a grip. Snap out of it.

A hand entered her vision, pale and unmistakeable, and carefully laid on top of one of her own shivering ones. It was warm and soft like always, comforting, and she found herself staring in startled confusion at it. He hadn't touched her once the last time they'd been in the same room together and now...

Now she didn't know what to think.

Kira gathered up everything brave that was left in her and looked up, only to find that Gaara has couched in front of her, rather than staying standing so that they were at eye level. Her eyes widened, surprised, and if things were different she might have teased him about taking advantage of the situation and having her look up at him for once. Things weren't different though and she nearly shied away from how close they were, just a foot and some inches apart. She couldn't do it though, too confused and heartbreakingly unable to do so because she still loved him and thus wanted to be close to him.

He was looking at her with a warmth in his expression she'd only seen a few times that was mixed with worry. He looked sad almost, cautious even and it made her own thoughts and fears seem less important. He always came first in her mind, even now.

"What's wrong?" she murmured and watched his sea colored eyes dart from her's to their hands and then back again. He almost seemed...Nervous?

"I'm sorry," he said suddenly, jarringly, and Kira blinked a few times, worry turning quickly to confusion. He was apologizing? "This is my fault." He left no real room for debating that claim but Kira felt words climb in her throat anyway.

"I don't..." she trailed off half way through her reply because really, in the back of her mind, she did kind of agree with him. She was hurt and he had been the one to hurt her, it was as simple at that. Still, he'd been right, it hadn't been fair to him and for some reason him saying what he did bothered her. "You have a right to how you feel Gaara… I'm just glad you told me." No, she really wasn't; at least a part of her wasn't. The part of her that loved him so much it was impossible to understand his rejection. It was something she'd have to live with. Gaara shook his head, frowning.

"I didn't tell you Kira," he stated, causing her to pause.

"But you said-"

"I said," he cut her off calmly. "That I couldn't tell you." He looked off to the side, seeming to bite back a sigh then, and Kira felt a strange feeling bubbling up over her nausea. It was like she knew what he was going to say and yet couldn't understand the words - a blurry picture left unfocused. "I thought," he went on, speaking slowly, looking back to her. "That I was doing what was best by not telling you."

By not telling her?

Her brain scrambled, a fledgling bird learning how to fly in a panic, reaching and pulling for answers. Trying to break free and understand something simple. It felt like her heart was in her ears again and she licked her lips, using her free hand to brush back her hair. She'd kept it unbound today and now it gave her something to toy with. She tugged at a section of it harder than necessary.

So many questions - she picked one at random, unable to pick the one she really wanted just yet.

"What was best?" she asked quietly, searching his eyes, her hand twitching under his as it had let go of her pant leg. He gave a simple nod of his head.

"I didn't want you to get hurt again because of me, you're already in constant danger as it is because of our roles," he explained and Kira felt a protest on her lips instantly, but the look he gave her had them dying there. "I realised too late that it was never my choice to make for such a situation. What happens on the battlefield, and what doesn't are different, they should be handled different. I said it wouldn't be fair, but in reality I wasn't being fair to you Kira. That is why I'm sorry."

She wanted water quite badly suddenly, her throat sand dry and she wondered if all the exsertion from therapy was catching up with her or if this was truly what it felt like to stand on the knife edge of a truth - a truth she couldn't quite grasp despite it standing there, inches from her but too blurry to read.

"So what's the truth then?"

It should have been an easy thing to answer, but it wasn't and Kira knew that. Words meant everything and nothing depending on who said them and how they are said. Gaara looked down at their hands once again, looking at them as if trying to picture something very hard. Then he moved his hand away slightly only to change position and wrap his fingers around her palm. Heat bloomed there and then shot up Kira's arm like a firework straight into her chest.

"The truth is that I didn't understand what you meant to me until recently. I thought myself lucky to have a friend like you, someone who made me feel like this. I was content with that, until I realised how different you were from everyone else." His eyes drifted up slowly to meet hers again and once more it was the sea that controlled the moon as Kira stared at him, unable to move an inch at his words. His hand tightened around hers and she watched him struggle if only for a moment before resolve calmed the tide of his emotions. "What you said before, in the woods before the battle. I feel the same way about you."

He didn't say the words, but neither had she. Kira knew because he'd known and something that had been seizing up in her chest since the last time they'd spoke suddenly snapped and released and it was like she could breathe again. Air whooshed out of her and everything came with it. Anger, fear, joy - an insanity brought about by a conclusion that was completely different from her own beforehand.

If she hadn't been so tired she might have shook him or yelled or _something_.

As it were, all she could manage was a strained laugh as she shook her head and leaned forward, letting her forehead come to rest on his right shoulder. She felt him jump, surprised, but he didn't protest.

"You have horrible timing," she murmured half heartedly, teasing, thinking about how upset she'd been before he'd shown up, how tired she'd been. How close she'd been to excepting what was left of her life, a life without him and now he'd done this. She wanted to be angry, but that emotion didn't seem possible at the moment. "We need to work on your communication skills." They both did, if only to save both of them from heartache.

Her hand finally responded to his and she flipped it to touch palms and curl her fingers around his own. The redhead let out a small chuckle, and she felt fingers run through her hair and closed her eyes.

"It would seem we do," he agreed and she didn't need to open her eyes to know what he looked like then, the tension melting away, the storm calming in his eyes though the pull they had on her what still there. They stayed silent for a few minute, enjoying the broken wall that had seemed to separate them before. Kira's missing leg ached, but she found it easier to ignore with him so close. "What do you want to do now that you know?" he asked after a while and at first she was confused but then remembered that he stated it was her choice what she did with the information.

It was an odd way of handling what was clearly between them now that both had laid their feelings bear. It seemed like a simple enough answer to Kira, it seemed obvious, but then she thought about it more and realized getting what she wanted meant getting things she didn't. The whispers behind her back, the burning inferno her old home had been; Gaara must have realised that if they were more than friends, more than teammates, more than bodyguard and Kage, that things could get worse. Things _would_ get worse.

"Are you going to fire me from my job?" she asked bewildered. Would she have to trade her title as protector, for girlfriend?

"If you are cleared for it, whether or not you keep the position is up to you," he answered easily and Kira opened her eyes at that, pulling away and causing his hand to drop from her hair. She met his eyes, a brow raised in quiet curiosity. He just gazed back with an even look that stated nothing but the truth. "I wouldn't take you from anything, unless you asked it of me. It's your life Kira, no matter what we are to each other."

Her eyes dropped to her legs at that, at the metal and wood thing attached to one, her smile faltering and fading. "I'm not sure it is, honestly." She'd just heard him say as much, if she was cleared for it. If she adapted to her new leg enough. The pain was still there, throbbing and clawing, shooting down into an ankle and foot long gone. She dreaded the thought of putting weight on it ever again. Fingers touched at her shoulder, light at a moth's wings.

"It is," Gaara argued, his voice unwavering, the nervous tone long gone now. "But you have to want it for yourself Kira, no one else." His words drew her eyes back to his, as he held her gaze there as he spoke, as if reading her own soul through her eyes. "You've spent a great deal of your life doing things for others. Doing things for me and your mother and your friends. The lack of personal belongings proved that long before and I had hoped with time that would change. It has to a point, but you need to take that final step. You need to want the life you've had for yourself."

For herself.

It was a fairly new concept to her, true, putting herself first. She'd never been given much of a choice in that matter and in time it had become habit, putting other people first had been what felt right to her. It wasn't though, it never had been and after meeting Gaara she'd learned that all to well. Habits are hard to break though and she realised that maybe the reason she'd wanted to give up was because she felt like he'd cast her aside and if that were true, what would be the point? He'd proved he wasn't doing that and it had stopped her dead in her tracks.

It would be so easy to use that - use him - as a reason to push forward again, but that was what he was now saying not to do. As she thought about it, as she looked back down at their hands that laid so near to her knees, she realised she didn't want that either, even if that thought was dragged from her in a slow agony of breaking a cycle. Live for yourself first, then for others. Kira's eyes pricked but she blinked a few times and pushed the threatening tears back. No need to cry, even if her chest suddenly felt so warm it was nearly unbearable.

It had been a long time since she felt so cared for in such a way. Maybe she never had.

She loved him for it.

A smile, new and warm pulled at her lips and she hummed, her free hand reaching up and brushed a thumb across his jaw line. Surprise flashed over his features even though her touch only lasted a few moments before she let it drop again. Everything about such a simple, random action felt like it belonged.

"Then I'll keep my job," she said finally and took a deep breath, trying to even the shake in it. "And I want to be at your side, no more hesitation, no more secrets. Together, no matter the risks."

It took him but a moment to reply.

"As would I."

Well, that was easy, sort of. Not really. She tugged at a strand of hair again that ran down over her shoulder. Her leg protested again in its own random schedule of _fuck you._ She grimaced.

"Kira?" Gaara's worried question had her giving him a slightly odd looking smile from the pain and the dread that followed it like a shadow.

Shadow _. Funny._

"Sorry," she murmured, biting her lip for a moment. "This has just... It's a lot harder than I ever imagined it would be. I'm not sure how..." she trailed off. It shouldn't have been so hard but it was.

"Sometimes, it's these kind of battles that are the hardest," Gara said softly, understand and then once she'd looked back to him, he stood suddenly. Their clasped hands hung between them like a life line back onto solid land from her uneven footing of earlier. He gave the smallest tug on her arm, encouragement that she badly needed. "Every step is hard Kira, but know you do have someone to make sure you don't fall. Not just me, several people." His eyes, sincere like the tone of his voice, yet steel strong. "You just have to stand up first, That's up to you."

Her choice.

She had to want to stand up to do it. She had to want to get better, to keep her carefully carved out place in the world. So simple - yet not. Still, as she let his words sink in she realised that she had never let herself give up. Not when something was so important. Why start now?

She was stronger than this.

_The sky has room for every star._

Kira nearly laughed, her mind once so full of doubt and pain suddenly stripped and reinforced with the will she had nearly forgotten she had. Eyes locked on his, Kira nodded, shifting and planting her feet firmly on the ground, her hand tightening around his.

She stood then - and always would, time and time again.

…

Therapy sessions weren't something Gaara was supposed to be able to go to - he did have other things he should have been doing and he wasn't sure if he was a distraction or not - but Sakura was surprisingly okay with it. The medical ninja and simply stated that it might help if someone was there to motivate her, so Gaara had chosen to sit in on sessions off and on when he could.

It was a lot harder to watch then he'd thought it would be. Kira struggled quite a bit as she learned how to walk, something that he thought would have been easier than it was turning out to be. It seemed to be a lot more painful and tiring than his first impression. Still, she improved steadily and fell less often. The jerking reflex to have his sand catch her when she did was something Sakura smile secretly at when she thought no one was looking. He hadn't planned on doing it but the bruising on her remaining knee had started to brothered him.

It took time and a fair amount of cursing but she did get better, it did get easier, and something about that accomplishment made him just as happy for her as she was for herself. She wasn't giving up, nowhere near that, and it was one of the many things he truly loved about her.

Kankuro sent a letter about his impending arrival a few days after Kira finished learning the basics of walking again. The crutches were gone and while it was still hard to walk on the bulky stand in, at least she could now. Gaara's older brother had been told what happened via messenger bird only hours after Gaara had come to the village. Ever since then it seemed the puppet master had been hard at work, much like everyone else. His letter had lifted the shadow user's spirits in a way Gaara knew only old friends ever could.

He tried to not take it personally.

"So how's she doing?" Kankuro asked as they headed towards Kira's room. He had a bag slung over his back, an extra to what he normally took with him on missions and had explained there were things for Kira from home. It was a surprisingly thoughtful thing for him to do. Gaara pushed back the annoyance he felt at the question; he was sure both Kira and himself were tired of such questions, but he knew his brother meant well. So, arms firmly crossed, the redhead answered the best he could.

"Better. She stumbles a lot but can catch herself now at least most times. She's not use to such fine chakra control." Gaara knew it was embarrassing for her, but she never really complained. Kankuro huffed, shaking his head and fighting a smile.

"Yeah, that figures. That wasn't really part of her training growing up. I'll see if I can give her some pointers." He was the best one to go to, given that puppet masters used that same kind of chakra threads, just far more complex. Kankuro scratched the back of his head through the hood he always wore. "Things are fine back home by the way. Nothing much it going on except some rebuilding as normal. Almost done now."

Kankro had left the village in the hands of a few trusted elders with Baki backing them up if needed. There was no way to know if anything would happen while it's leader was away but with Gaara's team in shambles he wasn't too keen on travelling. He wasn't planning on leaving without Kira either. As they turned a corner Gaara glanced at his brother.

"Did you encounter any trouble on the way here?" Further explanation wasn't needed, Kankuro knew what he meant and shook his head.

"Nope. I'm not surprised, you probably took out quite a few of the big players. Whoever is behind this probably knew it was a gamble and thought bigger numbers would make for a higher rate of success." True enough. "Any progress on the ninja you brought back?"

"None," Gaara bit out, fighting a scowl. It had been determined that both girls had some kind of seal on their mind that the leaf ninja were having a great deal of problems breaking. "Kira insist on stopping by there today. I'm not so sure it's the best idea."

"She's probably sick and tired of being in this building," Kankuro explained, looking around. "And if she can walk than she might as well go places. You can't tell me it wouldn't drive you crazy."

He had a good point. Temari and him normally took turns keeping Kira company in conjunction with her friends and teammates, but he couldn't imagine being stuck in one building for so long was healthy.

They reached her room quickly after that and Gaara knocked once before opening the door. The colorless and bland room was the same as always with the bed being the center of attention and a few tables off to the side with matching chairs scattered about. Aya was with Kira today it seemed, both girls turning as he and Kankuro entered the room. The blond was completely recovered by now and was certainly much better off than either of her teammates. He often wondered if that bothered her and if that was why she spent so much time either here or in Shura's room.

Kira perked up at seeing them from her spot on the edge of the bed, her hand frozen in the common motion of securing her prosthetic. A smirk twitched into place on her face and she tilted her head. "Look who finally showed up," she teased and Aya snickered from her chair next to the bed. Her eyes flickered to his for a moment, the smirk soften to a smile as his brother gave a gruff huffing sound and she moved her attention back to him.

"You should never rush an artist," he chastised, setting down his packs onto one of the other chairs before making his way over to the bed. Kira simply raised an eyebrow.

"I'll remember that for when I meet one." The grin on her face was a clear giveaway and the puppet master rolled his eyes before bending down and pulling her into a hug. Surprise flashed through Gaara as well as on Kira's face but after a moment she simply let her chin rest on his shoulder and returned the gesture.

"Sorry I worried you," she murmured but didn't receive a reply. Gaara could only imagine receiving such news about a friend would have been devastating for his brother given how close they were. Aya was watching them quietly from her seat a few feet away, a pleasant smile on her face before their eyes met briefly and she inclined her head briefly in greeting to the redhead. After a few more moments Kankuro pulled away and scratched at his neck in habit.

"Just glad you're alright," he said finally and glanced down to her practice leg and grimaced. "No wonder you're tripping, that things looks clunky as hell." He wrapped his knuckles on the main section of it in gesture. "Take it off, I'm fixing this now." As he moved back over to his packs Gaara took the opportunity to move closer and sat in the chair closest to her bedside nightstand, the back of the chair nearly press against the edge. He made sure not to disturb anything as the table held a vase of flowers, two books, and a newly acquired potted succulent.

The thing was tiny, easily held in one hand, and sporting dark red-purple leaves. Gaara remembered the nervous, awkward moment when he'd given it to her as an 'apology gift' stating that flowers would just die and she deserved something full of life instead. Konoha didn't have many choices in cacti and had they been home he would have known exactly what to get her but it would have to do for now. He eyed the plant briefly now, checking to make sure it didn't need water before turning his attention back to the others.

Aya had moved to sit on the bed next to her friend and helped her get the training prosthetic off, setting it on the other side of her with a thud of muffled weight. Kankuro had returned to the bedside as well, a small hand scroll in his possession which he quickly unrolled on the ground. The paper held a single transportation sign on it and after a few quick hand signs and a puff of smoke what was held within appeared.

While the prosthetic Kira had been using before worked, it had indeed been 'clunky' as his brother had put it. The shapes that made parts of the leg and foot had been there, but it was nothing detailed or smooth, something quickly put together on a hospital budget and short notice. Despite Kira's early tease it was easy to see that what his brother picked up from the top to show off was artistically crafted. The smooth metal and wood worked perfectly together into the contours of each shape, leaving no random gaps or holes. It was clearly joined and crafted to look real despite the color and even had what appeared to even be movable toes for flexibility. Aya let out a low whistle.

"Wow, that looks awesome," she commented and Kira blinked, apparently slightly stunned before nodding in agreement. Kankuro grinned and held up one finger.

"That's not all it does you know, what kind of puppet master would I be if all it did was move, ne?" He quirked an eyebrow and then moved his free hand down to the side of the leg, pressing down on a nearly invisible panel. Moving his hand away a ratcheting sound started up and then the panels on the main part of the leg smoothly popped apart a few centimeters on each side to reveal a row of sharp teeth from one end to nearly the ankle. Gaara felt his eyebrows lift in surprise. Given Kira's fighting style involved mostly powerful kicks aside from her weapons something like that would be rather deadly if someone were hit, tearing into them with slightly hooked blades. After a few moments Kankuro reset the prosthetic, the blades disappearing as if they had never been there. "You'll have to learn how to control that function but I can help with that. I also have a normal, non battle equipped one half done at home but… I figured you'd want this one first. "

"That's amazing Kankuro," Kira noted with a smile. "Thank you for making it..." she pushed a stray hear behind her ear and looked down at her legs. Kankuro nodded his head and took a step closer to help her put on the new attachment. Aside from just the normal attachment slot their appeared to be a stabilizing strap that acted like a harness she could slip on higher up her leg made of soft leather. It would help keep it in place during a fight the puppeteer explained which made sense. He was glad his brother knew what he was doing.

Gaara watched with mild interest as Kira was instructed on how to use the other functions on the leg, describing in detail how it should feel and how she should visualize it. The first time the blades popped out she jumped and Aya giggled a bit, patting her on the shoulder. "Best not use that in bed Kira," she muses and Kankuro raises an eyebrow at her as Kira suddenly flushes and scowls at her friends. Gaara tilted his head in a sense of confusion. Why would she go to bed with it on?

He was missing something.

"Aya, honestly.. .We're just… we..." Kira stutters and gets impossibly redder leaving the blond to grin like the devil as the puppet master glanced from each of them and then meets Gaara's gaze and after a few second he seems to realise something.

"Wait a second..." Kankuro says eyeing Gaara before glance at Kira who honestly looks like she wants to bolt but is unable to do so with her leg. He was definitely missing something. He watched his brother lean in closer to Kira who into turn moves slightly back from his scrutinizing gaze. "Did something happen… between you two?" He seemed to take her silence as an answer and Gaara can only watch as a grin split over his brother's face like that of a fox. He glanced at Aya who just grinned right back in confirmation and Kankuro rather dramatically throws his hands up in the air. "Halle-fucking-lujah! I mean it was super adorable to watch you guys try to figure things out but I was about the bash my head into a wall at the sheer frustration."

Oh.

Once again the topic quiet suddenly clicked into place for the redhead, hitting him blindsided and leaving him kind of dizzy. His brother had just figure out that Kira and him were… more than friends? Together? He was still getting use to the new titles they had for each other and He supposed Kira was still adjusting as well given her expression.

Their eyes met for a moment before she looked down and promptly covered her face with her hands. "Just kill me now..." she mumbled and Gaara raised his eyebrows at her. Was she truly that embarrassed? Not by him he knew, but maybe just the dramatics of it all. Temari had certainly been more calm about it and Aya and nearly hugged the life out of her but she supposed his brother was another story. If only because he was his brother and her best friend.

"Oh come on Kira, you know I'm just teasing you," Kankuro went on, draping an arm over her shoulder in a one sided hug. "I gotta know though, how exactly did-"

"Kankuro," Gaara cut in, annoyance fuelling his words and stopping his brother in his tracks. Gaara simply gave him a level look. "That topic is really none of your business. I believe she will tell you if she wants to later." He didn't like how Kira was fidgeting. Still, She did smile just a bit at his words so he changed the subject. "Besides that we need to get going soon." He got the response he wanted and Kankuro pulled back and stood up nodding his head.

"Right, sorry," he told Kira who nodded as well, though her blush hardly went away so fast. "Well, you'll need more practice with the hidden weapons but now is a good time for a test run on basic functions, you ready to go outside?" His question had Kira perking slightly and she smiled again, her focus diverted to which Gaara sighed in relief for. Placing her feet firmly on the ground she shifts to stand on her newly acquired master crafted leg and Gaara can tell by the surprise that flickers across her face that it's easier to use already.

Not that he ever expected any else from his older brother.

The fresh air seemed to do them all some good, though most notably for Kira as they start their path towards the criminal hold facilities. They would be just starting another interrogation on one of the girls and while Gaara had been in on a great deal of the sessions he hoped Kira wouldn't start hanging around too much. She had enough nightmares. He's reminded off hand of the day she stopped the attempt on his life, how she'd so easily broken the man's arm for info as if it were nothing. ANBU were trained for on mission interrogation, he knew that, but part of him hated to see her do such a thing when he knew that she truly didn't like hurting others. She had no mask to hide behind this time, no name or false identity. It had been left in the room with her other things, forgotten, leaving her open to everything around her.

Vulnerable.

The walk is easier than he expected for Kira as he walks beside her, his hand at the ready when she trips up half a dozen times, his sand stopping her from falling on her face. She'd adapting rather quickly, but Kankuro doesn't seem surprised and Gaara realises that when he really thinks about it, neither is he. Kira had always been good at adapting. Her hand brushed against his each time he caught her as a silent thank you and he fought the strange urge to clasp their hands together between them. She needed to concentrate right now, surely that would distract her; it seemed to when he had before.

"Yo!" A lazy voice called as they near the entrance to the building and Kira stopped, turning, as does everyone else. Gaara spotted Shikamaru a moment later, hands shoved into his pockets like normal as he made his way over to them. He greets Gaara formally as always before his eyes flash down to the contraption that serves as Kira's leg for a moment before he smirked. "Good to see you up and around Kira."

"It's good to be back in working order… sort of," Kira replied smiling slightly to which the Nara boy nodded his head. "What brings you here?"

"Same as you I would think. Though, now that I'm thinking about it," he pauses, scratching the back of his head. "There is something I would like to speak to you about if you have time later."

Curiosity peaked Gaara's attentioned and he eyes the boy his sister loves with interest. Something to do with Kira? True enough they spoke now and then but nearly always in the company of Temari. Gaara wondered if it has to do with what Kira asked his help with months ago, if it's about her birth family. The way Kira raised an eyebrow told him she is thinking as much and gave a small nod.

"After this?" she offered and Shikamaru nodded in agreement.

"Let's get this over with then." He sounded as enthused as Gaara felt and moved to open the door for them all. Kira glanced at Gaara, frowning and knowing she was nervous, the redhead takes the first steps in. She followed shortly after with Kankuro and Aya, the Nara boy taking up the rear as they make their way through the hall. No one is there to greet them, but Gaara knew where to go by now, and pushed open a door on their left after walking down the hall a few passes.

The room was darker than he remembered, a lot of the space cleared out for a single table that one of the rogue ninja is manacled too, her wrist pinned to the wood. Her eyes are also compromised, a blindfold firmly in place to disorant her. Ebiki and Kakashi are in the room, speaking in a low voice that Gaara can't quite make out and Kira hesitated to cross the threshold as her teammate took a step back.

"I think I'll stay out here," Aya stated suddenly after peering in. "Don't want too many people in there." Her words seemed to get his brother thinking as well.

"Ah, yeah you're probably right. I'll keep you company."

The two of them stepped back from the door, heading to a bench a little farther down the hall. Gaara watched as Kira's gaze lingered on her friends for a moment and then she took a deep breath and walked in through the open door with Shikamaru behind her. The door closed with a quiet echo left behind in the air and the three of them move to stand near the other two leaf ninja. Kakashi's eye flickers to them and he nodded his head in greeting, waving at Ebiki who took a step towards the table.

Kira shifts on her feet, the clank of her prosthetic too loud in the quiet room as the blindfold is removed. Gaara wondered if she'd wear a shoe on it latter on or keep it as is. The girl blinked a few times once the blindfold was gone, focusing her sight and looking around the room with disdain. She took them all in, one by one, from right to left, skipping over the Leaf ninja quickly due to familiarity, but stopped abruptly when her gaze shifted from him to Kira. Gaara tensed slightly as the girl looked over the shadow user before a cruel smile found its way onto her face. It's the first time either of the rogue ninja have shown any real emotion since capture.

"Well, well, well..." she mused. Her voice was scratchy from disuse and Kira stiffened next to him, through her face remained blank. "You took so long to show back up we were starting to think I had killed you after all." Her admission had anger simmering to life in Gaara's veins. So she was the one who hurt Kira. _Her_ arm seemed to have healed rather well. "I was getting tired of waiting… these fools, I can't tell them what I need to tell you."

"Explain yourself," Ebiki bit out, towering over her from the left side. Her eyes slid to him and she snorted, unimpressed.

"Well the seal on my mind, the one you couldn't break? It only lets me tell her things, just like my leader wanted." She nodded to Kira who frowned and stared right back at the girl. Gaara didn't know how to react to that. Why would she only be allowed to talk to Kira? His bodyguard didn't seem to know them or else she would have said something, and why would their leader want to say something to a random ninja that might be in the area? Was it possible they had known who was headed to the Leaf from Suna?

That wasn't a good turn of events at all if that were true.

"Then talk," Kira commanded suddenly, hands clenching at her sides. She's slipping into mission mode, Gaara can see that, even without her mask in place she was getting things done. "I don't know why you'd want to talk to me but if I have to, I will speak with you." She glanced to Kakashi for permission and he nodded his head in agreement. The girl gave a harsh laugh, one that matched the way her hair was pulled so tight on her scalp.

"As if you have a choice," she teased bitterly, narrowing her eyes as she tilted her head to one side. "Our leader misses you, little Kyote. He misses his favorite scavenger." It's almost like she was cooing the words, as if they are meant to be light and sweet, but the deadly malice in her voice corrupts it, turning it cold and heavy. Something in the back of Gaara's mind tickled, something about those words ringing a distant bell that he can't quite hear. It's the visible tremor that goes up Kira's arms that alerts him to something being very wrong. Shikamaru seemed to see it to and took a small step towards her.

"Kira..."

"You're lying," she snapped, cutting off his concerned words and Gaara is left blinking in shock at the venom in her own. She took two long steps forward and slammed her hands down on the table, anger rolling off. The girl just grinned wider and rolled her head to the other side.

"What would be the point in that, hm?" she questioned, her fingers tapping on the table in a wave like motion that made a quick tap-tap-tap-tap sound. "He's been watching you a while, but he thought you were getting too… comfortable. He had to make some things happen and then you walked right into our hands..." the girl let out another laugh, sounding tickled. "He says you need to be reminded who you are, Stray. And how can he be wrong? He does know you rather well." Her words echo, and Gaara isn't sure if it's in the room or in his head but his breath suddenly caught in his throat, the bell ringing louder and louder until-

Kira took one very shaky step backward and then tried to take another, but instantly her prothedic is useless and she smashed to the ground before his sand could reached her. Everyone in the room reacted, the Leaf ninja flinching at her sudden fall, the Nara boy saying her name. Gaara was the one to move to her first, kneeling next to her, his sand shifting on the ground around him like a pacing cat. Kira's entire form is trembling, her carefully hidden expressions laid bare and twisted into horror as she stared at the girl who simply grinned back.

tap-tap-tap-tap

He put a hand on her shoulder and she flinched and looked at him with frightened eyes that made him want nothing more than to shield her from all of this.

But he couldn't.

Once someone knew the truth of something, shielding them from it did nothing. And they both knew what that truth was. Or rather, who. Kira shook her head at him, not understanding, not wanting too and he is just as confused and angry because it can't be true.

But it is.

"They said… I saw him," she mustered out, breathless. "I helped find his body. He's dead."

"You shouldn't always believe what you see, Stray," the girl reminded her, eyes so cold it reminded Gaara too much of the Scorpion Section's trained ninja. It was far too similar to be a coincidence. "People can be fooled."

He's heard enough.

"Get her out of here," Gaara ordered, fire running along the words as he pulled Kira up and away from the girl, whose head fell backward mouth opening as she let out a howling laughter. Ebiki moved instantly, using the same cloth that had been a blindfold as a gag, pulling it tight over her mouth as Shikamaru moved to unshackle her, his shadow strangle jutsu already working to keep her from moving. The girl doesn't so much as fight them, too busy laughing like some deranged animal as they drag her out of the room and into the hall.

Gaara heard the startled sounds of his brother and Aya as the door closed but he focuses his attention on the girl pulled halfway into a hug, her shoulder still shaking, her eyes staring at the empty chair.

"It can't be," she murmured again and Gaara didn't know what to say because everything was now up in the air. Nothing made any sense. He wished with every fiber of his being he could tell her she was right, that the girl was lying - but those eyes… those were the same eyes as the people that bastard personally had trained. The eyes he'd tried to put on Kira.

"Want to tell me what just happened?" Kakashi asked finally and the redhead looked to the older man with a frown on his face. What had happened was Kira's nightmares coming back to life. What had happened was one of Gaara's angry thoughts coming true. When he spoke, it was with as much calm that he could muster, counter balancing the emotional state of the girl he loved.

"It appears Korin Esley may very well be alive."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, at least one good thing happened... some people just have bad luck is all. :)
> 
> Come bother me on tumblr @ Featherfang


	28. Declaration

Unfiltered, unprocessed terror. It was something Kira normally didn’t let herself feel so heavily. Fear wasn’t something to ignore, but to use in her line of work, to push one forward and to win in a battle, but to let it cripple you was another story entirely. She’d felt a bit like a ghost, detached and numb, as Kakashi had agreed with Gaara about letting her leave. The red head knew basically everything she did and if something came up, they could ask her later, hopeful after she was done having a panic attack. So she’d left, trying to give her boyfriend a small smile when he gave her a worried glance.

She honestly wasn’t sure how she’d kept her prosthetic working all that time and nearly lost her footing as she tripped out the door to the street outside. Her mind kept reeling, kept repeating the memories of how she’d found Korin’s body. She had never thought it could be a fake. By the time the body was found, it and half decayed, and the fact that it had been mutilated before death was hardly odd considering ANBU were supposed to destroy their bodies if they knew they were going to die. Kira herself had a sealed jutsu that would act like a bomb if her heart stopped for longer than ten minutes.

The woman’s words came back to her like a hissing ghost. Stray. Scavenger. Those were names used only by one person, a taunting, cruel way of reminding her she was an outsider. He’d been dead, and for years she’d worked to put him behind her and now… her hands wouldn’t stop shaking.

She couldn’t understand why he’d show up now of all times. If he’d been alive all this time, why wait three years? Had he been looking for weaknesses? She didn’t even understand why he would do any of this. Korin had always seemed loyal to the Sand, and despite his cruelty she’d always known he did it to keep his home safe. Kira leaned against the wall of the building a pressed a hand over her eyes. None of this made sense and all of it was terrifying.

_Calm down. Calm down. Think rationally about this._

Right. Because that was so simple to do when your personal demon comes back from the dead.

“You alright?” The calm male voice had her almost jumping out of her skin. In fact, she almost fell if it wasn’t for the wall behind her as her control on the prosthetic faltered and almost slipped out from under her. She winced, hand dropping as her head jerked to the side, her hands braced against the building. Shikamaru was leaning on the door frame with his shoulder, hands in his pockets as he surveyed her calmly. Even with that nearly bored expression, Kira saw the traces of concern in his dark eyes, which kind of surprised her. They didn’t know each other that well and honestly the only real connection they had was Temari. It was nice either way, but she was starting to get tired of hearing that question. She sighed and shook her head, looking across the street and eyeing a shop there.

“Would you be?” she asked finally and watched as he too sighed, nodding his head.

“Yeah, I guess I see your point. Must be a drag,” he relented. “I don’t really know the story but I can tell it’s something bad. Won’t push for you to tell me though. Just know you’ve got friends here okay?” It was an unexpected kind gesture from him and Kira felt her brows go up in surprise.  

“Thank you...” she murmured looking down. It was nice that he didn’t push for answers.

“No problem,” he replied and pushed off from the door frame to walk completely outside. “I know you’ve got a lot on your mind, but did you still want to know what I found out?” His question took her a moment to really understand, mind reeling backwards. Somehow this morning, a few hours ago, seemed so distant after everything. He had wanted to talk, about what he’d found about her - her family, her history. Another heavy subject she supposed, which was why he was giving her the option to back out.

“No, it’s fine,” she said quickly, shaking her head. “Honestly... It would be a nice distraction.” Something to occupy her mind other than memories of a monster in human skin and pain. Understanding flashed in those dark eyes and he nodded his head, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Well, then we’ll need to go to my family’s compound, it’s where I set things aside. I could tell you here but I always find things easier to believe if there’s proof in front of me.”  He gestured for them to get going and Kira nodded, latching her chakra back onto the prosthetic more firmly and pushing away from the wall. The first step, like ever one of them, was a bit unsteady but Shikamaru waited patiently as she came up beside him and then matched her pace as he led her down the street.

They were quiet for a bit beside him inquiring on her condition, asking if she was doing okay, which she gave the same answer she was becoming used to giving. She was better than before, but it was taking time. Kankuro’s design had helped a lot and even though she’d had it just one day it was easier to walk than the day before with the hospital made one. There was something uniquely artistic about puppet masters, she’d always liked watching her friend work. There was another long beat of silence after that before Shikamaru cleared his throat and looked to her again.

“So...” he drawled out as they turned a street corner. “You and the Kazekage eh?” He raised a single brow at her, giving her a lazy smile as she tensed up, having to throw her attention to her leg in order to not fall. Heat scattered across her face and she felt the nagging need to look away, to look down, but denied herself that. She wouldn’t allow herself to be embarrassed about something that made her happy.  So she took in a slow breath and mirrored his raised brow, cocking her head.

“Yeah… and?” She was almost gleeful when the boy looked unnerved and surprised by her counter attack before looking ahead of them again. Kira stared at him, waiting for some kind of reply but she got none. “Why?” she pushed, curious. He shrugged his shoulders in a typical lazy manor.

“Nothing it’s just… interesting.” He gave no further explanation, just started slowly sauntering off, leaving Kira to stare at his back, confusion rattling her brain. How was it interesting? Everyone had apparently seen it coming so why would it be a surprise? She bit back a sound of irritation at the lack answers today. Why did smart people always talk in riddles?

The Nara Compound was near the edge of the village, the back of it facing the thick forest surrounding the area. Kira remembered Temari telling her about a connection the family had with the wildlife, so it didn’t surprise her. In fact it looked amazing. His home was spralling and old fashioned in design, one level with a wrapping deck and rice paper sliders that seemed popular in Konohana, the wood a dark oak left unstained. Shikamaru led her in at the front and Kira gave a disgruntled sound when she was force to sit on the lip of the entryway in the mudroom because she couldn’t get her shoes off while standing yet. Her host didn’t comment, just took the moment to look at it more closely.

Once inside, they were briefly greeted by his mother, a pretty women with long dark hair and smile lines. The leftovers of dark shadows under her eyes were covered up well enough by makeup Kira almost didn’t see them, wouldn’t have if she wasn’t trained to see such small details. She wondered if it was from missing her husband, the older Nara having died in the war. She wondered how Shikamaru was dealing with it as well, though she doubt he would ever say anything to her. Tugging at a loose strand of hair, she suddenly regretted never meeting the man who’d planned the war.

In the end she didn’t comment on it and they ended up in a side room with a low table and a huge shelving system on one side filled with scrolls and books. It was like a small library, only not as well organized and far more private. Shikamaru gestured for her to make herself comfortable and so Kira sat down at the table on the cushion with a bit of maneuvering do to her leg. She noted the scroll already placed on the table along with a small stack of papers; clearly he’d been prepared for this and Shikamaru only made that more clear as he sat down across from her, a slightly weary look on his face. Why was he nervous? Setting his hands on his folded legs he took in a breath, look straight at her and suddenly bowed his head.

“I owe you an apology,” he stated firmly and Kira felt the shock that lanced through her chest like a bolt of lightning. She stared, confused at the boy across from her, mouth opening to say something, to demand or reassure him he’d done nothing to apologize for, but he spoke again before she could. “I haven’t been completely honest with you about what I knew. I had an idea about you for a while, but I wanted to make sure before I got your hopes up,” he explained , finally looking at her face, those dark eyes serious, unwavering in his words.

Confusion ran like a spooked cat around her skull, her brows pulling together at his words. Had he pondered on her background since the first time they’d met then? Him keeping information on her was unsettling, confusing but… she took in a slow breath through her nose. She found herself unable to muster any anger, or spite. Whether that was because in the end she didn’t blame him or if she was just too emotionally drained she didn’t know.

“I understand,” she assured him, giving him a small smile, one of her hands idly brushing over the smooth metal of the prosthetic as her legs laid curled off to the side. The distraction of the texture helped keep her mind steady, her heart less frantic. “I would probably have done the same.” After all, false hope can sometimes hurt more than the truth. Leaning forward, she rested her other hand on the space between the pillows on the ground, fingers twitching. “Just tell me now.” She barely got the words out evenly, cursing her sudden lack of a spine. Shikamaru nodded his head, and placed both hands on the table, clasped.

“I’d heard of something close to your power a few years ago. The power to use shadows like a portal into a different world and to travel from place to place using them. My father told me about them briefly, he said it was much like a Kekkei Genkai in the way that it only existed within a certain blood line, but that it didn’t involve two different chakras which is why is wasn’t considered one.” He weaved his fingers together more tightly on the table and Kira found she couldn’t really look away from him, not when his words triggered connections in her mind she’d only thought of once, briefly, before pushing away. It had been foolish to even ponder.

“Your father?” she murmured in question, because that was the main clue he had dropped around the truth he skirted. “Why would he know?” She didn’t know if she wanted the answer or not, though she knew he was going to give her one. The urge to move, to leave to run coiled in her still present leg, her hand curling on the ground.

“That would be because, Kira,” Shikamaru answered, “he was telling me stories of my family, our family, that day.” It was confirmation that part of her didn’t really need, but something felt like it was knocked loose from her chest anyway, a spring in a clock unjamming finally. She felt the air in her lung woosh from her like a great wind. She couldn’t seem to find words, couldn’t connect her brain to her mouth at she stared at him. What could one say to that? Finding out that you had family, that one of them was standing right in front of you. She’d been wrong to think she could handle this.

“So what are you saying then?” she murmured, weariness entering her mind.

“It’s not exactly was you’re think but… here,” he replied and quickly plucked up the scroll on the table, unraveling it and setting it down flat in front of them. The lines and names falling down the page told Kira is was a family tree, one that dated rather far back if the dates were true. Little dots of brighter color laid next to different names, some red, some blue, some white - a system of sorting no doubt. A hand appeared on the paper, Shikamaru training her eye to follow a pointer finger as it went down a particularly section - one that split off three generations back and seemed to create an offshoot. “This would have been my dad’s great, great uncle. One of three children in the succession and the only one of the three that had the ability I spoke of before, while the other learned the justus I have - shadow strangle and stitch and the like. The other was genetic as I said before, and only a parent could pass it down, but that uncle - Kosuke, apparently fell in love with a women from a small village near the border of the Land of Rivers.”

Not the Leaf then? Kira found herself blinking, realizing that the ink color changed slightly in the new branch, brown instead of red. Land of Earth instead of Fire. “He just… left?” she managed to ask and the boy across from her tilted his head.

“Well, they didn’t force him to stay or anything. This was back before Konoha was built so a great deal of clans just wandered. Kosuke was required to stay in touch to a certain degree, as would all of his descendants. Reporting family lineage and such; nothing very substantial, just names and if that ability was passed on. So that branch of the Nara broke off from this one, and as you can see,” he moved his finger down the family line, and Kira read as the name changed from ‘Nara’ to ‘Toshiyami-Nara’ a hyphenated last name. “The daughter of that line two generations later married and took his name, but kept ours as the clan stated.”  His fingers continued down, two more generation to the last joint pair, one that as Kira looked lined up with Shikamaru’s parents. There was a line below those names, but she couldn’t get her eyes too look to it, couldn’t even read the names. Something about it was frightening. She looked back up at him, still confused, still wondering how he thought it was her.

“This is nice and all bu-t,” her voice cracked and she swallowed, eyes flickering back down at the paper again. “It seems like your family kept pretty good tabs on things, and as I said I can’t remember my young years below six so...” That was the mystery, the question that haunted her steps. Why would she have been found wandering the desert alone if she’d had family in a different country entirely. She tried to ignore the fact that the Land of Rivers was rather close to the border of the Land of Wind. Shikamaru pulled his hand back, threading both back together on the table.

“I know it seems like a long shot, but here’s why I see a connection.” His eyes closed, thoughtful, but tight, like the word he were to speak wouldn’t be easy. Kira braced herself, it could be good new if he was acting like that. “About twelve years ago that small village that section of the Nara clan was in, was raided and destroyed by a group of rogue ninja. There weren’t many survivors from it. We didn’t hear about it for a while because we didn’t have much contact with them, but when they didn’t send their yearly report people got concerned. My father sent a scout to look into it and they reported back that there were no signs of that branch left. After speaking with people he had found graves of the two who had been living in the address.” He glanced down, and Kira’s eyes followed, back to those two name, really seeing the colored dots now, seeing the red of them, and the ones before them, the one on his father’s name. His words sent a tremor through her, skittering up her skin like a spider. She swallowed.

“I see...so...”

“They had a little girl,” Shikamaru cut in, stopping her from her slowly escalating panic at she stared at the names. Siaka Toshiyami-Nara and Tomoawi Toshiyami-Nara. They didn’t mean anything to her, not the barest of things yet… yet she couldn’t stop staring as he spoke. The name directly below them had been covered with a small piece of paper taped down and she was oddly thankful for it. “She would have been around my age, a year older. I never met her, too long of a journey for someone my age, but they did send a photo.” Papers rustled and Kira blinked as a photo was indeed placed in front of her, over the names she’d been staring at.

It was old, the edges worn, the crisp lines of color bordering it beginning to fade, but most of it was in good condition, the people in it clear as day. Kira felt her lower lips tremble and bit it to make it stop. The parents, still young, maybe early thirties, were smiling. The man had long black hair tied back in a tail much like Shikamaru’s, though the hair was longer than his and he had dark green eyes, a hardened build from working. The lady beside him was shorter, smaller in bone mass and stature, with curling blond hair and hazel eyes.

They stood slightly behind the third person, a child, quiet young with coloring closer to her father’s, her hair jaw length as she peered up at the camera with delight. Her eyes, a bright shade of gold, stared Kira down and pinned her there, those eyes so very familiar to her. If was if that girl had been copied straight from the picture in her room back in Suna, with different parents behind her but the same hair, and same eyes.  

She couldn’t breath.

There was so little doubt now, so little for her to deny with that photo, yet Shikamaru seemed to think even a slight amount was too much and spoke again.

“The letter that originally came with the photo, also explained that she had shown signs of Shadow Dance, the ability only that branch of Nara possessed. They never found the girl’s body, she wasn’t with her parents, so she was labeled missing and was looked for but...” He raised his shoulders in a shrug, sighing. “They never found her, saying it was possible with such a small body that the carian animals could have been the cause.”

The room went silent. There was a buzzing in her ears, all that information like little bees swarming and diving in her brain. She closed her eyes and shook her head slightly, letting it sink in, letting her mind concentrate on her breathing. She’d wanted so badly to know, ever since she’d woken up in Suna - who she was, where she’d come from. Now it seemed hard to swallow, too bulky and sharp to try and sink down into her form. Kira had never really expected anything like this, had always assumed her family was dead and nameless. Everything in front of her, even the boy - her cousin she realized - proved that wrong.  

“I had… wondered,” she whispered finally, her lips trembling slightly at the effort to get her thoughts out. “Had played with the idea once, after Temari told me about your family’s jutsu. Played with and then quickly dismissed it.” Looking at Shikamaru she hardly felt the pricking in her eyes, the overflow and the sliding of tears down her face that cause his eyes to widen slightly. “I never imagined it would be true...”

To his credit, Shikamaru recovered quickly, giving her a half smile in comfort, relaxing a bit now that the hard part was over. “As far as I can tell it is Kira. I’m afraid due to the distance in our family tree a blood test, wouldn’t prove anything, but everything else does.” He folded his hands back together and looked her straight in the eyes, a smirk falling into place. “I told you I’d help you find your family, but I don’t think either of us thought at the time I already had. You are a Nara, Kira, and whether you want that title, whether you want to claim the name on this tree as your own, that’s up to you. I covered it, just in case.”

She gave him a grateful look. The ghost of curiosity itched at her but she batted it away; she knew that answer already. Wiping at her eyes with a free hand she shook her head slightly.

“Whatever they named me, it doesn’t really matter, I don't remember that person. The people who raised me gave me my name and I don't intend to stop using it now.” It wasn’t that she wasn’t thankful to her birth parents; she wasn’t rejecting her heritage, wasn’t trying to say she wasn’t that long lost girl. It was just to change her name now, after twelve years, would feel like the real betrayal to her adoptive parents. “If it that could be noted somewhere...” she trailed off, biting at her lip.

“I’ll make note of it, but it can’t be changed until you are officially recognized as part of the clan again. Nothing complicated, just a few of the elders need to meet you at some point. You’ll also need to decide how you’ll deal with your last name, but that can wait for now. I’m sure you have a lot to think about. I certainly did when I figured it out.” He stood easily, moving around the table and holding a hand out to her and smiled lazily. “Whatever you decide, I’m glad I was able to put one of my father’s regrets to rest.”

Kira glanced at his hand for a moment, and then back at his face. The boy was younger than her by a year, much like Gaara, but somehow he carried himself in a way that made him to much older. Still, the formal stiffness he carried wasn’t him, and Kira felt as if it were wrong, this gesture, so she stood up as well. He was family, after all, and she had known him beforehand as well, trusted him, even. Still, she found herself surprised by her own actions as she by passed his hand up and hugged him.

She felt him stiffen, flinch in surprise at her actions. She simply let him process it and rested her chin on the boy’s shoulder. “Thank you, for finding me.” She had never been lost, not really, but her past had been along with her identity. She’d made a new one, a new home and new life, but it was one built without foundation. He’d unearthed it for her, and suddenly the events of the day didn’t seem so awful with some good news.

Like everything, Shikamaru got over his shock again quickly and while he gave an exaggerated sigh, she felt his arms wrap around her shoulders in return. “You women and your hugs, honestly. It's kind of a pain,” he grumbled and Kira knew he didn’t mean it from his tone. “You’re welcome...You’ll always have a place here, if it’s ever needed. Doubtful but, nh, it’s here.”

Doubtful indeed given her home in Suna, her life there, but it was still nice to hear the words, to know she had family to fall back on, not just friends. Family… it was going to take a long time for Kira to get use to the idea of that.

Or maybe not much time at all.

…

 

When it had become clear that the ninja from Suna would be staying in Konoha for a while, they’d been moved to a housing unit set aside for dignitaries and other Kage like Gaara himself. It was a large home, meant to compensate for guards and possible family members, which suited them just fine down to the last person. It was certainly more comfortable than rooms at an inn with its sprawling design and wrap around deck. Gaara sat on the deck now, arms crossed as he started out over the small garden in the back. A pond held a trickling fountain in it and the soothing sound of the bamboo hitting the rocks as it became full was a comfort to his busy mind.

So much had happened in such a small amount of time. He often found himself processing it all over again when he had moments alone. He ran a hand over his face and sighed, letting his arms drop onto his lap for once. Somehow, the day felt more tiring than normal.

“My thoughts exactly,” a slightly amused voice piped up from behind him and Gaara would have turned to look at them, would have maybe even twitched at the sudden arrival, but he knew that voice. He knew it because just the sound of it made him feel better. From the corner of his eye he saw her sit down next to him, one bare foot of skin and bone while the other shined with metal and wood. Kira gave him a smile as she rested her back on one of the support beams to her left. “You alright?”

That seemed like a question he should be asking her.

He didn’t understand how she managed to smile. She’d been given two separate heavy topics in one day and while one was a good thing, he couldn’t imagine any of it was easy to digest. He’d only gotten the second telling of what she’d learned from Shikamaru, and he’d still been left surprised.

Gaara hadn’t really thought about the possibility that Kira could be a Nara; sure they had similar abilities but just because one was good at fire jutsu didn’t mean you were an Uchiha. Now that they were pretty sure she was a Nara he could see it, not just in powers but in other ways. They had similar coloring, though black hair certainly wasn’t rare. Something about them standing next to each other did give off a similar vibe now that he knew. It was a strange world, and one he really didn’t want to understand completely. He was just happy that she’d gotten some good news after the earlier news.  

Korin. Gaara still couldn’t believe the man was alive and that for some reason he was targeting his own homeland. He needed to speak with the elders back in Suna; somehow the man slipping through the cracks like that seemed fishy to say the least. He need to figure out what was going on before the man came after him, which seemed to be the goal in all of this.

While Kira had been learning about her family, Gaara had been speaking with Kakashi regarding the information they’d gotten. A lot of it had been informing the silver haired ninja about Korin Esly up to the moment he’d been ‘confirmed dead’. They’d gone over motivations, the random pillaging in villages and then the rather well planned attack in his team. Gaara had agreed that it was most likely in an attempt to get him, but as to why they weren’t sure. Motivations aside, the rogue ninja needed to be taken care of, they’d just needed more intel first.

It was decided that because of the loss of powerful members under Korin there was little chance of him doing anything more for a while. They still needed to locate his hideout and survey it for a time, try to figure out what was going on. That would take time and the Hokage would be taking care of that for the most part. There wasn’t much of a reason for Gaara to stay much longer after that conversation had been finished and all of that had led up to the present.

Today was the last day he’d be in Konoha, a thought that he’d been dreading for the past week since his brother had arrived. He was a leader and as much as he wanted to stay, he needed to return home. With the arrival of the ANBU team that would be his escorts arriving early that morning it was now set in stone. He’d be leaving Kira here and while she wouldn’t be alone he didn’t like doing it.

Her injuries were healing but her road to recovery would be long. She had better care here than in Suna as it were and asking her to travel such long distances as of now was out of the question. She wasn’t the only one though; her team leader, Shura, had woken up but was still for the most part out of commission. His broken legs were healing nicely but the blow to his head had been worrying for someone of his age. He was to be released from the hospital in the next few days if nothing happened.  Because of all of this and the Korin problem it had been decided that Team Fukuro would stay in Konoha with his sister while Kankuro and himself traveled back home.

“I don’t like any of this,” he admitted after a moment because really, why try to tell her anything but the truth? Kira deserved it after everything, most of all from him. “I don’t want to leave you behind.” He’d promised he wouldn’t in some ways, that he’d always be there for her. Now though… that was impossible with a three-day run between them. They’d hardly been able to do much of anything together since that day in the therapy room. Just stolen moments, quiet meals with his family and the short walks that Sakura permitted. He was staring down at his hands, palms up, fingers slightly curled, thinking about how little they’d acted different – should they be? – and winced at the thought of what distance might do. After a moment, lighter skinned fingers gently took his hand, her thumb rubbing at the outside curve of it. Gaara blinked once before looking back up to find she’d leaned forward, arm outreached, her amber eyes filled with a sad understanding that darkened them.

“I know, but I’ll be fine. We both will be,” she assured him, giving him a small smile. “A month isn’t that long and by then Sakura thinks I’ll be good to go back with you.” She was talking about when he comes back, a month from now when they planned to take down Korin. She was right that a month wasn’t that long, but it felt long. Longer still when he thought about how long it took them to get to this point in their relationship. No more wondering, no more fretting glances and misunderstood words. They were together.

It was still a bit of an odd thing to really think about.

He needed to talk to his brother about it, maybe get some advice from the male perspective. Kankuro wasn’t the best as sensitive matters but Gaara didn’t really have anyone else to turn to either.  It was predicament the redhead wasn’t quite sure of how to deal with. It didn’t mean he was completely clueless though, and as she’d said before the small shift between them didn’t change that much. He still knew her better than almost anyone.

He let his hand curl around hers in response.

“It’s not,” he agreed finally. “With everything that has happened it seems longer. Promise me that you will take it easy, even with the training.” He knew her regiment would start including her normal training routine from before the loss of her leg soon. It was the best way to figure out if she would still be able to handle her roles as a ninja and as his guard. If she failed, if she couldn’t build her strength up to what the medical ninja saw as acceptable, she’d likely be told she was a liability. If that happened, Gaara would have no choice but to force her into a early, honorable retirement from her lifelong job. He didn’t want to even think about having to do that to her, not when he knew she would more than likely become lost in her life, having everything she’d ever known taken from her. It wasn’t that he thought she wouldn’t be able to find something new to do, he was sure she could if given time, but he wasn’t sure she’d be happy with it. If she’d be able to put her heart into it like she did in her current role, dangerous as it was.

“About that,” Kira piped up at the subject and he raised his brows silently at her, wondering just what she was up to. He watched her worry her bottom lip before tugging at a strain lock of hair, pushing it behind her ear. “I will take it easy but, I’m also not going to just sit around. I have to work to get back to where I was before and I do intend to do just that.”  She shifted her weight on the deck, moving to face him completely. “I know you don’t have a lot of say in what happens while you’re gone, but this thing with Korin…I can’t just pretend it’s not happening.” She was skirting her own words again. It was a trait he’d picked up on a while back, a nervous habit to try and somehow soften her next word because she knew they wouldn’t go over well.  He already didn’t like where this was going, seeing as it had something to do with her old… teacher.

“What are you getting at?” He had a feeling he was going to regret asking. Kira shifted a bit, hesitating only a moment longer before meeting his eyes.

“If I pass Sakura’s evaluation over the next few weeks, if she deems me field capable again… I need you to let me be part of the team taking down Korin.” Her words left no real room for being unsure, for worry or second thoughts. Kira had thought about this long enough to be certain, Gaara could hear that much in the strength of her voice. It didn’t, however, cause the effect he was sure she’d wanted as surprise rippled through him followed quickly by frustration. She couldn’t be serious.

“Kira,” he said eventually, firmly and watched her stiffen slightly at his tone. It was a hard balance to find between speaking to her as her leader and as her boyfriend, but in this case, it was a pretty cut and dry choice: neither side of him liked her idea at all. “Given the history that the two of you have, I don’t believe that this is a very smart choice. I don’t want you anywhere near that man.” Then again, maybe it was a bit more one side then the other. Kira seemed to see that too and drew her hand from his, frowning.

“You don’t need to protect me,” she pointed out, but even as she said that a part of his brain said _yes_ , he did.  

“You’ve been through enough Kira,” he argued, his heart clenching as he tried to not look down at her legs. He still heard her screams sometimes echoing in his ears, saw her blood on the ground. She’d suffered and he hadn’t been able to stop it. “Let someone else deal with this-”

“I can’t!” her outburst cut him off, stopping his words dead in his throat because Kira never snapped like that. Her eyes, the liquid gold in them had hardened, turning glassy with a wetness that made him want to shrink back. “I refuse to run away from it Gaara,” she went on, her hands clenching in her lap. “I know you just want me safe but I’m not a coward and Korin... I’ve been running from him for too long as it is. I thought I had closure when he died but...” She trailed off and shook her head. “I never faced him, never truly got away from him. This might be the only chance I get to really, truly move past all of it.”

Closure.

She wanted the monster in her past to finally be put to rest. Gaara knew that feeling all too well, that dogging feeling of never truely moving forward because things had never been settled. He’d gotten to put his to rest during the war when he’d spoke with his father and he’d finally learned the truth. He had thought that maybe she’d gotten that when she’d learned who her birth family was but it appeared that was only part of it.

Facing one’s own demons was never easy, but the steel in her eyes was enough to make him second guess his own resolve to keep her from the battle, despite everything. Gaara recalled his talk with Rock Lee weeks ago, about how no matter how he felt about something that had to do with Kira, in the end, he truly didn’t have a say in her personal life. It was true that asking to be part of a mission didn’t relate to her personal life, but the object of the mission could be seen as that.

Did he have any right to stand in her way in this? She had at least asked him to let her do so. She could have simply gone to Kakashi instead once Gaara was no longer in Kohana, but she hadn’t. They had, after all, said they’d try to be better about communicating things to each other. He didn’t want to see her in danger again but he also knew that if she did get back out in the field, even if it wasn’t against Korin, she’d be in danger. It was what both of them had chosen in life. Slowly, he reached out with the same hand and ran it over one of her clenched ones, never taking his eyes from her own.

“Promise me you’ll get Temari’s approval as well and I’ll agree to it,” he spoke softly, watching as she blinked in surprise a few times. Maybe she’d thought it would be harder to convince him and truthfully he didn’t like it, yet he knew he couldn’t just shield her from everything. This was something she had to do is she could. The smile that crept up onto her face helped ease the tension in his chest and mind though and she nodded her head.

“I promise,” she complied, biting her lip slightly, a nervous habit. “Thank you Gaara, I know it’s not easy to let me do this.” She fidgeted for a moment, flipping her hand over and threading her fingers through his once more again. She was right, it wasn’t easy, but it had to be done.

“You’re not just my subordinate Kira. I’m not sure I’ve seen you that way for a long time,” he admitted. “Just be careful. I don’t want to see you get hurt again.” It would tear him apart, he wanted to say, but the part of him that was Kazekage couldn’t let him, not when they were so far from home. No when ears could be listening in. Kira tilted her head and nodded slightly as if understanding his lack of words. She understood him in a way most didn’t and that was a comfort. Glancing away, back at the fountain in front of him, he felt a heaviness that came with inevitable outcomes stretch out before them. “I suppose that’s all we can truly do in the next month.” Apart. He didn’t want to say it again and oddly they hadn’t spent so much time apart since truly first meeting.    

“Gaara?” her quiet tone turned his attention back more than his name and the red head turned his head to look at her only to realise she’d moved closer. Much closer. His gaze was met with her near throat as something warm pressed against his forehead, right over the scare he’d carved into his own skin. He completely locked up, feeling heat flush straight up his neck, eyes widening as his brain clicked everything into place.

Kira was kissing him.

Perhaps not in the more common way; it was almost in a family sense, something his sister had done to him once or twice. Something that he’d seen mothers do to children. Yet the placement, right over the kanji for love seem to be closer to that of couples sharing a similar gesture because this wasn’t all that brief and small. The fact that she was touching his scar like that…  

Something in his chest uncoiled at the affection and instead of shying from it like he might have, he simply tilted his head towards her’s slightly and felt her other hand run over the top of his head, brushing back hair. He didn’t know what to do with his free hand at all and found that a bit too embarrassing even as Kira pulled back slightly and just rested her forehead to his, not saying a word for a long time, her breath simply scattering over his face. He left his eyes drop shut slightly, revealing in the warm glow their closeness created.

“I love you,” she whispered out finally, so quietly Gaara nearly didn’t hear it, though the shock it sent through his chest was still enough to make everything fuzzy in feeling. He’d known since the day in the hospital room, but hearing her say it...he couldn’t make anything in his brain work correctly.  “I always will,” she went on and something brushed against his scar again, rougher and callused, likely her hand once more. “Knowing that hardly makes time very relevant at all, does it?”

It did more than that, and she had to know it but Gaara still found his eyes closing at the words, enjoying them. They were true and it made him feel happy in a way he never had.

“Kira... I,” he paused finding his reply locked tight in his throat. Surely it couldn’t be that hard, yet fear still found it’s way in through tiny cracks. Fear set into place from a young age that everyone he loved either died or betrayed him. He knew better than that, he knew Kira and yet…

“Don’t tell me now,” Kira teased lightly and pulled back, the loss of her touch more painful than he would have thought as her fingers lingered in his hair a moment longer. He opened his eyes and met her own, curious as to why she’d say that. She just smiled and let her hand drop from his. “Tell me when we go home together. It will give me something to look forward to.” It seemed despite her words having him gone would hurt her just as much. The idea of such a promises, much like the one made before the war, made his lips tug up at the corners. She always knew exactly what to do in times like these, didn’t she? He wondered if she knew herself just how well she handled it.

“I will,” he promised her and she smiled, leaning her back against the beam again. He glanced over her face, at her calm expression as she stared out over the scene before them. Gaara knew he wasn’t very good at expressing things or telling people what he thought and that was much the same even with his family and Kira. Most of his thoughts stayed just that, never voiced to the world. Yet, watching her, looking at the liquid gold of her eyes and the way the breeze caught at her hair, Gaara really let himself realise how beautiful she really was. Not just pretty. She didn’t stand out perhaps like many others did, she was trained not too. Yet something about her coloring and the way she held herself made her stand out to him at least. He told himself that was another thing he’d tell her upon returning in a month.

Till then, he’d enjoy the moments they had like this, the quiet calm between them and the warmth they shared because these moments came so far and few between. Gaara pushed those thoughts aside quickly and ran his thumb over the back of her hand, her fingers tightened in response. She was there, with him and her touch and words still lingered in his heart and on his skin like the warmth of sun on desert sand. Despite everything that he was, everything that he had been, she loved him and that was all he needed to know.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that kiss is actually how this story started off, just a scene from almost... two years ago?


End file.
